Something Borrowed, Something Blue (J2, NC-17) 2/5
He’s still not convinced it’s a good idea, and when he gets back to the hotel room and realizes he agreed without asking Jensen, it just seems like a worse one.
The water isn’t running anymore, and the door to the bathroom is open a few inches, steamy air escaping.
Jared flops on the bed. “Hey, Jensen?”
“Yeah?”
“My parents want to have dinner with us tonight.”
Jensen doesn’t even hesitate. “Okay.”
“Are you sure? Don’t feel like you have to go - I can totally cancel if you don’t feel comfortable with it,” Jared says. “I know the whole meet-the-parents thing is awkward, and if you just want to - “
Jensen sticks his head out the door, face half-covered in shaving cream, interrupting Jared’s ramble. “Jared, I said okay. It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jared asks again.
“I’m sure,” Jensen replies, raising an eyebrow. “It sounds like you’re the one who’s not sure.”
Jared makes a face. “Well, don’t you think it’s going to be weird?”
Jensen disappears back into the bathroom, his voice echoing off the walls. “Not really. I have to meet them sometime, anyway, so what’s the big deal about dinner?”
“Dinner is different from a quick introduction at the picnic. Dinner is my dad telling all his bad jokes and my mom asking you a million questions, not just a quick “nice to meet you” and handshake.”
“So?”
“So that’s bad! You aren’t even a little worried that we’re going to mess something up?”
Jensen sighs, then Jared can hear some water splashing around. He leans out of the bathroom again, this time wiping his face with a towel. “No, I’m not worried. Look, Jared, your parents aren’t expecting me to be a fake - they’re not going to be checking my answers for lies. They’re going to be checking if you’re happy. And you’re supposed to be an actor, so if you can just act like you like me, then everything will be fine.”
That actually makes a lot of sense, laid out like that, and Jared relaxes a little. It’s not going to be hard to act like he likes Jensen, especially if he keeps on being so awesomely logical and reassuring.
Then Jensen comes out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a pair of tight black boxer-briefs, and okay, Jared thinks, mouth going dry, Jensen is also a lot of other things, starting with really, really hot. He knew Jensen was gorgeous, and it stood to reason that the rest of him was probably pretty nice to look at, but that was really an underestimate. Broad, freckled shoulders taper to slim hips and muscular legs, and the boxer-briefs can’t hide the spectacular ass in the middle. When Jensen bends over to grab some clothes out of his bag, Jared has to shift a little on the bed. Yeah, it’s really not going to very hard to pretend he likes Jensen.
* * *
Jared’s parents are sort of quirky, he knows that, but it still embarrasses him a little when they’re weird around someone else. They’re well-behaved at the beginning of the meal, and it’s clear Jared’s mom coached his dad on exactly what to say - his smile is a little stiff, and the words come out like the congregation responses at church, flat and inflectionless. His mom tries to make up for it by acting thrilled about everything Jensen says, as if to prove she’s really okay with the whole thing, and Jared feels his own smile slipping a little. Jensen, on the other hand, seems totally calm and cool with the whole thing, all smiles and polite conversation, so Jared lets him field the questions.
Jensen tells their fake meeting story just the way they planned it, although instead of just listing facts, like Jared expected, he throws in all kinds of details they’ve never discussed. At first Jared’s a little thrown, but when Jensen tells his parents how impressed he was with Jared’s acting, even citing specific scenes and episodes, it’s actually really nice and flattering. It gets a little embarrassing when his parents start chiming in and they’re all complimenting him like he’s not there, but when he tries to interrupt, he gets shushed.
“Anyway,” Jensen finishes, finally, “I just knew I had to meet this guy, after being so blown away by his work, so when I saw him at the premiere I introduced myself.”
It sounds completely ridiculous, and Jared rolls his eyes and says, “That’s totally a lie. You just thought I was smokin’ hot” without even thinking about it.
Jensen grins, though, just raising his eyebrows, and Jared realizes Jensen was teasing with all that over-blown adoration. “Well, that part certainly didn’t hurt.”
Jared shakes his head in mock disgust. “You’re just another shallow fan at heart, lusting after me.”
“Hey, you’re the one who agreed to go out with me,” Jensen counters. “So apparently that’s what you were looking for.”
“I was looking for someone intelligent, attractive, and witty,” Jared says. “And then you asked me out, and I thought, hey, one out of three isn’t bad.”
Jensen pretends to be wounded, but the corners of his mouth turn up. “Wait, which one did I get?”
Jared shrugs.
Jensen laughs. “Whatever, man. You said yes before I could even get the question out, so I think you’re protesting a little too much. Maybe you were doing a little lusting, too.”
Jared scoffs automatically, but he’s pretty sure there’s no missing the blush that burns his cheeks. He looks away, but that takes his gaze down to the table, which reminds him that his parents have been sitting there the whole time, and they witnessed that awkward sort-of-maybe flirting. His dad looks like Jared feels, fiddling uncomfortably with his silverware, but his mom is smiling a little. Jared clears his throat. “Can we just change the subject?”
Jensen laughs, patting him on the shoulder, and his parents join in.
After that, it’s a little easier. Jared’s parents loosen up a little, which means his dad tells all his bad jokes, including the one about the blonde and the trampoline that Jared has heard at least thirty-seven times and wasn’t even funny in the first place, and his mom rambles at length about the landscaping projects they’re working on, including all the details of the patio they put in earlier this summer.
But Jensen laughs at the jokes and asks all the appropriate questions about blocks and pavers and tamping technique, and pretty soon Jared’s pretty sure his parents think Jensen is the best thing ever. For his part, Jared tries to act like the adoring boyfriend, which isn’t really hard. Jensen’s an expert conversationalist, all eye contact and a fascinated expression on his face, but in breaks between sentences or stories, he always turns to check on Jared, and whenever he says something about the two of them, even when he’s talking to Jared’s parents, he’s looking at Jared. It’s not hard to smile at him and act a little infatuated.
After the food’s been cleared away and they’re onto dessert, Jared’s mom realizes Jensen has said almost nothing about himself and starts in on her interrogation. Jared panics a little at her questions, since he has no idea what the answers are, but Jensen puts a hand on his knee under the table, like he’s saying don’t worry.
When Jared’s mom asks where he’s from and Jensen says, “Oh, I’m from Texas, too,” casual as you please, Jared has to stop himself from jerking his gaze toward Jensen in shock. He only barely succeeds at aborting the gesture, and it ends up looking like a twitch. His mom gives him a funny look, but his dad’s busy asking Jensen the specifics about his upbringing, and she chimes in with more questions.
Jared listens as Jensen talks about Dallas and his parents and his siblings, all of which are new to him, and feels a little betrayed. It’s not really that big of a deal, that Jensen grew up only four hours from Jared, but it is a big part of his identity that he completely left out. And even though Jared knows it’s not the same thing, it brings back memories of another boyfriend who kept secrets, and it makes the apple pie in front of him completely unappetizing.
Jensen must notice, because a few minutes later he makes an excuse about being tired from the flight, and they say their goodbyes. Jensen and his dad head out to the parking lot to bring the cars around (and Jared really appreciates his own family making him the girl in this situation, he does) and Jared and his mom talk a little more as they head to the front of the restaurant. “I like him,” she says, out of the blue.
“Uh, good,” Jared replies awkwardly.
“But honey,” she says, stopping him with a hand on his arm, “Why didn’t you tell us earlier? You never said anything about seeing someone new, or that you were, you know - “ She waves a hand. “Into men again.”
Jared refrains from making a face at her wording and just shrugs. “It, uh, didn’t go so well last time,” he says. “Remember?”
Her mouth tightens. “That was different, and you know it.” She sighs. “Anyway, it was nice to meet Jensen. I’ll see you soon, honey.”
They hug, and then separate to get into the cars waiting out front.
* * *
Jared doesn’t say anything on the drive back to the hotel, thinking about Jensen and Chad and his parents and trying to figure out if the evening was a success or a total disaster. Jensen makes a few attempts at conversation, but gives up and turns on the radio after Jared’s answers are monosyllabic.
When they get to their room, though, Jensen waits until Jared’s untying his shoes before asking, “Something wrong?”
Jared shrugs. He’s still a little pissed about Jensen not telling him about the Texas thing, but they barely know each other, and he doesn’t know if he should bring it up and possibly start a fight.
“It seemed to me like things went okay,” Jensen says. “But I don’t know your parents. Were they just too polite to let me know they hate me?”
Jared laughs a little. “Are you kidding? They loved you.” He waves a hand. “Or, you know, whoever that was they met.”
Jensen pauses in the middle of unbuckling his belt. “What?”
Jared shrugs and toes off his shoes and socks.
“Jared,” Jensen says, coming sit next to him on the bed. “Come on, if there’s a problem, you have to tell me.”
“It’s not a problem. It’s just - are you really from Dallas? The real you, not whatever character you’re playing here.”
Jensen looks confused. “Yeah, I grew up there. But, Jared - ”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me that?” Jared interrupts.
“I didn’t know it was important,” Jensen says, still looking baffled.
“Of course it is,” Jared says, suddenly angry. “How would it have looked if my parents asked me where you’re from, and I had absolutely no idea? What if my mom had asked me and you’d already told my dad the truth? And what if one of my other family members asks me something I don’t know about you? It’s going to be glaringly obvious that I know practically nothing about you!”
“Whoa, calm down,” Jensen says. “Jared, none of that has happened yet, and it’s not likely it will in the future. If someone asks you something about me, just lie.”
Jared blinks. “Lie?”
“Yeah. If someone mentions it to me later, I’ll back you up.”
Jared frowns. “But what if I say you have identical twin or genetically deformed toes or hemophilia or something?”
Jensen blinks. “Well, I hope you wouldn’t tell anyone that. But even if you did, there’s this little thing called acting - maybe you’ve heard of it? You can pretend to be anyone you want. Even if it’s a twelve-toed vampire.” He grins. “Or my evil twin, Justin.”
Jared smiles a little.
Jensen sighs. “Look, Jared, this whole thing - the wedding, your family, me being your boyfriend - it’s not about me. It’s about you. This is your world, and I’m just visiting. No one is going to be interested in me beyond my connection to you, and seriously, I think you paying me to be your escort is pretty much the last thing anyone will suspect. Even if you say I’m allergic to wheat as I’m stuffing a loaf of bread into my mouth, we can laugh it off. If you’re not tense about it, no one else will be.”
It makes a ridiculous amount of sense, just like the earlier pep talk did, and Jared finally relaxes. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it a big deal.”
“It’s fine,” Jensen says, patting him on the shoulder. “Being home after a while away is always stressful, and so is the whole meet-the-parents thing.”
Jared sighs. “Yeah.” He doesn’t mention that a good half of the stress is taken up by Chad. That’s not something he really wants to explain now. Or ever.
“Hey, I think there’s a Rocky movie on,” Jensen says, scooting over to his side of the bed. “Want to watch?”
Jared nods and settles back against his own pillows.
As he’s flipping through the channels, Jensen says, “By the way, if there’s something you really want to know about me, there’s one way to find out.”
Jared looks over. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says, mouth curling into a smile. “Ask.”
Jared ducks his head, but he’s grinning back. “Yeah, okay.”
* * *
To say Jared doesn’t sleep well that night is like saying jalapenos are a little spicy, or soap operas are a little cheesy. It turns out Jensen’s not really into pajamas, and once he slides under the covers in nothing but those black boxer-briefs, Jared realizes just how small a king-sized bed can be. They’re not touching anywhere, but he can feel it when Jensen shifts next to him, and the negative space between them feels like a broken line it would be easy to cross. Jared’s used to sleeping sprawled out, but he rolls onto his side and wraps his arms tight around himself, hoping to decrease his chances of accidentally brushing against Jensen or, God forbid, sleep-cuddling him. The new position makes it harder to drift, off, though, and even when he falls asleep, he jolts awake every time he or Jensen moves, frantically taking stock of all his limbs to make sure he’s not unconsciously doing anything inappropriate.
He manages to make it through the night without anything embarrassing happening, but he’s so exhausted after all the worrying that he sleeps through the first three rings of his phone, and it’s only Jensen nudging his shoulder that fully wakes him up.
He knocks the phone off the nightstand when he grabs for it, and bangs his shin when he nearly falls out of the bed, so his “Hello?” is not exactly friendly.
When a voice on the other end says, “Jared? Hey, it’s Chad,” his mood sinks so low it’s practically deep-sea diving.
“Uh, hi,” Jared says. “Chad. Hi.”
“Hi,” Chad echoes, smirk audible. “Did I wake you up or something?”
“Kind of,” Jared admits.
“Aw, man, I’m sorry. Guess you had a late night.”
“No, traveling always just - “
“Hey, Jared, you don’t have to lie to me,” Chad interrupts. “Jeff told me you’ve got a new girlfriend. Sounds like she’s keeping you busy.” He pauses, and Jared can imagine the leer on his face. “She hot?”
And right there, in barely five seconds of conversation, is when Jared realizes for the hundredth time what an ass Chad is. And Jesus, on a list of things he wants to discuss with his only ex-boyfriend, the hotness of his new girlfriend - well, boyfriend - well, fake boyfriend, whatever - is pretty close to dead last. “Dude, shut up,” Jared tells him.
“That sounds like a no,” Chad says gleefully. “Come on, Jared, you couldn’t find anyone as pretty as me?”
“I didn’t say - that’s not -“ Jared sighs. “Chad, is there a reason you’re calling me?”
“Oh, yeah. All of the groomsmen are getting together at your parents’ house today to iron out some last minute details, and since that includes you, I thought I should let you know.”
“Today?” Jared repeats, running a hand through his messy hair.
“Yeah, your mom promised to make us brunch,” Chad says. “And then we’re going to talk about boring wedding details, and then we’re going to ditch your brother and finalize our plans for the stag night. Since you haven’t been around, this is your chance to contribute to the total awesomeness that’s going to be his bachelor party.”
Oh, God. Jared can just imagine what Chad’s idea of an awesome bachelor party will be. Now he has to go, if only so some sanity is involved in the planning. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.”
“Great,” Chad says. “Oh, and bring your woman - maybe she can suggest some fun stuff for the party.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Jared says flatly. Even if he was going to subject Jensen to Chad, he doesn’t really think it’s a good idea to bring his hired escort to a planning session that will most likely involve hired strippers. Not that Jensen’s a stripper, or anything, but it just seems like a bad mix.
“Well, too bad,” Chad says, “Because Rachel specifically requested you bring her, because she wants to meet her and drag her on some bridesmaid dress-fitting thing. And no offense to your future sister-in-law, but she can be scary when she doesn’t get her way.”
Unfortunately, Chad’s not making that part up. Rachel’s a sweet girl, but she’s also kind of intense, and if she feels like she hasn’t had time to properly get to know Jared’s girlfriend before the wedding, she’ll be pissed. “That’s - look, we’ll see, okay?”
“Whatever,” Chad says, already bored. “See you at brunch, dude.”
“Yeah.”
Jared hangs up the phone, stares at his feet for a second, then flops down on the bed face-first and says, “Godfuckingdammit” into his pillow with feeling.
He can feel Jensen shifting next to him. “Jared? ‘Whasswrong?” he asks sleepily.
Jared just moans, burying his face further into the pillow.
Jensen’s hand comes down on his shoulder. “Hey, come on, you can’t smother yourself before the wedding. Your brother would never forgive you.”
Jared rolls over a little, just enough to take a breath. “Doesn’t matter, because I’ve already fucked this whole thing up.”
Jensen pulls back for a second, then pushes harder at Jared’s shoulder. Jared rolls over onto his back, and there’s Jensen, shirtless and wearing those wire frame glasses, looking at him in concern. “What are you talking about?”
Jared just sighs.
“Come on, help me out here,” Jensen cajoles. “Did something happen?”
“I’m just thinking this wasn’t such a good idea,” Jared says.
“’This’ meaning me?” Jensen asks slowly.
“Yeah. I mean, not you specifically, just- “ Jared sighs again. “That was my ex on the phone. And he wants me to go over there and plan my brother’s stag party, and I thought it would be okay, being around him again, but - I don’t know. And he told me my brother and fiancée are all excited to meet my new girlfriend, which.”
He looks up at Jensen. “No offense, but that whole conversation’s going to suck.” He turns his head back to stare at the ceiling. “And now you probably think I’m a loser who hired someone so his ex wouldn’t know how pathetic he is, which is actually exactly what I am.”
Jensen laughs.
It’s about the last thing Jared expects, and he turns to look at Jensen again, raising his eyebrows. Jensen shakes his head. “Sorry. It’s just - Jared, you aren’t a loser or pathetic. And if you didn’t notice, my job is being a trophy boyfriend. I’m really not in any position to be judging.”
He smiles, and Jared can’t help smiling back a little.
“As for the rest,” Jensen continues, “I’m just going to give you my honest opinion, all right?” He waits for Jared’s nod before going on. “Okay. You’re right, the whole ‘so, you know that girlfriend you assumed I had? Is actually this random guy’ conversation is going to suck. And hanging out with your ex is never easy, but, however clichéd, this is a good way to prove you’re over him and get closure.”
Which is actually why Jared hired Jensen in the first place. Interesting.
“And the way I see it, you’re going to have to have this conversation sooner or later,” Jensen goes on. “And I know it’s not fun, but it might be easier to do it with me. I’m not going to get offended if they don’t take it well, and you don’t have to worry if they like me, because I’m temporary. This way, when you want them to meet someone you really care about, it won’t be as hard.” He winks. “Plus, I promise to tell everyone how amazing you are in bed, so your ex is totally jealous.”
Jared laughs. “Well, he claims he’s not gay, so that part might not work. But thanks anyway.”
Jensen makes a face. “I’m still going to talk you up, but now I think I might kick his ass, too. This guy sounds like a total douche.”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Jared says. “Seriously, though, you don’t have to come. I know I have to talk to Jeff and Rachel, but you don’t have to be there for all the awkwardness.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Jensen says. “And if you were just some guy paying me to be arm candy, I probably wouldn’t go.”
“Um, I think I am some guy paying you to be arm candy,” Jared says, confused.
“But you’re also a nice person,” Jensen says. “And I like you. And I know this isn’t easy for you, so if I can help, I want to.”
“Dude, you’re the like the best $6,000 I’ve ever spent,” Jared says, then blushes. “Um. I mean, thank you.”
Jensen just laughs. “I’m cheaper than a therapist, that’s for sure. And the arm candy part is just an added extra.”
“Seriously,” Jared says, meeting Jensen’s gaze. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” Jensen says lightly, but there’s something intense behind his eyes that catches in Jared’s chest, and he’s suddenly hyperaware of their physical proximity, the fact that he’s on his back on a bed with a barely-clothed Jensen leaning over him, their faces only inches apart. He swallows, and Jensen’s eyes flicker down to his throat to follow the movement before he clears his throat and sits up, saying he’s going to take a shower.
Jared watches him go, then stares at the ceiling and wonders what just happened.
* * *
Jared’s hoping they’ll at least get through the door before the awkward questions start flying, but luck’s against him. It’s Chad who throws the door open, and Chad who foregoes greeting Jared to demand, “Where’s your girlfriend?” closely followed by, “And who the fuck is that?”
Jared didn’t have a stock answer prepared, not one simple enough to give on a doorstep, but before he can say anything, Jensen steps forward, hand extended, and says, “Hi, I’m Jensen. Jared’s boyfriend,” with a bright smile.
Chad doesn’t shake his hand, but Jared thinks that might be because he’s having a stroke or apoplexy. Either way, he’s never seen Chad’s eyes so wide before in his life. He wonders for a second if they’re just going to stand on the doorstep all morning, but then Jeff’s head pops around the doorframe, and he says, “Hey, Jared!” He takes a second to take in the scene, eyes skipping over Chad’s tense frame and Jensen’s extended hand, and he frowns. “What’s - “
“Jeff, can I talk to you for a second?” Jared asks quickly. “Just you and Rachel?”
“Sure,” Jeff says, leaning back inside the house to call for his fiancée.
Chad, who seems to have recovered from his aneurysm, says, “Wait, what?” but Rachel, coming out behind Jeff, gives him a shove back toward the house. He still looks totally poleaxed, but he goes.
“What’s up?” Jeff asks, pulling Rachel in next to him.
“Um,” Jared says. He thought up a really nice way to ease into this conversation on the drive over, with a lot of complicated metaphors for gender preferences and euphemisms and politically correct terms, but he scraps it all for the simple and very, very clear. “So, you know that girlfriend you thought I was bringing?”
“Yeah,” Jeff says blankly. “What about -“ Then his eyes slide over to Jensen, who’s smiling faintly, and he says, “Oh. Oh.”
Rachel’s eyebrows nearly jump off her face, and she looks back and forth between Jared and Jensen at least half a dozen times before she stammers, “You - that’s - you’re - ?”
“Hi,” Jensen says. “I’m Jensen. It’s nice to meet you.”
There’s a beat where both Rachel and Jeff stare at Jensen, then they both start to talk, stuttering questions about why and when and who overlapping until they’re unintelligible.
Thankfully, Jared’s mom opens the door at that moment and calls, “Brunch is on the table!” She sees the four of them standing there, and says, “Oh, Jared, you’re here! And Jensen, nice to see you again.” She waves the spatula in her hand. “Well, don’t be too long out here, the food will get cold.”
When she closes the door again, Jeff turns to Jared and says, “Mom knows? And you couldn’t tell me?”
“She just met him last night,” Jared says, like that makes it any better.
Jensen coughs awkwardly, and Rachel says, “You know, I think I’m going to go in and help your mom with the food. Jensen, do you want to come with me?”
Jensen nods, but before he turns to go, he rubs a hand quickly up and down Jared’s back, ending with a comforting pat at his waist. Jeff’s eyes follow the gesture, but Jared doesn’t care. He needs every bit of comfort he can get at the moment.
He doesn’t know what to expect when he and Jeff are alone, but Jeff just crosses his arms over his chest, staring down at the concrete of the driveway. “How long?” he asks.
“How long have Jensen and I been dating?” Jared asks. “Or how long have I - “
“The first one,” Jeff cuts him off.
“Three months,” Jared says.
Jeff’s quiet for a long moment before he sighs. “Look, Jared, I don’t have a problem with this, okay? Megan told me that you - that in high school, there was - that you - “ he makes a frustrated gesture. “And I always thought you might, you know, want that again. I’m just - I really wish you would have told me sooner.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared says, and he means it. Avoiding the issue seemed like a nice, safe idea all the way out in L.A., but now he wishes he’d had the courage to say something in a call or an email. Not even about Jensen, but just about his preferences in general, because it’s not worth making his brother think Jared didn’t even trust him to know. “I didn’t really even know myself, until recently,” Jared admits. He doesn’t mention that his definition of ‘recent’ is more like ‘the last few years.’
“Okay,” Jeff says. “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, I’m just saying - you didn’t have to hide it from me. I get why you did, but.”
“Yeah,” Jared says quietly. “Sorry for springing this on you right before your wedding.”
“It’s fine. If that’s what you - if you’re happy, then I’m glad.”
Jared feels even more undeserving of all this understanding at that, knowing he’s lying about Jensen, but when he says, “Thanks,” he means it.
“Okay,” Jeff says again. “Well, we’d better get in there before Chad eats everything.”
* * *
Jared’s not exactly looking forward to lunch, because somehow Jeff’s quiet acceptance is harder to deal with than any freaking out he’d anticipated. Even Jeff yelling might have been better, because then Jared could have yelled back or gotten angry, but now he just feels like the world’s biggest jerk for lying and keeping secrets.
But then he turns to go inside, and realizes that he’s left Jensen in there with Chad and the other members of the wedding party, and panic sets in. Thinking before he speaks has never been one of Chad’s strong suits, and Jared doesn’t even want to contemplate what might come out now, after meeting Jensen.
But instead of awkward silence or even yelling, he finds the whole table cracking up, and one of Rachel’s bridesmaids is wiping tears from her eyes and begging Jensen, “Do it again!”
“Do what?” Jared asks, pulling out the empty chair next to Jensen.
“I was just doing my best impression of you,” Jensen says, tipping syrup onto his plate with a smirk.
“It looked just like you,” the bridesmaid - maybe Alyssa? - gushes. “That one look you get on the show, when you’re really pissed off at that other guy. You know, that face you make.”
Jensen tilts his head, flattening his mouth, and she shrieks with laughter. “That one!”
“I do not look like that,” Jared says indignantly, reaching for the heaping platter of pancakes in the middle of the table. “And I don’t make faces. I make manly expressions of disapproval.”
Jensen lifts the platter away before Jared can get any food, and when he scowls automatically in response, the whole table cracks up again.
“Oh, yeah, very manly,” Jensen says, grinning, but he forks four pancakes and a pile of bacon and sausages onto Jared’s plate, so Jared considers forgiving him.
“Here’s a face for you,” he says, taking the syrup bottle and dripping a frowny face on a pancake.
“You do realize that your mom is only one room away, right?” Jensen asks. “It would be so easy for me to tell on you for playing with your food right now.”
“I’ll tell her you were being mean to me,” Jared counters, sticking out his tongue.
“I think you both need a time-out,” Jeff says, but he’s smiling a little as he shakes his head. “Shut up and eat.”
* * *
Chad stays quiet through brunch, but when they all stack their plates near the sink and divide into boys and girls for planning purposes, he eyes Jensen, standing next to Jared, and asks Rachel, “Aren’t you taking Jared’s girlfriend along with you?”
She blushes, and it’s obvious she said something like that before she found out the girlfriend was not, in fact, a girl. “Chad,” she hisses.
“What?” he says. “You all can bond over men and pretty clothes or whatever.”
Jared tenses, but Jensen touches his arm before he can say anything. “Sure, I’ll come along,” he says easily. “As long as you ladies don’t mind a Y chromosome in the proceedings.”
“We’d love to have you, Jensen,” Rachel says immediately, still glaring at Chad. “You’ll probably have more fun with us, anyway, not planning some stupid party.”
Jensen pats Jared’s arm, then moves off with the girls. Jared waits until he’s out of the room, then turns to Chad. Jensen may have been okay with just letting it go, but Jared’s not. “What the fuck?” he asks.
“What?” Chad asks. “You bring home some pansy, you gotta expect I’m gonna make fun of him.”
“Some pansy?” Jared asks, incredulous. “That’s rich, coming from you.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You know what it means!”
Chad starts to reply, but Jeff steps between them. “Stop it, both of you,” he says firmly. “Jared, Mom’s going to need help with the dishes.”
It’s clear he wants a minute alone with Chad, probably to give him the tolerance talk and tell him to back off Jensen, but Jared still has a few things to say to Chad about his stupid macho act. It’s only Jeff saying, “Jared” again, and Chad rolling his eyes and turning away, that gets him to leave.
* * *
He cools off while he’s doing the dishes, his mom making soothing small talk as they scrub and rinse and dry. The motions are familiar and mindless, and Jared lets the rhythm of pots and pans under his hands lull him into calm. Chad’s a jerk, yeah, but he’s known that from the beginning, even before he got involved with him. He’s known that ever since he used to tag along behind Chad and Jeff, the annoying younger brother that Jeff didn’t have the heart to leave behind, and Chad would try to make him eat bugs or sand or crab apples. Once Chad even let Jared eat a handful of blackberries before pretending they were poisonous, and laughed at Jared’s sticky, juice-stained horror. In hindsight, Jared really shouldn’t have been surprised when Chad screwed him over.
Jeff comes through the kitchen, on his way out to do some errands, and pulls Jared aside to make him promise there won’t be any strippers at his bachelor party. “No naked women, and absolutely no one getting paid to be there except the bartender,” Jeff says firmly. “Okay? I already talked to the rest of the guys, but I wanted to be clear. Don’t let Chad get away with his usual crap.”
Jared swears he’ll do his best, and after that he figures he’d better get into the living room and stop whatever it is Chad’s planning.
Sure enough, the first thing on Chad’s agenda is an exotic dancer, and it takes Jared and the other groomsmen almost an hour to dissuade him. There’s one memorable moment when Chad, frustrated and annoyed, insinuates that Jared’s just being a wet blanket because he’s into dick now, and that he should really think about other people besides himself, but the other guys jump in before Jared can do anything, so Chad doesn’t get a pen jammed in his eye. Finally, after the other groomsmen tell Chad point-blank that they’ll fold him into a pretzel if he hires any women (and they’re Jeff’s old football buddies, so it’s not an empty threat), Chad gives in. He pouts for a long time, but Jared and the other guys work around him and get a party planned that promises to be entertaining as well as not likely to get anyone arrested. Chad does insist on some t-shirt for Jeff, something he found on the internet that’s like a bachelor party scavenger hunt, but it seems largely harmless, if completely lacking in class, so they let it go.
Chad finally relaxes after that, and as they’re taking care of final details like transportation and times, he unwinds enough to have an actual, civil conversation with Jared. When Jensen and the girls get back from their fitting, Chad’s in the middle of telling Jared a totally ridiculous story about something stupid Jeff did in college, and Jared’s about to die of laughter. “No way,” he wheezes.
“Fucking way,” Chad replies. “When I came in, he was tied to the futon, totally naked, and one eyebrow was just gone. He swears it never happened, but I totally took pictures.”
Jared cracks up.
“He never drank tequila again after that,” Chad says, shaking his head.
“That’s awesome,” Jared says, and that’s when Jensen comes over and sits on the arm of the couch next to him. Jared’s not sure why Jensen chose that particular place to sit - there’s an empty armchair and an ottoman, even if he and Chad are taking up most of the couch - but whatever. He grins up at Jensen. “Hey.”
“Hi. How’d the party planning go?” Jensen asks.
“Pretty good,” Jared says, elbowing Chad when he tries to disagree. “I think we’ll be okay. We should all survive, anyway.”
“Dude, stop being so lame,” Chad says. “It’s going to be totally awesome. Besides, it’s not really a party until the cops are called, anyway.”
“Right, because what every guy needs right before his wedding is to be arrested,” Jared says.
“Jeff’s not going to get arrested,” Chad says, rolling his eyes. “He knows how to run.”
“You’re completely insane,” Jared tells Chad. “I just hope you realize, at some point, how amazing it is that you’ve survived this long.”
“I’m tenacious,” Chad says proudly.
Jared can’t help but laugh at that. “You’re something, all right.”
Jensen shifts next to him, leg pressing against Jared’s. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he says. “It can’t be any worse than that time with you and the Jäger.”
Jared’s heard a lot of stories about things he’s done while drunk that he doesn’t remember, but this is a whole kind of forgetting, where he knows it never happened at all. Jensen’s looking at him expectantly, though, so he has to say something. “Uh. At least there weren’t any police involved?” he ad-libs.
“No, but I had to practically carry your drunk ass for twelve blocks,” Jensen replies. “And the whole time you kept trying to remember what those little flying insects are called.” His voice shifts into a weirdly accurate drunk-Jared impression, all slow drawl. “You know, those things that are always flyin’ around.”
“Uh, flies?” Chad supplies.
“That would be it,” Jensen says. “He wanted to nominate me for a Nobel Prize for pointing that out.”
“Shut up,” Jared says. He’s totally going to make up a story about Jensen being a lightweight in retaliation, just because there’s no way Jensen can deny it, but then Jensen slides a hand along his shoulder, thumb brushing his neck, and Jared’s whole train of thought goes sailing off the tracks. “Uh. You - you’re - shut up.”
Jensen just grins, rubbing his thumb along the sensitive skin just under Jared’s collar. Chad launches into another story about Jeff, but Jensen keeps his hand on Jared’s neck, running fingers through his hair just above his collar and rubbing circles in the hollow beneath his ear, and Jared hears maybe two or three words. He absorbs even less, because Jensen’s hands on him are making his skin tingle in a way that makes it hard to think about anything but the way he’s quickly getting hard in his jeans.
Unfortunately, this is the one time in his life that Chad chooses to be observant, and after Jared completely fails to respond to the punchline of the story, he makes a disgusted noise and leaves.
Jared turns to ask Jensen what the hell he’s doing, but Jensen takes the opportunity to move, settling next to Jared on the couch, and before he can say anything, the rest of the girls are coming in from the kitchen, and Rachel’s trying to round them all up to talk about the rehearsal dinner.
Jensen keeps his hands to himself when the entire wedding party’s in the room, making Jared wonder what could have inspired the earlier petting, but then it starts again - Jensen’s thigh pressed tight against his, a hand at the small of his back when they’re in the kitchen, a tug on his belt loop when Jensen wants his attention - and halfway through the afternoon, Jared finally figures it out. Because it’s only when Chad tells an embarrassing story about Jared as a kid that Jensen lets his hand rest innocuously against the inside of Jared’s thigh, and it’s only when Chad hands Jared another beer that Jensen, in the midst of a completely different conversation, reaches over and steals the bottle for a casual sip, fingers sliding blatantly against Jared’s.
He’s all but spelling it out, mine written in every possessive move, and when Jared finally gets a second, he leans down and hisses, “What are you doing?”
Jensen’s smile doesn’t slip for a second. “My job,” he says curtly, reaching behind him to pull Jared’s arm across his back. When Jared looks up, Chad’s watching them across the room, taking in Jared’s hand spread across Jensen’s hip.
Jared doesn’t have a chance to respond, after that - his mom puts everyone to work getting the house ready for tomorrow’s big family barbecue, and then there’s a big fried chicken dinner as a reward - but he’s kind of pissed off. Chad might be his ex-boyfriend, in a loose sense of the word (Jared’s not sure if you can even count it as a relationship when no one else actually knew about it), but he’s clearly not interested in Jared anymore, and there’s no need for Jensen to act like Jared’s going to stray if Jensen doesn’t keep a hand on him at all times.
It doesn’t help that, thanks to Jensen’s hands all over him, Jared’s spent half the night either turned on or trying not to be. His usual remedy is picturing a corpse he saw on CSI once that had maggots crawling out of its eyes, and while it works wonders, he’s also kind of nauseated after revisiting it about fifty times. He’s not used to someone touching him and knowing that he can’t touch back, and the frustration, combined with the stress of being around Chad again, makes Jared pretty damn irritable.
He tries not to let it show, not around friends and family, but when he and Jensen are alone on the ride back to the hotel, he stops pretending everything’s okay. Jensen catches on pretty quickly when his attempts at conversation are met with silence or short, one-word answers, and the rest of the ride is mostly silent. Jared knows the sensible, mature thing to do here would be to talk about this with Jensen, but he really just wants to go to bed and forget about the whole day, and anyway, sensible and mature have never exactly been Jared’s strong points.
But when they get back to their room, Jensen tries one more time. “Hey. Jared.”
Jared keep his back to Jensen, sitting on the bed to untie his shoes. “What.”
“Look, I know you’re pissed at me. I’m sorry, okay? I thought that was what wanted me to do.”
“What, grope me all the time?” Jared replies without thinking. Then he wants to smack himself with his shoe. Or maybe shove it in his mouth to prevent him from saying stupid things like that in the future.
Jensen laughs a little, but it’s not a happy sound. “Yeah. I, uh - I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, or anything. It was just, you - and then Chad - “ He laughs again. “Never mind. I’m sorry.”
And now Jared feels like a jerk, because Jensen shouldn’t be apologizing to him. Jared did say he wanted Chad to know he was over him, and Jensen was just trying to help him. But he’s tired and frustrated and irritable and there’s no way he can explain what his problem is right now. “Don’t - it’s fine,” Jared says, getting up from the bed. “Can we just not talk about it right now?”
Jensen looks up from his bag, which he’s got open on one of the chairs. He looks at Jared for a long second, probably taking in the tension Jared can feel in every limb, then nods.
“Okay,” Jared says. “Great.” He makes a split-second decision, grabbing a pair of boxers from his duffel bag, and heads for the bathroom.
He’s been on edge all day, and right now the best thing he can think of to do is just to relieve a little tension the old-fashioned way. He’ll feel better afterwards, and then he can go to bed and actually sleep instead of worrying that he’s going to wake up humping Jensen’s leg or something equally embarrassing. He strips off his clothes quickly, turning the shower as hot as it’ll go, then climbs in.
It’s just a stupid physical reaction to being touched, that’s all. No one can realistically be expected to sit through a day of being grabbed and petted and fucking stroked and be unaffected. And okay, Jensen didn’t actually grope him - he touched Jared way more than he should have, but none of it was exactly inappropriate - but still. Stroking your fingers through the hair at the back of someone’s neck or rubbing your thumb on the inside of their thigh is practically guaranteed to get them hot. Well, okay, some of Jared’s girlfriends have done that to him before, and it wasn’t a big deal. Whatever. Clearly, his skin has gotten more sensitive since then.
It really must have, because just thinking about Jensen’s hands on him like that is getting him hard ridiculously fast, and the first time he reaches down and wraps a hand around his dick, just that touch sends white-hot sparks along his skin.
But this isn’t about Jensen. It’s just one of those biological reactions, programmed in so deep it’s impossible to avoid, and if he just gets himself off, he can forget all about it.
And that works, for a while. Jared lets the hot water rush over him as he revisits his favorite jerk-off fantasies, and he settles into a steady rhythm, one hand stroking his cock and one roaming over his chest. There’s a bar of soap on the ledge, the complimentary stuff the hotel provides, and when he lathers up his hands, everything gets slipperier and better. But just when he’s really getting into it, swiping his thumb across the head and letting the fingers of his other hand slip down behind his balls to tease the sensitive skin there, Jensen pops into his head again.
It makes no sense - one minute he’s in the middle of reliving the best blowjob he’s ever gotten, from some guy in a club back in L.A., and then all of a sudden, there’s Jensen, with those ridiculously sexy black boxers and miles of pale, perfect skin, hands on his hips and quirking an eyebrow.
Jared’s cock twitches in his hand, and before he can even blink, he’s back to the blowjob fantasy - except instead of some random guy on his knees in front of Jared, now it’s Jensen. It’s Jensen who’s sliding Jared’s cock down his throat, Jensen whose cheeks hollow as he sucks, hard, Jensen who’s looking up at him, eyes dark with want. Jared can feel it perfectly, Jensen’s tongue and lips slipping over the head of his cock, Jensen’s fingers circling his entrance, one pushing inside, and oh, God, it’s too much. Jared feels like he’s burning up, skin sparking with heat, and the sensations from his hands, combined with the scene behind his eyelids, have him coming so hard he sees stars.
For a second, he thinks he might actually have died, or had a stroke. His heart’s going a million miles an hour, none of his limbs will move, and it feels like there isn’t enough air in the steam-filled room. But after a few minutes slumped against the cool tile of the shower wall, Jared comes down enough to realize that he’s still very much alive. He has to be, because dead people don’t feel guilty about having the best orgasm of their life while fantasizing about their hired escort.
Because the thing is, Jared likes denial. It works for him. If he can tell himself that something’s okay - like, say, a two-year string of one-night stands with random guys, or getting turned on by someone feeling him up - then, even if he knows deep down that it’s not all right, he can ignore that pesky deep-down voice and coast right along. But when something comes along and magnifies that deep-down voice - like, say, a searing hot shower jerk-off fantasy that makes it pretty clear he’s more interested in who it is that’s feeling him up, rather than just the feeling-up - then he has to actually listen to that tiny, logical voice and admit he’s wrong. It also usually involves some self-analysis, which Jared is not a fan of, and sometimes some disappointing epiphanies. It’s really not fun.
And it’s especially not fun to realize that you’ve got a great big honking crush on the guy you’re currently paying to be your pretend-boyfriend, especially when you have to go spend the night in the same bed as said guy and hope like hell he didn’t just hear you jerking off to an X-rated fantasy about him. It’s pretty damn awkward, actually.
Jared’s finally got some feeling back in his arms and legs, so he sighs and starts cleaning himself up. When he comes out of the bathroom, flushed and feeling more than a little guilty, the lights are off and Jensen’s already in bed. He’s not asleep -even in the meager light from the bathroom, Jared can see that Jensen’s back is way too tense - and it makes Jared feel like a jerk and pervert and general failure of a human being.
There’s nothing he can do at the moment, though - his brain is still too fried for a coherent conversation, and he has no idea what he’d say, anyway - so he just throws on a t-shirt and climbs into bed, listening to Jensen’s breathing as he drifts off to sleep, hoping things will look better in the morning.
* * *
Part Three