I hate empty words like "hello" oops I'm super rude

[belenen]

icon: "ewwwww (a photo of me making a disgruntled/disgusted face)"I hate it when people say 'hi' to me. It does not convey any meaning except 'pay attention to me now' and you're not even explaining WHY you want my attention. I hear 'hello' either as meaningless noise or as an irritating demand. Just go ahead and talk

Comments

[sabr]

I don't mind the pleasantries, but I also dont really see it as rude if you walked up to me and said "I need to drop papers off for so and so" without any other conversation.

I don't see hello and other civilities as pointless. To me, they lay the foundation for conversation, allowing a starting point for tone, personality, mood, etc to help direct further conversation. Therefor, if there won't be much of further conversation, I don't find them to be necessary.

I feel like hello is an invitation to talk, invitation to discuss. It is the other parties reaction and answers that help the initiating party discern how receptive they are.

[kiwi]

I think this sums up my feelings (quite nicely!) as well.

[belenen]

that is excellent that you don't see it as rude, makes me feel a little better that maybe I didn't always come across badly when I did this before.

I'm glad to get all this feedback so I can realize that greetings are important to others and I need to take that into account!

[wantedonvoyage]

It's funny; I agree the words are meaningless but some days just being acknowledged by someone makes a huge difference in my outlook. Some people are clearly going through the motions and not even listening to your response, as you said, but then sometimes you encounter a person who makes you feel like their transaction with you made their day.

Also, I feel like the admittedly disposable "hello" serves the same purpose in person as on the phone where it originated: you have to make sure you have a clear line of communication or else the important bit that comes next may be lost.

[belenen]

I realized that I have my own version of "hi" which is eye contact and a nod and/or smile. I do value acknowledging people, just have a different connotation for verbal greetings.

[zimtkeks]

I think there are two reasons I greet people before I say anything else:
a) It's a traditional way of showing respect, kind of like saying "please" when asking for something.
b) It makes the other person aware of the fact that I'd like to talk to them, so they'll usually pay more attention to what I have to say. (If I just started with whatever is on my mind, the beginning might geht lost.)
For these reasons I want others to greeat me before they talk about other things to me, too.
I absolutely don't like dishonesty, though. I won't ask people how they are id I don't want to know, and I don't lie to them when they ask me. (I adjust how much of the truth I tell them, however.)

[belenen]

*nods* that makes sense! I appreciate the feedback.

[ragnarok_08]

I'm not a fan of those either - to me, it feels like just filler before the real conversation even begins, but sometimes it can't be avoided.

[belenen]

yesss that is how I feel!

[plicease]

The practical aspect of saying hello is that people don't think you are rude. Regardless of if you are or not. It not matter in the immediate, since you assume that you will never have to interact with them again, but you might.

[belenen]

*nods* yeah, I honestly didn't even think of it as rude at all, but have now realized this may be part of why people find me scary or off-putting.