Topaz & I started a 21-day relationship break / relative cost of meeting strangers / social ventures

[belenen]

icon: "progressing (a deeply, vividly green forest of thick vines and trees, with a tunnel running through where unused train tracks lay)"It's 5 days into my relationship break with Topaz (I friends-locked my post about the reasons and such because it's a raw topic for them). I'm sad but I know it's the right idea. I just haven't been doing things

Comments

[belenen]

awww, that means a lot! I know how much work that might be. <3

[cactus_rs]

I don't know if this makes any difference or not but I would totally come to one of your crafty parties!! I do love a good pub crawl into oblivion, admittedly (which makes me a black sheep among introverts), but I love low-key craft parties just as much. It's a very good way to socialize at all levels of intimacy. (This is also why I like NaNoWriMo write-ins.)

[belenen]

Omg, that would be awesome! You actually live near me if i remember correctly. If you add me on facebook (facebook.com/belenen) then i will send you invitations!

[cactus_rs]

Sadly, I don't. :( I'm in Stockholm. But I would if I could....!

[belenen]

sorry, my memory glitched! I don't know why I thought you were in Georgia!

I feel like

[the_hag]

this is a deeply nuanced situation, I admire the honesty with which you communicate about what is happening. I've rarely seen this when problems arise in relationships. It's very refreshing and moving.

I hope that you are both able to get through this in a way that benefits you both and helps strengthen your relationship with one another. :-)

I am intrigued by the idea of a crafting party, that does sound like a lot of fun. I'll have to look into your previous posting history and see how those work. Maybe I'll have to look at doing something like that when I'm finally feeling social again!

Thank you for sharing and my best hopes and wishes are with you.

A.

Re: I feel like

[belenen]

thank you so much <3

For me, a crafty party is just me inviting people to my house to use my art/craft supplies (or bring their own) so we can all be nourished by each others' creative energy. Nothin fancy! It helps me with motivation, and it helps me to not be so intimidated by "the blank page" as it were.

[meepalicious]

A crafty party sounds like such a great get-together! Like, a good space for interaction, but in a chill, introvert-friendly way. If I were closer than the other side of the planet, I'd love to go!

[belenen]

It helps me a lot! I have trouble motivating to do arts and crafts alone but I can easily do that when others are doing it too. And it is a relatively low-stress kind of social because it's perfectly fine if I hyperfocus and don't actually interact.

[storminmay]

partly because time with Topaz takes less effort and gives more reward than most other situations
^I so so so so so relate to this in my current relationship, though instead of a break, we opted for an open relationship. Still, I totally get where you're coming from with this and think you're handling it so well.

As others have mentioned, a crafty party sounds really fun! :D

[belenen]

*nodnod* We were already in an open relationship, actually, it's just a lot of work to find new people who I click with! Topaz lucked into a great connection immediately upon deciding to try practicing polyamory. I've been sort of halfheartedly looking for about 2 years now (halfhearted because it is a lot of work and gets depressing very quickly: there are not many people I am compatible with). I have had some good luck finding new friends lately so I'm feeling more hopeful on that front *smiles*