an open letter to anyone who uses the words 'attractive' or 'ugly' like they have objective meaning

[belenen]

icon: "bodylove -- heart my belly (my bare, stretch-marked belly with my hands making a heart shape in front of it. There is an overlay of blue and violet radiating out from my navel)"
(This is modified from something I wrote to someone who says negative things about their looks -- but it applies even if you only do the 'positive' side of calling

Comments

[belenen]

*beams*

[ragnarok_08]

Yes to all of this!!!

[belenen]

*big grin*

"all rating are evil"

[bobby1933]

(or at least without roots in reality)

Tao Te Ching. chapter 2)

Re: "all rating are evil"

[belenen]

cool! I have yet to read that but it is on my list! and I bought a used copy recently.

[sammason]

I agree. 'Beauty' is a product of time and place. Eg if Lillie Langtry were alive now, she might not succeed as a Professional Beauty. A wider view shows even more people who'd be called 'ugly' in our time and place, but who are v attractive in their own context.

[belenen]

exactly! it's all made up, which means we can re-make it!

[cactus_rs]

If you judge everyone as more attractive than you or not, I have a really hard time believing that you don't judge me.

Yeah, exactly. I respect people's momentary need for feelings-venting ("I feel so $whatever") but when it's an on-going thing about oh just a few more pounds or gosh I've lost so much weight I love it, I know that I'm no longer entirely safe around them. Not through any fault of their own---breaking free of a lifetime of propaganda is kind of hard---but still. That's just how fucking insidious it all is.

[belenen]

*nodnod* I am always torn about responding, because I understand the feeling, but the action is still a damaging one! Usually in the moment I try to just talk back with how I notice their beauty.