rant: I hate the idea of 'honeymoon phase' or NRE / start with reality rather than fantasy / IFE

[belenen]

icon: "voltaic (me, face at a sharp angle staring out of one eye with a slight smile and streaks of rainbow light on my face)"I LOATHE the idea of a 'honeymoon phase' or 'new relationship energy' (NRE). I hate it like I hate the idea of men being less emotional than women (which, in case you didn't know, is empirically untrue). It implies a lie.

Comments

[meteorology]

This was so interesting to read. I have to say it's not something I'd given much thought to before, but even so, I see people talking about the 'honeymoon phase' a lot so it's nice to see a different perspective.

[belenen]

glad you enjoyed!

[soundofsunlight]

I really like this post

[belenen]

I already have a tendency to hyperfocus, and don't experience a decline in my level of focus (unless I'm tired or not feeling well).

YESSSSS. I think this is part of the reason I tend to be so drawn to other ADD people like myself, because hyperfocus is such a boon for intimacy.

[ellie_nor]

I really don't like the phrase "NRE", because all it is is brain chemistry. It's the limmerance period, which can last from 2 weeks to 2 years, when our brains are flooded with feel-good chemicals which make bonding easy and pleasurable. After that, love and intimacy becomes a *choice*, and if people aren't creating opportunities for it, that's on them.

[chillychilly22]

Yes, I loved novelty when I was younger and was aware enough to let those I dated know I wasn't looking for something intense from the get... but the message often translated into "let's be friends with benefits" Dah! Not what I meant.