Visiting biofamily and Anika: prompting family to grow, having deep talks w Anika & energy work

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (a sparkly green dragonfly standing next to its just-shed previous skin)"Yesterday I went on a walk in nature with P and we talked a lot about their relationship with M. As usual I was revolted by the presence of sexist norms and unethical treatment of each other, M taking advantage of P when they can and P doing it because M did it

Comments

[lilywolfsolomon]

Wow, noticing and appreciating your awareness of all sorts of things here and your nudges to try various things with biofamily and with Anika! I'm really excited about your realization with Anika, I love that moment of recognizing, oh, there are these walls up, and knowing what might be done to take them down. I also get perplexed and thrown off when I can't energetically feel affection, but recognizing there are walls up and actively working to break those down is wonderful. It just takes a bit of conscious work to get things flowing sometimes and when someone is willing to do that its wonderful. I find for me it's also a bit harder when I don't see someone very often.

[belenen]

<3 <3! thanks for the joy-empathy!

[con_grazia]

I hope it's okay to ask you this question because it's been confusing me for a while. I'm pretty sure you'll let me know if it's not okay. ;)

A few months back I noticed that you were not using certain descriptive pronouns like zir or ze anymore and had switched to the plural they. I thought you were talking about more than one person until it became clearer in another post that you were indeed talking about one person.

It is okay to ask why the switch? I even went back and read posts from that time to see if you explained it but couldn't find anything. I wonder if I am the only one who's confused? Sometimes I actually can't tell if it's more than one person. It's your descriptive and not mine, so I'm sure you don't care if I can't tell but I was just wondering.

Thanks!

[midwinter]

Hey - just wanted to drop in to say that I think if Belenen continues to use singular they for everyone, it will eventually become easier for you. I don't use gender-neutral pronouns for everyone like Belenen, but at least half (if not more) of my close friends use singular they these days. It's been about four years since my first friend started using 'they', and it now feels very natural to me, like it's always been part of my vocab. It was difficult for me at first to understand if multiple people were being referred to, but now my brain seems to process use of the pronoun completely differently - it seems to use other cues to figure out who is being referred to.

[belenen]

thanks <3

[con_grazia]

Thanks. :)

[webgirluk]

I like your wording of a biofamily as opposed to I guess a socially constructed one that I strive to form as well. Too many of my posts probably surround that :p Feel free to dip in and have a read :-)

[belenen]

yesss exactly. My biofamily hasn't been my 'family' since I was like 8 years old.

[midwinter]

I have never given or received energy with friends, only a few times with bodyworkers. Once I am more familiar with it I'm interested in trying, your descriptions of the practice are very attractive. :)

That is really heartening that your bioparents are open to the new compassion exercise. It sounds valuable, I hope they're able to do it. I also wish my parents (mostly my dad towards my mom) would work on respect, because I doubt they'll ever split up.

[belenen]

I would love to know about your experiences when you try energy work with friends!

I really hope my parents followed through, but it's such an old habit I feel like they'd need a babysitter for three weeks to actually do it.

[lookbookstoreco]

Love to follow you hehehe