Visiting biofamily and Anika: prompting family to grow, having deep talks w Anika & energy work

[belenen]

icon: "exuviate (a sparkly green dragonfly standing next to its just-shed previous skin)"Yesterday I went on a walk in nature with P and we talked a lot about their relationship with M. As usual I was revolted by the presence of sexist norms and unethical treatment of each other, M taking advantage of P when they can and P doing it because M did it

Comments

[con_grazia]

I hope it's okay to ask you this question because it's been confusing me for a while. I'm pretty sure you'll let me know if it's not okay. ;)

A few months back I noticed that you were not using certain descriptive pronouns like zir or ze anymore and had switched to the plural they. I thought you were talking about more than one person until it became clearer in another post that you were indeed talking about one person.

It is okay to ask why the switch? I even went back and read posts from that time to see if you explained it but couldn't find anything. I wonder if I am the only one who's confused? Sometimes I actually can't tell if it's more than one person. It's your descriptive and not mine, so I'm sure you don't care if I can't tell but I was just wondering.

Thanks!

[midwinter]

Hey - just wanted to drop in to say that I think if Belenen continues to use singular they for everyone, it will eventually become easier for you. I don't use gender-neutral pronouns for everyone like Belenen, but at least half (if not more) of my close friends use singular they these days. It's been about four years since my first friend started using 'they', and it now feels very natural to me, like it's always been part of my vocab. It was difficult for me at first to understand if multiple people were being referred to, but now my brain seems to process use of the pronoun completely differently - it seems to use other cues to figure out who is being referred to.

[belenen]

thanks <3

[con_grazia]

Thanks. :)

[belenen]

it's totally okay to ask me any questions ever :D

I made the switch for several reasons. One is even though ze/zir does not refer to a gender and is thus a term for any person, it is taken as meaning "something other than he or she" and I have to acknowledge the common perception even though it's inaccurate. So I use they/them because that is actually taken as gender-neutral. There is also the fact that I am not the clearest enunciator, and people sometimes hear my "zir" as her and my "ze" as he. That doesn't work either! And lastly and most importantly, they/them is inclusive of people who are bigender or multigender and plurals (people who are multiple systems, multiple people living in the same body. FAQ). So, overall I switched to 'they' to communicate more accurately and to be more inclusive. I've been meaning to make a post about this so thanks for the question!

[con_grazia]

I've been out of town and just saw this. Thanks for clarifying!