belonging: being part of a unit

[belenen]

A lot of the people I know consider their family a unit they are part of, even if they hate it. I don't think you can understand what it's like to not belong unless you haven't had that feeling (or haven't had it since before kindergarten). A dysfunctional unit is still a unit

Comments

[hardigrin]

*hugsandloveandhugsandlove*

Some of the hugs are just for the feeling you expressed in the cut, of being worried that people are tired of hearing about this.

I can only speak authoritatively for myself, but for me that's not true at all at all at all. This is something big and intense and close to your heart and I love and am touched by you doing the work to share it with us. <3 <3 <3

[hardigrin]

This is also why I don't comment that often-- you make me think too much, so it feels like to say what I have to say I basically have to write an essay. :P <3

[belenen]

well, I like it! I don't expect it so don't feel bad if you don't have the time/energy for a long response, but just know that if you do I will be happy :D

[belenen]

I really want to address that, but I don't know how except by explaining my experience

that is my ideal kind of comment, please never hesitate to do so!

Your explanation of group connection is a thing that I do not like at all or want, it made it easier to explain the thing that I do like and want, which is what you describe as heartweb <3 <3

I also didn't feel tribe with you until we started connecting on a deeper one-to-one level. I am happy happy happy that we have/are. Fostering individual connections and sharing time all together are exactly the things I want ;-)

so yay yay and thanks so much for exploring this here for me to engage with. *HUGS*

[belenen]

Yeah I always (since 6) felt like the parent to my mom and the servant to my dad, so there just wasn't any parent feeling. On the not-allowed-boundaries, that certainly would make it extremely difficult to separate! I feel kind of lucky in some ways that my parents never parented me because I don't have to deal with the guilt/obligation/etc that a lot of other people have to process out of.

I feel you on being the glue and afraid to fall apart. Does Matt hang out with Suzu one on one often?

[raidingparty]

I keep finding things here and there... when my sister broke up with her ex-boyfriend, "his" business fell apart. In part, because it was built on her back, never mind that she had her own business and school to finish...