Last night I brought up the idea to Topaz of having our parents meet and ze seemed hesitant about it. This upset me because it brought up feelings of invalidation. If we were engaged and one of us was assigned male, our parents would want to meet and expect to build a relationship because of the assumption that the kin of kin is important. But the
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I don't know Topaz except through your writing; same for Topaz's family, so I can't state their motivations perfectly. But on 03JAN, you wrote this: I spent so many years wanting to feel included and seen, and though I certainly got that from my tribe, I never got it from 'family' but Topaz' family treats me like I belong. The biggest thing was that it felt genuine, not just a 'well you're here so we gotta get you something so it doesn't seem like a snub.' They acted like it was no big deal and I think to them it really wasn't, they just included me without thinking hard about it, but it was a big damn deal to me. I wrote them a card and sent it in the mail.Then there are these: ... )
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I wasn't upset with Topaz though, just with the situation.
thanks for the hug and good vibes *hugs back*
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I'm also wondering how valid a unit is if they would fall apart and "cease to exist" without one person trying to hold everyone together?
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That is what I am saying is the difference between a unit and not-a-unit: if one person falling away can break it, it's not a unit.
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