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Whoa. kiwi January 11 2014, 00:31:54 UTC
I'm sitting here with my jaw in my lap.

Past: courage. I get the feeling you think you have used up all your courage getting to this point.

So, no surprise, I'm in the midst of a large career leap (a jump doesn't quite suit this...this is a leap) and I'm...beat. I'm spending my days studying for my boards and wondering if I'll even make it in this world. This is dead on. I keep wondering how I'm going to keep up the energy to face the next hurdle. And the one after that.

Present: past lives. I've never drawn this card before and feel unsure as to what it may mean. Looking at it I get a sense of conflict, a pressure from past selves to do something. Maybe you're feeling stuck? Like you're on a path you can't change because of the momentum built up. Or because of expectations you had of yourself.It's the expectations I have of myself, I think. Like...I need to appease some version of me, perhaps the version that sacrificed everything to abruptly change everything that was wrong, including my career and my love life, and I'm ( ... )

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kmiotutsie January 11 2014, 15:29:29 UTC
I love love LOVE it!! Thank you so much for the reading and the insights, Bel!! <3

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ext_2369184 January 11 2014, 18:20:49 UTC
For past, ordinariness. I feel that in the past you've been profoundly alone, hiding your face. You surrounded yourself with beauty but it was always fragile and blew away with a puff of wind. You didn't see a way forward so you made do, you saw your surroundings as the whole of life.

This is very much the story of what my relationship with my ex-husband was, what I'm trying to break free of now that it's finally over. My safety was reliant upon hiding everything that was special about me, it's just the way an abusive dynamic works. Everything was about him, making him happy, being the perfect wife for him, even when it was distinctly at my expense, when it meant giving up parts of me to better fit his ideal.

Present: change. A whirl of forces you cannot control making impact on your life.

I do feel like everything's beyond my grip right now. I rather wish that wasn't the case, because I don't like being out of control.

i feel like ritual (especially spiritual ritual but it doesn't have to be) will be of great help to you, will ( ... )

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delicatexflower January 13 2014, 03:07:56 UTC

those cards are beautiful! i hope you will do more readings in the future :)

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