negotiating expectations is respectful / ending relationships is an important skill of love

[belenen]

In relationships, I consider the only appropriate unnegotiated expectation to be this: that the other person will not actively, deliberately hurt you. Everything else -- yes, EVERYTHING -- needs to be negotiated. We can't just expect that other people will be kind to us -- because we may define kindness by different actions than what another

Comments

[chillychilly22]

Yes! Yes! Yes! I've "ended" the majority of my romantic relationships without there being any glaring/obvious reasons, such as he cheated, we were abusive to one another, i found someone else, he couldn't stop lying, etc. I end things when I see it no longer serves me, when I notice a shift, a natural parting of ways. I call it letting go in love. The general response I get is "Oh, that's practically worse than being cheated on. He just wasn't good enough for you. Ouch."

*cue head spin*

I'm sorry if I actually respect myself and the other before I let it get to that point of deceitfulness.

However, it really seems to be the way many relationships operate. The mentality is to wear the relationship down to the ground until it's utterly annihilated.

Thank you for you post. :)