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Comments 17

burningmarl November 13 2009, 16:45:17 UTC
Thanks for adding me back. I used to follow you unofficially when I was a member of curvygirls before but I decided to do it properly, although I didn't expect you to add me back because I only ever ramble on about my day. I just enjoyed your posts before.

I think it's understandable that intense joy is scary, as intense other emotions are scary! orgasmic meditation sounds like a good way of working it out, as well as getting a therapist involved. I often use the orgasmic-meditation method to sort my head out, didn't know other people did too! lol

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frecklestars November 13 2009, 22:43:39 UTC
Even though you're chasing joy doesn't mean it's no longer scary to feel such a deep connection. I kind of think everyone is scared of being _that_ open, that maybe there's some weird something-akin-to-protective instinct built into humans to make them sometimes squirm at being so open with another person. Maybe this is too essentialist of an argument though ( ... )

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delicatexflower November 14 2009, 00:54:27 UTC

it's beautiful thing you are aware of yourself to this level. it's a blessing. some people don't even realize the things you do. it's pretty interesting what the mind does for protection. i honestly think you enjoy every ounce of happiness that life gives you. i hope you will be able to enjoy it to its fullest soon. have you spoke to justben about this, yet? maybe it is something you can work on... not just by yourself but together...when you are ready.

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rattsu November 14 2009, 19:46:15 UTC
This was really interesting. There truly is something terrible in letting go, especially if one has something swimming underneath ones feet, threatening to bite.

I really hope that you manage to find the courage to let go and face what you have buried! Good post.

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dawny_darko November 15 2009, 06:07:16 UTC
This shows a lot of courage. Thank you for sharing.

I work at creating as many positive memories as I can in that "state" to drown out the negative ones. It's difficult to create those new paths in your brain, the old ones are much easier and deeper and the new ones fade quickly if not tread frequently, but it can be done. Good luck.

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