Comments | belenen: falling into a pattern of listening/responding without speaking/initiating

belenen

falling into a pattern of listening/responding without speaking/initiating

Apr 15, 2009 23:58

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meliae, communication / words, ava, poetry

Comments 10

urban_ballerina April 17 2009, 01:39:36 UTC

hi, just stumbled across your journal. loving it. i hope you dont mind me adding you to my friends page.

i kinda know what you mean as i feel writing on here you get to get your point across. you can think about things and write them out right. like justifying yourself successfully or something. its more difficult in person.

that said i am a shocking listener, though, through reading other peoples words i am hugely attentive - just not so through any other means :P

smurfb1ue April 17 2009, 02:00:06 UTC

Part of what you're saying reminds me of how people ask "How are you?" as sort of the token greeting without really stopping to actually hear you. It often feels like the only acceptable (or expected) response is "Fine, thanks, how are you?" Maybe it's because we're always in a rush, ready to move on to the next thing, and we don't have (or perceive that we have) enough time to stop and really hear people. With livejournal, we can take for granted that those who are reading our words are actually listening, and if they don't want to then they just skip over them. That's just a thought though ( ... )

I understand what you're saying mtw128 April 17 2009, 03:08:27 UTC

Ah! The frustrations of the self-aware, high EQ folks! I once talked to a friend who later on admitted that she heard the words but not the meaning. I once went out with a girl who asked me how I knew all this stuff. People are often surprised that I am able to step up and go into "emotional supportive" mode.
You should definitely check out my blog post on listening:
http://blog.marcwong.me/2009/01/art-of-listening.html

shioneh April 17 2009, 22:59:03 UTC

*hears you*

I just wanted to let you know I'd read this and that I'm feeling you on what you wrote. When I read this, it really touched me and resonated with me. I guess I really empathize with what you wrote in my own way, obviously the situation is different but some of the sentences you used to describe how you were feeling I feel too. I feel sort of wordless about all of this because I'm working through it too but I'm full of empathy for you.

I am just really sorry you've been feeling this way *hugs you tight* feeling closed off and low of faith is so painful and I know that it's in such opposition to what you live for. I am really happy you wrote this entry, it seemed important and I'm wishing you clarity and faith in finding your voice ♥

Just so you know... fyrebard April 24 2009, 18:43:27 UTC

I am vastly interested in what you have to say, just so you know. Most of the time, it seems like you are perhaps being shy or something and feel uncomfortable starting conversation. A habit that was developed the last season of our friendship was that, when you were quiet (as in, looking as though you wanted to say something and then decided against it), I talked because I thought perhaps it would ease any discomfort you were having, real or imagined ( ... )