I had no idea you were 900, and to be honest....I thought I was a bit old myself. But I think a lot of us in this world, they want to return to their own worlds and are trying very hard to. I do not think I can return to my world, for I have finally passed on and made peace with myself, thus I was on my way to the afterlife. One who has done what I did, accepting their death and allowing themselves to let go of their physical state of mine, is something that only those on the brink of death can do.
(ooc: Because I love tagging you soo much, Doctor~♥)
My people are nearly immortal. We were. Living for such a long time... fine and dandy if you stayed on Gallifrey, but I couldn't. I couldn't, I had to go out and save... all those people. And so I made friends with people who lived just a fraction of that time.
And I've got nothing against the dead or the ones who haven't got much to go back to.
Being immortal while it seems like a golden opportunity, it also has a downside. Immortality for me in my era, seemed mere a dream. But it seems in the future, it is quite possible to obtain it.
I appreciate that, I am certainly in both of those categories. I am both dead and if I was given the chance to return to my world, I wouldn't have much to return to. Just the life I lead before, one where all my days are taken up writing music.
Doctor, I...I've really missed you and have feelings for you. I..I...I...love you...But seeing you so suddenly like I did, I didn't know where I stood. Where I still stand. I still miss him though, the other you. We never did get to say good bye...So maybe there's a reason for all this why you're here, why Jack's here.
I...I...slept with Jack once...here, don't really remember much of it, since it was an event...
I love you, Rose, more than I've loved in a long time. And I'm infatuated with you... you do have a way with men. But I'm not sure what I feel is something I could settle down over. I'm not sure at all, especially since I love so many others so much, in the same way. Jack, Romana... Others I left behind. Especially the Master. It wasn't a lie, we never did anything... but he was an equal, someone truly on par with me. Of course I loved him
( ... )
I...I know you could never really settle down with anyone, Doctor. It's not like you. I've known this for a very long time now. I've never wanted to have the settling down type of life. Well I did but that sort of changed after awhile. Not after everything that you've shown me. It was addicting and to have been without it for as long as I have been, it's been killing me.
He probably was, never said it though...Not enough time to before he faded for good on that beach...
You're not? I was. A bit. I remember that night, I danced with Jack on the rooftop by the Clock. That was such a dangerous and amazing night. I remember when we finally got to dance, just as I was about to dance with Jack again. You really had some moves.
I really don't remember that...Just singing and light waking back up with you in the TARDIS.
'Horizontal tango'? I do have some class, you know. But yeah, for lack of better words, ideally that's what I want. I mean, that's not the only thing I want. Not from you. Not from Rose either
( ... )
...You are a fact, and you are wrong, but I don't want to be right.
I shouldn't blame you for how much all of this hurts. And knowing that you did what you did for the right reasons makes it easier. Much easier. But I had to blame because I could never talk. How do you talk about the death of your first love when one, it's your fault, and two, they were evil? I mean, that's too simplistic. I'm not sure I would ever have danced with him but... he was special. So speceial. And now he's gone. And I'm angry at myself for letting it happen, even though I haven't yet.
And I was a "Love 'em and leave 'em type too." No dancing with me, but... I never did go back for Sarah Jane. I never went back for anyone. Leaving was so much easier than watching someone grow old. But you're never going to do that, with this place I wouldn't be surprised if Rose never did either.
But maybe this is a new opportunity for all of us, this event. To clear the air. To go back to how it was.
I can't help it! I don't blame anyone for what happened to me, but I hate that you're so open about how you feel about it. I know you don't like it, but it really does hurt when you just come out and say it.
You didn't let it happen, Doctor. You were pleading with him. He refused to regenerate. There was nothing you could do.
I've done the same thing with people before now... It's just so much easier to leave them behind than to have to watch them grow old whilst you stay young. It's not that I don't age. I do. It's just... really slow. In some ways I think that makes it worse. Even you have no idea what will happen if I just keep on aging, and never dying.
I think this event is just going to make things worse, to be honest. A lot of things people lie about with good reason.
When have I been open about how I feel about it since I've been here? I'd almost gotten over it. It's no different to me than a scar on your handsome face. It doesn't change who you are or how I feel about you, I just had to get used to it.
And only I could push him so far as to do that, Jack. We were... equals. The only one who could ever stop him was me.
And you... you understand. No one ever understands. No one else has ever been there...
And if the event just makes things worse, then I'll be more inclined to find a way to get you and Rose home. So either way, it works out. Either way I'll be sad, but at least you two might be happy.
More than being a "sheep", the issue is that I do things too different to heroes. My role is to push those to get the exits and solutions by themselves. My fate is not finding the way out. On the other hand, I can't give a little push for them to do it of I lack the vital information: who to push, how to push, when to push. That's how prophets work. It's all about timing for a prophet. And I did sit on my butt for over two centuries back home until the time was right: if that makes me a sheep, fine, I am.
[OOC: Sorry he's this rude D: Oh, and I apologize for not replying your question on that meme, I kind of went on hiatus and forgot to mention it D:]
I wasn't talking about you. I'm old and jaded too, remember? But you aren't always whining, "I wanna go home!" and never looking for it. I don't expect the whole world to rise up and try to fix the wrongs in it. Just the people who get so angry about them, or the people who let themselves be lead to the slaughter. You're none of that. Honestly, of all the new people I've spoken to here, I can think of one I've come to respect as much as you.
A lot of us are finding it hard to care. That's just it, isn't it? It's easier to be sheep. It's much, much easier to complain about nonsense instead of doing anything to find a way home.
Especially for those of us who don't even know if we want to go home. I should go, I know that. I should go back and die properly and make sure that everything happens the way it's supposed to. But I'm not sure I really want to.
I wasn't referring to you. I... I'm in the exact same situation. And I can bring myself to blame myself... but not you.
I don't expect the dead to want to leave. It's the living. The ones who run around all on abut how they miss home and never do anything. The one who try to discourage everyone from trying to leave because it's "a waste of time."
I don't often find myself caring what others think of me, but I would have to have lost your respect.
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(ooc: Because I love tagging you soo much, Doctor~♥)
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And I've got nothing against the dead or the ones who haven't got much to go back to.
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I appreciate that, I am certainly in both of those categories. I am both dead and if I was given the chance to return to my world, I wouldn't have much to return to. Just the life I lead before, one where all my days are taken up writing music.
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I...I...slept with Jack once...here, don't really remember much of it, since it was an event...
God...why can't I stop typing. Just, stop...
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He probably was, never said it though...Not enough time to before he faded for good on that beach...
You're not? I was. A bit. I remember that night, I danced with Jack on the rooftop by the Clock. That was such a dangerous and amazing night. I remember when we finally got to dance, just as I was about to dance with Jack again. You really had some moves.
I really don't remember that...Just singing and light waking back up with you in the TARDIS.
Oh God this is going to be so hard...
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You're fantastic.
No matter what happens, no matter how we feel... don't ever leave me. I don't want to be alone anymore...
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I shouldn't blame you for how much all of this hurts. And knowing that you did what you did for the right reasons makes it easier. Much easier. But I had to blame because I could never talk. How do you talk about the death of your first love when one, it's your fault, and two, they were evil? I mean, that's too simplistic. I'm not sure I would ever have danced with him but... he was special. So speceial. And now he's gone. And I'm angry at myself for letting it happen, even though I haven't yet.
And I was a "Love 'em and leave 'em type too." No dancing with me, but... I never did go back for Sarah Jane. I never went back for anyone. Leaving was so much easier than watching someone grow old. But you're never going to do that, with this place I wouldn't be surprised if Rose never did either.
But maybe this is a new opportunity for all of us, this event. To clear the air. To go back to how it was.
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You didn't let it happen, Doctor. You were pleading with him. He refused to regenerate. There was nothing you could do.
I've done the same thing with people before now... It's just so much easier to leave them behind than to have to watch them grow old whilst you stay young. It's not that I don't age. I do. It's just... really slow. In some ways I think that makes it worse. Even you have no idea what will happen if I just keep on aging, and never dying.
I think this event is just going to make things worse, to be honest. A lot of things people lie about with good reason.
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And only I could push him so far as to do that, Jack. We were... equals. The only one who could ever stop him was me.
And you... you understand. No one ever understands. No one else has ever been there...
And if the event just makes things worse, then I'll be more inclined to find a way to get you and Rose home. So either way, it works out. Either way I'll be sad, but at least you two might be happy.
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[OOC: Sorry he's this rude D: Oh, and I apologize for not replying your question on that meme, I kind of went on hiatus and forgot to mention it D:]
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Especially for those of us who don't even know if we want to go home. I should go, I know that. I should go back and die properly and make sure that everything happens the way it's supposed to. But I'm not sure I really want to.
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I don't expect the dead to want to leave. It's the living. The ones who run around all on abut how they miss home and never do anything. The one who try to discourage everyone from trying to leave because it's "a waste of time."
I don't often find myself caring what others think of me, but I would have to have lost your respect.
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You don't need to worry about losing my respect. There are very few people here that I respect as much as you. I am very glad to have met you.
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