(BotI - this broken world we choose)

Sep 28, 2009 22:41

Genre: Romance. Porn.
Warnings: M - explicit smut
Characters: Hyakurin/Rin
Notes: For 31_days: "this broken world we choose".

۞ )

character: hyakurin, fandom: boti, character: rin

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Comments 7

tl__dr September 29 2009, 08:30:54 UTC
GODDAMN SENRI

HOW IS YOUR HYAKURIN VOICE SO FRIGHTENINGLY PERFECT

/only a few lines in and dying with love already

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tl__dr September 29 2009, 12:34:02 UTC
How do you write like this. This starts out just fun, Hyakurin's narration is so infectious (I love her thinking of herself as "craven" when she rejoices over Manji's absence jfsdjf HYAKURIN YOU'RE ENTITLED TO A BIT OF CRAVENNESS EVERY NOW AND AGAIN), and I could feel the slow burn of the summer heat as I read it. (Not surprised you wrote this in Peru during the summer, I must say!) But the way it shifted into something moodier, deeper, something where Hyakurin goes from kind of brashly shit-talking the world to being all raw and exposed and aching for Rin's comfort...mmmm. AND THE IMAGERY IS WONDERFUL AND THE SMUT IS JUST. WHAT THE FUCK HOW DO YOU MAKE IT SO PRETTY BUT RAUNCHY, EXQUISITE BUT VISCERALLY HOT, AT THE SAME TIME. ahahah I bet I'm making no sense I'M GOING TO COME BACK TO THIS AND LEAVE YOU A SECOND REVIEW WHEN I'VE HAD MORE SLEEP ( ... )

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senri September 29 2009, 21:46:38 UTC
AHAHAHAAHAA I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THIS, BECAUSE I WAS REALLY, REALLY NERVOUS WITH IT, LMFAO. 8'D Like near the end kind of uncertain of Rin's characterization and all, and typing my stuff up just makes me hate it sometimes, HAHAA, but I'm so glad you enjoyed this enormous thing ♥ since it was really such fun and a pleasure to write.

I feel like near the end it sounds so unhealthy, Hyakurin sort of shifting all of these things on to Rin without Rin knowing, wanting her to help with dealing with them, which worries me a little, but I also hope that the end kind of implies that Hyakurin will be moving in a better direction in the future, actually trying to talk to her and all and... if you enjoyed it, it's the best response I could have asked for, really. ♥ Thank you so much, Epon!

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kaatsu October 3 2009, 16:57:14 UTC
Absolutely wonderful. ♥

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senri October 4 2009, 10:00:10 UTC
Kaaaaaaaatsuuuuuuuuuuuu ♥!

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hello_scorpling October 4 2009, 11:17:20 UTC
Yeah, okay, I don't even know what to say. This is too amazing for words! You've gotten into Hyakurin's head completely, every single sentence sounds like it's said by her, and just. AAAHHHH *___* I'm in love!

The imagery is gorgeous yet gritty in a very down-to-earth-sensual way, the way you show her struggling with dealing with her past and wanting to leave it behind but still not really, and Rin as both her total opposite and sister in despair at the same time makes this a layered read and believable take on what would be an incredibly complex relationship.

I applaud you, good sir, for spinning my world right around through fic.

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senri October 20 2009, 06:38:39 UTC
Thank you so much. ♥ I'm very glad you enjoyed this, as I sort of felt my way through writing it, and was unsure as I went how the end product would go over.

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