[Crackfic] A Rose By Any Other Name
Since I am heading towards finals, my brain is frantically trying to escape from what I actually ought to be doing. Thus, there is a large amount of crackfic being written. (I am getting the school stuff done. Just in bursts between crackfic and trawling the web.)
Title: A Rose By Any Other Name
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Zuko/Jee, Iroh, Ozai, Azula, Zhao, random firebender #3
Word Count: 1847
Summary: [Pux]: "Azula is now my son, Zuko my daughter. Have fun, kids." Zuko copes.
Author's Notes: Somedays, my inner Ozai is crazier than other days. This came about a few days after I let him change Ichiro's birthday by imperial fiat, so I think I was just enamored with using imperial fiat to change things that are normally unchangeable. Also, Zuko in a dress pleases me.
I used the Fire: Smoldering themeset from 7_chakras for this. (Man, I love their themesets.)
Special thanks to ravynfyre for the title.
---
this will go down in history
Ozai sipped his coffee for it was too black and bitter to be drunk in gulps. His children sat at either hand, sneaking glances at him when they thought he wouldn't notice. His brother sat at the foot of the table, quietly drinking jasmine tea.
The servants had set the table for a casual breakfast, three courses instead of the usual six. The current day in the festival cycle dictated simple food made from purely Fire Nation fare. Hot drinks, followed by spiced and fruited porridge (served with much honey and milk, for this was the royal table), and cold-cut meats to ready them for the day.
An auspicious day for this, for today was the end of winter by the temple calendars. The Fire Sages would argue with him quite enough about how they had not made any mistakes at all, but forcing the change on a day of changes would go more smoothly than otherwise.
Ozai set his coffee down. "I have determined that the Fire Sages miswrote your sexes, Zuko and Azula."
Both of his children stared at him, expressions going white, breakfast forgotten. Iroh merely looked pained, but he had already tried to argue Ozai out of his decision.
Zuko, surprisingly enough, was the one who managed to speak first. "-Father?"
"You are my daughter," Ozai said to Zuko, then turned his head to Azula, "And you are my son. This changes nothing of inheritance. We are Fire Nation, not Earth Kingdom, and the Right of the Firstborn does not care for the sex of the child."
Zuko nodded jerkily. Azula pouted.
"You will dress as befits a princess and prince of the Fire Nation." Ozai picked up his coffee again. "I expect dresses, Zuko."
Azula broke into giggles. Zuko looked as if he was considering throwing himself off a cliff in a fit of melodrama.
Iroh sighed.
***
i can't
"I can't do this, Uncle."
The princess's words were so soft, Jee knew he wasn't meant to hear them. He didn't sneak a glance over his shoulder as he led the two royals on a tour of the small vessel. He had more circumspection than that.
"You will be fine, Zuko," General Iroh answered his niece just as softly.
She'd been clinging to the old man since she came on board, nervous and irritable at anyone who looked at her for too long. She didn't seem to realize how hard it was not to look. With her porcelain-pale skin, smoke-dark plaited hair, golden eyes, and fine features, Princess Zuko was a beauty by any standard. Even the scar couldn't fully detract from that. The fine royal dress she wore, cut to fight in, only made her all the more eye-catching.
Jee had five sisters. He knew a thing or two about not looking. Besides, they'd be a long time at sea together. Searching for the Avatar was a royal's rite-of-passage, and it meant five-to-ten years of exile for the poor bastards unlucky enough to get assigned to it. Better to start out on the right foot with the princess than make her want to fireblast him.
Jee indicated a door as they approached. "Your cabin, Princess. The cook prepared a meal for you and the General. It should be on now."
"Thank you, Lieutenant," General Iroh said. "I am sure we could do both do with a filling meal."
Jee tried not to smile at the general's word-choice. "I hope you enjoy it."
He stood aside to let them pass. As she walked by, the princess's golden eyes flicked towards him, and he offered her a small smile. Pink blossomed on her porcelain cheeks, and she hurried past, skirts swishing tantalizingly against his legs.
Well. Jee decided not to make anything of that until he got a better measure of her.
***
no
Zuko is certain he's going mad. Month by month, day by day, every time someone calls him princess.
Sometimes he believes it. Sometimes he can go for days at a stretch being Princess Zuko without noticing. Noticing that he's not a princess, not Ozai's daughter. Even being naked isn't always enough to break it - he's bathed and gone about his day before as a princess, not realizing until later what he's done.
Then something will snap him back, and he shudders at the way his men call him princess, at the way they look at him but don't see him. He wants to yell and throw fire, run away and hide.
Except-
He'd tried to put the dresses away once. Tried to get out the armor Uncle Iroh had had made for him and wear it.
He'd tried so hard, but the idea of stepping out of his cabin in that armor, his hair pulled into a topknot rather than woven into plaits, terrified him. In the end, he'd buried the armor under his dresses, and he'd put on one of the most elaborate dresses he had. The one Mai had recommended he take.
Mai.
Zuko hopes Father will let him marry Mai, even though he's a daughter now instead of a son. Because Mai knows, Mai understands, and Mai doesn't care.
Maybe Father will make her a man.
Zuko hopes, when Father dies and he becomes the Firelord, he'll be able to say his father was wrong, he wasn't Ozai's daughter but Ozai's son.
***
shaking; trembling
Behind the boiler, Zuko couldn't decide if this was the worst day of his life or the best since the change. Jee pressed soft kisses to his mouth, one hand around his waist to hold him close, and the other slowly pushing up the sleeve of his dress. Zuko's breath came in soft gasps whenever Jee released him from a kiss, and he wanted so badly to respond to the lieutenant with the same passion Jee was giving to him.
But he couldn't! Jee thought he was a young woman, and Zuko couldn't bear to disillusion him. He couldn't bear the way Jee would surely look at him, the disgust the lieutenant would turn on him.
"We have to stop," Zuko gasped out the next time they broke a kiss.
"Hm?" Jee dipped to kiss the line of his jaw, sideburns brushing against Zuko's face. "Why?"
Zuko wriggled and tried to think unaroused thoughts. It didn't work very well, and he thanked Agni his hands were fisted in the material of Jee's clothes. Too, that this dress was thick to deal with the winter-cold. "P-please. We just do."
Jee sighed and pulled back, his hands on Zuko but still rather than constantly moving and lighting little fires underneath his skin. "Princess, if you are going to ask me to stop, then I have to ask you to stop flirting. You're being a damn tease."
Zuko flushed and looked away. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He was terrible at being a girl, he never had any idea when he was flirting or not. When he tried, it always felt awkward and flat, and when he didn't.... Well, when he didn't, he wound up in a dark, hot corner of his ship with his favorite lieutenant. "I- I don't know if I can do that."
"Princess..."
Zuko hunched his shoulders and stared at the floor. Jee's hands tightened on him, and Zuko tried very, very hard not to jerk his hips in response to that. "-I'm not a princess," he said very softly.
Jee didn't push him away.
Mustering up his courage, Zuko peeked at his lieutenant.
Jee was... smiling?
Zuko blinked, and then Jee leaned close and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Zuko blinked again, heat rising in him, and when they broke the kiss, he blew out smoke.
"I'd noticed that already," Jee said. "You're getting a little too old to not wear dresses with high collars."
***
shameless
Zuko knelt at one end of the arena, forcing herself to concentrate on her breathing. Her hair was in plaits, but her clothing was traditional for an Agni Kai. She could have worn a breastband, she thought. Then she wouldn't have to stand up completely bare-chested and male.
She closed her eyes.
"Remember your firebending basics, Princess Zuko. They are your greatest weapons," Uncle Iroh said.
Zuko opened his eyes and stood. "I refuse to let him win."
He turned, the vest slipping from his shoulders. His lips curved into a smirk, perfect mimicry of Azula at her worst, as Zhao visibly startled. To his credit, the captain rallied quickly, and there was no hesitation in his strikes.
That startlement, that acknowledgement, would warm Zuko for the rest of his life. Win or lose.
***
spontaneous combustion
They tumbled onto the berth together, Jee's hands roughly pulling down the top of Zuko's dress. Zuko fumbled at his lieutenant's belt as he tried to both get Jee out of his armor and make it easy for Jee to get him out of his dress.
His father would kill him and his uncle didn't really approve, but 'firebender' trumped 'merchant's son', and voyaging through south polar waters put him well beyond his father's reach.
Zuko gave a little 'hah!' as he got Jee's belt undone. His lieutenant chuckled, and Zuko dragged him down into another kiss. This felt far too good, some part of him thought warily. Then his knee pressed against Jee's leg-guards in just the right way to make the lieutenant's breath hitch, and Zuko felt a warm flush of satisfaction.
Jee pressed a hand to his knee, pushing the silk skirt of Zuko's dress up as he slid his hand up the prince's thigh.
Zuko pressed all the harder into the kiss, taking everything Jee would give him. He felt like he was pulling heat out of the other man, and he groaned when Jee pulled back.
The way Jee looked at him, though... Zuko was suddenly very aware of a tingling underneath his skin, his skirt pushed up around his thighs and pulled down to uncover his chest, the heavy weight of his plaited hair, the way he just ached and wanted to rub against the silk trapping him. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips.
"Damn, princess," Jee said in a low voice, reaching for him.
"Prince," Zuko commanded. "Call me prince when we do this."
Sparks spilled from between Jee's fingers.
***
they'll laugh at me!
"-And that's the plan," Zuko declared, hands on the map of Kyoshi Island. "Any questions?"
His uncle felt he should ask that. Zuko didn't see why he needed to bother, since no one had yet to have any questions in the past three years of working with these people.
One of his firebenders raised his hand.
"What?" Zuko snapped.
"Um, princess, why don't you just use your feminine wiles to distract the Avatar, and we grab him?"
Zuko stared at the man. He was faintly aware of Jee covering his eyes with his hand, and his uncle fighting to hide a smile.
Feminine wiles? Feminine wiles? He didn't have feminine wiles! He tried to imagine flirting with the Avatar, and- "NO."
End
Title: A Rose By Any Other Name
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Zuko/Jee, Iroh, Ozai, Azula, Zhao, random firebender #3
Word Count: 1847
Summary: [Pux]: "Azula is now my son, Zuko my daughter. Have fun, kids." Zuko copes.
Author's Notes: Somedays, my inner Ozai is crazier than other days. This came about a few days after I let him change Ichiro's birthday by imperial fiat, so I think I was just enamored with using imperial fiat to change things that are normally unchangeable. Also, Zuko in a dress pleases me.
I used the Fire: Smoldering themeset from 7_chakras for this. (Man, I love their themesets.)
Special thanks to ravynfyre for the title.
---
this will go down in history
Ozai sipped his coffee for it was too black and bitter to be drunk in gulps. His children sat at either hand, sneaking glances at him when they thought he wouldn't notice. His brother sat at the foot of the table, quietly drinking jasmine tea.
The servants had set the table for a casual breakfast, three courses instead of the usual six. The current day in the festival cycle dictated simple food made from purely Fire Nation fare. Hot drinks, followed by spiced and fruited porridge (served with much honey and milk, for this was the royal table), and cold-cut meats to ready them for the day.
An auspicious day for this, for today was the end of winter by the temple calendars. The Fire Sages would argue with him quite enough about how they had not made any mistakes at all, but forcing the change on a day of changes would go more smoothly than otherwise.
Ozai set his coffee down. "I have determined that the Fire Sages miswrote your sexes, Zuko and Azula."
Both of his children stared at him, expressions going white, breakfast forgotten. Iroh merely looked pained, but he had already tried to argue Ozai out of his decision.
Zuko, surprisingly enough, was the one who managed to speak first. "-Father?"
"You are my daughter," Ozai said to Zuko, then turned his head to Azula, "And you are my son. This changes nothing of inheritance. We are Fire Nation, not Earth Kingdom, and the Right of the Firstborn does not care for the sex of the child."
Zuko nodded jerkily. Azula pouted.
"You will dress as befits a princess and prince of the Fire Nation." Ozai picked up his coffee again. "I expect dresses, Zuko."
Azula broke into giggles. Zuko looked as if he was considering throwing himself off a cliff in a fit of melodrama.
Iroh sighed.
***
i can't
"I can't do this, Uncle."
The princess's words were so soft, Jee knew he wasn't meant to hear them. He didn't sneak a glance over his shoulder as he led the two royals on a tour of the small vessel. He had more circumspection than that.
"You will be fine, Zuko," General Iroh answered his niece just as softly.
She'd been clinging to the old man since she came on board, nervous and irritable at anyone who looked at her for too long. She didn't seem to realize how hard it was not to look. With her porcelain-pale skin, smoke-dark plaited hair, golden eyes, and fine features, Princess Zuko was a beauty by any standard. Even the scar couldn't fully detract from that. The fine royal dress she wore, cut to fight in, only made her all the more eye-catching.
Jee had five sisters. He knew a thing or two about not looking. Besides, they'd be a long time at sea together. Searching for the Avatar was a royal's rite-of-passage, and it meant five-to-ten years of exile for the poor bastards unlucky enough to get assigned to it. Better to start out on the right foot with the princess than make her want to fireblast him.
Jee indicated a door as they approached. "Your cabin, Princess. The cook prepared a meal for you and the General. It should be on now."
"Thank you, Lieutenant," General Iroh said. "I am sure we could do both do with a filling meal."
Jee tried not to smile at the general's word-choice. "I hope you enjoy it."
He stood aside to let them pass. As she walked by, the princess's golden eyes flicked towards him, and he offered her a small smile. Pink blossomed on her porcelain cheeks, and she hurried past, skirts swishing tantalizingly against his legs.
Well. Jee decided not to make anything of that until he got a better measure of her.
***
no
Zuko is certain he's going mad. Month by month, day by day, every time someone calls him princess.
Sometimes he believes it. Sometimes he can go for days at a stretch being Princess Zuko without noticing. Noticing that he's not a princess, not Ozai's daughter. Even being naked isn't always enough to break it - he's bathed and gone about his day before as a princess, not realizing until later what he's done.
Then something will snap him back, and he shudders at the way his men call him princess, at the way they look at him but don't see him. He wants to yell and throw fire, run away and hide.
Except-
He'd tried to put the dresses away once. Tried to get out the armor Uncle Iroh had had made for him and wear it.
He'd tried so hard, but the idea of stepping out of his cabin in that armor, his hair pulled into a topknot rather than woven into plaits, terrified him. In the end, he'd buried the armor under his dresses, and he'd put on one of the most elaborate dresses he had. The one Mai had recommended he take.
Mai.
Zuko hopes Father will let him marry Mai, even though he's a daughter now instead of a son. Because Mai knows, Mai understands, and Mai doesn't care.
Maybe Father will make her a man.
Zuko hopes, when Father dies and he becomes the Firelord, he'll be able to say his father was wrong, he wasn't Ozai's daughter but Ozai's son.
***
shaking; trembling
Behind the boiler, Zuko couldn't decide if this was the worst day of his life or the best since the change. Jee pressed soft kisses to his mouth, one hand around his waist to hold him close, and the other slowly pushing up the sleeve of his dress. Zuko's breath came in soft gasps whenever Jee released him from a kiss, and he wanted so badly to respond to the lieutenant with the same passion Jee was giving to him.
But he couldn't! Jee thought he was a young woman, and Zuko couldn't bear to disillusion him. He couldn't bear the way Jee would surely look at him, the disgust the lieutenant would turn on him.
"We have to stop," Zuko gasped out the next time they broke a kiss.
"Hm?" Jee dipped to kiss the line of his jaw, sideburns brushing against Zuko's face. "Why?"
Zuko wriggled and tried to think unaroused thoughts. It didn't work very well, and he thanked Agni his hands were fisted in the material of Jee's clothes. Too, that this dress was thick to deal with the winter-cold. "P-please. We just do."
Jee sighed and pulled back, his hands on Zuko but still rather than constantly moving and lighting little fires underneath his skin. "Princess, if you are going to ask me to stop, then I have to ask you to stop flirting. You're being a damn tease."
Zuko flushed and looked away. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He was terrible at being a girl, he never had any idea when he was flirting or not. When he tried, it always felt awkward and flat, and when he didn't.... Well, when he didn't, he wound up in a dark, hot corner of his ship with his favorite lieutenant. "I- I don't know if I can do that."
"Princess..."
Zuko hunched his shoulders and stared at the floor. Jee's hands tightened on him, and Zuko tried very, very hard not to jerk his hips in response to that. "-I'm not a princess," he said very softly.
Jee didn't push him away.
Mustering up his courage, Zuko peeked at his lieutenant.
Jee was... smiling?
Zuko blinked, and then Jee leaned close and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Zuko blinked again, heat rising in him, and when they broke the kiss, he blew out smoke.
"I'd noticed that already," Jee said. "You're getting a little too old to not wear dresses with high collars."
***
shameless
Zuko knelt at one end of the arena, forcing herself to concentrate on her breathing. Her hair was in plaits, but her clothing was traditional for an Agni Kai. She could have worn a breastband, she thought. Then she wouldn't have to stand up completely bare-chested and male.
She closed her eyes.
"Remember your firebending basics, Princess Zuko. They are your greatest weapons," Uncle Iroh said.
Zuko opened his eyes and stood. "I refuse to let him win."
He turned, the vest slipping from his shoulders. His lips curved into a smirk, perfect mimicry of Azula at her worst, as Zhao visibly startled. To his credit, the captain rallied quickly, and there was no hesitation in his strikes.
That startlement, that acknowledgement, would warm Zuko for the rest of his life. Win or lose.
***
spontaneous combustion
They tumbled onto the berth together, Jee's hands roughly pulling down the top of Zuko's dress. Zuko fumbled at his lieutenant's belt as he tried to both get Jee out of his armor and make it easy for Jee to get him out of his dress.
His father would kill him and his uncle didn't really approve, but 'firebender' trumped 'merchant's son', and voyaging through south polar waters put him well beyond his father's reach.
Zuko gave a little 'hah!' as he got Jee's belt undone. His lieutenant chuckled, and Zuko dragged him down into another kiss. This felt far too good, some part of him thought warily. Then his knee pressed against Jee's leg-guards in just the right way to make the lieutenant's breath hitch, and Zuko felt a warm flush of satisfaction.
Jee pressed a hand to his knee, pushing the silk skirt of Zuko's dress up as he slid his hand up the prince's thigh.
Zuko pressed all the harder into the kiss, taking everything Jee would give him. He felt like he was pulling heat out of the other man, and he groaned when Jee pulled back.
The way Jee looked at him, though... Zuko was suddenly very aware of a tingling underneath his skin, his skirt pushed up around his thighs and pulled down to uncover his chest, the heavy weight of his plaited hair, the way he just ached and wanted to rub against the silk trapping him. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips.
"Damn, princess," Jee said in a low voice, reaching for him.
"Prince," Zuko commanded. "Call me prince when we do this."
Sparks spilled from between Jee's fingers.
***
they'll laugh at me!
"-And that's the plan," Zuko declared, hands on the map of Kyoshi Island. "Any questions?"
His uncle felt he should ask that. Zuko didn't see why he needed to bother, since no one had yet to have any questions in the past three years of working with these people.
One of his firebenders raised his hand.
"What?" Zuko snapped.
"Um, princess, why don't you just use your feminine wiles to distract the Avatar, and we grab him?"
Zuko stared at the man. He was faintly aware of Jee covering his eyes with his hand, and his uncle fighting to hide a smile.
Feminine wiles? Feminine wiles? He didn't have feminine wiles! He tried to imagine flirting with the Avatar, and- "NO."
End