(Untitled)

[becky_writing]

Title: Bang.
Author: Becky_H
Character(s): Ianto, Jack.
Genre: Crack.
Rating: G
Word Count: 100
Summary: Alien-Donut Crack!Fic.
Author's Notes: There is no excuse for this. Alien Donuts couldn't even make this happen. (This is not my indulgence fic. My justification is that I'm not posting this to comms, so it doesn't count.)
Edited To Add:

Comments

[becky_writing]

*nods* Absolutely. And everyone has to shoot Jack.

[smithy161]

Tosh is up next. Unlike Owen and Ianto, she does it for kicks.

[becky_writing]

"What are you doing?" Jack asked, as he moved cautiously away from Tosh. Step by careful step, navigating the obstacle course of wires, furniture, pizza boxes, and alien tech.

"What's it look like I'm doing, Jack?" Tosh was grinning, gun held straight in front of her in a picture perfect two handed grip.

"It looks like you've lost your fucking mind!" Jack yelped, tripped and almost fell. He, barely, managed to stay upright by grabbing the corner of Owen's workstation.

She conceded the point with a slight tilt of her head. "Sounds about right" she said, and pulled the trigger.

[smithy161]

BWAHA! Crazy!Tosh. This is hilarious and you should send it to BBC Wales.

[becky_writing]

You know it's sad. I pulled that out of my ass, but as I'm writing along, I had this thought: You know, Mary took over some human host or something before.... Then my brain stopped trying to make the crack make sense.

[smithy161]

I bet you anything they do a "one member of the team gets possessed and turns against them" plot in series 2.

Anything.

[becky_writing]

...Me too. They're due. Here's hopin' it's Tosh.

[mad_jaks]

Totally awesome!!

So where's the Gwen one then???

Ask and you shall receive.

[becky_writing]

"You bastard," Gwen said, accent thick and face flushed.

Jack looked up at her, bewildered. "What? What did I do now?"

"You told."

"I what?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Mister. You know what I'm talking about."

"No. I can start guessing if you want, but it might take a-"

Gwen pulled her gun and pointed it at him.

The shot knocked him out of his chair but didn't kill him. He'd have to get her back down to the range. When she walked out, he added a lecture about clean-kills and ethics to the list.

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[mad_jaks]

I hesitate to say it but:

"Overkill much Gwen??" Especially when it so *obviously* wasn't... *apologises*

He'd have to get her back down to the range.
Preferably hung up in front of a target :D

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[becky_writing]

*SPLORFLE*

And for completeness:

________________
"This is going to hurt me more than you."

"No!" Jack protested, loudly. "It's not. It's not going to hurt you at all. Until I wake up and then it's going to hurt you a whole lot more than me."

The Doctor made the squinty, wrinkled nose, confused face at Jack. "What'd you mean?"

"You'll see," Jack promised with a nasty grin.

The Doctor shrugged and shot Jack between the eyes.

His plan went off without a hitch. He was feeling pretty good until Jack woke up and punched him in the nose. He was slightly less smug after that.

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[mad_jaks]

B*stard!
I mean I *know* Ten's nose needed fixing but that was a really miserly way to go about getting it done! He really must be from North of the Border *g*

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[becky_writing]

I seriously am not even trying to make these things make sense, anymore. I'm stuck on WHEE SHOOT JACK.

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[donutsweeper]

you're high on alien donuts right now, aren't you?

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[becky_writing]

*nods* tea.

Re: Ask and you shall receive.

[donutsweeper]

I'm so proud