for sian1359 - Fic Part 1
For: sian1359
From: scap3goat
Request:
Carson caring for John outside of the infirmary;
something Earthside;
tag to Common Ground;
dark tag to Irresistible;
if it's h/c I prefer John with the H and Carson for the C.
Title:By Friday...
Words: 830
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Irresistible
Summary: John gets hurt cleaning up Rodney’s quarters. Lucius’ herb doesn’t only have “pleasant” effects…
Author's Notes: I tried some dark tag to Irresistible and h/c with John hurting - a lot. I hope it’s not too angsty and I hope it’s not too far from what you’ve expected when you wrote down the prompts.
John screamed out and Carson rushed to his lover’s side to see what was happening.
“John, lad, are you okay?”
Sheppard’s eyes were wide open and staring at the ceiling. “They’re here, they’re here to get me. Help, oh Lord, help me, please!”
It hurt Carson to see John in so much pain. He had been hallucinating for two days now, the wound at his hand healing oh so slowly. It was the reason for all John went through right now.
“Who’s coming for you, love?” asked Carson and sat down helplessly. He’d never heard John beg for something, let alone help. He was always the brave soldier, able to cope with everything life threw at him. But now those vivid daydreams transformed the brave Lt. Col. Sheppard into little Johnny who was still afraid of the clowns hiding beneath his bed - only worse.
Sheppard curled up and sobbed, cradling his hand.
“It hurts,” he gasped silently.
It was so heart wrenching Carson was sure he couldn’t bear it much longer. “I know, love, but I cannot give you any meds. We don’t know how it will affect you’re hallucinations.”
He was sure that John wouldn’t or couldn’t comprehend the meaning of these words, but it was better than to say nothing.
He wondered how long it would take until the effects of the herb would wear off. A piece of the dried herb had bore into John’s hand during the cleaning of Rodney’s quarters. Of course John had not paid much attention to it, but only half an hour later his hand was red and swollen, two hours later he was showing various symptoms from nausea to ague and nervousness.
Carson had pulled out the splinter but the symptoms had even worsened over the last two days. They had only tried once to clean John’s infected hand. He had been trashing and screaming as soon as someone came near the wound.
Finally they had moved him to his quarters where Carson was now taking care of him.
“Why are you so afraid of clowns?” asked Carson and hoped to get John out of this paranoid attack. “Have they ever hurt you?”
“Clowns are evil,” breathed John, his eyes wide with fear.
“Are they? What did they do to you?” inquired Carson.
John shook his head. “I was a good kid! I made no one hurt, no!”
Beckett smiled and kissed John’s cheek. “I know that you were a good little boy, John. I know.”
“But God can’t love me. God can’t love anyone like me.”
Something in Carson’s gut clenched. He had known that John had turned away from religion at a relatively early age because *something* had happened. It wasn’t like he had ever talked about his childhood.
“John, God loves every man and every woman on Earth - and especially all the children.”
“He can’t love me!” cried Sheppard. “I’m not normal. I’m a pervert. God doesn’t love perverts. Dad told me. That’s why he took Mommy. No one loves me!”
Carson started to shiver. He had never heard John talking so negatively about himself. Sure, there was the usual phrases like “You know I’m only a dumb soldier” but he had been of the opinion that John didn’t take that seriously.
“Why do you think you’re a pervert? John, you’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met!”
Apart from all the shooting, that was, but it wasn’t like being a soldier made a pervert out of someone. “What did your Dad say why God won’t love you?”
John’s fingers tightened around a cushion. “Because I’m gay, because I don’t like girls.”
Beckett took a deep, shuddering breath. He had wondered if this would ever be an issue in their relationship, if John would ever feel doubts about his sexuality. “I’m sure your Dad didn’t mean it like that. Your Mum didn’t die because you like guys instead of girls. God loves you, no matter who you love. And your Dad loves you, too.” Carson rambled on talking about love and equality and the eternal forgiveness God offered. He knew about the very strict religious groups in the US who tried to “beat” homosexuality out of their children with threats and re-educate teenagers in camps.
Perhaps John was lucky that his father had only threatened him. Carson had met the man shortly while on Earth. Yet he had sensed a hint of guilt on the man. He hadn’t known John was on Earth, too. Perhaps he didn’t even know John was still alive.
Suddenly John spoke up, “Can I have pancakes for breakfast?” He sounded weary and sleepy. “Pancakes and bacon and eggs and orange juice.”
Carson stroked John’s hair. “Of course, Johnny. I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you, Daddy…” whispered John. Tears formed in Carson’s eyes and he hoped that John had made some imaginary peace with his father.
With a breaking voice he breathed, “I love you” and suppressed a silent sob when John nodded before he fell asleep.
From: scap3goat
Request:
Carson caring for John outside of the infirmary;
something Earthside;
tag to Common Ground;
dark tag to Irresistible;
if it's h/c I prefer John with the H and Carson for the C.
Title:By Friday...
Words: 830
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Irresistible
Summary: John gets hurt cleaning up Rodney’s quarters. Lucius’ herb doesn’t only have “pleasant” effects…
Author's Notes: I tried some dark tag to Irresistible and h/c with John hurting - a lot. I hope it’s not too angsty and I hope it’s not too far from what you’ve expected when you wrote down the prompts.
John screamed out and Carson rushed to his lover’s side to see what was happening.
“John, lad, are you okay?”
Sheppard’s eyes were wide open and staring at the ceiling. “They’re here, they’re here to get me. Help, oh Lord, help me, please!”
It hurt Carson to see John in so much pain. He had been hallucinating for two days now, the wound at his hand healing oh so slowly. It was the reason for all John went through right now.
“Who’s coming for you, love?” asked Carson and sat down helplessly. He’d never heard John beg for something, let alone help. He was always the brave soldier, able to cope with everything life threw at him. But now those vivid daydreams transformed the brave Lt. Col. Sheppard into little Johnny who was still afraid of the clowns hiding beneath his bed - only worse.
Sheppard curled up and sobbed, cradling his hand.
“It hurts,” he gasped silently.
It was so heart wrenching Carson was sure he couldn’t bear it much longer. “I know, love, but I cannot give you any meds. We don’t know how it will affect you’re hallucinations.”
He was sure that John wouldn’t or couldn’t comprehend the meaning of these words, but it was better than to say nothing.
He wondered how long it would take until the effects of the herb would wear off. A piece of the dried herb had bore into John’s hand during the cleaning of Rodney’s quarters. Of course John had not paid much attention to it, but only half an hour later his hand was red and swollen, two hours later he was showing various symptoms from nausea to ague and nervousness.
Carson had pulled out the splinter but the symptoms had even worsened over the last two days. They had only tried once to clean John’s infected hand. He had been trashing and screaming as soon as someone came near the wound.
Finally they had moved him to his quarters where Carson was now taking care of him.
“Why are you so afraid of clowns?” asked Carson and hoped to get John out of this paranoid attack. “Have they ever hurt you?”
“Clowns are evil,” breathed John, his eyes wide with fear.
“Are they? What did they do to you?” inquired Carson.
John shook his head. “I was a good kid! I made no one hurt, no!”
Beckett smiled and kissed John’s cheek. “I know that you were a good little boy, John. I know.”
“But God can’t love me. God can’t love anyone like me.”
Something in Carson’s gut clenched. He had known that John had turned away from religion at a relatively early age because *something* had happened. It wasn’t like he had ever talked about his childhood.
“John, God loves every man and every woman on Earth - and especially all the children.”
“He can’t love me!” cried Sheppard. “I’m not normal. I’m a pervert. God doesn’t love perverts. Dad told me. That’s why he took Mommy. No one loves me!”
Carson started to shiver. He had never heard John talking so negatively about himself. Sure, there was the usual phrases like “You know I’m only a dumb soldier” but he had been of the opinion that John didn’t take that seriously.
“Why do you think you’re a pervert? John, you’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met!”
Apart from all the shooting, that was, but it wasn’t like being a soldier made a pervert out of someone. “What did your Dad say why God won’t love you?”
John’s fingers tightened around a cushion. “Because I’m gay, because I don’t like girls.”
Beckett took a deep, shuddering breath. He had wondered if this would ever be an issue in their relationship, if John would ever feel doubts about his sexuality. “I’m sure your Dad didn’t mean it like that. Your Mum didn’t die because you like guys instead of girls. God loves you, no matter who you love. And your Dad loves you, too.” Carson rambled on talking about love and equality and the eternal forgiveness God offered. He knew about the very strict religious groups in the US who tried to “beat” homosexuality out of their children with threats and re-educate teenagers in camps.
Perhaps John was lucky that his father had only threatened him. Carson had met the man shortly while on Earth. Yet he had sensed a hint of guilt on the man. He hadn’t known John was on Earth, too. Perhaps he didn’t even know John was still alive.
Suddenly John spoke up, “Can I have pancakes for breakfast?” He sounded weary and sleepy. “Pancakes and bacon and eggs and orange juice.”
Carson stroked John’s hair. “Of course, Johnny. I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you, Daddy…” whispered John. Tears formed in Carson’s eyes and he hoped that John had made some imaginary peace with his father.
With a breaking voice he breathed, “I love you” and suppressed a silent sob when John nodded before he fell asleep.