Comments | beckaandzac: So about that anonymous kink meme...

beckaandzac

So about that anonymous kink meme...

Jan 10, 2009 20:14

I love blindfold_spn. I think it's WONDERFUL, even when the stuff in it is gross or dumb or poorly spelled! AND I WILL TELL YOU WHY.

( But I'ma cut it 'cause it's about porn... )

i can has opinions, fandom, porn!, public

Comments 12

zooey_glass04 January 11 2009, 03:31:09 UTC

It's really interesting that you feel like this, because blindfold_spn has sort of had the opposite effect for me. I started out all 'yeay' about it, but then as it went on I found that so much of what was there seriously crossed my personal lines that I was just uncomfortable even being there. The 'don't like don't read' principle is all very well, but I'm uncomfortable even reading some of the prompts. My solution has just been to step away and accept that it's gone beyond my comfort zone, but it has made me thinky, because I think social norms exist for a reason, sometimes ( ... )

zooey_glass04 January 11 2009, 03:59:08 UTC

Addendum to this, thinking more about it, which is that it also makes me question whether my own attitude of acceptance is the right one. I shy away from ever condemning something in fandom, because a. different people, different kinks, and b. I've often written or read something which falls into the same category except by degree, so who am I to be drawing the line. But I think there's a big difference between 'underage' where the participants are both teenagers, and 'underage' where there are large age differences or where the participants are pre-pubescent. And frankly, I do think that some of the material being posted over there falls into the paedophilia category, and there's a pretty clear line in my mind there. And then I question whether my silence on that is a good thing ( ... )

beckaandzac January 11 2009, 04:39:16 UTC

Ugh, I really wish that there was some way to have one of these memes where everyone really did feel like they and their kinks were welcome. It makes me really sad that you've been turned away from it by things that sort of fall outside the category of "don't like don't read," since the whole point of the prompts is for people to find things to write that excite rather than alienate them. I think that there's probably a lot of kinky common ground that's not being covered because there are some things that are beyond the pale for some people. But those lines are so subjective and personal that I do not know how we can really have a public space that allows for people to explore in fiction things that are absolutely and very clearly wrong in real life without alienating a lot of other people who deserve a place to talk about their kinks. Because you deserve to feel like your kinks are valid! So I understand what you're saying, and it makes me sad that the meme doesn't feel like a safe place for you, but I don't know what to do about it ( ... )

zooey_glass04 January 11 2009, 05:15:05 UTC

I'm not sure there can ever be an all-encompassing meme that everyone feels comfortable with, because by the nature of kink there will always be things that turn other people away. And from the way the meme has worked, I think it's functioned fairly well - that is to say, I don't think that there has been much (if any) in the way of people condemning stuff in the meme itself, even though it has provoked discussion like this elsewhere ( ... )

Thread 6

azephirin January 11 2009, 03:37:12 UTC

Honestly? I was having a great time with it until I saw the prompt for 6-year-old Dean and 2-year-old Sam. I mean, sure, there was stuff on there to which my reaction was "Eew! *scroll* *scroll* *scroll* *scroll*" (John/Dean, anything noncon, etc.) and other stuff that just didn't do it for me, but the meme was still fun as a whole. I saw that prompt and had two reactions: 1) nausea, and 2) the intense desire not to share any kind of space with a person who thinks that sexual contact with a toddler is erotic. It killed the meme for me. If I remembered what page that prompt was on, I could probably avoid it, but I don't (and don't really feel like going over there to find out). Also, if that prompt had been the only one that gave me that reaction, I could probably ignore it, but there were others to which I'd had similar reactions but told myself, "It's fiction; let it go." Ultimately I wasn't able to keep that distance, and I don't *want* to be able to keep that distance ( ... )

beckaandzac January 11 2009, 04:57:06 UTC

I'm sorry that it hit that point for you, and that you had to stop playing over there, but I'm glad that you found your boundaries when you needed them.

There are so many good prompts and so much good fic! Someone finally wrote one of mine and it was really exciting! I really want some of that stuff to get pulled out where more people can see it, even people who've been put off by some of the things in the meme.

azephirin January 13 2009, 22:55:41 UTC

Yeah, I was sorry too. :( But that boundary is pretty ironclad.

When the time comes, I am definitely going to post everything I wrote-there are a couple of pairings that aren't my usual, but I don't think anyone will be surprised contentwise. That is awesome that someone finally wrote one of your prompts!

untitleddemo January 11 2009, 03:48:23 UTC

blindfold_spn makes me want to delete my journal. I guess I have a problem with some of the stories being written over there. Maybe because in my mind I would compare them to a bunch of dudes sitting around talking about how hard it makes them to fantasize about raping a pre-pubescent girl. Trading stories with each other about how hot it would be for someone to pop her cherry. And that makes me feel really, really... I don't know, not okay. I understand that it's fiction. I also understand that there are many of my own kinks that a lot of society would find repulsive or immoral. So I do understand the hypocrisy, but. Reading fics over there has really left a bad taste in my mouth. That's just the way I feel. Not logical, I suppose. But I find the egging on of child rape to be something I want to separate myself from in a big way ( ... )

beckaandzac January 11 2009, 05:03:27 UTC

I love you too! I want you to be happy and to have porn that is to your liking and does not make you uncomfortable! I think I just... I'd rather people realize that they can write fic about things that are destructive and horrible and get them out of their systems on the internet, than have them secretly doing awful things in real life. IDK, we can talk about it. I am always interested in what you feel. <333

lazy_daze January 11 2009, 15:41:13 UTC

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