So about that anonymous kink meme...

[beckaandzac]

I love blindfold_spn. I think it's WONDERFUL, even when the stuff in it is gross or dumb or poorly spelled! AND I WILL TELL YOU WHY.

Comments

[zooey_glass04]

It's really interesting that you feel like this, because blindfold_spn has sort of had the opposite effect for me. I started out all 'yeay' about it, but then as it went on I found that so much of what was there seriously crossed my personal lines that I was just uncomfortable even being there. The 'don't like don't read' principle is all very well, but I'm uncomfortable even reading some of the prompts. My solution has just been to step away and accept that it's gone beyond my comfort zone, but it has made me thinky, because I think social norms exist for a reason, sometimes

[zooey_glass04]

Addendum to this, thinking more about it, which is that it also makes me question whether my own attitude of acceptance is the right one. I shy away from ever condemning something in fandom, because a. different people, different kinks, and b. I've often written or read something which falls into the same category except by degree, so who am I to be drawing the line. But I think there's a big difference between 'underage' where the participants are both teenagers, and 'underage' where there are large age differences or where the participants are pre-pubescent. And frankly, I do think that some of the material being posted over there falls into the paedophilia category, and there's a pretty clear line in my mind there. And then I question whether my silence on that is a good thing

[beckaandzac]

Ugh, I really wish that there was some way to have one of these memes where everyone really did feel like they and their kinks were welcome. It makes me really sad that you've been turned away from it by things that sort of fall outside the category of "don't like don't read," since the whole point of the prompts is for people to find things to write that excite rather than alienate them. I think that there's probably a lot of kinky common ground that's not being covered because there are some things that are beyond the pale for some people. But those lines are so subjective and personal that I do not know how we can really have a public space that allows for people to explore in fiction things that are absolutely and very clearly wrong in real life without alienating a lot of other people who deserve a place to talk about their kinks. Because you deserve to feel like your kinks are valid! So I understand what you're saying, and it makes me sad that the meme doesn't feel like a safe place for you, but I don't know what to do about it

[zooey_glass04]

I'm not sure there can ever be an all-encompassing meme that everyone feels comfortable with, because by the nature of kink there will always be things that turn other people away. And from the way the meme has worked, I think it's functioned fairly well - that is to say, I don't think that there has been much (if any) in the way of people condemning stuff in the meme itself, even though it has provoked discussion like this elsewhere

[beckaandzac]

It's true about not being able to have an all-encompassing space for kink, but I have a feeling the reason my prompts aren't getting written is because the people who might write them have been frightened off. (I am very open to other people's kinks, but I do get whiny and frustrated when they prevent people from writing me porn!)

[zooey_glass04]

Yes, that's frustrating - I am in a similar position! Clearly we need to turn your mind powerz to greater use and beam subliminal messages across the internet to make people write more of our kinks!