What Really Matters

Feb 18, 2022 19:09


An entry for week 2 of therealljidol.

Read more... )

poetry, grief, mom, anxiety, lj idol

Leave a comment

Comments 30

drippedonpaper February 19 2022, 02:08:40 UTC
I love this... "We are the spaces inbetween...stories.."

I also especially love "..we are interwoven...designed to disintegrate.."

I find so much peace that I am just a blink to be forgotten. I know that's odd. But I find it freeing.

I am so sad you lost your mom. Thank you for sharing this beautiful, deep poem from your heart.

Reply

beautyofgrey February 19 2022, 15:03:28 UTC

Thank you for your kind comment. I wavered a lot on whether to share this one. It feels more terrifying, because it is so personal (I can't write about her without crying), and because I worried it would appear in some way to cheapen or diminish her loss, because she was so much more than the circumstances around her death.

But it is a way of working through both my anxiety and my grief, and as I do that, I do find some comfort in contemplating who we are, and how our bodies are really just a temporary assemblage of materials and energy that eventually returns back to the universe, and that nothing, not even our thoughts or our identities, are static things... but perhaps the connection is in the space between?

So I could never have held on to her forever, but I also don't have to hold onto the thoughts around the tragedy of her death, forever, either, as those don't define who she was (though in some ways, I have let it define some part of me).

(Sorry for the long reply...writing is therapy for my brain).

Reply

marlawentmad February 27 2022, 06:39:43 UTC

This is a beautiful honoring of life in its entire cycle, and a lovely tribute to your mom. This is a full brimming cup to her value and your grief. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Reply

beautyofgrey February 27 2022, 21:42:57 UTC
Thank you. <3

Reply


baxaphobia February 20 2022, 01:59:50 UTC
lovely, sad and beautiful.

Reply


adoptedwriter February 20 2022, 02:38:18 UTC
“ The lungs expand,
alveoli unfolding like paper cranes,
until they no longer can
(or the breathing tube is removed).

Wow!

Reply


stellinasusan February 20 2022, 06:56:10 UTC
A beautiful piece, so vivid in imagery and motion.How sad to lose your Mum, I understand this feeling only too well.You should keep writing about her,it will help you heal,She will always be with you, believe me x

Reply

stellinasusan February 20 2022, 06:56:51 UTC
Sorry I meant emotion-typo x

Reply

beautyofgrey February 20 2022, 14:16:46 UTC

Thank you. I lost my mom and my dad in a span of 8 months, and while it's been a few years, their losses were sudden, and I still grapple with grief and guilt at times.

Reply

mollywheezy February 23 2022, 02:49:44 UTC
That is so hard and this is a beautiful tribute.

Reply


stellinasusan February 20 2022, 14:52:29 UTC
I'm so sorry,that is awful,it's hard I know how hard,but they loved you and would not want you to feel guilt and grief works its way out eventually until you have only beautiful memories of those special ones you loved.You'll get there ,we all have regrets and ,''what ifs''. but you and I were lucky to be blessed with parents like ours and we need to honour them by living a happy life.Take care dear and chin up xx

Reply


Leave a comment

Up