Skin You're In 3/6?
Title: Skin You're In 3/6?
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaehwa (Changmin/Junsu, Yunho/Heechul, past Yunho/Jaehwa)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They aren't mine to play with.
Summary: Jaehwa is one of the prettiest girls Yoochun has ever met. Yoochun isn't sure how to react when he finds out that Jaehwa is a girl in her mind, but she has the body of a man. Does that change who she is?
Warnings: Transgender!Jaejoong
A/N: Before you start reading, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Gender Identity Disorder. I personally think calling it a disorder is bullshit. There is a lot of controversy over this topic.
If you have questions, or you want to discuss this topic with others, go here: http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/40030.html (you have to be a member of the community, go here to join http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/)
A/N Part 2: This fic is dedicated to willowwing because she has gone to great lengths to make her most recent fic realistic, and I hope that I have taken this topic and done the same. And she loves JaeChun, so it's a JaeChun.
Part 3: The Wait
A throat cleared behind him and Yoochun turned as Jaehwa walked into the living room. She had put on Hello-Kitty sleep pants and a pink hoody. Her long hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Her cheeks were almost as pink as her clothes. She sank into the opposite side of the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest.
Yoochun turned and sat cross-legged. He held out his hand, but she only looked at it.
“Jaehwa,” he said and she shook her head so he shut up.
She bit her lower lip and chanced a glance up at him.
Yoochun smiled.
“You’re not mad?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“Why would I be mad?”
“I lied to you.”
“Not technically.”
“Yes, well, technically, I have a penis.”
“And technically, you look adorable in those pants.”
She finally lifted her face to glare at him for making a joke.
Yoochun shook his head. “I don’t think you lied to me. You’ve never once acted differently than who and what you are.”
“And what am I? What do you think I am?”
Yoochun grinned and leaned forward. Jaehwa’s chest hitched, but she didn’t try to move away as he crawled over the couch to her. “I think you are a very pretty girl and your lips taste like lemon.”
Her eyes shut, and two tears dripped down her cheeks. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“You don’t think I’m a freak?”
“Well, I’d have to question your taste in music, but no, you’re not a freak.” Yoochun wiped the tears off her cheeks. He planned on kissing her again, but Jaehwa took a deep breath and collapsed into him, clutching at his t-shirt. Yoochun settled back on the couch, pulling Jaehwa down with him. Very lightly, Yoochun loosened the ponytail and ran his hands through her half wet hair.
“Junsu explained some things to me,” Yoochun said, “and I’ve been thinking and reading about some things, and none of it changes the fact that I like you. I think I’ve spent the last eight months proving that.”
“Really, Chunnie-ah?” She sounded like she couldn’t quite believe it.
Yoochun chuckled. “Yes, really.”
His phone suddenly vibrated and he reached for where he left it on the couch.
From: Junsu
DON’T YOU DARE HAVE SEX WITH HER YOU PLAYBOY CASSANOVA
“Your best friend is very protective of you,” he said.
Jaehwa took the phone and read the message and rolled her eyes. She started replying to his text, but Yoochun took the phone from her hands. She looked up at him, and then blushed at the look in his eyes. She wasn’t wearing contacts, just natural brown beautifulness of her eyes. And no makeup. Her skin was beyond perfect. He touched her cheek.
“Can I kiss you again?” Yoochun whispered, leaning down to do just that, but going slow enough that she could move if she wanted to.
Their lips touched. She whimpered and clutched at his wrists. She stayed tense for a long time, but Yoochun refused to give up, or let her go. Very gently, he moved his lips, opening them slightly so they covered her bottom lip, and then Jaehwa moaned, pushed him back and he fell to the couch in surprise. Before he had a chance to apologize, Jaehwa was over him, straddling his waist, hands clutched in his t-shirt. She licked her lips, drawing a moan from Yoochun and then leaned down and practically ate his mouth.
Yoochun had no problem with that. It’d been months since he last properly kissed a girl. He wrapped his arms around her, but when he tried to pull their bodies together, she resisted. Yoochun whimpered and tugged at her hips anyway. He felt her smile, but she stayed above him, and kept kissing him. Biting his lips. Licking his teeth and the roof of his mouth. If it’d been months since he last kissed someone, he wondered how long it had been for her.
Yoochun slid his hands up her back. They caught on her hoody and he almost pushed them under, but decided against it. He slid them over soft cloth and then let them tangle in her loose hair. Holding her firmly, he finally took over the kiss, lifting his head and pulling her down to dig his tongue deeper into her mouth. Jaehwa moaned, and her arms shook from the effort of holding herself up.
Yoochun pulled back, licking the last bit of lemon gloss from her lips. “Please, just … relax.”
Jaehwa bit her lower lip just as Yoochun licked at it. She sighed, eyes shut and let her body fall into Yoochun’s. He smiled and put his arms around her back, this time letting them hit skin, under her hoody. Even the skin of her back was perfectly smooth. Yoochun ran his hands up and down, all around it, lips never leaving hers. They shifted again, and Yoochun almost pulled his hips back, and then decided not to. He was hard as a rock and he wanted Jaehwa to feel it and know that it was because of her.
And if Yoochun hadn’t been thinking about it, there wasn’t much chance of him noticing the small bulge pressed against his leg. His body quivered, because seriously, he was making out with a guy, but as soon as that thought hit him, he dismissed it. He wasn’t kissing a guy. He was kissing Jaehwa.
But he obviously didn’t get rid of the thought fast enough.
Jaehwa gasped and pulled away from him violently. She pushed up and went back to being curled up in a ball. Her back heaved with deep breaths.
“Jae-“
She shook her head. “You … I … can’t do this. Not if you’re …”
“You’re going to have to let me get used to this,” Yoochun said.
Jaehwa sniffed, but nodded.
Yoochun moved to her and put his arms around her body. She buried her face in her arms. He hooked his leg over her arm and scooted close to her. His erection pressed against the back of her thigh. “If I didn’t want this, or if I thought you were gross or something, you think I’d still be hard?”
Jaehwa froze, and then very lightly pushed back against his body. Yoochun moaned and put his face at her neck. His arm wrapped around her waist and he held her, support for the tiny thrusts against her thigh. She turned her head and their lips met again. Softly though. Yoochun knew the moment was over and he pulled back. He rubbed their noses together, and she smiled and kissed him quickly.
“Let me brush your hair,” Yoochun whispered.
Jaehwa paused and then nodded. “Okay.”
Reluctantly, Yoochun released her and she stood up. She kept her eyes lowered, almost embarrassed, and Yoochun glanced at her crotch. There was barely a bulge there, and again, if he hadn’t been looking for it, he might not have noticed it at all. How tiny was this guy?
Yoochun figured he was going to have to wait to find out. Maybe even four more months. Could he go another four months without sex? For Jaehwa, he could. He wanted her to feel comfortable. And if he was honest with himself, he had to get used to the idea that his girlfriend had a dick. Saying he was okay with it and being okay with it were definitely two differently things. Everything was going to be more complicated now. Every step of their relationship was going to take longer.
With a groan, he leaned back on the couch.
“Hate me yet?” Jaehwa asked.
Yoochun pried open an eye and shook his head. She’d changed again, or she’d just taken off the hoody. Now all she wore on her upper body was a purple spaghetti-strap tank top. It was the first time he’d seen her in so little. Her collarbones stuck out a little more than normal girls and her chest was flatter than normal. Yoochun ached to touch her.
“Sexually frustrated,” he finally said after her cheeks had turned pink from his staring.
She smiled and held out her brush. Yoochun took it from her and sat straight. She used his knees and lowered herself to the floor, between his legs. Yoochun carefully brushed her hair. He had no sisters, and his younger brother would smack him if he tried to brush his hair. It was soft and silky and smelled like flowers. When the tangles were out and the locks more or less dry, Yoochun brought them up to his face.
“You’re so corny sometimes,” Jaehwa said and turned to look at him.
Yoochun grinned. “You make me loopy and stupid.”
“Yeah, that is so not my fault,” she said and leaned her cheek on Yoochun’s knee. “Now what?”
Yoochun put his hands under her arms and pulled her up enough for a kiss. “Go get dressed and let me take you to dinner.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
February 2012
Yoochun was wrong. It didn’t take four months for their relationship to go to the next level, just three. And it was agonizing. Jaehwa still became embarrassed when they made out, and she still refused to tell Yoochun what to do and how to do it and when to do it. If Jaehwa had a female body, he’d have no problems, but the girl was being frustrating and wouldn’t talk to him about sex.
As a last resort, he went to Junsu.
“I need to talk to you,” Yoochun said.
Junsu snorted. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to come to me.”
“Please, I’m desperate.”
“Yeah, I can tell, and so can anyone else who knows you. How long has it been since you’ve gotten laid?”
“Over a year now.”
“Man.”
“Just help me out, please. She won’t talk to me about it.”
Junsu pondered him for a moment and then smirked. “Fine. But one condition.”
“What?”
“Hook me up with your friend Changmin.”
“He’s straight.”
“Sure, he is.”
“Junsu, trust me.”
“And trust me when I say I’ve seen him stare at my ass.”
“That’s because your ass is huge. I stare at your ass.”
Junsu raised his eyebrows.
“Fine, fine. I’ll give you his number.” Yoochun pulled out his phone and scanned down to his contacts list. He took the pen from Junsu and wrote Changmin’s number on a napkin. “He’s a bastard, just FYI.”
“I like my men feisty.” He folded the napkin and put it in his pocket.
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Okay. Talk.”
“I can’t help you.”
“Junsu!”
“But Yunho can. Look, Yoochun. Remember. I dated her when we were in high school. When she was still Jaejoong. I don’t know what she wants now. But Yunho will. A number for a number.” Junsu wrote a number down on a napkin and gave it to him. “Call him. He wants to meet you anyway.”
Yoochun stared at the number and made a face. He really did not want to call Jaehwa’s ex-boyfriend.
“Now, do you want coffee or not?”
Yoochun nodded absently. He waited until Junsu had put his coffee in a to-go cup and then he left the café. He had plans to meet Jaehwa for a marathon of chick flicks that he was going to fall asleep during. But sometimes, when he fell asleep, Jaehwa woke him up with kisses and that was worth the bad movies. On the way there, he called the number.
A deep voice said, “This is Jung Yunho,” after only two rings.
“Um, hi. This … this is Park Yoochun, and-“
“Yoochun-shi! Hey. Junsu said you’d be calling me soon.”
“Damn that kid,” Yoochun muttered.
Yunho chuckled. “Yeah. He’s an overprotective bastard, but that also means he knows what Jaehwa wants and how to get her to cooperate.”
“That sounds really bad.”
“But true. Do you want to meet today?”
“I can’t. Chick flick marathon.”
“Ah, you poor man.”
“Jaehwa makes it worth it.”
“Indeed she does.”
“I have classes until two tomorrow.”
“I’ll meet you at the campus café then. The one in the business building.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Jaehwa really likes you, Yoochun-shi. Be patient with her.”
“I am. I really like her, too.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Yoochun hung up with a sigh.
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
The next day, Yoochun met Yunho and immediately felt insecure and incomparable. Just by his looks, Yoochun could see what Jaehwa had seen in him. He was tall and strong, very well built, light brown, spiky hair. He was wearing a tailored, pin-striped suit, and Yoochun wondered if maybe he was a little gay because he was automatically drawn to this man.
Yunho caught sight of him and stood up. He offered his hand and they shook. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
“You, too. I’m going to go order coffee. Something tells me I’m going to want something stronger before the end of this conversation, but an hour and a half of stats class has destroyed my brain, and I need caffeine.”
Yunho laughed. Perfect white teeth. Yoochun’s heart sped up a little bit. How had Jaehwa let this one go? He quickly went to the counter and ordered drip coffee. After the Angel Café, no one could make his latte like Junsu or Jaehwa.
He blew on it before taking a sip and headed back to their table. He settled in his seat and Yunho smiled at him again.
“I’m only telling you this because I still care about Jaehwa. I may not love her anymore, or maybe I didn’t love her at all, or just not enough. But I still worry about her, because … well, you know why. She’s special, Yoochun-shi.”
“I know.”
“I had a very hard time letting her go. I don’t know why, or how, but the passion sort of dissipated between us. How long have you been dating?”
“Dating? About seven months, but it was four months before she finally agreed to go out with me.”
“And how long since you found out about …”
“Three months.”
“Wow. She’s really stringing you along. I had her in bed after five.”
Yoochun made a face. “Lucky bastard.”
Yunho laughed. “I’m sure she’s been so reluctant with you because of me. It really hurt us both when we broke up. We were thinking of moving in together, and then, I don’t know, a month later we broke up. I wish I loved her enough. Have you told her that you love her?”
Yoochun shook his head. “I do though; I just don’t know how she’d react to that confession.”
“You should tell her, before you try anything else. She may be making you wait until you tell her. She can be incredibly devious when she wants to be, but she’s still a woman, who watches way too many love movies.”
“God, don’t I know it.”
“Anyway. The reason why we’re here. I had to go by trial and error with her, she seemed comfortable enough with her body, but she was very worried about me liking it. I did like it, a lot. How far have you gone with her?”
Yoochun sighed. “Maybe second base. Maybe. Kissing, touching above the pants, rarely under her shirt. I try, and she moves away from me.”
Yunho nodded. “Well, that’s probably my fault too. She’s probably keeping herself as protected as she can. You need to tell her you love her, because she isn’t going to just give her body away to someone who doesn’t love her. And trust me, when you get past the first bit of awkwardness, she is going to go crazy on you. She likes to initiate things. She likes being in control, as weird as that sounds. But at the same time, she likes being taken care of, caressed and touched and worshiped.”
Yoochun shifted uncomfortably. “I want to. But she …” He broke off, gesturing with his hand.
Yunho chuckled again and put his elbows on the table. “Let me give you a few pointers. Don’t, I repeat do not, touch her dick. Don’t even try. Don’t rub against it, don’t acknowledge it, don’t even look at it. That’s probably the fastest way to turn her off.”
“That explains a lot, actually.”
Yunho nodded. “Trust me when I say you can make her come without touching it. She hates it when it’s touched. She’s comfortable with her body, but … well, you know how girls are. There’s always that one thing about their body that they hate. This is hers. She also knows that she does not have female parts, so never talk about her pussy or her clit or her breasts. Well, the last one is debatable, but she feels like you’re patronizing her if you tell her stuff like that.”
Yoochun felt the red on his cheeks and tried to keep eye contact. He really wished it was Jaehwa telling him this and not her ex-boyfriend.
“You’re uncomfortable, sorry, but there’s really not an easy way to have this conversation.”
“No, there’s not.”
“You’re not gay, are you?”
Yoochun shook his head. “But I’m learning that ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ are just words.”
“And you’re not bisexual?”
“No.”
Yunho looked down at the table. “That might be a problem. I’m bisexual, so there wasn’t really anything I didn’t like about her body.”
Yoochun looked away.
“You’re uncomfortable with her penis.”
“God, just saying that feels wrong.”
“You’re going to have to get over that. Have you felt her hard?”
Yoochun nodded. “A few times, but … well, sometimes I pull away. I forget she’s … I forget about it until it’s against my thigh.”
“In order for her to accept you, you’re going to have to accept it. She isn’t going to get into bed with you if you cringe away from her, even if she understands why you are. I know. Trust me, I know. You have to make sure you are very willing to give up all your previous knowledge and preconceived ideas about sex. Even gay sex, because in her eyes, she isn’t having gay sex.”
Yoochun sighed and looked at the table top. “Sometimes I think it isn’t worth it, that … I don’t know, but then my heart breaks, thinking of life without her, and I know that it is worth it.”
Yunho nodded. “She is worth it, Yoochun-shi. Even if being with Jaehwa can be frustrating, it can also be amazing. She loves sex, of course, and missionary position is her favorite. She’s a romantic at heart and loves kissing and touching more than she loves sex.”
“So if I can’t touch her, and I can’t … then how the hell do I get her to orgasm?”
Yunho smiled. “Just because you don’t touch her with your hands doesn’t mean that no part of you will. It’s if you draw attention to it. That’s part of the reason why you have to get comfortable with the idea of a dick pressed against you. I think I only actually touched her dick once, in the whole year and a half we dated. She is not well-endowed, at all. Probably the smallest dick I’ve ever seen in my life, but that means it’s easier to rub against and stimulate without actually touching her. She loves to be fingered. You’ll have to figure it out on your own. I really hope that you can make her comfortable with herself. Oh, and she is allergic to latex condoms and hates the non-latex ones, so go get yourself tested.”
Yoochun let out a harsh breath. “So get tested, get rid of my condoms, and tell her I love her.”
“Yep.”
“All right.”
Yunho laughed at his resigned tone. “She likes you, Yoochun-shi. If she didn’t, she never would have gone out with you. And even if she won’t say it, she loves you. If she didn’t love you, she wouldn’t have told you her secret. Do you have plans with her tonight?”
“Yeah. We see each other almost every night.”
Yunho smiled. “You’re lucky, Yoochun-shi. I really wish I could have kept her, but she’s not meant for me. Maybe she’s meant for you.”
“God, I hope so.”
Part 4: The Date
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
Part 2: The Talk
Part 1: The Secret
.
Pairing: Yoochun/Jaehwa (Changmin/Junsu, Yunho/Heechul, past Yunho/Jaehwa)
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: They aren't mine to play with.
Summary: Jaehwa is one of the prettiest girls Yoochun has ever met. Yoochun isn't sure how to react when he finds out that Jaehwa is a girl in her mind, but she has the body of a man. Does that change who she is?
Warnings: Transgender!Jaejoong
A/N: Before you start reading, I suggest you familiarize yourself with Gender Identity Disorder. I personally think calling it a disorder is bullshit. There is a lot of controversy over this topic.
If you have questions, or you want to discuss this topic with others, go here: http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/40030.html (you have to be a member of the community, go here to join http://be-dell-addict.livejournal.com/)
A/N Part 2: This fic is dedicated to willowwing because she has gone to great lengths to make her most recent fic realistic, and I hope that I have taken this topic and done the same. And she loves JaeChun, so it's a JaeChun.
Part 3: The Wait
A throat cleared behind him and Yoochun turned as Jaehwa walked into the living room. She had put on Hello-Kitty sleep pants and a pink hoody. Her long hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail. Her cheeks were almost as pink as her clothes. She sank into the opposite side of the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest.
Yoochun turned and sat cross-legged. He held out his hand, but she only looked at it.
“Jaehwa,” he said and she shook her head so he shut up.
She bit her lower lip and chanced a glance up at him.
Yoochun smiled.
“You’re not mad?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“Why would I be mad?”
“I lied to you.”
“Not technically.”
“Yes, well, technically, I have a penis.”
“And technically, you look adorable in those pants.”
She finally lifted her face to glare at him for making a joke.
Yoochun shook his head. “I don’t think you lied to me. You’ve never once acted differently than who and what you are.”
“And what am I? What do you think I am?”
Yoochun grinned and leaned forward. Jaehwa’s chest hitched, but she didn’t try to move away as he crawled over the couch to her. “I think you are a very pretty girl and your lips taste like lemon.”
Her eyes shut, and two tears dripped down her cheeks. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“You don’t think I’m a freak?”
“Well, I’d have to question your taste in music, but no, you’re not a freak.” Yoochun wiped the tears off her cheeks. He planned on kissing her again, but Jaehwa took a deep breath and collapsed into him, clutching at his t-shirt. Yoochun settled back on the couch, pulling Jaehwa down with him. Very lightly, Yoochun loosened the ponytail and ran his hands through her half wet hair.
“Junsu explained some things to me,” Yoochun said, “and I’ve been thinking and reading about some things, and none of it changes the fact that I like you. I think I’ve spent the last eight months proving that.”
“Really, Chunnie-ah?” She sounded like she couldn’t quite believe it.
Yoochun chuckled. “Yes, really.”
His phone suddenly vibrated and he reached for where he left it on the couch.
From: Junsu
DON’T YOU DARE HAVE SEX WITH HER YOU PLAYBOY CASSANOVA
“Your best friend is very protective of you,” he said.
Jaehwa took the phone and read the message and rolled her eyes. She started replying to his text, but Yoochun took the phone from her hands. She looked up at him, and then blushed at the look in his eyes. She wasn’t wearing contacts, just natural brown beautifulness of her eyes. And no makeup. Her skin was beyond perfect. He touched her cheek.
“Can I kiss you again?” Yoochun whispered, leaning down to do just that, but going slow enough that she could move if she wanted to.
Their lips touched. She whimpered and clutched at his wrists. She stayed tense for a long time, but Yoochun refused to give up, or let her go. Very gently, he moved his lips, opening them slightly so they covered her bottom lip, and then Jaehwa moaned, pushed him back and he fell to the couch in surprise. Before he had a chance to apologize, Jaehwa was over him, straddling his waist, hands clutched in his t-shirt. She licked her lips, drawing a moan from Yoochun and then leaned down and practically ate his mouth.
Yoochun had no problem with that. It’d been months since he last properly kissed a girl. He wrapped his arms around her, but when he tried to pull their bodies together, she resisted. Yoochun whimpered and tugged at her hips anyway. He felt her smile, but she stayed above him, and kept kissing him. Biting his lips. Licking his teeth and the roof of his mouth. If it’d been months since he last kissed someone, he wondered how long it had been for her.
Yoochun slid his hands up her back. They caught on her hoody and he almost pushed them under, but decided against it. He slid them over soft cloth and then let them tangle in her loose hair. Holding her firmly, he finally took over the kiss, lifting his head and pulling her down to dig his tongue deeper into her mouth. Jaehwa moaned, and her arms shook from the effort of holding herself up.
Yoochun pulled back, licking the last bit of lemon gloss from her lips. “Please, just … relax.”
Jaehwa bit her lower lip just as Yoochun licked at it. She sighed, eyes shut and let her body fall into Yoochun’s. He smiled and put his arms around her back, this time letting them hit skin, under her hoody. Even the skin of her back was perfectly smooth. Yoochun ran his hands up and down, all around it, lips never leaving hers. They shifted again, and Yoochun almost pulled his hips back, and then decided not to. He was hard as a rock and he wanted Jaehwa to feel it and know that it was because of her.
And if Yoochun hadn’t been thinking about it, there wasn’t much chance of him noticing the small bulge pressed against his leg. His body quivered, because seriously, he was making out with a guy, but as soon as that thought hit him, he dismissed it. He wasn’t kissing a guy. He was kissing Jaehwa.
But he obviously didn’t get rid of the thought fast enough.
Jaehwa gasped and pulled away from him violently. She pushed up and went back to being curled up in a ball. Her back heaved with deep breaths.
“Jae-“
She shook her head. “You … I … can’t do this. Not if you’re …”
“You’re going to have to let me get used to this,” Yoochun said.
Jaehwa sniffed, but nodded.
Yoochun moved to her and put his arms around her body. She buried her face in her arms. He hooked his leg over her arm and scooted close to her. His erection pressed against the back of her thigh. “If I didn’t want this, or if I thought you were gross or something, you think I’d still be hard?”
Jaehwa froze, and then very lightly pushed back against his body. Yoochun moaned and put his face at her neck. His arm wrapped around her waist and he held her, support for the tiny thrusts against her thigh. She turned her head and their lips met again. Softly though. Yoochun knew the moment was over and he pulled back. He rubbed their noses together, and she smiled and kissed him quickly.
“Let me brush your hair,” Yoochun whispered.
Jaehwa paused and then nodded. “Okay.”
Reluctantly, Yoochun released her and she stood up. She kept her eyes lowered, almost embarrassed, and Yoochun glanced at her crotch. There was barely a bulge there, and again, if he hadn’t been looking for it, he might not have noticed it at all. How tiny was this guy?
Yoochun figured he was going to have to wait to find out. Maybe even four more months. Could he go another four months without sex? For Jaehwa, he could. He wanted her to feel comfortable. And if he was honest with himself, he had to get used to the idea that his girlfriend had a dick. Saying he was okay with it and being okay with it were definitely two differently things. Everything was going to be more complicated now. Every step of their relationship was going to take longer.
With a groan, he leaned back on the couch.
“Hate me yet?” Jaehwa asked.
Yoochun pried open an eye and shook his head. She’d changed again, or she’d just taken off the hoody. Now all she wore on her upper body was a purple spaghetti-strap tank top. It was the first time he’d seen her in so little. Her collarbones stuck out a little more than normal girls and her chest was flatter than normal. Yoochun ached to touch her.
“Sexually frustrated,” he finally said after her cheeks had turned pink from his staring.
She smiled and held out her brush. Yoochun took it from her and sat straight. She used his knees and lowered herself to the floor, between his legs. Yoochun carefully brushed her hair. He had no sisters, and his younger brother would smack him if he tried to brush his hair. It was soft and silky and smelled like flowers. When the tangles were out and the locks more or less dry, Yoochun brought them up to his face.
“You’re so corny sometimes,” Jaehwa said and turned to look at him.
Yoochun grinned. “You make me loopy and stupid.”
“Yeah, that is so not my fault,” she said and leaned her cheek on Yoochun’s knee. “Now what?”
Yoochun put his hands under her arms and pulled her up enough for a kiss. “Go get dressed and let me take you to dinner.”
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
February 2012
Yoochun was wrong. It didn’t take four months for their relationship to go to the next level, just three. And it was agonizing. Jaehwa still became embarrassed when they made out, and she still refused to tell Yoochun what to do and how to do it and when to do it. If Jaehwa had a female body, he’d have no problems, but the girl was being frustrating and wouldn’t talk to him about sex.
As a last resort, he went to Junsu.
“I need to talk to you,” Yoochun said.
Junsu snorted. “I was wondering how long it would take for you to come to me.”
“Please, I’m desperate.”
“Yeah, I can tell, and so can anyone else who knows you. How long has it been since you’ve gotten laid?”
“Over a year now.”
“Man.”
“Just help me out, please. She won’t talk to me about it.”
Junsu pondered him for a moment and then smirked. “Fine. But one condition.”
“What?”
“Hook me up with your friend Changmin.”
“He’s straight.”
“Sure, he is.”
“Junsu, trust me.”
“And trust me when I say I’ve seen him stare at my ass.”
“That’s because your ass is huge. I stare at your ass.”
Junsu raised his eyebrows.
“Fine, fine. I’ll give you his number.” Yoochun pulled out his phone and scanned down to his contacts list. He took the pen from Junsu and wrote Changmin’s number on a napkin. “He’s a bastard, just FYI.”
“I like my men feisty.” He folded the napkin and put it in his pocket.
Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Okay. Talk.”
“I can’t help you.”
“Junsu!”
“But Yunho can. Look, Yoochun. Remember. I dated her when we were in high school. When she was still Jaejoong. I don’t know what she wants now. But Yunho will. A number for a number.” Junsu wrote a number down on a napkin and gave it to him. “Call him. He wants to meet you anyway.”
Yoochun stared at the number and made a face. He really did not want to call Jaehwa’s ex-boyfriend.
“Now, do you want coffee or not?”
Yoochun nodded absently. He waited until Junsu had put his coffee in a to-go cup and then he left the café. He had plans to meet Jaehwa for a marathon of chick flicks that he was going to fall asleep during. But sometimes, when he fell asleep, Jaehwa woke him up with kisses and that was worth the bad movies. On the way there, he called the number.
A deep voice said, “This is Jung Yunho,” after only two rings.
“Um, hi. This … this is Park Yoochun, and-“
“Yoochun-shi! Hey. Junsu said you’d be calling me soon.”
“Damn that kid,” Yoochun muttered.
Yunho chuckled. “Yeah. He’s an overprotective bastard, but that also means he knows what Jaehwa wants and how to get her to cooperate.”
“That sounds really bad.”
“But true. Do you want to meet today?”
“I can’t. Chick flick marathon.”
“Ah, you poor man.”
“Jaehwa makes it worth it.”
“Indeed she does.”
“I have classes until two tomorrow.”
“I’ll meet you at the campus café then. The one in the business building.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Jaehwa really likes you, Yoochun-shi. Be patient with her.”
“I am. I really like her, too.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Yoochun hung up with a sigh.
-|\|\-|-/|/|-
The next day, Yoochun met Yunho and immediately felt insecure and incomparable. Just by his looks, Yoochun could see what Jaehwa had seen in him. He was tall and strong, very well built, light brown, spiky hair. He was wearing a tailored, pin-striped suit, and Yoochun wondered if maybe he was a little gay because he was automatically drawn to this man.
Yunho caught sight of him and stood up. He offered his hand and they shook. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
“You, too. I’m going to go order coffee. Something tells me I’m going to want something stronger before the end of this conversation, but an hour and a half of stats class has destroyed my brain, and I need caffeine.”
Yunho laughed. Perfect white teeth. Yoochun’s heart sped up a little bit. How had Jaehwa let this one go? He quickly went to the counter and ordered drip coffee. After the Angel Café, no one could make his latte like Junsu or Jaehwa.
He blew on it before taking a sip and headed back to their table. He settled in his seat and Yunho smiled at him again.
“I’m only telling you this because I still care about Jaehwa. I may not love her anymore, or maybe I didn’t love her at all, or just not enough. But I still worry about her, because … well, you know why. She’s special, Yoochun-shi.”
“I know.”
“I had a very hard time letting her go. I don’t know why, or how, but the passion sort of dissipated between us. How long have you been dating?”
“Dating? About seven months, but it was four months before she finally agreed to go out with me.”
“And how long since you found out about …”
“Three months.”
“Wow. She’s really stringing you along. I had her in bed after five.”
Yoochun made a face. “Lucky bastard.”
Yunho laughed. “I’m sure she’s been so reluctant with you because of me. It really hurt us both when we broke up. We were thinking of moving in together, and then, I don’t know, a month later we broke up. I wish I loved her enough. Have you told her that you love her?”
Yoochun shook his head. “I do though; I just don’t know how she’d react to that confession.”
“You should tell her, before you try anything else. She may be making you wait until you tell her. She can be incredibly devious when she wants to be, but she’s still a woman, who watches way too many love movies.”
“God, don’t I know it.”
“Anyway. The reason why we’re here. I had to go by trial and error with her, she seemed comfortable enough with her body, but she was very worried about me liking it. I did like it, a lot. How far have you gone with her?”
Yoochun sighed. “Maybe second base. Maybe. Kissing, touching above the pants, rarely under her shirt. I try, and she moves away from me.”
Yunho nodded. “Well, that’s probably my fault too. She’s probably keeping herself as protected as she can. You need to tell her you love her, because she isn’t going to just give her body away to someone who doesn’t love her. And trust me, when you get past the first bit of awkwardness, she is going to go crazy on you. She likes to initiate things. She likes being in control, as weird as that sounds. But at the same time, she likes being taken care of, caressed and touched and worshiped.”
Yoochun shifted uncomfortably. “I want to. But she …” He broke off, gesturing with his hand.
Yunho chuckled again and put his elbows on the table. “Let me give you a few pointers. Don’t, I repeat do not, touch her dick. Don’t even try. Don’t rub against it, don’t acknowledge it, don’t even look at it. That’s probably the fastest way to turn her off.”
“That explains a lot, actually.”
Yunho nodded. “Trust me when I say you can make her come without touching it. She hates it when it’s touched. She’s comfortable with her body, but … well, you know how girls are. There’s always that one thing about their body that they hate. This is hers. She also knows that she does not have female parts, so never talk about her pussy or her clit or her breasts. Well, the last one is debatable, but she feels like you’re patronizing her if you tell her stuff like that.”
Yoochun felt the red on his cheeks and tried to keep eye contact. He really wished it was Jaehwa telling him this and not her ex-boyfriend.
“You’re uncomfortable, sorry, but there’s really not an easy way to have this conversation.”
“No, there’s not.”
“You’re not gay, are you?”
Yoochun shook his head. “But I’m learning that ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ are just words.”
“And you’re not bisexual?”
“No.”
Yunho looked down at the table. “That might be a problem. I’m bisexual, so there wasn’t really anything I didn’t like about her body.”
Yoochun looked away.
“You’re uncomfortable with her penis.”
“God, just saying that feels wrong.”
“You’re going to have to get over that. Have you felt her hard?”
Yoochun nodded. “A few times, but … well, sometimes I pull away. I forget she’s … I forget about it until it’s against my thigh.”
“In order for her to accept you, you’re going to have to accept it. She isn’t going to get into bed with you if you cringe away from her, even if she understands why you are. I know. Trust me, I know. You have to make sure you are very willing to give up all your previous knowledge and preconceived ideas about sex. Even gay sex, because in her eyes, she isn’t having gay sex.”
Yoochun sighed and looked at the table top. “Sometimes I think it isn’t worth it, that … I don’t know, but then my heart breaks, thinking of life without her, and I know that it is worth it.”
Yunho nodded. “She is worth it, Yoochun-shi. Even if being with Jaehwa can be frustrating, it can also be amazing. She loves sex, of course, and missionary position is her favorite. She’s a romantic at heart and loves kissing and touching more than she loves sex.”
“So if I can’t touch her, and I can’t … then how the hell do I get her to orgasm?”
Yunho smiled. “Just because you don’t touch her with your hands doesn’t mean that no part of you will. It’s if you draw attention to it. That’s part of the reason why you have to get comfortable with the idea of a dick pressed against you. I think I only actually touched her dick once, in the whole year and a half we dated. She is not well-endowed, at all. Probably the smallest dick I’ve ever seen in my life, but that means it’s easier to rub against and stimulate without actually touching her. She loves to be fingered. You’ll have to figure it out on your own. I really hope that you can make her comfortable with herself. Oh, and she is allergic to latex condoms and hates the non-latex ones, so go get yourself tested.”
Yoochun let out a harsh breath. “So get tested, get rid of my condoms, and tell her I love her.”
“Yep.”
“All right.”
Yunho laughed at his resigned tone. “She likes you, Yoochun-shi. If she didn’t, she never would have gone out with you. And even if she won’t say it, she loves you. If she didn’t love you, she wouldn’t have told you her secret. Do you have plans with her tonight?”
“Yeah. We see each other almost every night.”
Yunho smiled. “You’re lucky, Yoochun-shi. I really wish I could have kept her, but she’s not meant for me. Maybe she’s meant for you.”
“God, I hope so.”
Part 4: The Date
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Part 2: The Talk
Part 1: The Secret
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