FIC: And Now, Because No One Demanded It!
Title: And Now, Because No One Demanded It!
Author: Batty_Gal a.k.a Tetra26
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Pairing: Wolfram x Everyone except Yuuri
Word Count: 1110
Fic Type: Oneshot
Summary: Wolfram has sex with everyone - except Yuuri? Warnings for incest, swearing, slash, het, everything. Sheer parody/crack.
And Now, Because No One Demanded It!
By Tetra26 a.k.a Batty Gal
Yuuri couldn't believe his eyes.
It was Wolfram. Naked. On top of Dakaskos.
What the Hell was this?
He watched the fire mazoku plow into the bald man, who apparently was enjoying it. After all, he was begging the blond not to stop.
And Wolfram?
Oh man, he looked absolutely sexy and into what he was doing. Yuuri - who was still stunned - just watched as Wolfram rammed into Dakaskos repeatedly, his face contorting in passion.
Yuuri came to his senses, and eased away from the scene.
No! This was not happening!
Yuuri was not watching Yozak do Wolfram up against a wall.
He was not hearing the blond beg the spy to bang him harder.
No.
He was not looking at him claw into Yozak's shoulders as he kept screwing him. He was not seeing Wolfram bite his lip, whimpering with every thrust.
Yuuri once again left, his body shaking.
Oh my Shinou!
Yuuri had to be imagining this.
There was no way that he was watching Wolfram do Murata doggy style in the shrine.
Nope.
Not at all.
He was not watching as Wolfram's pale butt continued to meet Murata's own, not hearing how the Sage repeatedly gasped and demanded that the fire demon go harder - and faster.
Yuuri ran, his mind completely in shock.
The fuck???
Yuuri was not watching as Wolfram gave head to Conrad while Gwendal did him from behind.
No.
Hell no, even.
He was not hearing Conrad moan out his approval while Gwendal grunted as he slammed into his brother.
His brother!!!
Yuuri fled, and tried his best not to laugh like a maniac.
The shit was this?
No.
Yuuri was not watching Wolfram masturbate, while talking to himself.
No way.
No how.
And Yuuri definitely didn't see Wolfram's eyes change to blue, nor did he hear Wolfram's voice ask himself if he liked it.
He also didn't see Wolfram's eyes immediately change back to green and confirm that he liked it - and beg Shinou for more.
He backed out of the room, slowly.
No.
No.
No no no no no!
Yuuri was not watching Wolfram and Günter 69 on HIS desk.
No! No! No! No! No!
He did not see Wolfram take his mouth off, and swirl his tongue around the tip of the older man's member.
No!
He ran, and jumped in the closest fountain.
F. U. C. K.
N. O.
Yuuri was not watching Anissina use some sort of dildo contraption on Wolfram while he had his face buried between Gisela's legs.
He was not hearing how Gisela begged him to keep his tongue right there as Anissina gleefully continued to plunge that thing into a moaning Wolfram.
Noooooooo!
Yuuri bolted, and fainted in the hall.
Negative!
Negative! Negative!
Negative! Negative! Negative!
Yuuri was not watching an orgy between Wolfram, the Maids, and the Shrine Maidens.
He was not watching Lasagna and Sangria fight over who would get to give head to Wolfram, while Doria sat on his face.
Negatory!
Yuuri did back flips away from the room.
Shit. Damn. Motherfucker.
Yuuri was going to unsee it, and was going to unsee it now!
Wolfram was not licking and sucking on his mother's exposed nipples, while the woman laughed and moaned at the same time.
This was not real!
Not at all!
He was too sane to believe it so!
Yuuri moonwalked away from the scene.
Mother Fuck!
No! No! Fuck fuckety fuck no!
Wolfram was NOT riding Shouri.
Yuuri was NOT watching his brother lightly pinch Wolfram's nipples as the blond murmured that it felt much better than when Yuuri did it.
No fucking no!
Wait a minute... better than when he did it?
Better than him?
The Almighty Maou?
Oh Hell to the naw!!!
Yuuri felt the rage pulse through him, and blacked out.
Wolfram, who had been sound asleep and dreaming about donuts for some reason, was startled out of his sleep when a pair of hands yanked him upwards.
“Wha... What's going on?” he asked, and looked at the person who grabbed him.
Yuuri.
Maou Yuuri.
Huh?
“What's wrong?” he asked, alarmed.
“Cheater!”
“What?”
“You cheater!” the Maou bellowed. “How dare you sleep with everyone in the damn castle, as well as my brother! How dare you imply that my brother does it better than me?!!”
Wolfram was at a loss for words. He simply stared at the Maou, as if he'd grown another head.
“Well, how dare you?!!”
“Yuuri... I'm only sleeping with you. What the Hell has gotten into you?” Wolfram asked, confused.
“I don't mean in the same bed, I mean in the sexual way!”
“Same answer, either way.”
“Really? Then that was all a dream, then?” the Maou said, softly. His powers faded out, leaving behind his regular, still conscious self.
“What the Hell kind of dream were you having?”
“I dreamed that you slept with everyone... except me,” Yuuri said.
“And it was so real that you woke me out of my sleep just to accuse me of... cheating? And, you were so jealous about it that you went Maou?”
Yuuri looked at Wolfram without responding.
Wolfram, who was about 3.5 seconds away from going upside Yuuri's head with a fireball, narrowed his eyes once what Yuuri had said seeped into his brain.
“When you say everyone in the castle, who did you mean?”
“Dakaskos. Yozak. Anissina and Gisela. Murata. Shinou. The Maids. The Shrine Maidens. Shouri. Even your brothers and mother.”
“And I had sex with them all?”
“Yes.”
“My... brothers?”
“Exactly.”
Yuuri waited, watching to see if Wolfram would become as bothered about it as he was. After a few moments of the blond staring at him with a pensive look on his face, Wolfram spoke up.
“Yuuri?”
“Yes?”
“I need explicit details. Now.”
“What?!!”
Author's note: One wonders how that conversation went, but I'll leave it up to the imagination that you have now been cursed with. Title is taken from a Deadpool comic - which was a parody of those old comic books that would say something like “And now, because you demanded it!”. No one demanded this - which is why I wrote it. The next time you watch KKM you will remember this atrocity and your face will become as red as Anissina's hair (Hey Wolfram, is she a natural redhead? You would know thanks to this fic mwuahahahaha!). You can't unsee it! I don't think this one can be put on FF.net, what do y'all think?
Author: Batty_Gal a.k.a Tetra26
Rating: NC-17
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Pairing: Wolfram x Everyone except Yuuri
Word Count: 1110
Fic Type: Oneshot
Summary: Wolfram has sex with everyone - except Yuuri? Warnings for incest, swearing, slash, het, everything. Sheer parody/crack.
And Now, Because No One Demanded It!
By Tetra26 a.k.a Batty Gal
Yuuri couldn't believe his eyes.
It was Wolfram. Naked. On top of Dakaskos.
What the Hell was this?
He watched the fire mazoku plow into the bald man, who apparently was enjoying it. After all, he was begging the blond not to stop.
And Wolfram?
Oh man, he looked absolutely sexy and into what he was doing. Yuuri - who was still stunned - just watched as Wolfram rammed into Dakaskos repeatedly, his face contorting in passion.
Yuuri came to his senses, and eased away from the scene.
No! This was not happening!
Yuuri was not watching Yozak do Wolfram up against a wall.
He was not hearing the blond beg the spy to bang him harder.
No.
He was not looking at him claw into Yozak's shoulders as he kept screwing him. He was not seeing Wolfram bite his lip, whimpering with every thrust.
Yuuri once again left, his body shaking.
Oh my Shinou!
Yuuri had to be imagining this.
There was no way that he was watching Wolfram do Murata doggy style in the shrine.
Nope.
Not at all.
He was not watching as Wolfram's pale butt continued to meet Murata's own, not hearing how the Sage repeatedly gasped and demanded that the fire demon go harder - and faster.
Yuuri ran, his mind completely in shock.
The fuck???
Yuuri was not watching as Wolfram gave head to Conrad while Gwendal did him from behind.
No.
Hell no, even.
He was not hearing Conrad moan out his approval while Gwendal grunted as he slammed into his brother.
His brother!!!
Yuuri fled, and tried his best not to laugh like a maniac.
The shit was this?
No.
Yuuri was not watching Wolfram masturbate, while talking to himself.
No way.
No how.
And Yuuri definitely didn't see Wolfram's eyes change to blue, nor did he hear Wolfram's voice ask himself if he liked it.
He also didn't see Wolfram's eyes immediately change back to green and confirm that he liked it - and beg Shinou for more.
He backed out of the room, slowly.
No.
No.
No no no no no!
Yuuri was not watching Wolfram and Günter 69 on HIS desk.
No! No! No! No! No!
He did not see Wolfram take his mouth off, and swirl his tongue around the tip of the older man's member.
No!
He ran, and jumped in the closest fountain.
F. U. C. K.
N. O.
Yuuri was not watching Anissina use some sort of dildo contraption on Wolfram while he had his face buried between Gisela's legs.
He was not hearing how Gisela begged him to keep his tongue right there as Anissina gleefully continued to plunge that thing into a moaning Wolfram.
Noooooooo!
Yuuri bolted, and fainted in the hall.
Negative!
Negative! Negative!
Negative! Negative! Negative!
Yuuri was not watching an orgy between Wolfram, the Maids, and the Shrine Maidens.
He was not watching Lasagna and Sangria fight over who would get to give head to Wolfram, while Doria sat on his face.
Negatory!
Yuuri did back flips away from the room.
Shit. Damn. Motherfucker.
Yuuri was going to unsee it, and was going to unsee it now!
Wolfram was not licking and sucking on his mother's exposed nipples, while the woman laughed and moaned at the same time.
This was not real!
Not at all!
He was too sane to believe it so!
Yuuri moonwalked away from the scene.
Mother Fuck!
No! No! Fuck fuckety fuck no!
Wolfram was NOT riding Shouri.
Yuuri was NOT watching his brother lightly pinch Wolfram's nipples as the blond murmured that it felt much better than when Yuuri did it.
No fucking no!
Wait a minute... better than when he did it?
Better than him?
The Almighty Maou?
Oh Hell to the naw!!!
Yuuri felt the rage pulse through him, and blacked out.
Wolfram, who had been sound asleep and dreaming about donuts for some reason, was startled out of his sleep when a pair of hands yanked him upwards.
“Wha... What's going on?” he asked, and looked at the person who grabbed him.
Yuuri.
Maou Yuuri.
Huh?
“What's wrong?” he asked, alarmed.
“Cheater!”
“What?”
“You cheater!” the Maou bellowed. “How dare you sleep with everyone in the damn castle, as well as my brother! How dare you imply that my brother does it better than me?!!”
Wolfram was at a loss for words. He simply stared at the Maou, as if he'd grown another head.
“Well, how dare you?!!”
“Yuuri... I'm only sleeping with you. What the Hell has gotten into you?” Wolfram asked, confused.
“I don't mean in the same bed, I mean in the sexual way!”
“Same answer, either way.”
“Really? Then that was all a dream, then?” the Maou said, softly. His powers faded out, leaving behind his regular, still conscious self.
“What the Hell kind of dream were you having?”
“I dreamed that you slept with everyone... except me,” Yuuri said.
“And it was so real that you woke me out of my sleep just to accuse me of... cheating? And, you were so jealous about it that you went Maou?”
Yuuri looked at Wolfram without responding.
Wolfram, who was about 3.5 seconds away from going upside Yuuri's head with a fireball, narrowed his eyes once what Yuuri had said seeped into his brain.
“When you say everyone in the castle, who did you mean?”
“Dakaskos. Yozak. Anissina and Gisela. Murata. Shinou. The Maids. The Shrine Maidens. Shouri. Even your brothers and mother.”
“And I had sex with them all?”
“Yes.”
“My... brothers?”
“Exactly.”
Yuuri waited, watching to see if Wolfram would become as bothered about it as he was. After a few moments of the blond staring at him with a pensive look on his face, Wolfram spoke up.
“Yuuri?”
“Yes?”
“I need explicit details. Now.”
“What?!!”
Author's note: One wonders how that conversation went, but I'll leave it up to the imagination that you have now been cursed with. Title is taken from a Deadpool comic - which was a parody of those old comic books that would say something like “And now, because you demanded it!”. No one demanded this - which is why I wrote it. The next time you watch KKM you will remember this atrocity and your face will become as red as Anissina's hair (Hey Wolfram, is she a natural redhead? You would know thanks to this fic mwuahahahaha!). You can't unsee it! I don't think this one can be put on FF.net, what do y'all think?