Under His Wing, Ch. 3
Title: Under His Wing, Ch. 3
Rating: G
Word count: 915
Notes: This is set in the Teen Titans toonverse, with guest appearance by Tim Drake. Yes, I am aware that does not compute. Just go with it.
Warning: Fourth wall breakage. Mostly by Robins, current or former.
Summary: Cyborg tries to understand just what is going on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters, no matter how many comic books and DVDs are scattered around me right now.
Comments: Yes, please! I'd like to know if you like this, or even just if you read it.
Previous Chapter(s): Chapter One , Chapter Two
“Okay, so lemme get this straight. Last night you,” Cyborg pointed to Tim, dubbed Red, “were in Gotham. You felt like you were being watched. All your usual enemies are in jail or Arkham, gang activity is low, nothing to explain the creepy crawlies. Then, as you finish patrol, you see white fluff, and take off running.”
“Yes. Plot bunnies are no joke,” Red said seriously.
“Uh-huh. So you are running from a swarm of bunnies. Something bites you-”
“A cuddle bunny,” Red interrupts.
“A cuddle bunny,” Cyborg says it as if it pains him, “bites you. You keep running, and find yourself on Titan’s island, with your big brother, Robin, out front.”
“Uh-huh. Right so far,” Red confirms.
“You hide behind him, and he throws one of his disk-thingies, which vaporizes the bunnies. Robin, why do you have a disk strong enough to vaporize a whole herd of bunnies?”
“So I can vaporize an entire herd of plot bunnies if I need to,” Robin said in a tone that made it clear he was stating the obvious.
“O-kaay. Moving right along. The bunnies are vaporized, so you show him your bite. Recognizing it as a cuddle bunny,” Cyborg shivers, “bite, Robin wraps his cape around you. The cape is suddenly ankle length because an “as the plot demands” bunny, the sole survivor of the vaporization, bit the cape.”
“Correct.”
“You,” Cyborg says to Robin, “bash the bunny on your cape against a rock, killing it, which causes it to dissolve into a dust bunny and blow away.”
“Yes. This is part of how plot bunnies escape detection,” Robin explains.
“Riiiiiight. So after killing the bunny, you take your little brother, also a Robin, upstairs to the couch. Because he has been bitten by a cuddle bunny,” Cyborg’s wince is smaller this time, but still noticeable, “you sleep on the couch, with Red under your cape.”
“Proper treatment for a bite from a cuddle bunny is cuddling from a family member or loved one. If the person bitten by a cuddle bunny does not get cuddling from a safe source, they will often seek out someone they have strong emotions towards. The best case scenario in this situation is seeking out a friend, though more often they end up seeking out someone they have repressed affection for. If no one they have strong positive emotions towards is available for cuddling, they often resort to seeking out enemies, people they have strong negative emotions for. Don’t take any plot bunnies lightly. Even cuddle bunnies can lead to disastrous situations,” Robin lectured in a serious tone. “And Red slept. I stayed awake and kept watch.”
Cyborg stared blankly at Robin for a long moment. A cricket chirped. Everyone turned to glare at Beast Boy. He froze, and turned back into his humanoid form.
“What?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
Red X sat back down next to his brothers with a carton of Chinese take-out from the fridge. Glancing around, he shrugged, and pulled his mask off.
“A mask under the mask?” Cyborg asked incredulously.
Red X raised an eyebrow behind his red domino and slurped up a bite of the cold leftover noodles.
Shaking his head, Cyborg continued his recap. “So our Robin was the first Robin. Then came Red X, who was the second Robin, because Batman caught him lifting the wheels on the Batmobile, and decided to reward his guts?”
“That’s the only explanation that makes any sense that we can come up with,” Red X agreed.
“He’s Batman. Does he really need a reason?” Raven asked.
“Good point. So then there was Red, who got the job after Robin the second was beaten to death by Joker. You got the job by informing Batman that you had been stalking him and taking pictures, completely undetected, since our Robin had been Batman’s Robin, and you thought he was in need of a Robin since Robin the second had been murdered.”
“That’s a little simplified, but basically correct,” Red said.
“Maybe we should have called you Lemming,” Raven deadpanned.
“Hey, I got better!” Jason quipped with a fake British accent.
“Wow Raven, was that a joke?” Beast Boy asked eagerly. Raven stared at him blankly. Beast Boy fidgeted, then turned to Red.
“So, you have any of these pictures you used to take with you?”
“Sure!” Red pulled a trio of pictures out of one of his belt pouches, offering them to the Titans. “I like to keep pictures of my family with me on patrol. Look, here’s a Batman next to the bat-signal, Robin the first flying on a d-cell line, and Robin the second knocking out a few teeth.”
Peering at the pictures, Starfire gasped. “Robin, where are your pants?”
“Neither of them have pants on! Just these tiny green short-shorts!” Beast Boy exclaimed, staring at the pictures.
“There’s a reason I stole the Red X costume. The short pants were definitely a part of that reason,” Red X said very, very dryly.
There was a moment of sage nodding from pretty much everyone as they accepted the reasoning presented by Red X.
Looking from one dark-haired, masked boy to another, Cyborg confirmed, “And you’re all brothers, but not by blood, though you all look related?”
“What can I say, Batman has a type,” Red X snarked. “We’ve even got the same eye color.”
“Please, what color is that?” Starfire asked eagerly.
Tapping his white-out lenses, Red X grinned. “White.”
Chapter 4
Rating: G
Word count: 915
Notes: This is set in the Teen Titans toonverse, with guest appearance by Tim Drake. Yes, I am aware that does not compute. Just go with it.
Warning: Fourth wall breakage. Mostly by Robins, current or former.
Summary: Cyborg tries to understand just what is going on.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters, no matter how many comic books and DVDs are scattered around me right now.
Comments: Yes, please! I'd like to know if you like this, or even just if you read it.
Previous Chapter(s): Chapter One , Chapter Two
“Okay, so lemme get this straight. Last night you,” Cyborg pointed to Tim, dubbed Red, “were in Gotham. You felt like you were being watched. All your usual enemies are in jail or Arkham, gang activity is low, nothing to explain the creepy crawlies. Then, as you finish patrol, you see white fluff, and take off running.”
“Yes. Plot bunnies are no joke,” Red said seriously.
“Uh-huh. So you are running from a swarm of bunnies. Something bites you-”
“A cuddle bunny,” Red interrupts.
“A cuddle bunny,” Cyborg says it as if it pains him, “bites you. You keep running, and find yourself on Titan’s island, with your big brother, Robin, out front.”
“Uh-huh. Right so far,” Red confirms.
“You hide behind him, and he throws one of his disk-thingies, which vaporizes the bunnies. Robin, why do you have a disk strong enough to vaporize a whole herd of bunnies?”
“So I can vaporize an entire herd of plot bunnies if I need to,” Robin said in a tone that made it clear he was stating the obvious.
“O-kaay. Moving right along. The bunnies are vaporized, so you show him your bite. Recognizing it as a cuddle bunny,” Cyborg shivers, “bite, Robin wraps his cape around you. The cape is suddenly ankle length because an “as the plot demands” bunny, the sole survivor of the vaporization, bit the cape.”
“Correct.”
“You,” Cyborg says to Robin, “bash the bunny on your cape against a rock, killing it, which causes it to dissolve into a dust bunny and blow away.”
“Yes. This is part of how plot bunnies escape detection,” Robin explains.
“Riiiiiight. So after killing the bunny, you take your little brother, also a Robin, upstairs to the couch. Because he has been bitten by a cuddle bunny,” Cyborg’s wince is smaller this time, but still noticeable, “you sleep on the couch, with Red under your cape.”
“Proper treatment for a bite from a cuddle bunny is cuddling from a family member or loved one. If the person bitten by a cuddle bunny does not get cuddling from a safe source, they will often seek out someone they have strong emotions towards. The best case scenario in this situation is seeking out a friend, though more often they end up seeking out someone they have repressed affection for. If no one they have strong positive emotions towards is available for cuddling, they often resort to seeking out enemies, people they have strong negative emotions for. Don’t take any plot bunnies lightly. Even cuddle bunnies can lead to disastrous situations,” Robin lectured in a serious tone. “And Red slept. I stayed awake and kept watch.”
Cyborg stared blankly at Robin for a long moment. A cricket chirped. Everyone turned to glare at Beast Boy. He froze, and turned back into his humanoid form.
“What?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
Red X sat back down next to his brothers with a carton of Chinese take-out from the fridge. Glancing around, he shrugged, and pulled his mask off.
“A mask under the mask?” Cyborg asked incredulously.
Red X raised an eyebrow behind his red domino and slurped up a bite of the cold leftover noodles.
Shaking his head, Cyborg continued his recap. “So our Robin was the first Robin. Then came Red X, who was the second Robin, because Batman caught him lifting the wheels on the Batmobile, and decided to reward his guts?”
“That’s the only explanation that makes any sense that we can come up with,” Red X agreed.
“He’s Batman. Does he really need a reason?” Raven asked.
“Good point. So then there was Red, who got the job after Robin the second was beaten to death by Joker. You got the job by informing Batman that you had been stalking him and taking pictures, completely undetected, since our Robin had been Batman’s Robin, and you thought he was in need of a Robin since Robin the second had been murdered.”
“That’s a little simplified, but basically correct,” Red said.
“Maybe we should have called you Lemming,” Raven deadpanned.
“Hey, I got better!” Jason quipped with a fake British accent.
“Wow Raven, was that a joke?” Beast Boy asked eagerly. Raven stared at him blankly. Beast Boy fidgeted, then turned to Red.
“So, you have any of these pictures you used to take with you?”
“Sure!” Red pulled a trio of pictures out of one of his belt pouches, offering them to the Titans. “I like to keep pictures of my family with me on patrol. Look, here’s a Batman next to the bat-signal, Robin the first flying on a d-cell line, and Robin the second knocking out a few teeth.”
Peering at the pictures, Starfire gasped. “Robin, where are your pants?”
“Neither of them have pants on! Just these tiny green short-shorts!” Beast Boy exclaimed, staring at the pictures.
“There’s a reason I stole the Red X costume. The short pants were definitely a part of that reason,” Red X said very, very dryly.
There was a moment of sage nodding from pretty much everyone as they accepted the reasoning presented by Red X.
Looking from one dark-haired, masked boy to another, Cyborg confirmed, “And you’re all brothers, but not by blood, though you all look related?”
“What can I say, Batman has a type,” Red X snarked. “We’ve even got the same eye color.”
“Please, what color is that?” Starfire asked eagerly.
Tapping his white-out lenses, Red X grinned. “White.”
Chapter 4