(Untitled)

Sep 19, 2006 13:23

Hmm. Usually I'm not terribly literal-minded about some of the bodytags writers use, e.g. "His eyes roamed over her" does not make me think the squishy orbs popped out of his head and rolled about.

But I just read “[dialogue] he said, grinning into her eyes" and it made me twitch. Get your mouth off my eyes!

bad prose

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Comments 6

deannahoak September 19 2006, 17:34:15 UTC
It's better than the "her eyes exploded with joy" that I have to continually edit out of one author's work....

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iagor September 19 2006, 17:47:31 UTC
I once has a slush with a brilliant eye tag, which I would quote but tis not ethical. Let me put it to you this way: no matter how I read it, the eyes ended up on the car's windshield.

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erastes September 19 2006, 18:19:54 UTC
ick! HOrrid!

But OMG cute pire-cat!

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coolmajaka September 19 2006, 18:43:32 UTC
Get your mouth off my eyes!

Gee whilikers, some girls like that ;)

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barbarienne September 19 2006, 20:35:10 UTC
I think it's the grinning...it just looks (in my head) too much like he's about to eat her eyeballs.

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