Well I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I am reading this :) And the bad news is that I feel the same way as you :( It sucks, I know. It's really hard figuring out what is going through your mind, you need someone to help you figure it out and give you meanings, but you just don't trust anybody enough. They'll think you're a freak for thinking such things and saying such things. You think nobody else has problems like this, but trust me, they do. I know.
hey, ma'fucka! you're loved by us all (or all of us? maybe i misplaced everything), but is kinda hard to express certains feelings like this one, and you know this....anyway, try to be more candid with your own feelings, not with the other feelings about you...thats what i think, for sure. ah, i've read your post, hence i only need (or want) to reinfoce my theory that you're such a lovable friend, who'll have all the support that you deserve, no matter how hard it'll be for us, real friends. it's a matter of circunstance, not importance. the importance is equal (maximum level, just like the games) for all, even if the situation dont pretend to be like this...
and, sure, sorry 'bout my bad english. long time without writing, just reading...my effort doesnt work so well....i hope you can comprehend everything.
Awww, Banin!!! I know it's hard when you don't think you have anyone to talk to but there are lots of other people who feel the same way but don't think THEY have anyone to talk to either so they also keep it hidden... I dunno... it's definately hard but you're not alone & you know we love you!!! You're one of my best friends!!! And please don't think that "regular" people don't have problems... when I was in high school I was thought to be this total freak but sometimes these really normal girls would come up to me & ask me for razor blades so they could kill themselves (no, I didn't give them any) or tell me that they'd drank bleach one day in order to die & I'm like, WTF, you're a normal person... you can't be depressed & THAT depressed???? You don't know a person until you talk to them so... maybe you should try talking to them & maybe you'll be surprised at what you find... Anyway, I wish you luck & you know you can always talk to me!! Even if it's just by email but we find each other online now & then... anyway... talk to you
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Oh my banin darling!! I know exactly how you feel and it sucks. I'm sorry. I'm in the same position and it's just no fun at all. I wish I could be there for you in Brazil, but you can always talk to me - or mikki or marla or greg, etc.
banin I'm sorry to hear how things are going for you right now. Many of us have been there and at times I feel that about others and myself too. I just end up repressing it nowadays and it only really catches up with me when I am burned-out from school or work and nobody is around to truly communicate with. It's also a catch-22 because sometimes youre damned if you do pour your heart and soul out to someone because they are turned off by it--but if you keep it inside youre damned because you do not have a healthy outlet. For me when it got to the point of actual suicide attempts--I went to a psychologist. For me it was the best thing I could have ever done. I didn't feel as if I was burdening my 'friends' or family with doom and gloom and the doctor said some helpful stuff. and if for nothing she listened to me get it all out--and it was confidential and cathartic
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and, sure, sorry 'bout my bad english. long time without writing, just reading...my effort doesnt work so well....i hope you can comprehend everything.
see ya, man
perez, el latinoamericano
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*smooches and hugs*
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