Reborn In a Dream
Written for this prompt at buckleup_meme .
Jim starts singing, and Bones falls apart. H/C Reaper!Bones
Jim was moving around Len's quarters, absently cleaning up little messes that Len hadn't gotten to yet. As is habit, he was singing some song from centuries before. Len wasn't really listening, at least not to the words. Jim had a good voice, strong and level, so it wasn't a hardship to hear him singing all the time, which he did, at least when they were alone. Then slowly, the lyrics themselves trickled into his brain (more likely the part of him that remembered abso-fuckin-lutely everything was bringing them to his attention), and he had to bite back a curse.
"I’m a reaper of beautiful dreams
And she knows
I’m on the edge; sacrilege [Push me over]
Tell me once upon a time
I close my eyes
And see myself reborn" Jim sang, oblivious to Len's discomfort.
Len knew that song; it was written for him, after all. He hadn't heard it since the Eugenics Wars, when it was sung as a battle hymn, and he thought for sure that it had been lost. It's in an arrangement that he knew very well; he helped write it, way back when. He had to close his eyes against the memories, fighting with that part of him that remembered everything to keep them from coming to the surface.
"I won’t stay to stand in line
Or wait for God to shine all over me
I wait for the storm
I am you
And I know that you heard
You and I are the last
At the end of the world
Then we talk
And we run
And we hide
Then so what
The human race
Suffocates [leave me breathless]"
Len got up suddenly, needing to move as Reaper swelled within him. This was too much, too close, and he didn't even know if Jim knew who the hell he was singing about. He retreated into the bathroom, leaning against the wall, trying to get his breathing under control, to push Reaper back where he belonged, into his memories. Jim's voice was still coming in through the closed door, and he forced himself not to hear the words.
But the words came through even then and he slid down the wall, tears forming and falling unconsciously. He didn't want the memories, even the good ones, because everyone from that life was gone; Sam still had decendents around,of course, but he wasn't in contact with them, at least not to the extent that they knew him near close enough to even talk to him.
But the memories were coming, faster and faster, and even with the last words of the song, his salvation, they wouldn't leave.
"Move along
Through the ashes of a dream
Move along
And see myself anew again-" The door opened; he'd forgotten to lock it. "Bones? You fall in or - Bones! Hey, Bones!" Jim grabbed him, and he just leaned into the touch, hands up by his ears, trying to block out the screams of his friends, the men he worked with, his family. "Bones, Len, please, talk to me, baby!"
----------------------------------------
"Bones!" Jim shook him, alarmed when the tears just flowed faster. "Len, please, baby, talk to me, what's wrong?" He carried him out of the bathroom and placed him on his bunk, wrapping around him. Bones had never fallen apart like this, and it was scaring him.
"...of them... Because I couldn't...." Bones' mumbles weren't very coherent, but Jim gathered that something bad had happened, but he couldn't figure out what.
"Bones? Who? Who's them? And what couldn't you do?"
"I am scorn in this heavenly scheme
With a stench of destruction
I am a reaper of beautiful dreams..." The words were sung in a clear baritone, Bones' voice, and he looked, really looked at his lover of seven years.
"Bones... What are you talking about? How did that song trigger... this?"
"... about me, my life, my failures." Bones was calming down now, he could see, trying to scrub the tears from his face. "Computer: Access UAC File Omega-Hotel-oh-9, Authorization Reaper."
"Please provide DNA verification," the computer said, and Bones pressed a hand to a panel near his bed, which chirped, and the screen on the wall across from the bed, normally a vid screen, lit up with pages and pictures, of blood and death, and monsters.
"That's what the song is about, Jim," Bones said, and Jim could hear the undercurrent of another accent, something far more South than his normal Georgian drawl.
"Bones-"
"I shoulda told you sooner, Jim. What I am, where I come from. I only hope you won't hate me when you finish." And Bones got up and walked out of his own quarters, leaving Jim alone with a screen full of information to slog through, none of it pleasant.
----------------------------
Len went to the Observation Deck, hoping looking at the stars would help. Of course, he kept a healthy distance from the clear material (thank god it wasn't glass), even though it was the same thickness as the regular hull. He'd taken to doing something like this, whenever Reaper showed up in his psyche, and if he hadn't needed it after the song, he definitely needed it after bringing up the files on Olduvai.
He wasn't sure how long he stood there before Jim's arms wrapped around his torso, and Jim's chin landed on his shoulder. He could smell salt; Jim had been crying, sobbing most likely, from the strength of the scent. He leaned back into the embrace for a moment before turning so that he was holding Jim. It was a good sign that Jim had hugged him instead of going for the other approach, which was calling out from the door, and then starting a fight.
"So what do I call you?" Jim finally asked, head tucked under Len's chin and face buried in his shirt.
"I like Bones just fine, Jim. That stuff's past. I'm sorry, the song, it just-"
"I get it, Bones, I do. And none of that back then was your fault, you hear me? No matter what those fuckholes said back then, you did what you had to do, did what was right. So don't you go blaming yourself for them, none of them except Sarge, and he was gonna rot in Hell anyway. You just got him there before he could take anyone else with him."
"I'm not supposed to be a killer, Jim," he insisted, feeling the familiar disgust rising in his gut. "I'm a healer, even then I was a medic, and then I killed all of those people... Jim, I'm a monster."
"I know you, Bones, and I love you. You are NOT a monster. YOu were a brave man, forced to do terrible things, but you stayed true to ethics and morals, just like you were supposed to. I don't want to hear you say anything about being a monster, ever again. Because I know Leonard McCoy, and Leonard McCoy shares a hell of a lot with John Grimm. So I feel like I know John, too."
The words seared into him, exuisitely painful and yet the best thing he's heard in a long time. He rested his cheek on top of Jim's head as the tears began again. "I don't deserve you, James Kirk," he said roughly, before lifting Jim's chin and kissing him, a slow thing that conveys every emotion he's feeling, from the helpless guilt and rage to the overwhelming love he has for the amazing man before him.
"Yeah, well, you have me, so what does that tell you?" Jim asked lightly, once the kiss ended, and the smile on his face burned away :en's fear and anguish, pushing Reaper back into the box he'd created for him, Reaper content to roil for a bit before settling back and away from his conscious.
"That you're a crazy, idiotic infant who I have to make sure lives on a daily basis?" he asked, smiling down into Jim's face before kissing him again, a kiss of happiness and affection. Jim knew, and it was okay. That was what mattered. Later, he knew, Jim would want to see what he could really do; he'd been holding back rather heavily over the years to keep up the guise of country doctor, after all, and Jim never liked to be babied. but that was for later.
Right now, it was just them, and the stars, flying like ashes past the viewer. "Move along, through the ashes of a dream," Jim suddenly sang, and this time, rather than causing pain, they carried the message they were supposed to: salvation, forgiveness.
"Move along, and see myself anew again," he answered, and they stared out into the blackness, both thinking of the future, and not the past.
Jim starts singing, and Bones falls apart. H/C Reaper!Bones
Jim was moving around Len's quarters, absently cleaning up little messes that Len hadn't gotten to yet. As is habit, he was singing some song from centuries before. Len wasn't really listening, at least not to the words. Jim had a good voice, strong and level, so it wasn't a hardship to hear him singing all the time, which he did, at least when they were alone. Then slowly, the lyrics themselves trickled into his brain (more likely the part of him that remembered abso-fuckin-lutely everything was bringing them to his attention), and he had to bite back a curse.
"I’m a reaper of beautiful dreams
And she knows
I’m on the edge; sacrilege [Push me over]
Tell me once upon a time
I close my eyes
And see myself reborn" Jim sang, oblivious to Len's discomfort.
Len knew that song; it was written for him, after all. He hadn't heard it since the Eugenics Wars, when it was sung as a battle hymn, and he thought for sure that it had been lost. It's in an arrangement that he knew very well; he helped write it, way back when. He had to close his eyes against the memories, fighting with that part of him that remembered everything to keep them from coming to the surface.
"I won’t stay to stand in line
Or wait for God to shine all over me
I wait for the storm
I am you
And I know that you heard
You and I are the last
At the end of the world
Then we talk
And we run
And we hide
Then so what
The human race
Suffocates [leave me breathless]"
Len got up suddenly, needing to move as Reaper swelled within him. This was too much, too close, and he didn't even know if Jim knew who the hell he was singing about. He retreated into the bathroom, leaning against the wall, trying to get his breathing under control, to push Reaper back where he belonged, into his memories. Jim's voice was still coming in through the closed door, and he forced himself not to hear the words.
But the words came through even then and he slid down the wall, tears forming and falling unconsciously. He didn't want the memories, even the good ones, because everyone from that life was gone; Sam still had decendents around,of course, but he wasn't in contact with them, at least not to the extent that they knew him near close enough to even talk to him.
But the memories were coming, faster and faster, and even with the last words of the song, his salvation, they wouldn't leave.
"Move along
Through the ashes of a dream
Move along
And see myself anew again-" The door opened; he'd forgotten to lock it. "Bones? You fall in or - Bones! Hey, Bones!" Jim grabbed him, and he just leaned into the touch, hands up by his ears, trying to block out the screams of his friends, the men he worked with, his family. "Bones, Len, please, talk to me, baby!"
----------------------------------------
"Bones!" Jim shook him, alarmed when the tears just flowed faster. "Len, please, baby, talk to me, what's wrong?" He carried him out of the bathroom and placed him on his bunk, wrapping around him. Bones had never fallen apart like this, and it was scaring him.
"...of them... Because I couldn't...." Bones' mumbles weren't very coherent, but Jim gathered that something bad had happened, but he couldn't figure out what.
"Bones? Who? Who's them? And what couldn't you do?"
"I am scorn in this heavenly scheme
With a stench of destruction
I am a reaper of beautiful dreams..." The words were sung in a clear baritone, Bones' voice, and he looked, really looked at his lover of seven years.
"Bones... What are you talking about? How did that song trigger... this?"
"... about me, my life, my failures." Bones was calming down now, he could see, trying to scrub the tears from his face. "Computer: Access UAC File Omega-Hotel-oh-9, Authorization Reaper."
"Please provide DNA verification," the computer said, and Bones pressed a hand to a panel near his bed, which chirped, and the screen on the wall across from the bed, normally a vid screen, lit up with pages and pictures, of blood and death, and monsters.
"That's what the song is about, Jim," Bones said, and Jim could hear the undercurrent of another accent, something far more South than his normal Georgian drawl.
"Bones-"
"I shoulda told you sooner, Jim. What I am, where I come from. I only hope you won't hate me when you finish." And Bones got up and walked out of his own quarters, leaving Jim alone with a screen full of information to slog through, none of it pleasant.
----------------------------
Len went to the Observation Deck, hoping looking at the stars would help. Of course, he kept a healthy distance from the clear material (thank god it wasn't glass), even though it was the same thickness as the regular hull. He'd taken to doing something like this, whenever Reaper showed up in his psyche, and if he hadn't needed it after the song, he definitely needed it after bringing up the files on Olduvai.
He wasn't sure how long he stood there before Jim's arms wrapped around his torso, and Jim's chin landed on his shoulder. He could smell salt; Jim had been crying, sobbing most likely, from the strength of the scent. He leaned back into the embrace for a moment before turning so that he was holding Jim. It was a good sign that Jim had hugged him instead of going for the other approach, which was calling out from the door, and then starting a fight.
"So what do I call you?" Jim finally asked, head tucked under Len's chin and face buried in his shirt.
"I like Bones just fine, Jim. That stuff's past. I'm sorry, the song, it just-"
"I get it, Bones, I do. And none of that back then was your fault, you hear me? No matter what those fuckholes said back then, you did what you had to do, did what was right. So don't you go blaming yourself for them, none of them except Sarge, and he was gonna rot in Hell anyway. You just got him there before he could take anyone else with him."
"I'm not supposed to be a killer, Jim," he insisted, feeling the familiar disgust rising in his gut. "I'm a healer, even then I was a medic, and then I killed all of those people... Jim, I'm a monster."
"I know you, Bones, and I love you. You are NOT a monster. YOu were a brave man, forced to do terrible things, but you stayed true to ethics and morals, just like you were supposed to. I don't want to hear you say anything about being a monster, ever again. Because I know Leonard McCoy, and Leonard McCoy shares a hell of a lot with John Grimm. So I feel like I know John, too."
The words seared into him, exuisitely painful and yet the best thing he's heard in a long time. He rested his cheek on top of Jim's head as the tears began again. "I don't deserve you, James Kirk," he said roughly, before lifting Jim's chin and kissing him, a slow thing that conveys every emotion he's feeling, from the helpless guilt and rage to the overwhelming love he has for the amazing man before him.
"Yeah, well, you have me, so what does that tell you?" Jim asked lightly, once the kiss ended, and the smile on his face burned away :en's fear and anguish, pushing Reaper back into the box he'd created for him, Reaper content to roil for a bit before settling back and away from his conscious.
"That you're a crazy, idiotic infant who I have to make sure lives on a daily basis?" he asked, smiling down into Jim's face before kissing him again, a kiss of happiness and affection. Jim knew, and it was okay. That was what mattered. Later, he knew, Jim would want to see what he could really do; he'd been holding back rather heavily over the years to keep up the guise of country doctor, after all, and Jim never liked to be babied. but that was for later.
Right now, it was just them, and the stars, flying like ashes past the viewer. "Move along, through the ashes of a dream," Jim suddenly sang, and this time, rather than causing pain, they carried the message they were supposed to: salvation, forgiveness.
"Move along, and see myself anew again," he answered, and they stared out into the blackness, both thinking of the future, and not the past.