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[torturedslayer]

Willow, I could tell wasn't pleased about leaving me here, but honestly how much damage can Spike do in chains? I felt bad honestly, I don't know why, maybe because I could relate in some twisted way to his situation. I knew that in Buffy and Wesley and Makayla's kitchen there was a mini fridge with blood for when Angel was here, only reason I

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[torturedslayer]

I could hear him in the room, but I wanted to test a theory and there was nothing in the room to do that with. I went to the kitchen and pulled a knife out and returned to the room to hear him pulling at the wall and trying to get free.

I walked in the room and before he could say anything I sliced my wrist and moved towards him. "You want human blood? You want a drink, then by all mean drink from me."

[torturedslayer]

I was going to say something more when he softened a bit. "Just believe me when I say you can be a good man, you can do a lot of good with the knowledge you have gained over the years." I explained.

I didn't even realize that my hand had made its way to rest on top of his, my thumb moving over it to caress. Don't ask me why I did this, it didn't make sense to me, but I did.

"I believe in you." I say one more time.

[mad_poet_spike]

Bloody hell. She's getting to me and I can't stop it anymore, can't pretend that she's not.

"Now don't go saying things like that to a vampire you barely know." I said. I tried to fight, but most of the fight had left. Her caress on my hand actually felt good.

"You're persistent to a bloody annoying fault, you know that?"

[torturedslayer]

I looked away a moment my hand sliding away. I worried I messed up, or something who knows..something in me just panicked. "Sorry." I slid back pushing my back against the wall and looked down as I pulled my knees to my chest. "I guess I just see something in you..."

Several moments of silence pass as I ponder the situation a moment then I look up at him. "I guess it doesn't matter that you didn't let me die..." I whispered "I have been dead since I was 5 anyway."

Then he said I was persistant, I couldn't help but smile a bit. "You should feel lucky, I am not this way all the time."

[mad_poet_spike]

"Yeah, well..." I said. "Enjoy this while it lasts. Once they see the bite mark on your neck, I'll be lucky if they don't pick me up and throw me into the sun

[torturedslayer]

"Everything you just mentioned I have wanted all my life, but I can't have it. My heart may be beating, I may have breath, but I am dead, I have been since the first time he laid a hand on me." I looked into his eyes feeling even more dead inside with each passing moment.

"The only difference between you and I is you are actually dead, yet you are more alive than I will ever hope to be." I could see this look in his eyes, it was hard to discern. "What? You think I have a chance to be happy? You think I can find love and be a normal girl? I can never have that, I can never be normal."

Tears fell as I looked away from him. "I can't be normal." I whispered finally.

[mad_poet_spike]

"Normal is bloody overrated anyway. It's not about being normal. Maybe getting as close to normal as possible, but no one is normal. It doesn't bloody exist."

I kept looking at her, actually feeling sorry for her. Not like I can do much to help her but talk. "And I do think you have the chance to be happy. You just won't allow yourself to be because you think you can't. But you can. You just need to try."

I don't know why I cared about her happiness, but I did. "Don't end up like me, a pathetic waste of space. At least you can out there and get yourself a life."