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[torturedslayer]

Willow, I could tell wasn't pleased about leaving me here, but honestly how much damage can Spike do in chains? I felt bad honestly, I don't know why, maybe because I could relate in some twisted way to his situation. I knew that in Buffy and Wesley and Makayla's kitchen there was a mini fridge with blood for when Angel was here, only reason I

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[mad_poet_spike]

"Yeah, well..." I said. "Enjoy this while it lasts. Once they see the bite mark on your neck, I'll be lucky if they don't pick me up and throw me into the sun."

I looked over at her. One thing she said had actually disturbed me a bit. "You're not dead. Trust me, I know what being dead is like. You are lucky to be alive and have the chance at a...well not normal, but something bloody like it, life." I paused, trying to figure out a way to say what I wanted without completely pissing her off. Oh bloody hell, I just need to say it.

"You should be shopping, drooling over boys, going out with friends, saving said boys and friends from the creatures of the night, and bloody slaying vampires, you know, normal teenage slayer things." I looked over at her, into her pretty eyes. Stop it, Spike. Like you'll ever have the chance with her. Over Buffy and Willow's dead bodies you'll get a chance.

"Instead, you're in a basement with a dead thing, trying to get know a dead thing, wanting to be more dead than bloody alive. That's not a good thing, Julie. You should enjoy that beating heart while you bloody have it."

[torturedslayer]

"Everything you just mentioned I have wanted all my life, but I can't have it. My heart may be beating, I may have breath, but I am dead, I have been since the first time he laid a hand on me." I looked into his eyes feeling even more dead inside with each passing moment.

"The only difference between you and I is you are actually dead, yet you are more alive than I will ever hope to be." I could see this look in his eyes, it was hard to discern. "What? You think I have a chance to be happy? You think I can find love and be a normal girl? I can never have that, I can never be normal."

Tears fell as I looked away from him. "I can't be normal." I whispered finally.

[mad_poet_spike]

"Normal is bloody overrated anyway. It's not about being normal. Maybe getting as close to normal as possible, but no one is normal. It doesn't bloody exist."

I kept looking at her, actually feeling sorry for her. Not like I can do much to help her but talk. "And I do think you have the chance to be happy. You just won't allow yourself to be because you think you can't. But you can. You just need to try."

I don't know why I cared about her happiness, but I did. "Don't end up like me, a pathetic waste of space. At least you can out there and get yourself a life."