"Chemistry": A Baltar/Gaeta Fanmix
In what is probably best described as a fit of obsessive insanity, I created a fanmix for everybody's favorite angst-wracked geek OTP. Fourteen songs in which I tried to capture as many different stages and aspects of their dynamic as possible.
I even made some cover art (admittedly, not very impressive cover art, but considering I was working with Paint and an HP image editer, well, I'm pretty happy with what came out).
So here it is for all of your pleasure, the fruits of my labor.
*want, take, have
*please comment, especially if taking
*feel free to pimp this entry, since we all know our poor little community could use the exposure
DOWNLOAD THE ZIP FILE HERE.
“CONVERSATIONS”, FINGER ELEVEN:
No one calling
But someone is bound to reply
No one out there
But someone hears every word
I know we’re playing the same game
Easing the conscience by
Conversations alone
Complicate us together on our own
Conversations alone
So alone
The road was taken
The path leads on
‘Til a new one’s left to clear
The signal’s given
The show turned on
‘Til emotion cut too near
(And so it begins. Two people, two completely different lives, crossing paths and slowly building a connection between them: a casual one at first, but then emotion has this way of sneaking up on you...)
“BONES”, THE KILLERS:
Don't you wanna come with me
Don't you wanna feel my bones
On your bones
It's only natural
Don’t you wanna swim with me
Don’t you wanna feel my skin
On your skin
It's only natural
(To me, this is a song about one person trying to talk a hesitant other into a meaningless, just-for-fun fling. I think we all know who is who in this scenario, right? Felix is trying to play it cool but he’s not fooling anyone, least of all Gaius.)
“STUPID LITTLE LOVE SONG”, FEFE DOBSON:
You're on the road to Harvard Law
I'm on the bus to Arkansas
I stand in your doorway
Your world looks so enchanting
And all I have to offer you is this
Just a stupid little love song
(Felix at the height of his hero worship adoration. This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, but at the same time it really does capture that feeling you get from having a crush on a person that you think of as way out of your league.)
“I WANT YOU BUT I DON’T NEED YOU”, MOMUS:
I want you
And I want you to want me to want you
But I don't need you
Don't need you to need me to need you
That's just me
So take me or leave me
But please don't need me
Don't need me to need you to need me
(For Gaius, sex has always been easy. Sex he can handle. It’s when other more complicated things start getting involved that he starts to panic, because he just doesn’t know how to deal.)
“MR. BLUE SKY”, ELO:
Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong
Hey there, Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around, see what you do
Everybody smiles at you
(Lieutenant Felix Gaeta. Hopeful, dependable and idealistic…but there’s always that warning undertone waiting to remind you that innocence can never last.)
“SELFISH MAN”, FLOGGING MOLLY:
And life leads me here
It shows me I have never really loved no one but me
Like the time, you slipped through my hand
And I'll never understand
Why I'm such a selfish man
Walk around me, not before me
I pretend not to ignore ye
But I'll compromise if I realize
You can do something for me
(Doctor Gaius Baltar. He’s come far enough to know that he’s not a good person…but not far enough yet to be able to stop himself.)
“I’LL BE YOURS”, PLACEBO:
I'll be your liquor
Bathing your soul
Juice that's pure
And I'll be your anchor
You'll never leave
Shores that cure
Well I've seen you suffer
I've seen you cry for days and days
So I'll be your liquor
Demons will drown and float away
(The beginning of New Caprica. Felix is willing to give up a lot for Gaius; willing to do almost anything for him. It’s easy to want to help someone until you come to realize they’re not going to even try to help themselves.)
“ANOTHER PLACE TO FALL”, KT TUNSTALL:
So find yourself another place to fall
Find yourself up against another brick wall
See yourself as a fallen angel
Well, I don't see no holes in the road but you
Find another place to fall
(CAPRICA SIX: “Four months of this, Gaius. Four months of watching you slip further and further down into this…well of self-hatred and loathing. Do you know what I’ve given up for you? Do you?” [Exodus, Part 1]
These words might have been said by Caprica, but somehow I doubt it’s a problem only she suffers.)
“DONE WITH YOU”, PAPA ROACH:
You’ve made my life completely miserable
You drove me to the edge
You've caused me all this pain
But I've always loved you
‘Cause you’re oh so special
I'm broken, I'm alone and I cannot maintain
(The end of New Caprica, when everything that they ever thought it was and that it ever could have been is falling down around them. When Felix grabs a gun and makes what he probably thinks is going to be his last stand. When it hurts this much, you don’t even think about making it better: you just want to make it stop.)
“LET THE POISON SPILL FROM YOUR THROAT”, THE FAINT:
The people abused
The trust you had
And now you don’t want it back
Just let the poison spill
Spurt from your throat
Hiss like steam
‘Cause the pressure’s unreal
I’m not saying that it’s not
You’re causing a scene
You’re wearing out that note
You scream until it’s gone
You scream until it’s gone…gone…gone
(Two people who are this intelligent, this angry and this bitter, they know that the best way to get back at someone, the best way to wound them deep, is with just the right words.)
“I’M STILL HERE”, VERTICAL HORIZON:
The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
(Double-cross after double-cross, and now all the fires are out and the well has been bled dry. What’s left? What do they do now? Did they even think that they were going to get to live to see this point?)
“THERAPY”, FINGER ELEVEN:
Cut off ‘cause I can’t remember
A face that could cut me deeper
But hearts could never leave me bleeding
Becoming the cause and burden
The lesson begins unlearning
And it has never been forgiving, my dear
It’s all too familiar
I’ve been here before
I’ll carry this weight for your smallest reward
Because I’ll continue to break down the door
Just let me in
I swear it will not be like before
(This is Gaius’ vicious cycle: standing at the bottom and looking up at where he used to be, realizing always just a moment too late what his mistakes are and what terrible choices he’s made.)
“UNTIL THE DAY I DIE”, STORY OF THE YEAR:
Should I bite my tongue
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts
So much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do
(Felix wishes he could feel nothing, because that would be the best. He wishes he could hate, because that would be easier and hurt a lot less. But sometimes, you don’t always have a choice. )
“OCEAN BREATHES SALTY”, MODEST MOUSE:
Well that is that and this is this
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get
You get away from me
You get away from me
Collected my belongings and I left the jail
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell
I had to think awhile
I had to think awhile
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old
Well, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I hope so
(The reaction comes full circle and the elements separate, forever changed from what they once were. This is a note of finality, but one that comes with a question mark at the end: they’re walking away, that’s for certain, but as they go…do they look back over their shoulders? There might, might, still be a chance…but do they even want to try?)
I even made some cover art (admittedly, not very impressive cover art, but considering I was working with Paint and an HP image editer, well, I'm pretty happy with what came out).
So here it is for all of your pleasure, the fruits of my labor.
*want, take, have
*please comment, especially if taking
*feel free to pimp this entry, since we all know our poor little community could use the exposure
DOWNLOAD THE ZIP FILE HERE.
“CONVERSATIONS”, FINGER ELEVEN:
No one calling
But someone is bound to reply
No one out there
But someone hears every word
I know we’re playing the same game
Easing the conscience by
Conversations alone
Complicate us together on our own
Conversations alone
So alone
The road was taken
The path leads on
‘Til a new one’s left to clear
The signal’s given
The show turned on
‘Til emotion cut too near
(And so it begins. Two people, two completely different lives, crossing paths and slowly building a connection between them: a casual one at first, but then emotion has this way of sneaking up on you...)
“BONES”, THE KILLERS:
Don't you wanna come with me
Don't you wanna feel my bones
On your bones
It's only natural
Don’t you wanna swim with me
Don’t you wanna feel my skin
On your skin
It's only natural
(To me, this is a song about one person trying to talk a hesitant other into a meaningless, just-for-fun fling. I think we all know who is who in this scenario, right? Felix is trying to play it cool but he’s not fooling anyone, least of all Gaius.)
“STUPID LITTLE LOVE SONG”, FEFE DOBSON:
You're on the road to Harvard Law
I'm on the bus to Arkansas
I stand in your doorway
Your world looks so enchanting
And all I have to offer you is this
Just a stupid little love song
(Felix at the height of his hero worship adoration. This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, but at the same time it really does capture that feeling you get from having a crush on a person that you think of as way out of your league.)
“I WANT YOU BUT I DON’T NEED YOU”, MOMUS:
I want you
And I want you to want me to want you
But I don't need you
Don't need you to need me to need you
That's just me
So take me or leave me
But please don't need me
Don't need me to need you to need me
(For Gaius, sex has always been easy. Sex he can handle. It’s when other more complicated things start getting involved that he starts to panic, because he just doesn’t know how to deal.)
“MR. BLUE SKY”, ELO:
Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong
Hey there, Mr. Blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around, see what you do
Everybody smiles at you
(Lieutenant Felix Gaeta. Hopeful, dependable and idealistic…but there’s always that warning undertone waiting to remind you that innocence can never last.)
“SELFISH MAN”, FLOGGING MOLLY:
And life leads me here
It shows me I have never really loved no one but me
Like the time, you slipped through my hand
And I'll never understand
Why I'm such a selfish man
Walk around me, not before me
I pretend not to ignore ye
But I'll compromise if I realize
You can do something for me
(Doctor Gaius Baltar. He’s come far enough to know that he’s not a good person…but not far enough yet to be able to stop himself.)
“I’LL BE YOURS”, PLACEBO:
I'll be your liquor
Bathing your soul
Juice that's pure
And I'll be your anchor
You'll never leave
Shores that cure
Well I've seen you suffer
I've seen you cry for days and days
So I'll be your liquor
Demons will drown and float away
(The beginning of New Caprica. Felix is willing to give up a lot for Gaius; willing to do almost anything for him. It’s easy to want to help someone until you come to realize they’re not going to even try to help themselves.)
“ANOTHER PLACE TO FALL”, KT TUNSTALL:
So find yourself another place to fall
Find yourself up against another brick wall
See yourself as a fallen angel
Well, I don't see no holes in the road but you
Find another place to fall
(CAPRICA SIX: “Four months of this, Gaius. Four months of watching you slip further and further down into this…well of self-hatred and loathing. Do you know what I’ve given up for you? Do you?” [Exodus, Part 1]
These words might have been said by Caprica, but somehow I doubt it’s a problem only she suffers.)
“DONE WITH YOU”, PAPA ROACH:
You’ve made my life completely miserable
You drove me to the edge
You've caused me all this pain
But I've always loved you
‘Cause you’re oh so special
I'm broken, I'm alone and I cannot maintain
(The end of New Caprica, when everything that they ever thought it was and that it ever could have been is falling down around them. When Felix grabs a gun and makes what he probably thinks is going to be his last stand. When it hurts this much, you don’t even think about making it better: you just want to make it stop.)
“LET THE POISON SPILL FROM YOUR THROAT”, THE FAINT:
The people abused
The trust you had
And now you don’t want it back
Just let the poison spill
Spurt from your throat
Hiss like steam
‘Cause the pressure’s unreal
I’m not saying that it’s not
You’re causing a scene
You’re wearing out that note
You scream until it’s gone
You scream until it’s gone…gone…gone
(Two people who are this intelligent, this angry and this bitter, they know that the best way to get back at someone, the best way to wound them deep, is with just the right words.)
“I’M STILL HERE”, VERTICAL HORIZON:
The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
(Double-cross after double-cross, and now all the fires are out and the well has been bled dry. What’s left? What do they do now? Did they even think that they were going to get to live to see this point?)
“THERAPY”, FINGER ELEVEN:
Cut off ‘cause I can’t remember
A face that could cut me deeper
But hearts could never leave me bleeding
Becoming the cause and burden
The lesson begins unlearning
And it has never been forgiving, my dear
It’s all too familiar
I’ve been here before
I’ll carry this weight for your smallest reward
Because I’ll continue to break down the door
Just let me in
I swear it will not be like before
(This is Gaius’ vicious cycle: standing at the bottom and looking up at where he used to be, realizing always just a moment too late what his mistakes are and what terrible choices he’s made.)
“UNTIL THE DAY I DIE”, STORY OF THE YEAR:
Should I bite my tongue
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts
So much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do
(Felix wishes he could feel nothing, because that would be the best. He wishes he could hate, because that would be easier and hurt a lot less. But sometimes, you don’t always have a choice. )
“OCEAN BREATHES SALTY”, MODEST MOUSE:
Well that is that and this is this
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get
You get away from me
You get away from me
Collected my belongings and I left the jail
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell
I had to think awhile
I had to think awhile
The ocean breathes salty, won't you carry it in
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old
Well, I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I hope so
(The reaction comes full circle and the elements separate, forever changed from what they once were. This is a note of finality, but one that comes with a question mark at the end: they’re walking away, that’s for certain, but as they go…do they look back over their shoulders? There might, might, still be a chance…but do they even want to try?)