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Seed
She made the transition with little effort.
One moment we’re twenty, comparing dreams and lovers;
the next moment a two-year old in the park with a scraped knee
is calling her “mother,” expecting her to wipe his tears,
falling into the groove between her hip and her breast,
as if he has always belonged there; even before he existed.
She tends ( Read more... ) -
Mother
Mother
We hated god because mother became devoted
after spending several days in the tub, naked,
she emerged like a drunk angel and created
shrines to ridiculous gods, spraying marigolds
and sugar treats, as if inanimate idols can taste
or feel. We wished we were made of metal, or stone.
We invented games where I would ( Read more... ) -
Hermit
My new therapist asked me if I journaled. It occurred to me that I no longer journal. This has happened before - the subconscious struggle to disappear into a haze of unrecorded events and days that blend into one another. But why? I also no longer dream. Actually, on most days I need a crane to get me out of bed, and when I do get out of bed, I'm ( Read more... ) -
Poetry Writing Month - #1.
1. Haiku: The Dam
The man is greedy
He takes more than he should get --
Rivers flow backward.
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Birthed Day
It has been three years, well, actually almost three and a half years since I finished film school. Despite a few lovely silver linings, this period has been very heavy and difficult for me to bear. It started with breaking my leg, then the break-up, then the lack of a breakthrough with my film, then having to leave my home and what had become my ( Read more... ) -
Unmarked Plot
The idea of plots burden me ( Read more... ) -
everything's been said
Sometimes I feel like all the important things have already been said, and all the literature and art that mean anything have already been created, and all that's left for the likes of you and me is Craft and Kvetch. We have no room for art, but we are, indeed, crafty. And when the desire to be crafty fades, well, then we can always kvetch about it ( Read more... ) -
Jane's Cult
I have made some progress. I checked out some books from the library and started doing more research on psychotherapy cults in the 1980s... I feel more certain than ever that Jane was part of a cult. She mentions things like the Gestalt Ritual and someone called an "Orlock" in her diary. Also, "Al" who I at first presumed to be her lover, now seems ( Read more... ) -
More from Jane's Diary
*I found a journal several months ago. It had no name on it, just pages and pages of dense and tortured words. I believe she was on the verge of losing her mind. These are the first few entries.
6/22/83
Mon -
Session on Tues. - don’t know wherefore it came…
Next page:
6/23/83
Street fair -
Seemed that, to me, didn’t feel like we had ( Read more... ) -
Jane's Diary
In a box of abandoned books somewhere in Park Slope, I found the journal of a woman named Jane. It is from 1983. Jane seems psychologically off balance. She talks about daily therapy. Of multiple parts ( Read more... )