(no subject)
This year just continues to be bad. The thing with our grandma hasn't worked out, because she really is too helpless to be taken care of at home. She needs care almost 24 hours a day since she barely sleeps at all and this is simply too much for my mother, who also has to work. The good thing is that we tried and won't have to blame ourselves later.
As for me, I still don't know what to do with my life. I won't go on studying Anthropology and I don't think I'll try Psychology, either. The science is interesting, but I really don't think I'd be a good psychologist. So at the moment my plans are to become a teacher, probably Biology and something else (I'd love to just do English, because it's so damn easy and I like it, but there are too many English teachers already in Germany.)
On the up side, I wrote a lot of fic in the last three days, more than 13,000 words of a longer Smallville piece and this shorter fic, which is sort of a coda of the 5x22 episode "Vessel"
Now i've got to find a place to archive Smallville fic!
The Same in Different Form
Out into the night on this new planet, planet without a future, planet with a future greater than anything Zod has ever done. Zod breathes the air. It is clear, devoid of the green poison. Soon it will be filled with smoke and then the smell of death.
Death should be felt and tasted and seen. Death should be hard and fast and final.
The vessel has seen death.
Jor-El did not grant him even that much.
And Jor-El's son has made the same mistake. He did not kill the vessel. That which is not dead will come back, rise in changed form and wreak vengeance.
Once upon a time, Zod would have killed Kal-El. It was the mercy he intended for Jor-El, before Jor-El condemned him to eternal hell.
Jor-El had sea-green eyes, poison green, green as all things that make life out of sunlight. Jor-El is dead, the fool, gone with Krypton. He betrayed Zod and condemned him and then he left him behind by taking the mercy he would not give Zod, by dying and leaving. He threw away their future for a wife and a child and a doomed world.
Once upon a time, Zod and Jor-El were friends.
Once upon a time, Zod loved Jor-El.
All that is left of Jor-El is his son. He should be Zod's, Zod's alone, because Jor-El owes him that much. Because Zod wants him. He has his father's eyes and is too weak to deny Zod anything.
That is why Zod has not killed Kal-El. Vengeance is what he'll do to this planet, but Kal-El's life belongs to him. Zod will break him and then he'll own him.
The brain-interactive construct has prepared the vessel well. The original plan was to take Kal-El's body, but that would have deprived Zod of so many delicious things.
This vessel can look into Kal-El's eyes and see them breaking, broken. This vessel remembers how Kal-El smiles and how his skin feels to the touch when he's warm and forgiving. Merciful.
Once upon a time, Kal-El was the vessel's friend.
The bitter love is still there and Zod tastes it with relish. Poisoned water to the barren lands of his heart. It'll make his feelings bloom again brightly before they wither and crumble to dust.
Kal-El will look at Zod when he brings him back, and he won't see a stranger. He'll see a friend he has betrayed and he'll look at Zod like Jor-El should have looked at him.
The vessel is perfect. Brainiac has done well.
Zod leaves for the city that is falling apart in the distance. He walks the ground, the fertile soil of Earth, the fields of corns and flowers and living things, and remembers the green rain of poison he wrought from the sky.
The vessel has body memories, memories of walking, of moving smoothly, of fighting, of dancing. Pleasure in motion, fear in restraint. Fear of imprisonment. Knowledge of imprisonment.
They fit smoothly into each other, Zod and his vessel, subtly subverting each other with their resemblance.
He steps into the air, rising, unbound, and discovers that the vessel also has memories of flying. Memories of death. Memories of mercy, given and taken again.
In the distance the city is starting to light up like a torch. But the vessel barely registers. He has been prepared, been hollowed for Zod, but he still lingers, still survives and what he feels is not fear or fury at the destruction of his world.
Lex feels the joy of flight and wonders how it is done. Has theories running through his half-buried conscious.
Zod's vessel is a scientist and so, a very long time ago, was Zod. Zod built Brainiac, and he made poison rain from the sky. Zod made the Fortress for Jor-El, the palace for his prince, the tomb with a voice and a mind.
Zod made his own prison.
Zod will never make another thing. All he'll do is fly and avenge himself and take from this world and Kal-El until nothing more can be given. It's not what he wants, not all that he wants, but all that he can get and he'll damn well get it.
Those are the Lex's thoughts, or maybe they are Zod's. They think exactly alike.
And Zod takes dark satisfaction from the fact that even Jor-El's son has sought out a man like Zod. Has betrayed him, yes, but also loved him, once upon a time. It all arises again, the same in different form.
Noise from the city, falling apart under Zod's eyes. Lex supplies memories of how the city looked whole, and the difference is satisfactory. Zod seeks out the vessel's home, and walks inside. Riches, the like of which would have been poverty on Krypton and there's nothing in here Zod wants. Nothing the vessel wants, either, because all that the vessel wants is what Kal-El had and all that Zod wanted is long gone and destroyed.
Zod wanted Kal-El to join him. It would have been the last and greatest thing Zod created: Krypton on Earth, Jor-El reborn in his son, a paradise for Zod to own.
The vessel wanted Kal-El to join them, because he would take anything he could get of Kal-El, even if it was second hand, even if it was given to Zod and not him, even if it was given unwillingly.
Lex could not take it for himself. Zod understands, remembers not being able to take, back when he still wanted things to be given. But Lex bends easily to Zod's will, because deep down, it is his own desire echoed a thousand times stronger.
Neither controls the other, but they'll own the world.
Zod changes clothes, because he and the vessel agree that this is a special night. Destiny made of vengeance, hard and fast and final like death should be.
Clad in two layers of skin that aren't his own, Zod mounts the top of the towers. Fire beneath him and soon there'll be rain, not green this time, not red, but coloured of ashes and ends.
The city is dying. Kal-El's human family is dead, or will be dead soon.
Behind Zod, the door opens and a girl steps out, talking at him without fear or regard for her dying world. She promises love and loyalty and Zod does not believe her. Neither does Lex.
This is what Zod's vessel knows of the girl: he envied her for Kal-El's devotion. He liked doing business with her, because she didn't want to profit, she wanted the business to work. He trusted her, because she had no means to harm him, too weak, not vicious enough, not strong enough to really take Kal-El from him, not smart enough to betray him. He thought her beautiful and worthy of his love, because that was what Kal-El thought of her.
Lana looks nothing like Lara, but Zod understands.
And Zod hasn't had a woman in a long time and it'll be too long until he has Kal-El.
This'll hurt Kal-El.
Lara did never betray her husband. But this girl already has. This girl will, and with him, and her kisses will taste of poison and vengeance.
Kal-El will have nothing but Zod.
As for me, I still don't know what to do with my life. I won't go on studying Anthropology and I don't think I'll try Psychology, either. The science is interesting, but I really don't think I'd be a good psychologist. So at the moment my plans are to become a teacher, probably Biology and something else (I'd love to just do English, because it's so damn easy and I like it, but there are too many English teachers already in Germany.)
On the up side, I wrote a lot of fic in the last three days, more than 13,000 words of a longer Smallville piece and this shorter fic, which is sort of a coda of the 5x22 episode "Vessel"
Now i've got to find a place to archive Smallville fic!
The Same in Different Form
Out into the night on this new planet, planet without a future, planet with a future greater than anything Zod has ever done. Zod breathes the air. It is clear, devoid of the green poison. Soon it will be filled with smoke and then the smell of death.
Death should be felt and tasted and seen. Death should be hard and fast and final.
The vessel has seen death.
Jor-El did not grant him even that much.
And Jor-El's son has made the same mistake. He did not kill the vessel. That which is not dead will come back, rise in changed form and wreak vengeance.
Once upon a time, Zod would have killed Kal-El. It was the mercy he intended for Jor-El, before Jor-El condemned him to eternal hell.
Jor-El had sea-green eyes, poison green, green as all things that make life out of sunlight. Jor-El is dead, the fool, gone with Krypton. He betrayed Zod and condemned him and then he left him behind by taking the mercy he would not give Zod, by dying and leaving. He threw away their future for a wife and a child and a doomed world.
Once upon a time, Zod and Jor-El were friends.
Once upon a time, Zod loved Jor-El.
All that is left of Jor-El is his son. He should be Zod's, Zod's alone, because Jor-El owes him that much. Because Zod wants him. He has his father's eyes and is too weak to deny Zod anything.
That is why Zod has not killed Kal-El. Vengeance is what he'll do to this planet, but Kal-El's life belongs to him. Zod will break him and then he'll own him.
The brain-interactive construct has prepared the vessel well. The original plan was to take Kal-El's body, but that would have deprived Zod of so many delicious things.
This vessel can look into Kal-El's eyes and see them breaking, broken. This vessel remembers how Kal-El smiles and how his skin feels to the touch when he's warm and forgiving. Merciful.
Once upon a time, Kal-El was the vessel's friend.
The bitter love is still there and Zod tastes it with relish. Poisoned water to the barren lands of his heart. It'll make his feelings bloom again brightly before they wither and crumble to dust.
Kal-El will look at Zod when he brings him back, and he won't see a stranger. He'll see a friend he has betrayed and he'll look at Zod like Jor-El should have looked at him.
The vessel is perfect. Brainiac has done well.
Zod leaves for the city that is falling apart in the distance. He walks the ground, the fertile soil of Earth, the fields of corns and flowers and living things, and remembers the green rain of poison he wrought from the sky.
The vessel has body memories, memories of walking, of moving smoothly, of fighting, of dancing. Pleasure in motion, fear in restraint. Fear of imprisonment. Knowledge of imprisonment.
They fit smoothly into each other, Zod and his vessel, subtly subverting each other with their resemblance.
He steps into the air, rising, unbound, and discovers that the vessel also has memories of flying. Memories of death. Memories of mercy, given and taken again.
In the distance the city is starting to light up like a torch. But the vessel barely registers. He has been prepared, been hollowed for Zod, but he still lingers, still survives and what he feels is not fear or fury at the destruction of his world.
Lex feels the joy of flight and wonders how it is done. Has theories running through his half-buried conscious.
Zod's vessel is a scientist and so, a very long time ago, was Zod. Zod built Brainiac, and he made poison rain from the sky. Zod made the Fortress for Jor-El, the palace for his prince, the tomb with a voice and a mind.
Zod made his own prison.
Zod will never make another thing. All he'll do is fly and avenge himself and take from this world and Kal-El until nothing more can be given. It's not what he wants, not all that he wants, but all that he can get and he'll damn well get it.
Those are the Lex's thoughts, or maybe they are Zod's. They think exactly alike.
And Zod takes dark satisfaction from the fact that even Jor-El's son has sought out a man like Zod. Has betrayed him, yes, but also loved him, once upon a time. It all arises again, the same in different form.
Noise from the city, falling apart under Zod's eyes. Lex supplies memories of how the city looked whole, and the difference is satisfactory. Zod seeks out the vessel's home, and walks inside. Riches, the like of which would have been poverty on Krypton and there's nothing in here Zod wants. Nothing the vessel wants, either, because all that the vessel wants is what Kal-El had and all that Zod wanted is long gone and destroyed.
Zod wanted Kal-El to join him. It would have been the last and greatest thing Zod created: Krypton on Earth, Jor-El reborn in his son, a paradise for Zod to own.
The vessel wanted Kal-El to join them, because he would take anything he could get of Kal-El, even if it was second hand, even if it was given to Zod and not him, even if it was given unwillingly.
Lex could not take it for himself. Zod understands, remembers not being able to take, back when he still wanted things to be given. But Lex bends easily to Zod's will, because deep down, it is his own desire echoed a thousand times stronger.
Neither controls the other, but they'll own the world.
Zod changes clothes, because he and the vessel agree that this is a special night. Destiny made of vengeance, hard and fast and final like death should be.
Clad in two layers of skin that aren't his own, Zod mounts the top of the towers. Fire beneath him and soon there'll be rain, not green this time, not red, but coloured of ashes and ends.
The city is dying. Kal-El's human family is dead, or will be dead soon.
Behind Zod, the door opens and a girl steps out, talking at him without fear or regard for her dying world. She promises love and loyalty and Zod does not believe her. Neither does Lex.
This is what Zod's vessel knows of the girl: he envied her for Kal-El's devotion. He liked doing business with her, because she didn't want to profit, she wanted the business to work. He trusted her, because she had no means to harm him, too weak, not vicious enough, not strong enough to really take Kal-El from him, not smart enough to betray him. He thought her beautiful and worthy of his love, because that was what Kal-El thought of her.
Lana looks nothing like Lara, but Zod understands.
And Zod hasn't had a woman in a long time and it'll be too long until he has Kal-El.
This'll hurt Kal-El.
Lara did never betray her husband. But this girl already has. This girl will, and with him, and her kisses will taste of poison and vengeance.
Kal-El will have nothing but Zod.