Fic: Unusual Excursion
Title: Unusual Excursion
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto, OFC.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1438
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Jack wakes Ianto up early on their day off…
Written For: Weekend Challenge Weird Holidays at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Come on, Ianto! Rise and shine!” Jack shook his lover impatiently.
“Whu?” Ianto mumbled groggily. “Whassamatter?”
“Time to get up! We need to get going while the weather’s still dry. It could be raining later, according to the forecast. I know a bit of rain won’t bother them, but you always complain about getting wet, and you’re not going to have a hand free to hold an umbrella, so we really ought to get on with this while the sun’s shining. A bit of fresh air and sunshine will do everyone good.”
Ianto blinked in the bright morning sunlight streaming into his bedroom. “Is it just me, or are you not making sense?”
“Will you come on?” Jack urged. “You just have time for a quick shower. I’ve put some clothes out for you. We can stop for coffee and breakfast while we’re out. Now hurry up!”
“But it’s our day off!” Ianto protested.
“I know! I’m the one who arranged it. Shower, get dressed, don’t bother shaving. I’ll be downstairs.”
“Has there been a Rift alert or something?” Ianto called after Jack’s retreating back, but there was no reply; Jack was already clomping back down the stairs. How he could clomp so loudly in fluffy bunny slippers was one of the mysteries of life; it shouldn’t be possible, but somehow, Jack still managed it.
Dragging himself out of bed, visions of all kinds of imminent disasters running through his head, Ianto hurried to the bathroom, took a very quick shower, brushed his teeth, ran a comb through his damp hair, and donned clean underwear and socks, then pulled on the clothes Jack had picked out for him: jeans, a t-shirt, and a denim jacket. Hurrying downstairs in his socks, trainers in one hand, he found Jack in the kitchen.
Jack beamed at him as he entered. “There you are! We’re all ready to go!”
Ianto frowned at the sight that met his eyes. “What on earth are you doing?”
“It’s July twenty-seventh!”
“Yes, I’m aware of that.” If anything, Ianto just looked more confused than ever.
“Well then, let’s get going! It’s a good thing you don’t have too many, we should be able to manage them all in one go. I’ve been telling them about this all week. They’re looking forward to it.”
Ianto thought he might be about to get a headache. “Looking forward to what, exactly?”
Eight plants in pots were lined up on the kitchen table, arranged in two shallow troughs that Ianto had never seen before: a geranium, a Gerbera, three cacti, an orchid, a Ficus, and the succulent Jack had picked up cheap because he felt sorry for it.
Jack gave him a look. “Were you not listening? July twenty-seventh!”
“Yes, I got that part, but what does that have to do with all this?”
“I thought you were supposed to know everything!” Jack seemed vaguely disappointed in him.
“Yes, well, apparently I missed something.”
“It’s Take Your Houseplants For A Walk Day!”
“What?” Ianto reached for one of the kitchen chairs and sat down.
Jack was instantly concerned. “Ianto? Are you feeling alright?”
“Not sure. I think I might have accidentally stumbled into an alternate universe.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Take Your Houseplants For A Walk Day?”
“Yes! One of the things I love most about earth is that there’s an official day for practically everything.”
“Even taking plants for a walk?”
“Why not? It’s good for them. Fresh air, sunlight, a change of scenery…” Jack gestured at the row of plants. “Look how eager they are! You don’t want to disappoint them, do you?”
“They’re plants!”
“That doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings. You talk to them!”
“A lot of people talk to their plants.”
“So why should this be any different? We’ll take them to that café off the Plas, where they have tables outside, and the plants can enjoy the sunshine while we have breakfast. Come on, Ianto. Don’t they deserve an outing? I got them all ready before I woke you. I even shined Freda’s leaves.”
“Freda?”
Jack pointed to the Ficus.
“You named the plants. Of course you did.” Ianto pinched the bridge of his nose. “You do realise we’ll be the only people taking our plants out to breakfast.”
“Does it matter? You take those.” Jack pointed to the trough containing the orchid. “I’ll take Freda and her friends.” He picked up the one with the Ficus. “You’d better put your shoes on first though.”
“Oh. Yes.” Ianto hurriedly put his trainers on, wondering how he managed to find himself in these situations. Probably had something to do with working for Torchwood. Getting to his feet, he followed Jack out the front door, checking that he had his keys before locking it behind him.
Unsurprisingly, as they walked through Cardiff, they didn’t pass one single person with a plant.
“See? No one else is taking their plants for a walk,” Ianto grumbled.
“Maybe they walked theirs earlier, or they’ll do it at lunchtime. Or maybe they just don’t have any houseplants. Not everyone does.” Jack was undaunted, cheerfully striding along, occasionally pointing things out to the plants he was carrying.
When they got to the café, Jack went inside to order their breakfast, leaving Ianto sitting at a table with the plants. He felt a bit silly, but if anyone asked, he’d say he just bought them, or that a friend had given them to him. No way was he going to admit that he’d been talked into taking them for a walk.
“What beautiful plants,” a voice said, and he looked around to see an elderly lady taking a seat at the next table, carefully setting down a potted plant. “They look very healthy.”
“Thank you.”
“Would you mind keeping an eye on my Coleus while I pop inside and get a cup of tea?”
“Not at all.”
“I was sure I’d be able to count on you, seeing as you have plants of your own.” Standing up, the lady disappeared inside the café.
When Jack came out with their breakfast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, and two mugs of coffee, he found Ianto twisted around in his seat, looking at a plant on the next table.
“Who’s the newcomer?”
“Coleus,” Ianto replied distractedly.
“Pretty! I told you we wouldn’t be the only people taking our plants out for a walk.”
Ianto glared at his lover as heads turned at the only other occupied table. “You don’t have to advertise it!” he hissed.
“You’re not embarrassed about being seen with our plants, are you? Liking plants is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I know, but taking them for walks is a bit… odd.”
“I don’t see why. People take their pets for walks all the time.”
“That’s different. Animals need to be exercised, plants don’t. That’s why I have plants instead of a dog or something. They’re easier to look after.” Ianto returned his attention to the Coleus on the next table, making sure no one decided to steal it while it was unattended.
A couple of minutes later, the old lady returned with her tea and a scone. “Thank you, dear,” she said with a smile, seeing Ianto watching over her plant with such dedication. “Lovely day, isn’t it? I must say, I felt a bit foolish at first, bringing a plant out with me, but when I saw you sitting there with all of yours, I felt much better about it. I used to have a lovely garden, but now I live in a small flat, so I just have a few houseplants. When I heard about today, I was in two minds over whether I should, but… well, I thought it might be a chance to chat to someone else who likes plants. Oh, hark at me, rambling on. I’m sure you and your friend have better things to do than talk to an old lady.”
“Not at all,” Jack said. “We’re all here because of our plants. I’m Jack, and this is Ianto.”
“Dilys.”
“Lovely to meet you, Dilys. Why don’t you join us? We can discuss plants and plant care.”
“Well, if you’re sure you don’t mind. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t be,” Ianto assured her, graciously giving in to the inevitable. Why not brighten a lonely lady’s day with a chat over breakfast?
Three people and nine houseplants, having breakfast together on a sunny July morning. In all honestly, it wasn’t anywhere near the weirdest situation Ianto had ever found himself in, but surprisingly, it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable.
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto, OFC.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1438
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Jack wakes Ianto up early on their day off…
Written For: Weekend Challenge Weird Holidays at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
“Come on, Ianto! Rise and shine!” Jack shook his lover impatiently.
“Whu?” Ianto mumbled groggily. “Whassamatter?”
“Time to get up! We need to get going while the weather’s still dry. It could be raining later, according to the forecast. I know a bit of rain won’t bother them, but you always complain about getting wet, and you’re not going to have a hand free to hold an umbrella, so we really ought to get on with this while the sun’s shining. A bit of fresh air and sunshine will do everyone good.”
Ianto blinked in the bright morning sunlight streaming into his bedroom. “Is it just me, or are you not making sense?”
“Will you come on?” Jack urged. “You just have time for a quick shower. I’ve put some clothes out for you. We can stop for coffee and breakfast while we’re out. Now hurry up!”
“But it’s our day off!” Ianto protested.
“I know! I’m the one who arranged it. Shower, get dressed, don’t bother shaving. I’ll be downstairs.”
“Has there been a Rift alert or something?” Ianto called after Jack’s retreating back, but there was no reply; Jack was already clomping back down the stairs. How he could clomp so loudly in fluffy bunny slippers was one of the mysteries of life; it shouldn’t be possible, but somehow, Jack still managed it.
Dragging himself out of bed, visions of all kinds of imminent disasters running through his head, Ianto hurried to the bathroom, took a very quick shower, brushed his teeth, ran a comb through his damp hair, and donned clean underwear and socks, then pulled on the clothes Jack had picked out for him: jeans, a t-shirt, and a denim jacket. Hurrying downstairs in his socks, trainers in one hand, he found Jack in the kitchen.
Jack beamed at him as he entered. “There you are! We’re all ready to go!”
Ianto frowned at the sight that met his eyes. “What on earth are you doing?”
“It’s July twenty-seventh!”
“Yes, I’m aware of that.” If anything, Ianto just looked more confused than ever.
“Well then, let’s get going! It’s a good thing you don’t have too many, we should be able to manage them all in one go. I’ve been telling them about this all week. They’re looking forward to it.”
Ianto thought he might be about to get a headache. “Looking forward to what, exactly?”
Eight plants in pots were lined up on the kitchen table, arranged in two shallow troughs that Ianto had never seen before: a geranium, a Gerbera, three cacti, an orchid, a Ficus, and the succulent Jack had picked up cheap because he felt sorry for it.
Jack gave him a look. “Were you not listening? July twenty-seventh!”
“Yes, I got that part, but what does that have to do with all this?”
“I thought you were supposed to know everything!” Jack seemed vaguely disappointed in him.
“Yes, well, apparently I missed something.”
“It’s Take Your Houseplants For A Walk Day!”
“What?” Ianto reached for one of the kitchen chairs and sat down.
Jack was instantly concerned. “Ianto? Are you feeling alright?”
“Not sure. I think I might have accidentally stumbled into an alternate universe.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Take Your Houseplants For A Walk Day?”
“Yes! One of the things I love most about earth is that there’s an official day for practically everything.”
“Even taking plants for a walk?”
“Why not? It’s good for them. Fresh air, sunlight, a change of scenery…” Jack gestured at the row of plants. “Look how eager they are! You don’t want to disappoint them, do you?”
“They’re plants!”
“That doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings. You talk to them!”
“A lot of people talk to their plants.”
“So why should this be any different? We’ll take them to that café off the Plas, where they have tables outside, and the plants can enjoy the sunshine while we have breakfast. Come on, Ianto. Don’t they deserve an outing? I got them all ready before I woke you. I even shined Freda’s leaves.”
“Freda?”
Jack pointed to the Ficus.
“You named the plants. Of course you did.” Ianto pinched the bridge of his nose. “You do realise we’ll be the only people taking our plants out to breakfast.”
“Does it matter? You take those.” Jack pointed to the trough containing the orchid. “I’ll take Freda and her friends.” He picked up the one with the Ficus. “You’d better put your shoes on first though.”
“Oh. Yes.” Ianto hurriedly put his trainers on, wondering how he managed to find himself in these situations. Probably had something to do with working for Torchwood. Getting to his feet, he followed Jack out the front door, checking that he had his keys before locking it behind him.
Unsurprisingly, as they walked through Cardiff, they didn’t pass one single person with a plant.
“See? No one else is taking their plants for a walk,” Ianto grumbled.
“Maybe they walked theirs earlier, or they’ll do it at lunchtime. Or maybe they just don’t have any houseplants. Not everyone does.” Jack was undaunted, cheerfully striding along, occasionally pointing things out to the plants he was carrying.
When they got to the café, Jack went inside to order their breakfast, leaving Ianto sitting at a table with the plants. He felt a bit silly, but if anyone asked, he’d say he just bought them, or that a friend had given them to him. No way was he going to admit that he’d been talked into taking them for a walk.
“What beautiful plants,” a voice said, and he looked around to see an elderly lady taking a seat at the next table, carefully setting down a potted plant. “They look very healthy.”
“Thank you.”
“Would you mind keeping an eye on my Coleus while I pop inside and get a cup of tea?”
“Not at all.”
“I was sure I’d be able to count on you, seeing as you have plants of your own.” Standing up, the lady disappeared inside the café.
When Jack came out with their breakfast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, and two mugs of coffee, he found Ianto twisted around in his seat, looking at a plant on the next table.
“Who’s the newcomer?”
“Coleus,” Ianto replied distractedly.
“Pretty! I told you we wouldn’t be the only people taking our plants out for a walk.”
Ianto glared at his lover as heads turned at the only other occupied table. “You don’t have to advertise it!” he hissed.
“You’re not embarrassed about being seen with our plants, are you? Liking plants is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I know, but taking them for walks is a bit… odd.”
“I don’t see why. People take their pets for walks all the time.”
“That’s different. Animals need to be exercised, plants don’t. That’s why I have plants instead of a dog or something. They’re easier to look after.” Ianto returned his attention to the Coleus on the next table, making sure no one decided to steal it while it was unattended.
A couple of minutes later, the old lady returned with her tea and a scone. “Thank you, dear,” she said with a smile, seeing Ianto watching over her plant with such dedication. “Lovely day, isn’t it? I must say, I felt a bit foolish at first, bringing a plant out with me, but when I saw you sitting there with all of yours, I felt much better about it. I used to have a lovely garden, but now I live in a small flat, so I just have a few houseplants. When I heard about today, I was in two minds over whether I should, but… well, I thought it might be a chance to chat to someone else who likes plants. Oh, hark at me, rambling on. I’m sure you and your friend have better things to do than talk to an old lady.”
“Not at all,” Jack said. “We’re all here because of our plants. I’m Jack, and this is Ianto.”
“Dilys.”
“Lovely to meet you, Dilys. Why don’t you join us? We can discuss plants and plant care.”
“Well, if you’re sure you don’t mind. I wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t be,” Ianto assured her, graciously giving in to the inevitable. Why not brighten a lonely lady’s day with a chat over breakfast?
Three people and nine houseplants, having breakfast together on a sunny July morning. In all honestly, it wasn’t anywhere near the weirdest situation Ianto had ever found himself in, but surprisingly, it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable.
The End