Fic: Holiday Of A Lifetime
Title: Holiday Of A Lifetime
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, OAC.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1465
Summary: Jack takes Ianto on holiday to another planet.
Spoilers: Nada.
Written For: Challenge 437: Ticket at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters.
Ianto had known that going offworld with Jack on holiday would be an adventure, he’s fully expected the sensory overload from a kaleidoscope of dizzying sights, sounds, and smells, but even so, the hustle and bustle of the alien spaceport was like nothing he’d ever experienced. Not even in London on New Year’s Eve, just before the fireworks display got underway, when everyone crowded together on the banks of the Thames to watch. He was so busy just looking around himself in a mixture of confusion and wonder that it took him several minutes to realise Jack was no longer beside him.
He did his best not to panic, reminding himself that Jack couldn’t have gone far, there were too many people, in all shapes, sizes, and colours, pushing past him to get to wherever they were going, and nobody was making much headway. As long as he stayed right where he was, he’d be fine; Jack would notice he was missing and come back for him, and this time Ianto wouldn’t let his lover out of his sight, even if he had to tie the two of them together so they didn’t become separated again.
Keeping as still as possible, resisting the attempts of scurrying passers-by to push him out of their way, Ianto scanned the milling masses, searching for a familiar figure and hoping that the crowds would thin out a bit as the new arrivals left the building, leaving only the people waiting to board flights to other planets. As he looked about, he suddenly found himself face-to-face with a slender, blue-skinned humanoid with large, amber eyes and straight black hair to his shoulders, who smiled at him in a manner he assumed was meant to be friendly, although it might just as easily have meant the person was preparing to bite him. The teeth were rather alarmingly pointed and looked razor sharp, rather like a shark’s.
“You are new arrival, yes?” the being asked in slightly sibilant Galactic Standard.
“Ah, yes, I am,” Ianto replied in the same language, albeit with a distinct Welsh accent.
The alien’s smile grew even wider, and correspondingly more sharklike. “Welcome to Demiranrah, jewel of the Orithrovilian Empire. Your first visit to our fair city, yes?”
“That is correct.” Ianto was quite sure it must be obvious to everyone who paid any attention to him at all that he was a newcomer, the proverbial fish out of water, all wide-eyed and gaping at everything.
“Excellent! Esteemed being, allow my most humble self to present to you two complimentary tickets to the Ranrahrium, for yourself and your companion of choice. Valid for the entirety of your stay.” Grasping Ianto’s wrist, the alien pressed two ovals of hard silvery plastic firmly into his palm, closing his fingers around them. “I look forward with great eagerness to your first visit to our glorious establishment. It will be an honour to serve you.”
Not knowing what else to do, Ianto accepted the tickets. “Thank you, that’s… very generous of you.”
“A mere trifle, to introduce travellers such as yourself to one of the greatest wonders of our fair city. Indeed, one of the greatest wonders in this sector! I guarantee you will not be disappointed.” The alien bowed, and Ianto returned the gesture; after all, good manners cost nothing, and apparently neither did the tickets. Before he could ask what, exactly, the Ranrahrium was, and where it was located, the being had already moved on, slipping gracefully through the crowds with an ease Ianto couldn’t help but envy, presumably seeking out other new arrivals.
Ianto was still studying the tickets, which were holographic, rippling with colour and movement but not especially informative, when a hand grabbed him by the shoulder, making him jump and let out a startled yelp.
“There you are!” Jack said, sounding relieved. “I was starting to think I’d never find you. Sorry about that, I got sort of swept away by a clan of drunken Altomeerians. They wanted to buy me a drink, and I tried to decline their offer, but they were insistent. There were also ten of them and only one of me, plus they each have four arms, so the discussion was a bit one-sided, but I did manage to persuade them to buy me a bottle to go.” Jack held up a large bottle of fluorescent orange liquid, or maybe it was the bottle itself that was orange; it was hard to tell, what with Jack waving it around. “It’s called Chichir!”
“That’s… nice,” Ianto said, bemused.
“Isn’t it? I love coming here, the people are always so friendly and generous, a real party crowd. We can share this tonight, after dinner. I think you’ll like it.”
“Oh, good. I’ll look forward to that then.” Ianto held up his hand. “I got handed complimentary tickets to the Ranrahrium, whatever that is.”
Jack’s eyes lit up. “Oooh, that’s even better than the Chichir! I thought we’d have to buy tickets if we wanted to go, and they don’t come cheap, not the really good ones anyway. Someone obviously has excellent taste. Not that I can blame them for selecting you.”
“Selecting?” Ianto frowned. “What d’you mean?”
“The Ranrahrium doesn’t hand out free tickets to just anyone, only those the greeters consider attractive enough and who’ve never visited the planet before. It’s quite an honour.”
“What exactly IS the Ranrahrium?”
“At, that’s a little difficult to describe. It’s a lot of things really, sort of a combination of nightclub, spa, restaurant, casino, concert venue, and dancehall, with games rooms, and roving, free-for-all orgies.”
“Orgies?” Ianto blinked uncertainly; he wasn’t entirely convinced he’d heard that last part right, although this being Jack…
“Oh, don’t worry. You don’t have to take part in them if you don’t want to. As long as you keep your clothes on, you’ll be left alone. You might get invitations to join in, but nobody will force you into anything. That would be considered extremely bad manners. Participation is entirely optional, and at each individual’s discretion.”
“That’s… good to know.”
“If you do decide to take part in an orgy or two though…” Jack grinned. “You won’t be disappointed. Just saying. They can be a lot of fun with the right people.”
Ianto could feel himself blushing furiously. “I’ll think about it.” He looked at the tickets in his hand. “And these will get us in free?”
“Yep! May I?” Jack held out his hand.
“Oh, yes, of course.” Ianto handed over the stiff plastic ovals and Jack took them, holding them up to the light. His eyes widened.
“Wow! These are premium tickets!”
“Which means…?” Ianto raised an enquiring eyebrow.
“Free food and drink, free access to all areas… We’ll have to provide our own credits if we want to gamble, but aside from that, we’ll hardly have to pay for anything!” Jack beamed at his lover. “You really must have caught someone’s attention. Must be that pale Welsh skin and sexy chest hair, not to mention the accent.” He winked and looked at the tickets again. “Valid until you leave the planet.”
“Yes, the person who gave them to me did mention something like that.”
“I knew coming here was a good idea.” Jack leaned in and kissed Ianto soundly. “We are gonna have a great time!”
“Uh, Jack, hadn’t you better be careful with those tickets, put them away somewhere safe? We don’t want to lose them.”
“Nothing to worry about. We’ve both touched them, so they’re biometrically keyed to us, meaning no one else can use them. Our biometric signatures will be on file at the Ranrahrium by now, so even if we misplace them, all we have to do is inform one of the staff and they’ll be replaced. We’re set for the holiday of a lifetime! You’ll never want to go home.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“You just wait and see. Come on, let’s go find our hotel.”
The crowds were starting to thin out a bit, so Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him towards the spaceport’s main exit. Ianto held on tight, not wanting them to become separated again; getting lost once in an alien spaceport was quite enough. ‘Orgies,’ he thought. ‘Of course there would be orgies.’ He really should have been expecting that, it was just, back on earth, when he thought about holiday activities, taking in an orgy or two wasn’t the kind of thing that immediately sprang to mind.
On the other hand, he was with Jack, so perhaps it was inevitable. Who else would drag him to a planet where orgies were as much a part of the entertainment as dancing, gambling, or dining out? This looked like it was going to be a very interesting holiday indeed.
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, OAC.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1465
Summary: Jack takes Ianto on holiday to another planet.
Spoilers: Nada.
Written For: Challenge 437: Ticket at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters.
Ianto had known that going offworld with Jack on holiday would be an adventure, he’s fully expected the sensory overload from a kaleidoscope of dizzying sights, sounds, and smells, but even so, the hustle and bustle of the alien spaceport was like nothing he’d ever experienced. Not even in London on New Year’s Eve, just before the fireworks display got underway, when everyone crowded together on the banks of the Thames to watch. He was so busy just looking around himself in a mixture of confusion and wonder that it took him several minutes to realise Jack was no longer beside him.
He did his best not to panic, reminding himself that Jack couldn’t have gone far, there were too many people, in all shapes, sizes, and colours, pushing past him to get to wherever they were going, and nobody was making much headway. As long as he stayed right where he was, he’d be fine; Jack would notice he was missing and come back for him, and this time Ianto wouldn’t let his lover out of his sight, even if he had to tie the two of them together so they didn’t become separated again.
Keeping as still as possible, resisting the attempts of scurrying passers-by to push him out of their way, Ianto scanned the milling masses, searching for a familiar figure and hoping that the crowds would thin out a bit as the new arrivals left the building, leaving only the people waiting to board flights to other planets. As he looked about, he suddenly found himself face-to-face with a slender, blue-skinned humanoid with large, amber eyes and straight black hair to his shoulders, who smiled at him in a manner he assumed was meant to be friendly, although it might just as easily have meant the person was preparing to bite him. The teeth were rather alarmingly pointed and looked razor sharp, rather like a shark’s.
“You are new arrival, yes?” the being asked in slightly sibilant Galactic Standard.
“Ah, yes, I am,” Ianto replied in the same language, albeit with a distinct Welsh accent.
The alien’s smile grew even wider, and correspondingly more sharklike. “Welcome to Demiranrah, jewel of the Orithrovilian Empire. Your first visit to our fair city, yes?”
“That is correct.” Ianto was quite sure it must be obvious to everyone who paid any attention to him at all that he was a newcomer, the proverbial fish out of water, all wide-eyed and gaping at everything.
“Excellent! Esteemed being, allow my most humble self to present to you two complimentary tickets to the Ranrahrium, for yourself and your companion of choice. Valid for the entirety of your stay.” Grasping Ianto’s wrist, the alien pressed two ovals of hard silvery plastic firmly into his palm, closing his fingers around them. “I look forward with great eagerness to your first visit to our glorious establishment. It will be an honour to serve you.”
Not knowing what else to do, Ianto accepted the tickets. “Thank you, that’s… very generous of you.”
“A mere trifle, to introduce travellers such as yourself to one of the greatest wonders of our fair city. Indeed, one of the greatest wonders in this sector! I guarantee you will not be disappointed.” The alien bowed, and Ianto returned the gesture; after all, good manners cost nothing, and apparently neither did the tickets. Before he could ask what, exactly, the Ranrahrium was, and where it was located, the being had already moved on, slipping gracefully through the crowds with an ease Ianto couldn’t help but envy, presumably seeking out other new arrivals.
Ianto was still studying the tickets, which were holographic, rippling with colour and movement but not especially informative, when a hand grabbed him by the shoulder, making him jump and let out a startled yelp.
“There you are!” Jack said, sounding relieved. “I was starting to think I’d never find you. Sorry about that, I got sort of swept away by a clan of drunken Altomeerians. They wanted to buy me a drink, and I tried to decline their offer, but they were insistent. There were also ten of them and only one of me, plus they each have four arms, so the discussion was a bit one-sided, but I did manage to persuade them to buy me a bottle to go.” Jack held up a large bottle of fluorescent orange liquid, or maybe it was the bottle itself that was orange; it was hard to tell, what with Jack waving it around. “It’s called Chichir!”
“That’s… nice,” Ianto said, bemused.
“Isn’t it? I love coming here, the people are always so friendly and generous, a real party crowd. We can share this tonight, after dinner. I think you’ll like it.”
“Oh, good. I’ll look forward to that then.” Ianto held up his hand. “I got handed complimentary tickets to the Ranrahrium, whatever that is.”
Jack’s eyes lit up. “Oooh, that’s even better than the Chichir! I thought we’d have to buy tickets if we wanted to go, and they don’t come cheap, not the really good ones anyway. Someone obviously has excellent taste. Not that I can blame them for selecting you.”
“Selecting?” Ianto frowned. “What d’you mean?”
“The Ranrahrium doesn’t hand out free tickets to just anyone, only those the greeters consider attractive enough and who’ve never visited the planet before. It’s quite an honour.”
“What exactly IS the Ranrahrium?”
“At, that’s a little difficult to describe. It’s a lot of things really, sort of a combination of nightclub, spa, restaurant, casino, concert venue, and dancehall, with games rooms, and roving, free-for-all orgies.”
“Orgies?” Ianto blinked uncertainly; he wasn’t entirely convinced he’d heard that last part right, although this being Jack…
“Oh, don’t worry. You don’t have to take part in them if you don’t want to. As long as you keep your clothes on, you’ll be left alone. You might get invitations to join in, but nobody will force you into anything. That would be considered extremely bad manners. Participation is entirely optional, and at each individual’s discretion.”
“That’s… good to know.”
“If you do decide to take part in an orgy or two though…” Jack grinned. “You won’t be disappointed. Just saying. They can be a lot of fun with the right people.”
Ianto could feel himself blushing furiously. “I’ll think about it.” He looked at the tickets in his hand. “And these will get us in free?”
“Yep! May I?” Jack held out his hand.
“Oh, yes, of course.” Ianto handed over the stiff plastic ovals and Jack took them, holding them up to the light. His eyes widened.
“Wow! These are premium tickets!”
“Which means…?” Ianto raised an enquiring eyebrow.
“Free food and drink, free access to all areas… We’ll have to provide our own credits if we want to gamble, but aside from that, we’ll hardly have to pay for anything!” Jack beamed at his lover. “You really must have caught someone’s attention. Must be that pale Welsh skin and sexy chest hair, not to mention the accent.” He winked and looked at the tickets again. “Valid until you leave the planet.”
“Yes, the person who gave them to me did mention something like that.”
“I knew coming here was a good idea.” Jack leaned in and kissed Ianto soundly. “We are gonna have a great time!”
“Uh, Jack, hadn’t you better be careful with those tickets, put them away somewhere safe? We don’t want to lose them.”
“Nothing to worry about. We’ve both touched them, so they’re biometrically keyed to us, meaning no one else can use them. Our biometric signatures will be on file at the Ranrahrium by now, so even if we misplace them, all we have to do is inform one of the staff and they’ll be replaced. We’re set for the holiday of a lifetime! You’ll never want to go home.”
“I’ve heard that before.”
“You just wait and see. Come on, let’s go find our hotel.”
The crowds were starting to thin out a bit, so Jack took Ianto’s hand and led him towards the spaceport’s main exit. Ianto held on tight, not wanting them to become separated again; getting lost once in an alien spaceport was quite enough. ‘Orgies,’ he thought. ‘Of course there would be orgies.’ He really should have been expecting that, it was just, back on earth, when he thought about holiday activities, taking in an orgy or two wasn’t the kind of thing that immediately sprang to mind.
On the other hand, he was with Jack, so perhaps it was inevitable. Who else would drag him to a planet where orgies were as much a part of the entertainment as dancing, gambling, or dining out? This looked like it was going to be a very interesting holiday indeed.
The End