FAKE Ficlet: Long Gone
Title: Long Gone
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Bikky, Bikky’s parents, Ryo, Carol.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: Bikky can’t remember much about his parents, but the older he gets, the more he comes to realise that perhaps that part of his life is no longer so important to him.
Word Count: 842
Written For: Challenge 430: Looking Back at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Sometimes, when he thought about his childhood, Bikky felt guilty. It was probably silly, but looking back, he could scarcely remember his parents’ faces without digging out the few photos he had of them. He couldn’t recall their voices at all, or their laughter, or even much about the things they’d done together as a family. There were a few dim recollections from when it had been just him and his dad, but nothing of his mom. She’d passed away when he was only four, so maybe it was to be expected, but he still wished there was at least something.
It made him feel like a failure as a son. He knew his parents had loved him, and that he’d loved them, he remembered how lost and scared he’d felt when his dad was killed, but when he tried to think about his life before that awful moment, somehow none of it seemed… real. More like the faded memories of a dream he’d once had.
What was indisputably real was his life with Ryo, growing up in the apartment they’d shared for eight years, the kindness and unwavering support his foster father had lavished on him, the steadfast encouragement to follow his dreams. Even so, the boy he’d been back then was hardly more than a distant memory, almost as dreamlike as his life before he’d lost his father. He wasn’t even thirty-five yet, but those carefree childhood days felt like such a long time ago.
He was a dad himself now, with a growing family, and of course his kids wanted to hear stories of when their dad had been a kid. Ryo was full of such tales, he remembered so much more than Bikky did, but he couldn’t fill in all the gaps in Bikky’s memories, the first ten years of Victor Goldman’s life.
There was nobody Bikky could ask about those days, nobody who could answer all the questions he had about his parents, what they’d been like when they were kids, teenagers, newlyweds… Ryo had never met them, and as far as Bikky was aware, he had no blood relatives, no grandparents, aunts and uncles, or cousins. The absence of any family meant there was a weird gap in Bikky’s understanding of himself and his life.
It was nobody’s fault, just one of those things. If either of his parents had had siblings, or if any of his grandparents had still been alive when he was a kid, Bikky didn’t remember ever meeting them, or even hearing them mentioned.
He sometimes wondered whether he should do one of those DNA tests, see if he could find any relatives he might have that way, but if he did that, who knew what might happen? He was wealthy now, and he didn’t want to deal with strangers demanding a share of his earnings just because they happened to be distantly ‘related’.
Besides, it seemed disrespectful of Ryo, who’d willingly given a home to an orphaned ten-year-old boy and raised him like Bikky was his own child. Ryo had been the best dad ever, and Bikky owed him more than he could ever repay; not that Ryo would ever ask for any kind of payment, despite how expensive Bikky now knew raising a child to be. How Ryo had managed on a cop’s salary, Bikky would never understand.
Perhaps it didn’t matter so much where he’d come from. He’d had parents who’d loved him and who’d died too soon; they were the people responsible for his looks and his height, but it was Ryo who had shaped him into the man he’d become. Ryo who’d helped him with his homework, taught him how to cook, clean, do laundry, and generally look after himself. Ryo who’d supported his ambitions, cheered from the bleachers at all his junior high and high school basketball games, helped him fill in college applications… It was Ryo who’d broadened his horizons, taking a city kid out into the countryside, camping, hiking, and kayaking. Ryo who’d taught him to appreciate nature.
The more he thought back, the more he realised how much his foster father had done for him, and how much he’d learned from the man who’d become his dad over the eight years before he’d left home for college. He’d never entirely forget his birth parents; no matter how hazy the memories already were, he still had his photos, and the locket that had been his mom’s, to remind him. But they were long gone now, that part of his life was over, so what was the point of dwelling on what he didn’t know and likely never would?
He had his own family now, Carol and their kids, and Ryo, his dad, the man who’d sacrificed so much to give him the best life he could. If his birth parents could see him now, he hoped they’d be happy for him, proud of the man he’d grown into, but he already knew Ryo was, and in the end, maybe that was all that mattered.
The End
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Bikky, Bikky’s parents, Ryo, Carol.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: Bikky can’t remember much about his parents, but the older he gets, the more he comes to realise that perhaps that part of his life is no longer so important to him.
Word Count: 842
Written For: Challenge 430: Looking Back at fan_flashworks.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.
Sometimes, when he thought about his childhood, Bikky felt guilty. It was probably silly, but looking back, he could scarcely remember his parents’ faces without digging out the few photos he had of them. He couldn’t recall their voices at all, or their laughter, or even much about the things they’d done together as a family. There were a few dim recollections from when it had been just him and his dad, but nothing of his mom. She’d passed away when he was only four, so maybe it was to be expected, but he still wished there was at least something.
It made him feel like a failure as a son. He knew his parents had loved him, and that he’d loved them, he remembered how lost and scared he’d felt when his dad was killed, but when he tried to think about his life before that awful moment, somehow none of it seemed… real. More like the faded memories of a dream he’d once had.
What was indisputably real was his life with Ryo, growing up in the apartment they’d shared for eight years, the kindness and unwavering support his foster father had lavished on him, the steadfast encouragement to follow his dreams. Even so, the boy he’d been back then was hardly more than a distant memory, almost as dreamlike as his life before he’d lost his father. He wasn’t even thirty-five yet, but those carefree childhood days felt like such a long time ago.
He was a dad himself now, with a growing family, and of course his kids wanted to hear stories of when their dad had been a kid. Ryo was full of such tales, he remembered so much more than Bikky did, but he couldn’t fill in all the gaps in Bikky’s memories, the first ten years of Victor Goldman’s life.
There was nobody Bikky could ask about those days, nobody who could answer all the questions he had about his parents, what they’d been like when they were kids, teenagers, newlyweds… Ryo had never met them, and as far as Bikky was aware, he had no blood relatives, no grandparents, aunts and uncles, or cousins. The absence of any family meant there was a weird gap in Bikky’s understanding of himself and his life.
It was nobody’s fault, just one of those things. If either of his parents had had siblings, or if any of his grandparents had still been alive when he was a kid, Bikky didn’t remember ever meeting them, or even hearing them mentioned.
He sometimes wondered whether he should do one of those DNA tests, see if he could find any relatives he might have that way, but if he did that, who knew what might happen? He was wealthy now, and he didn’t want to deal with strangers demanding a share of his earnings just because they happened to be distantly ‘related’.
Besides, it seemed disrespectful of Ryo, who’d willingly given a home to an orphaned ten-year-old boy and raised him like Bikky was his own child. Ryo had been the best dad ever, and Bikky owed him more than he could ever repay; not that Ryo would ever ask for any kind of payment, despite how expensive Bikky now knew raising a child to be. How Ryo had managed on a cop’s salary, Bikky would never understand.
Perhaps it didn’t matter so much where he’d come from. He’d had parents who’d loved him and who’d died too soon; they were the people responsible for his looks and his height, but it was Ryo who had shaped him into the man he’d become. Ryo who’d helped him with his homework, taught him how to cook, clean, do laundry, and generally look after himself. Ryo who’d supported his ambitions, cheered from the bleachers at all his junior high and high school basketball games, helped him fill in college applications… It was Ryo who’d broadened his horizons, taking a city kid out into the countryside, camping, hiking, and kayaking. Ryo who’d taught him to appreciate nature.
The more he thought back, the more he realised how much his foster father had done for him, and how much he’d learned from the man who’d become his dad over the eight years before he’d left home for college. He’d never entirely forget his birth parents; no matter how hazy the memories already were, he still had his photos, and the locket that had been his mom’s, to remind him. But they were long gone now, that part of his life was over, so what was the point of dwelling on what he didn’t know and likely never would?
He had his own family now, Carol and their kids, and Ryo, his dad, the man who’d sacrificed so much to give him the best life he could. If his birth parents could see him now, he hoped they’d be happy for him, proud of the man he’d grown into, but he already knew Ryo was, and in the end, maybe that was all that mattered.
The End