TW/DW Fic: Under The Bridge
Title: Under The Bridge
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen, Tosh, Mystery Character.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2240
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Reports are reaching Torchwood about something lurking under the footbridge in Bute Park.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt: The Bridge at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Things had been slow for the past three or four days and Jack was getting bored; so bored, in fact, that he’d done all his paperwork, and turned a box of a thousand paperclips into a long chain. He was still trying to decide what to do with it when Ianto came into the office.
“Got something that might be a bit interesting,” he said.
“What is it?” Eager for something more exciting to do, Jack dropped his shiny paperclip chain on the floor and stood up, fastening his holster to his belt and heading for the coatrack only for Ianto to get there first, unhooking the greatcoat and holding it up for Jack to slip his arms into the sleeves.
“Report of a troll under the Blackweir Footbridge in Bute Park. Apparently it’s threatening to eat people if they try to cross. So far, no one’s been brave enough to risk it. Not that I blame them.”
“A troll, huh? Maybe that’s what came through the Rift the other day during the hailstorm. The thing we couldn’t find.”
The hail had somehow interfered with Torchwood’s scanners, scattering the Rift energy readings far and wide, making it impossible to trace the source.
“Could be,” Ianto replied. “Do trolls exist on other planets?”
“Not in an exact sense, but there are a number of alien races that could be mistaken for trolls, and several of them are carnivorous. We’d better tread carefully until we know what we’re up against.”
“Sounds wise.” Ianto looked dubiously at his lover. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright? Normally you forego caution and just blunder in, guns blazing.”
“Everyone’s a comedian. I’m perfectly capable of caution when the situation demands it.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Not in my experience.”
Ignoring him, Jack led the way from his office, calling for the team’s attention. “Alright, boys and girls, seems we have a troll situation. Might be nothing more than kids messing around, but we still have to take it seriously. We’re going in fully armed, so check your weapons and your backups. Owen, grab your med kit, just in case, and make sure you have plenty of retcon.”
“On it.” Owen dashed down to the med bay.
“Ianto, stun guns for all. Some of the troll-like creatures I’ve heard of are so thick-skinned they’re impervious to bullets, but an electric shock will take them down. It wouldn’t hurt to be prepared for all eventualities.”
“Yes, Sir.” Ianto made for the armoury, punching his code into the keypad. He was inside collecting the stun guns by the time Owen returned with a bag slung over his shoulder. The medic had a bottle of low dose retcon tablets clutched in one hand, which he was trying, without noticeable success, to shove into his jacket pocket. Realising after the fourth attempt that it was too big to fit, he stuffed it in his bag instead.
Locking the armoury behind him, Ianto rejoined his teammates, distributing stun guns and spare power packs, and pocketing his own. “I’ll drive,” he said quickly, before anyone else could volunteer. “I’ve still got the keys from earlier.” Since they hadn’t been busy, he’d taken the SUV to the nearest garage, filled the tank, checked the oil, put air in the tyres, then driven through the car wash, leaving the bulky black vehicle gleaming. Not that he expected it to stay that way for long.
“Alright!” said Jack. “Have we got everything? Then let’s move! Preferably before this troll, or whatever it is, starts snacking on the locals.”
OoOoOoO
They left the SUV in the Pontcanna Fields Car Park, with the parking ticket Ianto had insisted on buying prominently displayed on the dashboard, then walked the rest of the way. It was only a half mile or so to the bridge, cutting across the grass instead of following the footpaths.
“Which end of the bridge is our troll at?” Jack asked, striding along in the lead.
Behind him, Ianto rolled his eyes. “This end of course. If it was the other end, I’d have parked at the Blackweir Tavern. Wouldn’t be a good idea to go strolling across the bridge if there’s a troll under it. I’ve already had cannibals try to eat me, I’m not about to serve myself up to a troll.”
“Fine, just thought I’d check. Tosh, are you getting anything on your scanners?”
“I’m not sure, maybe…” Tosh sounded distracted, eyes fixed on the scanner’s screen, paying no attention to her surroundings. Owen was keeping close beside her, to steer her around obstacles and make sure she didn’t trip over anything. “Seems like there’s something, but I can’t get a lock on it. Maybe when we’re closer.” By now, the bridge was less than a hundred yards away.
“Okay, when we get within firing range, stop and spread out, guns and stun guns at the ready. I’ll go on alone, try to get a look at our troll.”
Ianto muttered something about typical behaviour, blundering in with guns blazing, and Jack glared at him. “I’m not going to shoot it, at least not right away. We need to find out what it is before we decide what to do about it, and since Tosh’s devices aren’t giving us anything useful to go on, we’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way.”
“If you hadn’t broken Tosh’s drone by playing with it in the Hub, we could’ve used that,” Ianto reminded him.
“How was I to know Myfanwy would try to take a bite out of it? She never paid any attention to it when Tosh was flying it.”
“Tosh didn’t buzz her with it when she was asleep. Can’t blame Myf for waking up a bit cranky when there was a drone hovering in front of her.”
Jack pouted. “Whatever.” He walked a little further in silence, finally coming to a stop perhaps twenty yards from the bridge. “Okay, get into position, but don’t shoot unless I tell you to.”
Drawing their weapons, the team spread out, focussing their attention on where the footbridge met the bank, but if there was anything trollish lurking in the shadows, they couldn’t see it.
Jack was maybe ten yards away when a hollow voice echoed from beneath the bridge, its tone curiously flat, almost bored. “Beware, come no closer.”
“Why not?” Jack asked, stopping.
“I am a troll, and this is my bridge. If you try to cross, I will eat your bones and gnaw on your flesh.” There was a pause, and then… “Or possibly the other way around.” Another pause, and… “Sir.”
Jack glanced back over his shoulder at his team, raising his eyebrows, “Doesn’t sound like any kind of troll I’ve ever met,” he murmured into his comm. “I’m going closer.” He strode forward again, speaking to the troll. “Sorry, but I can’t have unauthorised trolls just staking a claim to any bridge that takes their fancy. There are rules, you know.”
“There are?” This time the voice sounded mildly surprised. “I wasn’t aware of that. What kind of rules?”
“Oh, you know, licences, bridge rental, official signage, that kind of thing. You have to apply for residency.”
“Ah. Where should I apply?”
“To me.” Jack reached the bridge. “In person.” He ducked down and peered into the shadows, then snorted. “Well, hello there, wasn’t expecting to see you here. Maybe I should charge you with impersonating a troll.”
“Sir?”
“What are you doing under a bridge, Strax?”
“You know my name?” Strax peered suspiciously at Jack. “But do I know you? That is the question. Humans all look the same to me.”
“Captain Jack Harkness, friend of the Doctor. We have met.”
“The Doctor! Where is he? What have you done to him?”
“I haven’t done anything to him, haven’t seen him in months. Did something happen to him?”
“Yes! Possibly. I’m not sure. I was assisting him with his investigations. There was a flash of bright light, and then I came under attack, an unfamiliar form of projectile weaponry, I believe, so I took shelter here, to regroup and plan my counterattack.”
“Under the bridge.”
“Yes.”
“Pretending to be a troll.”
“Camouflage. The Doctor told me about trolls once. Ingenious, if a bit inefficient, trapping and disposing of the enemy one at a time. I prefer grenades. More effective, and less time consuming.”
“I’m sure you do. Why don’t you come out of there?”
“I’m not sure that would be good strategy, Sir. I am lulling the enemy into a false sense of security, and then, when I have determined their position, I shall attack. It will be glorious!”
“There’s no enemy, Strax, just a bad hailstorm.”
“A hailstorm? Ah, yes, earth weather. Very inconvenient. Are you sure there isn’t an enemy?”
“Quite sure. It’s just me and my team.” Jack motioned for the others to approach, calling to them, “It’s fine, just an old friend. Sort of.”
“More humans,” Strax said, eying the other members of the team. “Can you trust them? They could be enemy agents. Perhaps we should interrogate them, just to be sure. I find acid particularly effective with humans.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Pity. My interrogation skills are exceptional.”
“I’m sure they are, and if I ever need anyone interrogating, you’ll be the first person I call,” Jack assured the Sontaran.
“Thank you, Sir, very kind of you.”
“Now, if you’d just step out here?”
“As you wish, Sir.” Strax emerged into the open.
“Fuck me!” Owen exclaimed. “It’s a potato in a suit!”
“Silence, puny human scum, or I will vaporise you!”
“He’s a Sontaran, they’re a warrior race,” Jack explained, folding his arms over his chest, glaring disapprovingly at the squat alien. “You have a vaporiser?”
Strax patted at his jacket. “Well, no, not on me.”
“Glad to hear it. Can’t have you vaporising the locals, it tends to upset people.”
“Humans are too sensitive.” Strax cautiously studied his surroundings, then froze. “Sir! Emergency! Someone had stolen London!”
Somehow managing to keep a straight face, Jack patted Strax reassuringly on the top of his head. “London is fine, it’s right where you left it. You’re in Cardiff. You might say you’re the one that’s been stolen.”
“I have? Who stole me? I will dismember them!”
“Not a who, a what. There’s a Rift in time and space that runs right through Cardiff. That was the light you saw, the Rift opening and pulling you through from London to here.”
“Through time and space? What year is this?”
“Two thousand and nine, on the earth calendar,” Ianto supplied helpfully. “What year was it before you were… displaced?”
“Eighteen ninety-two. This is… inconvenient.”
“Don’t worry.” Jack treated Strax to his best smile. “I’m sure the Doctor will come looking for you, as soon as he notices you’re missing.”
“You have too many teeth, Sir, please put them away. It’s disturbing.”
Jack’s smile morphed into a pout. “No need to get personal. It’s not my fault the rift’s fragged you more than a century into the future.”
“What’re we going to do with it?” Owen demanded.
“I will remain here, under the bridge, until the Doctor comes for me.” Strax hesitated, looking up at Jack. “With your permission, Sir.”
“No can do, Strax. People need to use this bridge, and you’re scaring them off.”
“Perhaps some other bridge them?”
“Nope, sorry, I’m afraid you’ll have to come back to our base with us. I’ll see if I can send a message to the Doctor, let him know where and when you are.”
“Very well, if I must.”
“How are we goin’ to get him back to the SUV without anyone seeing him?” Owen wanted to know.
“We’ll figure something out. We just have to camouflage him somehow.” Jack looked down at himself. “My coat’s too long, so is Ianto’s… Owen, drape your jacket over his head, then we’ll walk in a group back to the car park with Strax in the middle.”
“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Ianto muttered, his tone making it clear to all present, except possibly Strax, that he meant the exact opposite. He’d read about Sontarans in the Torchwood database; cloned warriors whose sole purpose in life was the pursuit of honour on the battlefield, and they were taking him to their secret base, where they had all manner of weaponry.
“Chin up, Ianto! It’ll be fine.” Jack draped one arm around his lover, leaning in close to add, “We can always lock him in a cell and Retcon him if it becomes necessary.”
“Can’t we just do that before it becomes necessary? It would save us all a lot of bother.”
“Ianto Jones! Where’s your sense of hospitality?”
“I left it in my other coat. Just promise me you’ll keep your… friend away from any explosives. The last thing we need is to have the Hub blown up with us inside it. Imagine what that would do to Cardiff’s tourism industry. The Plas and the Millennium Centre are rather popular landmarks.”
“Pessimism, Ianto? I thought that was Owen’s forte.”
“Realism, Sir,” Ianto corrected, as the team crowded around Strax and ushered the Sontaran back across the park. “I’ll explain the difference later, assuming we survive this experience.” In his considered opinion, the potential for disaster was off the charts.
Ianto didn’t intend to relax until the Doctor showed up to claim his stray assistant, no matter how long that took.
The End
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Owen, Tosh, Mystery Character.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2240
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Reports are reaching Torchwood about something lurking under the footbridge in Bute Park.
Written For: Weekend Challenge Prompt: The Bridge at 1_million_words.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.
Things had been slow for the past three or four days and Jack was getting bored; so bored, in fact, that he’d done all his paperwork, and turned a box of a thousand paperclips into a long chain. He was still trying to decide what to do with it when Ianto came into the office.
“Got something that might be a bit interesting,” he said.
“What is it?” Eager for something more exciting to do, Jack dropped his shiny paperclip chain on the floor and stood up, fastening his holster to his belt and heading for the coatrack only for Ianto to get there first, unhooking the greatcoat and holding it up for Jack to slip his arms into the sleeves.
“Report of a troll under the Blackweir Footbridge in Bute Park. Apparently it’s threatening to eat people if they try to cross. So far, no one’s been brave enough to risk it. Not that I blame them.”
“A troll, huh? Maybe that’s what came through the Rift the other day during the hailstorm. The thing we couldn’t find.”
The hail had somehow interfered with Torchwood’s scanners, scattering the Rift energy readings far and wide, making it impossible to trace the source.
“Could be,” Ianto replied. “Do trolls exist on other planets?”
“Not in an exact sense, but there are a number of alien races that could be mistaken for trolls, and several of them are carnivorous. We’d better tread carefully until we know what we’re up against.”
“Sounds wise.” Ianto looked dubiously at his lover. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright? Normally you forego caution and just blunder in, guns blazing.”
“Everyone’s a comedian. I’m perfectly capable of caution when the situation demands it.”
Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Not in my experience.”
Ignoring him, Jack led the way from his office, calling for the team’s attention. “Alright, boys and girls, seems we have a troll situation. Might be nothing more than kids messing around, but we still have to take it seriously. We’re going in fully armed, so check your weapons and your backups. Owen, grab your med kit, just in case, and make sure you have plenty of retcon.”
“On it.” Owen dashed down to the med bay.
“Ianto, stun guns for all. Some of the troll-like creatures I’ve heard of are so thick-skinned they’re impervious to bullets, but an electric shock will take them down. It wouldn’t hurt to be prepared for all eventualities.”
“Yes, Sir.” Ianto made for the armoury, punching his code into the keypad. He was inside collecting the stun guns by the time Owen returned with a bag slung over his shoulder. The medic had a bottle of low dose retcon tablets clutched in one hand, which he was trying, without noticeable success, to shove into his jacket pocket. Realising after the fourth attempt that it was too big to fit, he stuffed it in his bag instead.
Locking the armoury behind him, Ianto rejoined his teammates, distributing stun guns and spare power packs, and pocketing his own. “I’ll drive,” he said quickly, before anyone else could volunteer. “I’ve still got the keys from earlier.” Since they hadn’t been busy, he’d taken the SUV to the nearest garage, filled the tank, checked the oil, put air in the tyres, then driven through the car wash, leaving the bulky black vehicle gleaming. Not that he expected it to stay that way for long.
“Alright!” said Jack. “Have we got everything? Then let’s move! Preferably before this troll, or whatever it is, starts snacking on the locals.”
OoOoOoO
They left the SUV in the Pontcanna Fields Car Park, with the parking ticket Ianto had insisted on buying prominently displayed on the dashboard, then walked the rest of the way. It was only a half mile or so to the bridge, cutting across the grass instead of following the footpaths.
“Which end of the bridge is our troll at?” Jack asked, striding along in the lead.
Behind him, Ianto rolled his eyes. “This end of course. If it was the other end, I’d have parked at the Blackweir Tavern. Wouldn’t be a good idea to go strolling across the bridge if there’s a troll under it. I’ve already had cannibals try to eat me, I’m not about to serve myself up to a troll.”
“Fine, just thought I’d check. Tosh, are you getting anything on your scanners?”
“I’m not sure, maybe…” Tosh sounded distracted, eyes fixed on the scanner’s screen, paying no attention to her surroundings. Owen was keeping close beside her, to steer her around obstacles and make sure she didn’t trip over anything. “Seems like there’s something, but I can’t get a lock on it. Maybe when we’re closer.” By now, the bridge was less than a hundred yards away.
“Okay, when we get within firing range, stop and spread out, guns and stun guns at the ready. I’ll go on alone, try to get a look at our troll.”
Ianto muttered something about typical behaviour, blundering in with guns blazing, and Jack glared at him. “I’m not going to shoot it, at least not right away. We need to find out what it is before we decide what to do about it, and since Tosh’s devices aren’t giving us anything useful to go on, we’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way.”
“If you hadn’t broken Tosh’s drone by playing with it in the Hub, we could’ve used that,” Ianto reminded him.
“How was I to know Myfanwy would try to take a bite out of it? She never paid any attention to it when Tosh was flying it.”
“Tosh didn’t buzz her with it when she was asleep. Can’t blame Myf for waking up a bit cranky when there was a drone hovering in front of her.”
Jack pouted. “Whatever.” He walked a little further in silence, finally coming to a stop perhaps twenty yards from the bridge. “Okay, get into position, but don’t shoot unless I tell you to.”
Drawing their weapons, the team spread out, focussing their attention on where the footbridge met the bank, but if there was anything trollish lurking in the shadows, they couldn’t see it.
Jack was maybe ten yards away when a hollow voice echoed from beneath the bridge, its tone curiously flat, almost bored. “Beware, come no closer.”
“Why not?” Jack asked, stopping.
“I am a troll, and this is my bridge. If you try to cross, I will eat your bones and gnaw on your flesh.” There was a pause, and then… “Or possibly the other way around.” Another pause, and… “Sir.”
Jack glanced back over his shoulder at his team, raising his eyebrows, “Doesn’t sound like any kind of troll I’ve ever met,” he murmured into his comm. “I’m going closer.” He strode forward again, speaking to the troll. “Sorry, but I can’t have unauthorised trolls just staking a claim to any bridge that takes their fancy. There are rules, you know.”
“There are?” This time the voice sounded mildly surprised. “I wasn’t aware of that. What kind of rules?”
“Oh, you know, licences, bridge rental, official signage, that kind of thing. You have to apply for residency.”
“Ah. Where should I apply?”
“To me.” Jack reached the bridge. “In person.” He ducked down and peered into the shadows, then snorted. “Well, hello there, wasn’t expecting to see you here. Maybe I should charge you with impersonating a troll.”
“Sir?”
“What are you doing under a bridge, Strax?”
“You know my name?” Strax peered suspiciously at Jack. “But do I know you? That is the question. Humans all look the same to me.”
“Captain Jack Harkness, friend of the Doctor. We have met.”
“The Doctor! Where is he? What have you done to him?”
“I haven’t done anything to him, haven’t seen him in months. Did something happen to him?”
“Yes! Possibly. I’m not sure. I was assisting him with his investigations. There was a flash of bright light, and then I came under attack, an unfamiliar form of projectile weaponry, I believe, so I took shelter here, to regroup and plan my counterattack.”
“Under the bridge.”
“Yes.”
“Pretending to be a troll.”
“Camouflage. The Doctor told me about trolls once. Ingenious, if a bit inefficient, trapping and disposing of the enemy one at a time. I prefer grenades. More effective, and less time consuming.”
“I’m sure you do. Why don’t you come out of there?”
“I’m not sure that would be good strategy, Sir. I am lulling the enemy into a false sense of security, and then, when I have determined their position, I shall attack. It will be glorious!”
“There’s no enemy, Strax, just a bad hailstorm.”
“A hailstorm? Ah, yes, earth weather. Very inconvenient. Are you sure there isn’t an enemy?”
“Quite sure. It’s just me and my team.” Jack motioned for the others to approach, calling to them, “It’s fine, just an old friend. Sort of.”
“More humans,” Strax said, eying the other members of the team. “Can you trust them? They could be enemy agents. Perhaps we should interrogate them, just to be sure. I find acid particularly effective with humans.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Pity. My interrogation skills are exceptional.”
“I’m sure they are, and if I ever need anyone interrogating, you’ll be the first person I call,” Jack assured the Sontaran.
“Thank you, Sir, very kind of you.”
“Now, if you’d just step out here?”
“As you wish, Sir.” Strax emerged into the open.
“Fuck me!” Owen exclaimed. “It’s a potato in a suit!”
“Silence, puny human scum, or I will vaporise you!”
“He’s a Sontaran, they’re a warrior race,” Jack explained, folding his arms over his chest, glaring disapprovingly at the squat alien. “You have a vaporiser?”
Strax patted at his jacket. “Well, no, not on me.”
“Glad to hear it. Can’t have you vaporising the locals, it tends to upset people.”
“Humans are too sensitive.” Strax cautiously studied his surroundings, then froze. “Sir! Emergency! Someone had stolen London!”
Somehow managing to keep a straight face, Jack patted Strax reassuringly on the top of his head. “London is fine, it’s right where you left it. You’re in Cardiff. You might say you’re the one that’s been stolen.”
“I have? Who stole me? I will dismember them!”
“Not a who, a what. There’s a Rift in time and space that runs right through Cardiff. That was the light you saw, the Rift opening and pulling you through from London to here.”
“Through time and space? What year is this?”
“Two thousand and nine, on the earth calendar,” Ianto supplied helpfully. “What year was it before you were… displaced?”
“Eighteen ninety-two. This is… inconvenient.”
“Don’t worry.” Jack treated Strax to his best smile. “I’m sure the Doctor will come looking for you, as soon as he notices you’re missing.”
“You have too many teeth, Sir, please put them away. It’s disturbing.”
Jack’s smile morphed into a pout. “No need to get personal. It’s not my fault the rift’s fragged you more than a century into the future.”
“What’re we going to do with it?” Owen demanded.
“I will remain here, under the bridge, until the Doctor comes for me.” Strax hesitated, looking up at Jack. “With your permission, Sir.”
“No can do, Strax. People need to use this bridge, and you’re scaring them off.”
“Perhaps some other bridge them?”
“Nope, sorry, I’m afraid you’ll have to come back to our base with us. I’ll see if I can send a message to the Doctor, let him know where and when you are.”
“Very well, if I must.”
“How are we goin’ to get him back to the SUV without anyone seeing him?” Owen wanted to know.
“We’ll figure something out. We just have to camouflage him somehow.” Jack looked down at himself. “My coat’s too long, so is Ianto’s… Owen, drape your jacket over his head, then we’ll walk in a group back to the car park with Strax in the middle.”
“Oh, this is going to be fun,” Ianto muttered, his tone making it clear to all present, except possibly Strax, that he meant the exact opposite. He’d read about Sontarans in the Torchwood database; cloned warriors whose sole purpose in life was the pursuit of honour on the battlefield, and they were taking him to their secret base, where they had all manner of weaponry.
“Chin up, Ianto! It’ll be fine.” Jack draped one arm around his lover, leaning in close to add, “We can always lock him in a cell and Retcon him if it becomes necessary.”
“Can’t we just do that before it becomes necessary? It would save us all a lot of bother.”
“Ianto Jones! Where’s your sense of hospitality?”
“I left it in my other coat. Just promise me you’ll keep your… friend away from any explosives. The last thing we need is to have the Hub blown up with us inside it. Imagine what that would do to Cardiff’s tourism industry. The Plas and the Millennium Centre are rather popular landmarks.”
“Pessimism, Ianto? I thought that was Owen’s forte.”
“Realism, Sir,” Ianto corrected, as the team crowded around Strax and ushered the Sontaran back across the park. “I’ll explain the difference later, assuming we survive this experience.” In his considered opinion, the potential for disaster was off the charts.
Ianto didn’t intend to relax until the Doctor showed up to claim his stray assistant, no matter how long that took.
The End