Ficlet: Vitally Important
Title: Vitally Important
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, OCs.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 963
Summary: There is one vitally important criterion for anyone who works for Torchwood, and its importance cannot be overstated.
Spoilers: None.
Written For: cozy_coffee’s prompt ‘Any, any, coffee,’ at comment_fic.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters.
Judging by his resumé and the interview so far, Harry Prentiss was the ideal candidate for the job. He was young, fit, enthusiastic, and had already impressed Ianto with his knowledge of cataloguing systems, as well as a solid understanding of the difficulties involved in archive storage. He’d even put forward a couple of innovative ideas regarding the best ways to dealing with items of a similar nature that required radically different storage conditions in order to maintain them in good order.
Out of the five people they’d interviewed so far for the position of assistant archivist, he was hands down the best, and Ianto was almost ready to offer him the job, but first, a casual chat over refreshments might be in order. In his experience, people were always on their best behaviour during interviews; it never hurt to see what they were like once they felt more at ease.
“Right, let’s take a break, have some refreshments, and then we’ll get down to details. Coffee?”
“Ugh, no thanks, disgusting stuff; I never touch it, can’t even stand the smell. If I had my way, it’d be banned in all workplaces, like smoking is. No one should have to put up with that vile stink all the time.”
Somehow Ianto managed not to let his shock show on his face, fixing a bland smile in place. “Tea, then?”
“Ah, now that’s more like it! Don’t mind if I do. Nothing beats a good cuppa.”
It didn’t take Ianto long to serve up a perfect cup of tea, liberally dosed with Retcon. He was a bit disappointed, because Harry was so perfect for Torchwood in every other way, but the coffee thing was non-negotiable. Coffee was what kept Torchwood running; anyone who didn’t like it simply had no place there. Odds were, a new recruit wouldn’t survive their first day without regular infusions of caffeine.
When the tea was finished, Ianto ushered Harry out of the office he and Jack had rented for the interview process. “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” He didn’t even bother arranging a taxi to take Harry home, because honestly, the man didn’t deserve such consideration. If he happened to fall asleep on public transport, that would be his tough luck. It would have been a different matter if young Mr Prentiss had driven to the interview, but since he’d know it might become necessary to Retcon someone, Ianto had taken pains to inform every candidate there was no parking available, and that they’d be reimbursed for all travel costs.
Closing the door behind the departing man, Ianto stumbled back to the desk and sat on the edge before his legs could give way.
“Better to find out now instead of after you hired him,” Jack pointed out.
Ianto sighed, shoulders drooping. “I know, but still, everything else about him was ideal, and he had some good ideas.”
“Which you’ll no doubt implement as soon as possible.” Jack knew his lover well.
“Of course I will, there’s no point wasting ideas, even if the person who came up with them is totally unsuitable. I have some doubts about him even being human! How can anyone not like coffee? It’s the perfect beverage, all year round!”
Ianto looked so bewildered and confused Jack couldn’t help but hug him. “Don’t worry about it, he was just a bad fit for the job. Sometimes people seem perfect on the surface, but when you dig a little deeper…”
“Mm.” Ianto’s voice sounded slightly muffled against Jack’s shoulder. “First impressions can’t always be trusted. Maybe we should add a question to the form we give potential candidates to fill in.”
“You mean, ‘On a scale of zero to ten, how much do you like coffee’?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘How do you take your coffee’? That way, we can say it’s so we can provide their beverage of choice at the interview.”
“Ah, clever!”
“Thanks, I thought so.”
“Okay, we’ll do that the next time we have to interview for a position. Are you ready for the next candidate?”
“I’m not sure, it’s quite possible I’m suffering from shock.”
“I can understand that. We can tell the rest that there’s been an emergency and ask them to come back another day.”
Ianto shook his head wearily. “No, that would just prolong the torture. How many more are there?”
“Just two: the girl from the university library, and the guy who worked at that museum…”
Ianto stepped back, frowning at Jack. “That would be the British Museum, Jack.”
Jack snapped his fingers, grinning. “That’s the one.”
“Right, because it’s only one of the most famous museums in the world.”
“Hey, I never claimed to know everything! That’s your job.”
“Of course it is. Well, best show willing; let’s have the next one.”
“Girl or guy?”
“Girl, I think.”
“That’ll be Sarah Flint.”
Ianto returned behind the desk as Jack ushered the next interviewee in.
“Ah, Ms Flint.” Ianto reached across the desk to shake her hand. “Sorry to keep you waiting. May I offer you a cup of coffee before we begin?”
“Ooh, yes please!” Sarah blushed slightly. “Sorry, I practically live on coffee, probably drink way too much. My mam says I’m addicted, but if I am… Well, there’s worse things to be addicted too, right?”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Ianto smiled as he poured three cups of his finest, passing one to Sarah, and one to Jack before resuming his seat and sipping from his own cup. “Now, why don’t you start by telling us a bit about yourself and why you’re interested in the job of archive assistant?”
Sarah might not have as many qualifications as Prentiss, but Ianto had a good feeling about her.
The End
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, OCs.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 963
Summary: There is one vitally important criterion for anyone who works for Torchwood, and its importance cannot be overstated.
Spoilers: None.
Written For: cozy_coffee’s prompt ‘Any, any, coffee,’ at comment_fic.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or any of the characters.
Judging by his resumé and the interview so far, Harry Prentiss was the ideal candidate for the job. He was young, fit, enthusiastic, and had already impressed Ianto with his knowledge of cataloguing systems, as well as a solid understanding of the difficulties involved in archive storage. He’d even put forward a couple of innovative ideas regarding the best ways to dealing with items of a similar nature that required radically different storage conditions in order to maintain them in good order.
Out of the five people they’d interviewed so far for the position of assistant archivist, he was hands down the best, and Ianto was almost ready to offer him the job, but first, a casual chat over refreshments might be in order. In his experience, people were always on their best behaviour during interviews; it never hurt to see what they were like once they felt more at ease.
“Right, let’s take a break, have some refreshments, and then we’ll get down to details. Coffee?”
“Ugh, no thanks, disgusting stuff; I never touch it, can’t even stand the smell. If I had my way, it’d be banned in all workplaces, like smoking is. No one should have to put up with that vile stink all the time.”
Somehow Ianto managed not to let his shock show on his face, fixing a bland smile in place. “Tea, then?”
“Ah, now that’s more like it! Don’t mind if I do. Nothing beats a good cuppa.”
It didn’t take Ianto long to serve up a perfect cup of tea, liberally dosed with Retcon. He was a bit disappointed, because Harry was so perfect for Torchwood in every other way, but the coffee thing was non-negotiable. Coffee was what kept Torchwood running; anyone who didn’t like it simply had no place there. Odds were, a new recruit wouldn’t survive their first day without regular infusions of caffeine.
When the tea was finished, Ianto ushered Harry out of the office he and Jack had rented for the interview process. “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” He didn’t even bother arranging a taxi to take Harry home, because honestly, the man didn’t deserve such consideration. If he happened to fall asleep on public transport, that would be his tough luck. It would have been a different matter if young Mr Prentiss had driven to the interview, but since he’d know it might become necessary to Retcon someone, Ianto had taken pains to inform every candidate there was no parking available, and that they’d be reimbursed for all travel costs.
Closing the door behind the departing man, Ianto stumbled back to the desk and sat on the edge before his legs could give way.
“Better to find out now instead of after you hired him,” Jack pointed out.
Ianto sighed, shoulders drooping. “I know, but still, everything else about him was ideal, and he had some good ideas.”
“Which you’ll no doubt implement as soon as possible.” Jack knew his lover well.
“Of course I will, there’s no point wasting ideas, even if the person who came up with them is totally unsuitable. I have some doubts about him even being human! How can anyone not like coffee? It’s the perfect beverage, all year round!”
Ianto looked so bewildered and confused Jack couldn’t help but hug him. “Don’t worry about it, he was just a bad fit for the job. Sometimes people seem perfect on the surface, but when you dig a little deeper…”
“Mm.” Ianto’s voice sounded slightly muffled against Jack’s shoulder. “First impressions can’t always be trusted. Maybe we should add a question to the form we give potential candidates to fill in.”
“You mean, ‘On a scale of zero to ten, how much do you like coffee’?”
“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘How do you take your coffee’? That way, we can say it’s so we can provide their beverage of choice at the interview.”
“Ah, clever!”
“Thanks, I thought so.”
“Okay, we’ll do that the next time we have to interview for a position. Are you ready for the next candidate?”
“I’m not sure, it’s quite possible I’m suffering from shock.”
“I can understand that. We can tell the rest that there’s been an emergency and ask them to come back another day.”
Ianto shook his head wearily. “No, that would just prolong the torture. How many more are there?”
“Just two: the girl from the university library, and the guy who worked at that museum…”
Ianto stepped back, frowning at Jack. “That would be the British Museum, Jack.”
Jack snapped his fingers, grinning. “That’s the one.”
“Right, because it’s only one of the most famous museums in the world.”
“Hey, I never claimed to know everything! That’s your job.”
“Of course it is. Well, best show willing; let’s have the next one.”
“Girl or guy?”
“Girl, I think.”
“That’ll be Sarah Flint.”
Ianto returned behind the desk as Jack ushered the next interviewee in.
“Ah, Ms Flint.” Ianto reached across the desk to shake her hand. “Sorry to keep you waiting. May I offer you a cup of coffee before we begin?”
“Ooh, yes please!” Sarah blushed slightly. “Sorry, I practically live on coffee, probably drink way too much. My mam says I’m addicted, but if I am… Well, there’s worse things to be addicted too, right?”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Ianto smiled as he poured three cups of his finest, passing one to Sarah, and one to Jack before resuming his seat and sipping from his own cup. “Now, why don’t you start by telling us a bit about yourself and why you’re interested in the job of archive assistant?”
Sarah might not have as many qualifications as Prentiss, but Ianto had a good feeling about her.
The End