BtVS Fic: Late Night Talk
Title: Late Night Talk
Fandom: BtVS
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy, Joyce.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1091
Setting: Just after Dead Man’s Party.
Summary: Joyce knows she’s messed up, so maybe it’s time she apologised to her daughter.
Written For: Challenge 399: Amnesty 66 at fan_flashworks, using Challenge 31: Apology.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
The Welcome Home party was over, the cleaning up, or at least the worst of it, had been dealt with, and the broken windows were boarded over, leaving the Summers’ house as secure as it could be under the circumstances. Everything else would have to wait until morning; hopefully what still needed doing would seem more manageable after a few hours’ sleep.
Worn out and emotionally wrecked, Buffy had headed for her room as soon as everyone had left, changing into her favourite pyjamas and crawling gratefully into bed, ready to put the whole fiasco behind her. She’d been just about to turn the bedside lamp out, but now her mother was standing in the doorway, just looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Buffy wondered if she’d maybe been at the peach schnapps again.
“Mom? Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. Is it?” Joyce came slowly into the room, running her fingers along the top of Buffy’s dresser. “I’m an adult, and your mother.” Turning, she crossed to the bed and sank onto the edge, looking more lost and exhausted than Buffy had ever seen her, even during the divorce. “I’m supposed to be the responsible, reliable one, but I’m not. I don’t know everything, and I don’t always get things right. It’s hard, being a parent, even being an adult! You think when you grow up, you’ll suddenly be able to figure everything out, but it doesn’t work like that. It just gets harder.”
“I know,” Buffy said, quietly but with feeling. She’d found out just how hard trying to be an adult was during the weeks she’d been alone in L.A., working in the diner and renting a crummy furnished room.
“Do you?” Joyce reached out to gently brush Buffy’s hair back. “Don’t be in too much of a hurry to grow up, sweetheart. Oh, I know,” she added quickly, before Buffy could interrupt. “You’ve already had to grow up way too fast, being the Slayer. Which, by the way, I still don’t completely understand. I’m trying, but it’s a lot to get my head around.”
“It was for me too,” Buffy admitted.
“I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through, with your Slayer duties, and then fending for yourself in L.A. I’m not sure I want to know, but I think I need to. Not right now, but when you’re ready to talk about it. I promise I’ll listen and try my best to understand.”
“Mom, I’m so sorry…”
“No.” Joyce shook her head. “No, I’m the one who should be apologising, not you. Instead of being supportive, trying to help, I drove you away, and that’s on me, I just… I didn’t think you’d really go. I wanted you to stay, to talk to me, explain what was going on. I thought if I laid down the law, you’d stop. I never for a moment thought you’d just leave…”
“I had to go, mom, there wasn’t time to explain. I had to stop the world from ending. Literally. If I’d stayed, the whole world and everyone in it would have been sucked into hell, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Sucked… I don’t understand.” Joyce gave her daughter a helpless look.
“Okay, short version; big stone demon, an arcane ritual performed to awaken him, he opens his mouth, creates a portal, and sucks everything into the hell dimensions. I had to stop that before it could happen.”
“Oh. But you did, right? You stopped it? What am I saying? Of course you did. You must have or we wouldn’t be here.”
“Yeah, I did it, but I was only just in time. The portal was already opening when I got there, and I had to… do something I really don’t wanna talk about. Not now, and maybe not ever.” Buffy looked away, picking at her comforter with nervous fingers.
“If you don’t want to talk about it then I won’t ask, but if you ever change your mind, I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“Thanks, mom. That means a lot.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. But Buffy? I am sorry, I should have told you that before. I screwed up, really badly, I know that. Parenting is…”
“Hard, I know. You already said.”
“It’s like everything else about being an adult; you sort of have to figure it out as you go, and no matter how hard I try, I’m not always going to get it right. I don’t think any parent does. We all make mistakes, more often than we care to admit; we just have to cross our fingers and hope we don’t screw our kids up too much, and that is nowhere near as comforting as it was meant to be. I’ve had too much peach schnapps. I’ll never be mom of the year if I have to resort to alcohol just to get up the courage to apologise to my daughter.” Joyce gave a shaky laugh.
“Actually, what you just said, it is kind of is comforting, in a weird sort of way.” Buffy smiled wryly. “If nobody’s perfect, not even my mom, then I guess maybe there’s still hope for me, and I’m not as much of a mess as I thought.”
“You are way too wise for your age.”
Buffy shook her head. “I don’t feel wise, mostly I just feel small, confused, and tired.”
“I’m not surprised you’re tired, all that fighting… The zombies are gone now, right? They won’t come back?”
“No, they’re gone for good. No more zombies, not with the mask destroyed. It’s just so much kindling now.”
“Okay, that’s good. I should let you get some sleep; I could do with some myself. But when you feel ready, we’ll talk. Maybe you can help me figure out how to be the kind of mom you need, supportive, but not clingy.”
“I love you, mom.”
“And I love you, more than anything. Don’t ever forget that.” Joyce kissed Buffy on the forehead and stood up. “Sleep as late as you want tomorrow. If I get up before you do, I’ll try to be quiet.” Straightening Buffy’s covers, she left the room, pausing to smile back at her daughter before closing the door. “Sweet dreams.”
“You too.”
Turning out her light, Buffy lay back against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling. There were still things that needed fixing, but for the first time in what felt like forever she dared to hope that maybe everything would be okay.
The End
Fandom: BtVS
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Buffy, Joyce.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1091
Setting: Just after Dead Man’s Party.
Summary: Joyce knows she’s messed up, so maybe it’s time she apologised to her daughter.
Written For: Challenge 399: Amnesty 66 at fan_flashworks, using Challenge 31: Apology.
Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS, or the characters.
The Welcome Home party was over, the cleaning up, or at least the worst of it, had been dealt with, and the broken windows were boarded over, leaving the Summers’ house as secure as it could be under the circumstances. Everything else would have to wait until morning; hopefully what still needed doing would seem more manageable after a few hours’ sleep.
Worn out and emotionally wrecked, Buffy had headed for her room as soon as everyone had left, changing into her favourite pyjamas and crawling gratefully into bed, ready to put the whole fiasco behind her. She’d been just about to turn the bedside lamp out, but now her mother was standing in the doorway, just looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Buffy wondered if she’d maybe been at the peach schnapps again.
“Mom? Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. Is it?” Joyce came slowly into the room, running her fingers along the top of Buffy’s dresser. “I’m an adult, and your mother.” Turning, she crossed to the bed and sank onto the edge, looking more lost and exhausted than Buffy had ever seen her, even during the divorce. “I’m supposed to be the responsible, reliable one, but I’m not. I don’t know everything, and I don’t always get things right. It’s hard, being a parent, even being an adult! You think when you grow up, you’ll suddenly be able to figure everything out, but it doesn’t work like that. It just gets harder.”
“I know,” Buffy said, quietly but with feeling. She’d found out just how hard trying to be an adult was during the weeks she’d been alone in L.A., working in the diner and renting a crummy furnished room.
“Do you?” Joyce reached out to gently brush Buffy’s hair back. “Don’t be in too much of a hurry to grow up, sweetheart. Oh, I know,” she added quickly, before Buffy could interrupt. “You’ve already had to grow up way too fast, being the Slayer. Which, by the way, I still don’t completely understand. I’m trying, but it’s a lot to get my head around.”
“It was for me too,” Buffy admitted.
“I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through, with your Slayer duties, and then fending for yourself in L.A. I’m not sure I want to know, but I think I need to. Not right now, but when you’re ready to talk about it. I promise I’ll listen and try my best to understand.”
“Mom, I’m so sorry…”
“No.” Joyce shook her head. “No, I’m the one who should be apologising, not you. Instead of being supportive, trying to help, I drove you away, and that’s on me, I just… I didn’t think you’d really go. I wanted you to stay, to talk to me, explain what was going on. I thought if I laid down the law, you’d stop. I never for a moment thought you’d just leave…”
“I had to go, mom, there wasn’t time to explain. I had to stop the world from ending. Literally. If I’d stayed, the whole world and everyone in it would have been sucked into hell, and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Sucked… I don’t understand.” Joyce gave her daughter a helpless look.
“Okay, short version; big stone demon, an arcane ritual performed to awaken him, he opens his mouth, creates a portal, and sucks everything into the hell dimensions. I had to stop that before it could happen.”
“Oh. But you did, right? You stopped it? What am I saying? Of course you did. You must have or we wouldn’t be here.”
“Yeah, I did it, but I was only just in time. The portal was already opening when I got there, and I had to… do something I really don’t wanna talk about. Not now, and maybe not ever.” Buffy looked away, picking at her comforter with nervous fingers.
“If you don’t want to talk about it then I won’t ask, but if you ever change your mind, I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“Thanks, mom. That means a lot.”
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. But Buffy? I am sorry, I should have told you that before. I screwed up, really badly, I know that. Parenting is…”
“Hard, I know. You already said.”
“It’s like everything else about being an adult; you sort of have to figure it out as you go, and no matter how hard I try, I’m not always going to get it right. I don’t think any parent does. We all make mistakes, more often than we care to admit; we just have to cross our fingers and hope we don’t screw our kids up too much, and that is nowhere near as comforting as it was meant to be. I’ve had too much peach schnapps. I’ll never be mom of the year if I have to resort to alcohol just to get up the courage to apologise to my daughter.” Joyce gave a shaky laugh.
“Actually, what you just said, it is kind of is comforting, in a weird sort of way.” Buffy smiled wryly. “If nobody’s perfect, not even my mom, then I guess maybe there’s still hope for me, and I’m not as much of a mess as I thought.”
“You are way too wise for your age.”
Buffy shook her head. “I don’t feel wise, mostly I just feel small, confused, and tired.”
“I’m not surprised you’re tired, all that fighting… The zombies are gone now, right? They won’t come back?”
“No, they’re gone for good. No more zombies, not with the mask destroyed. It’s just so much kindling now.”
“Okay, that’s good. I should let you get some sleep; I could do with some myself. But when you feel ready, we’ll talk. Maybe you can help me figure out how to be the kind of mom you need, supportive, but not clingy.”
“I love you, mom.”
“And I love you, more than anything. Don’t ever forget that.” Joyce kissed Buffy on the forehead and stood up. “Sleep as late as you want tomorrow. If I get up before you do, I’ll try to be quiet.” Straightening Buffy’s covers, she left the room, pausing to smile back at her daughter before closing the door. “Sweet dreams.”
“You too.”
Turning out her light, Buffy lay back against her pillows, staring up at the ceiling. There were still things that needed fixing, but for the first time in what felt like forever she dared to hope that maybe everything would be okay.
The End