(Untitled)

[babydragoneye]

Title: none

Comments

[geri]

I like what you have wrote so far and i can imagine sanzo being annoyed about having the talk with goku about sex and goyjo teasing sanzo until he got some sort of rise out of him. But ultimately sanzo shut him down with that lie by saying he had sex at the age of 12.

Hakkai is also right they may fight alot but they always take care of each other especially goku even thruogh he is technicaly the oldest he'also the youngest member of the crew so they always pay that much more attention to whomever he may come into contact with. I look forward to your next post. You did a fine job writing sanzo and doing the pairing of sanzo and goku for a first timer.

[babydragoneye]

I'm glad you like it. Thank you so much for reviewing.

The thing about being 12... it's suppose to be referencing Shuei. He never says it out right, even in his inner dialog, though he does say there was that one person who he half way respected. He tells Goku it was a lie because he doesn't want Goku to know... But he didn't lie. It's one of the liberties I took on things that are hinted at in the series. They show Shuei as being pretty obsessed with Sanzo... buuuut yeah.

[gen50]

i half-suspected it was Shuei - in your fic - after all he got the beads, something Koryou personally owned

they actually value each other, not just for their talents, but because they do feel for each other- except needs to deny things...

interesting character insights.

[babydragoneye]

Yeah, I think Shuei was totally someone who Sanzo really... cared for I suppose would be the best word. I think I go into things a little more, at least in the way that it affected Sanzo, a little later in the story, which I will post up as soon as I get to a good stopping spot. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

[anonymous]

This is actually a strong and well-executed story. You could use a beta for some minor clean-up [no worries, we were warned] but otherwise it stands well on it's own. I liked that it preserved Sanzo's outer aloofness while showing that he actually comprehends it's source - and [slightly] mourns what he can't give Goku. Fic's where Sanzo's inner dialogue extends beyond 'die assholes' are very rare; thank you for the believable contribution to a small field.

[babydragoneye]

Thank you! I love well rounded reviews so much XD I really need a beta, but I don't really have any friends who are into Saiyuki, so it's hard to get one. Sanzo says die assholes enough in his spoken dialogue that he doesn't need it in his inner dialogue XD. I think he's a bit deeper than that. XD Thank you so much for your review.

[babydragoneye]

Hee, thank you! I just hope he doesn't start to sound too...off in the next chapters. I'm so glad you like it!

[meobnal]

Very interesting start. I like your Sanzo very much.

[babydragoneye]

I'm so glad you do! I was so worried about posting it, I worry he's almost too introspective.

[purpleicicles]

Mmmm, I really liked how you dissected all their different reasons for their views on sex and intimacy, but especially how you uncovered Sanzo's deeply buried affection for Goku, and showed how he really does care. I spotted a couple of typos, but nothing major;

where the monks were suppose to practice celibacy. Suppose to. suppose --> supposed

I want to shot it right off his face. shot --> shoot

I didn’t know why I was giving in to his bate. bate --> bait

There’s no why for me. Now shut up and leave me a lone. a lone --> alone

However, this was a great read, and the characterisation was superb! Thank you!

[babydragoneye]

It was really the whole I started the story, just thinking about what kind of views they all had on sex, and Sanzo's particularly I think isn't really explored much.

Thank you for pointing out the typos. I totally need a beta. I will edit it as soon as I have a real chance to. XD

[purpleicicles]

If you want a beta, then I'd gladly offer my services! You have a really nice clear writing style, though, so don't take the nit-picking as a negative thing!! (I do it a lot ^^;;;)

[babydragoneye]

I would love a beta! I love constructive criticism and nit-picking is an amazing thing XD I have the next chapter pretty much done if you want me to email it to you. If you want to email me your address mine is the same as my username at gmail.com.