They got nothing on you
Title: They got nothing on you
Author: babycloud_ai
Pairing: Doojoon / Dongwoon
Rating: Pg 13
Author's Notes: My first non Suju fic and it’s my first time posting so I’m nervous since I think it’s badly written (not a fan of my own word usage) unbeta’ed so please be nice, leave me some love even if it’s tough love ♥
This has nothing to do with their actual live whatsoever.
Beautiful girls, all over the world,
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you ~ baby
Nothing on you baby
Dongwoon looks up from the page and scowled at the man across him. He’s been trying to finish the last volume of his mecha manhwa but was not able to ever since the leader came into the living room and plopped himself on the floor. Doojoon grinned and started singing the same verse all over again.
“Hyung, shut up. You’ve been singing that part over and over again it’s getting old.” He eyed the older man chuckling as he got up and threw himself on the couch beside him, completely ignoring his complaints. Slinging an arm around him, Doojoon snatched the comic away and tossed it aside.
“Hyung!”
“Beautiful girls, all over the world~” He starts again, singing with conviction and exaggerated hand gestures “They got nothing on you baby” the man pinches his cheek and winks as he invades into his space. “Nothing on yo-”
“Shut up bitch!” Junhyung came up from behind and thwacked the leader with a cushion.
“Ya! You spoiling my fun!” Doojoon yelled and scrambled up from the couch to wrestle with the rapper.
Dongwoon watched them a bit stunned from Doojoon’s antics, a familiar feeling surfacing beneath the flush of his skin. A feeling he had always passed on as nothing more than admiration for the man who is a great singer, a good dancer and an awesome leader. Someone he looks up to and wants to emulate. Someone whom he is intimidated and so awed by that he gets nervous and shy whenever the other stands too close.
Like when they first started, he will automatically clamped up whenever doojoon’s around, going all jittery whenever he was spoken to even though he was never the type of person to be shy around people. Unlike with the rest of his hyungs, it had taken awhile for him to warm up to Doojoon, well, except for maybe Junhyung. He was scared of the rapper at first because he looked like a thug but that’s beside the point. It was just different with Doojoon.
It was hard for him to be in the same room as him without being super self conscious especially when he realized he’s lacking in every aspect compared to his hyungs. He can’t sing like Yoseob and Kikwang, he’s not a dancing machine like Junhyung and Hyunseung and he’s not a fast learner like Doojoon. He’s just mediocre at best. He has to work twice as hard than the rest, particularly dancing and it’s even harder for him because the choreographer hyungs seems to like pairing him with Doojoon. But he doesn’t dread those grueling dance practices. Doojoon made it easier for him, filling in the gaps with empty chatter and pointing out his mistakes with his light teasing. Sometimes Junhyung or Hyunseung would be there to help out but they tend to get impatient at times, so even if he’s awkward around Doojoon, he would squash his unease and let the man coach him simply because he’s a better teacher.
He’s used to Doojoon’s presence now. Now he could speak and sit with the leader comfortably. Now he could do all the fanservices that seems to be the perquisite for all boy bands without his heart stuttering so much even though he’s still shy at times. Like during one of their Special performances, instead of the normal touch and go, Doojoon had tapped him on the shoulder, grabbed his wrist and pointed out how he made him feel alive (you make me feel alive,live) the fans went wild when they spotted him smiling shyly to himself. The guys teased them after they’ve reviewed their performance and he couldn’t look Doojoon in the eye for quite some time after that.
Kikwang came out of their shared room to see what’s the racket all about and looked to him for answers. Dongwoon just shrugged, retrieving his manhwa and headed to the kitchen where Kikwang tailed after him.
“He annoyed Junnie hyung with that song didn’t he? I could hear him all the way from the room.”
“Yeah, the man can be pretty obsessed sometimes.” He said, opening the fridge for some juice and sat at the table. Kikwang joined him.
“Obsessed with you more like it.”
“What?”
“Obsessed with you. He only sings it when you’re around.” Kikwang rested his chin on a palm and sipped from his glass.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Kikwang scratched his head, probably wondering where the assumption came from too.
“I don’t know but he really does that only when you’re around.” The singer paused “maybe he has a man crush on you.”
He stared at his friend. He knew Kikwang could be an airhead sometimes but this is just… “Man crush?”
Kikwang nodded fervently. “Yeah, you know, like how I have a thing for Hyunseung hyung.”
“Wait, you have a thing for Hyunseung hyung? Really?”
Kikwang cocks his head aside and frowns. “I thought everyone knew?” Dongwoon shook his head implying he knew nothing at all. “Well, I’ve never tried to hide it.”
“When?”
“When what?”
“You know”
Kikwang sank in his chair training his eyes onto the cabinet behind Dongwoon and says softly. “I don’t know, I just started liking him a whole lot more than I should.” Dongwoon didn’t say anything. Kikwang seems lost in his own world as if trying to find that one particular memory that would be able to tell him when he’s feelings changed.
He straightened up suddenly, eyes bright and mouth smiling. Dongwoon turns around and sees the object of Kikwang’s affection raiding the fridge.
“Hey baby.” He chirps.
Hyunseung shot them both a smile and continued with his raiding. Dongwoon turns back and watched his friend. It was glaringly obvious now that he knew which bags the question the singer had posed earlier. Does Doojoon like him that way?
“Honey, have you seen the banana milk I bought a few days back?” Even from the back of his head he could see the older man pouting.
“I don’t know babe, I didn’t notice. Do you want me to get it for you?” Kikwang asked eagerly.
“Nah, it’s okay.”
Dongwoon heard the other leaving and watched Kikwang’s grin softened into something sad before heaving a sigh.
“Sometimes I wished he would stop playing along. It gets my hopes up even though I know it’s hopeless.”
“You said everyone knew about how you feel but have you actually confessed?” he asked, curious about the goings on between the two.
He didn’t know if Kikwang has been clinging on more to Hyunseung or if he has been extra nice to the other because that’s just how Kikwang is, he’s naturally affectionate, he hangs on to everyone. He did however notice the way they addressed each other but didn’t put much thought to it.
“I did.”
“You did? Then what did he say?”
“He just smiled that beautiful smile of his and said he likes me too, as a friend that is.”
Dongwoon sympathizes with his friend’s plight. He thought that Hyunseung shouldn’t have played along knowing how Kikwang felt for him. “But you still like him don’t you?”
“I don’t think I can like anyone else.” He smiles gently.
“Honey,” Hyunseung pops his head into the kitchen “wanna go to the mart with me?”
“Sure.” Kikwang grinned “think about it.” He whispered before flouncing off towards the door.
He thought about it alright, didn’t and couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, following Doojoon with his eyes wherever he went in the process and getting caught staring a number of times.
Frankly, he doesn’t think Doojoon was acting any different than usual. Maybe Kikwang was just reading too much into it. Doojoon could be anything but gay, hell, not even bisexual. An attractive man like that, he could get all the girls he wants so why would he want a kid like him?
The lights went out.
“Nite guys.”
He shifted to his side, surprised to hear Doojoon’s voice beside him and found the leader plumping up Kikwang’s pillow. “Hyung, what are you doing here?”
“Hmm…” Doojoon lay on his side to face him “Just felt like it so I persuaded Kikwang to change with me.” His lips stretched into a grin.
“Persuaded? I think you’re just flaunting your authority. What if he actually minds it?”
“Why?”
“For whatever reason.” He shrugged.
“Like having a morning glory in front of Hyunseung?” Doojoon whispered.
“Hyung!” He shoves the man’s shoulder away playfully feeling bad that he finds it funny. At the other end Junhyung grunts as he stifled his laughter and he wondered if Kikwang heard what had been said. They really shouldn’t be making fun of him.
“Nite hyung.” Dongwoon says and shifted on his back.
“Do you mind me sleeping here then?” Doojoon asked quietly enough for him to hear.
“Of course not hyung.” Why should he, he thought as he stared at the roof of his bunk waiting for sleep to come long after the others drifted off.
Doojoon was still in bed when he woke up the next day. The leader was normally the one to get up first so it was obviously still early. Dongwoon didn’t move, intending to get more sleep if he could, laying still letting the sleepy world outside lull him back to sleep.
Doojoon shifted in Kikwang’s bed as he was starting to drift, opening his eyes long enough to see the leader waking before shutting his lids, his ears picking up on the sounds Doojoon made. The bed creaks a little but nothing more was heard after that. The man was probably zoning out before getting up to do whatever he does in the morning.
The edge of his mattress dipped gently. Sensing rather than seeing, he wonders what the leader is up to hovering above him like that when he felt a soft brush of what he thought would be Doojoon’s lips on his cheek, his mind going blank for that fleeting second before a slow dawning came upon him.
“You seem distracted today.” Kikwang said later that day after they got back from dance practice.
“Was I?”
Kikwang nodded. “Something wrong? Are you unwell?”
Dongwoon hesitates. He was unsure if he should confide in his friend openly in the dorm but it seems like a good time since Doojoon and Yoseob had been shipped off to record some variety show and the other two were sent to get groceries. “Doojoon hyung kissed me this morning.”
“Really? Wow, you guys are fast, I was just~”
“Not like that Kiki” He cuts him off “It was on the cheek when he thought I was asleep.”
“Oh,” Kikwang replied and asked carefully watching him close. “How do you feel?” he shrugged. He had been contemplating that question since it happened. “You don’t know? Let me help. Do you feel appalled?”
“It’s only on the cheek what’s there to be disgusted about?”
“A guy doesn’t kiss another guy not even on the cheek… well maybe playfully but definitely not secretly so tell me how you feel.” Kikwang insisted.
“I don’t know hyung. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“If it wasn’t a big deal then you wouldn’t be thinking about it the whole day.” Kikwang pointed out.
“I don’t know hyung, I’m confused.” Yes, confused as to why he didn’t react, why he didn’t feel weird out by the fact that Doojoon might have feelings for him and he himself was uncertain of how he actually felt for the leader. “How do you know you like Hyunseung hyung?”
“Hmm… for me I think it was by realizing that I watched him way too much for it to be normal and I feel strangely happy when he’s around… I don’t know, it’s hard to describe. I just knew.” Kikwang leans back into the sofa and props his legs on the coffee table.
“That’s not much help Kiki.”
“Sorry.” Kikwang pouts.
Dongwoon sighs. It doesn’t matter. He knew the singer was just trying to help. “It’s okay.”
“Well, how about this? Do you feel insanely shy or nervous at times when he’s near you or hangs onto you closer than it’s appropriate? Coz I think that’s another way of telling.”
He had to think about that for a bit because he had a lot of practice dealing with it that it’s no longer a problem. Not saying that it lessened though. “What if it’s just a sign that I’m uncomfortable with him?”
“Then chances are you don’t swing that way but are you really uncomfortable?”
“Honey!”
Kikwang jumps up and made a beeline for Hyunseung at the door to relieve the man off the bag of groceries. He sighs, deciding not to pick his brain anymore and followed his hyung to the kitchen.
“Wha-” he squinted in the dark “Hyung? What are you doing?”
“Move over woon. God, I’m so tired.”
Yoseob was already squeezing in with Kikwang. Dongwoon shifted to give the man some space preferring to get back to sleep and turned to face the wall. There was a bit of squabbling on Kikwang’s side until Doojoon told them to quiet down. They did fell silent but not without much fidgeting.
“Stop that you two.” Doojoon chided.
He heard someone got out of bed and climbed up the bunk, most probably Kikwang giving up his bed for Yoseob.
“Finally.” Doojoon said and draped his arm around him “nite babe.”
“I’m not a babe.” He mumbles nudging the man with his elbow and snuggled against his chest.
“Sure.” Doojoon mumbles as well and draws him closer.
Well this is comfy he thought and he wonders if he should even let Doojoon hold him.
Waking up in tangled limbs with Doojoon was the weirdest feeling ever, disjointed inner thoughts poking his sleepy bout as he stirs, disoriented and sluggish as Doojoon smiled lazily and presses his lips on his.
“Morning babe”
“I’m not a babe.” He murmurs against those slightly parched lips. Doojoon pulls back and eyed him. “What?”
“Nothing?” Doojoon grinned and gave him a quick peck before getting up.
Dongwoon watched the man realizing that he’ll probably let Doojoon get away with anything.
He wonders why this whole thing has to be complicated now that he understood what he felt for him. It’s just too complex and confusing for him to grasp or perhaps it’s just him over thinking because he doesn’t know if Doojoon wants more out of him since nothing had changed after that morning. Doojoon had been how he has always been. Nothing changed between them, period.
His heart aches whenever he remembers and that makes him mad. Why must he be such a kid? Getting affected with something like a kiss and it wasn’t even with tongue. Doojoon was probably playing around, teasing him like he always does.
Dongwoon attempts a smile and glances away when Doojoon winks at him from the mirror while cleaning off his make up with a wet wipe. He chats with Kikwang, forcing his attention elsewhere, forcing himself to be normal when Doojoon joins them. He’s totally fine. He had a lot of practice where Doojoon is concern and if Kikwang couldn’t pick up on his mood, then he could probably suggest to their manager to pick him for casting auditions the next time round.
He hung back a little as they headed out of the studio building to the van, cranking up his I pod and drown out his band mates chattering with angsty shit. They were talking about picking some stuff from a mart on their way home. He doesn’t see the need to participate in the discussion of what to do when the girls come to hang later. They can get excited all by themselves.
After weeks of putting up a front, he’s ready to collapse on his bed, bundle himself up and rot in the room. Definitely not the mood to entertain noisy girls besides, he sees them almost all the time in Cube building so they’ll just have to excuse him if he ends up being irate with them since he can’t chase them out. Junhyung will have his balls if he does that. The rapper had been going on and on about Hyuna ever since Change. Restraining himself from rolling his eyes, he could practically read Hyuna’s name on the rapper’s lips from the review mirror. No point getting into trouble just because he’s in emo mode.
He paid Doojoon no heed when he slid in beside him, annoying how he’s shivering inwardly when their sides touched. Why does he have to sit so near when there’s plenty of space beside Yoseob? He frowns when his earphone was plucked off.
“What do you wanna eat?”
Nothing. “Anything.” He shrugs and tried to take his earphone back. Doojoon slips it into his ear.
“Aisshh,” he flinches “you wanna go deaf? Slow it down.” Dongwoon tugs it off his ear and ignores him. The leader grabs his hand. “Now Dongwoon.”
“Fine.” He snaps. Doojoon looks taken aback and frowns at him. He jabs at the gadget doing as he was told and slid it back into his ear, beyond caring if the leader was trying to figure him out inside his head.
“Okay what’s wrong?” Doojoon pulled him aside once they reached the mart.
Dongwoon bit on his lip wanting so much to tell what’s bothering him but he just can’t bring himself to. If Doojoon doesn’t know then he might as well forget this whole thing.
“Nothing hyung. I’m just a little tired that’s all.” He gave a small smile and walks away.
He needs to get out of here before he explodes, sitting there watching Doojoon and Jiyoon impersonating Junhyung and Hyuna is making him sick, sick of seeing Doojoon all over the girl even if it’s meant to be a parody. It wasn’t remotely funny to him and it makes him feel overtly stupid and disgusted with himself he wants to hurl.
Dongwoon stood up. He doubts anyone will miss him in the ruckus and slips out of the dorm with someone else’s shoes. Blinking his burning eyes, he made his way to the elevator, not really thinking where he could go without his jacket and wallet.
He finds himself wandering at the rooftop poking around curiously at the water tanks and walking the perimeters. He approaches the edge and lean against the parapet looking out into the distance. The windy night cooled his head and he stood there a long while thinking
He doesn’t like to be upset. He doesn’t want to be upset with Doojoon at all. It’s not a good thing harboring this resentment when they’re living together. There’s really no point getting hurt over nothing and if he was sensible, he should just forget it, let it slide. No one said he should stop liking Doojoon. He just needs to stop expecting more. Everything would be just fine if he just let it be.
The jingle of his phone was loud startling him from his thoughts. He stares at Doojoon’s name flashing on its screen and sighs.
“Where are you?”
“At the rooftop.” He replied calmly.
“What are you doing there?”
“Just needed some air.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine hyung.”
“Come on down, it’s already late and the girls have already gone home.”
“I will.” He smiles softly. Doojoon fell silent.
“I’ll come and get you if you’re not here in five.”
“Okay.” He snaps his phone shut. He doesn’t feel like moving from his spot just yet, still needing to gather himself before he could face Doojoon.
“Hi”
He spun around at the familiar voice and smiles awkwardly. “Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just chilling.”
“It sure is chilly out here. Didn’t you have fun just now?”
“Sure, I especially enjoyed that Change parody you did with Jiyoon.” He couldn’t quite stop the sarcasm dripping from his voice and looks away from a grinning Doojoon. So much for resolution.
“You like it so much you left before it ends?” Doojoon teased, sauntering up to him.
“I hated it.” He gritted his teeth.
His heart sped up, blood rising to his face when Doojoon cages him and noses the line of his neck. They had never been this close and Doojoon was never like this.
“I’ll show you another parody then. Well, more like a song cover.”
“No thanks.” He doesn’t want any of Doojoon’s silly parodies. He just wants to stay like this.
“No you have to listen to this. It’s really awesome.” Doojoon backs away clearing his throat in an exaggerated fashion as Dongwoon eyes him. “Beautiful girls all over the world”
He snorts. “What’s this? A rerun? You’re just going to end up sounding like a broken record.”
“Shh… I’m not done yet.” Doojoon shushed him and starts again. “Beautiful girls all over the world I could be chasing but my time would be wasted. They got nothing on you baby ~ Nothing on you baby” his tone lowered a few notch, stepping forward to reach out for him and cups his face gently, eying him with so much affection it makes him want to swoon. “They might say hi and I might say hey but you shouldn't worry about what they say. Coz they got nothing on you ~ baby. Nothing on you baby…”
Doojoon’s voice trailed off, studying him silently with his fingers and thoughtful eyes.
“What’s awesome about that?” Dongwoon asked quietly. His eyes drawn to Doojoon’s lips which was perceptibly closer.
“Nothing.” The man whispers.
He closes the distance, dragging the tip of his tongue over Doojoon’s bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. He could feel him smiling against his lips as the man tugs him closer and reversed their position. Dongwoon clung onto him, leaning into the support of Doojoon’s arm that wraps him tight, quivering at the slide of Doojoon’s tongue in his mouth which coaxed him to open wider and he lets Doojoon take control.
It was far from the sweet innocent first kiss he expected. Doojoon kisses him like he had always wanted him. So hot and intense he couldn’t breathe. He pulls away, panting and needing to stop because he feels himself wanting and he’s not ready for that just yet.
“Hyung stop.” He pushes the man gently before he could trail further down his neck. Doojoon gazed at him questioningly and apologized.
“I’m sorry, we’ll take it slow.”
Dongwoon buries his face, smelling Doojoon’s fading cologne. “It’s okay.”
“And I’m sorry” Doojoon continues “I should have done something, clarify what I want us to be and be open about it.”
“It’s okay hyung. It doesn’t matter anymore.” He whispers. Truth be told, he would even be willing to be Doojoon’s fuck buddy if he wants it that way. But he knew Doojoon isn’t anything like that and he’s glad for that.
Kikwang raises his brows comically when he spotted their intertwined hands. Doojoon winks at him looking positively blissful while Dongwoon smiled shyly with blush staining his cheeks.
He laughs and let them through the door knowing as well that he would be sleeping in Doojoon’s bed again tonight.
Well at least someone gets their happy ending. He sighs wistfully and shuts the door.
End…
Are you saying you like me too?
Author: babycloud_ai
Pairing: Doojoon / Dongwoon
Rating: Pg 13
Author's Notes: My first non Suju fic and it’s my first time posting so I’m nervous since I think it’s badly written (not a fan of my own word usage) unbeta’ed so please be nice, leave me some love even if it’s tough love ♥
This has nothing to do with their actual live whatsoever.
Beautiful girls, all over the world,
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted
They got nothing on you ~ baby
Nothing on you baby
Dongwoon looks up from the page and scowled at the man across him. He’s been trying to finish the last volume of his mecha manhwa but was not able to ever since the leader came into the living room and plopped himself on the floor. Doojoon grinned and started singing the same verse all over again.
“Hyung, shut up. You’ve been singing that part over and over again it’s getting old.” He eyed the older man chuckling as he got up and threw himself on the couch beside him, completely ignoring his complaints. Slinging an arm around him, Doojoon snatched the comic away and tossed it aside.
“Hyung!”
“Beautiful girls, all over the world~” He starts again, singing with conviction and exaggerated hand gestures “They got nothing on you baby” the man pinches his cheek and winks as he invades into his space. “Nothing on yo-”
“Shut up bitch!” Junhyung came up from behind and thwacked the leader with a cushion.
“Ya! You spoiling my fun!” Doojoon yelled and scrambled up from the couch to wrestle with the rapper.
Dongwoon watched them a bit stunned from Doojoon’s antics, a familiar feeling surfacing beneath the flush of his skin. A feeling he had always passed on as nothing more than admiration for the man who is a great singer, a good dancer and an awesome leader. Someone he looks up to and wants to emulate. Someone whom he is intimidated and so awed by that he gets nervous and shy whenever the other stands too close.
Like when they first started, he will automatically clamped up whenever doojoon’s around, going all jittery whenever he was spoken to even though he was never the type of person to be shy around people. Unlike with the rest of his hyungs, it had taken awhile for him to warm up to Doojoon, well, except for maybe Junhyung. He was scared of the rapper at first because he looked like a thug but that’s beside the point. It was just different with Doojoon.
It was hard for him to be in the same room as him without being super self conscious especially when he realized he’s lacking in every aspect compared to his hyungs. He can’t sing like Yoseob and Kikwang, he’s not a dancing machine like Junhyung and Hyunseung and he’s not a fast learner like Doojoon. He’s just mediocre at best. He has to work twice as hard than the rest, particularly dancing and it’s even harder for him because the choreographer hyungs seems to like pairing him with Doojoon. But he doesn’t dread those grueling dance practices. Doojoon made it easier for him, filling in the gaps with empty chatter and pointing out his mistakes with his light teasing. Sometimes Junhyung or Hyunseung would be there to help out but they tend to get impatient at times, so even if he’s awkward around Doojoon, he would squash his unease and let the man coach him simply because he’s a better teacher.
He’s used to Doojoon’s presence now. Now he could speak and sit with the leader comfortably. Now he could do all the fanservices that seems to be the perquisite for all boy bands without his heart stuttering so much even though he’s still shy at times. Like during one of their Special performances, instead of the normal touch and go, Doojoon had tapped him on the shoulder, grabbed his wrist and pointed out how he made him feel alive (you make me feel alive,live) the fans went wild when they spotted him smiling shyly to himself. The guys teased them after they’ve reviewed their performance and he couldn’t look Doojoon in the eye for quite some time after that.
Kikwang came out of their shared room to see what’s the racket all about and looked to him for answers. Dongwoon just shrugged, retrieving his manhwa and headed to the kitchen where Kikwang tailed after him.
“He annoyed Junnie hyung with that song didn’t he? I could hear him all the way from the room.”
“Yeah, the man can be pretty obsessed sometimes.” He said, opening the fridge for some juice and sat at the table. Kikwang joined him.
“Obsessed with you more like it.”
“What?”
“Obsessed with you. He only sings it when you’re around.” Kikwang rested his chin on a palm and sipped from his glass.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Kikwang scratched his head, probably wondering where the assumption came from too.
“I don’t know but he really does that only when you’re around.” The singer paused “maybe he has a man crush on you.”
He stared at his friend. He knew Kikwang could be an airhead sometimes but this is just… “Man crush?”
Kikwang nodded fervently. “Yeah, you know, like how I have a thing for Hyunseung hyung.”
“Wait, you have a thing for Hyunseung hyung? Really?”
Kikwang cocks his head aside and frowns. “I thought everyone knew?” Dongwoon shook his head implying he knew nothing at all. “Well, I’ve never tried to hide it.”
“When?”
“When what?”
“You know”
Kikwang sank in his chair training his eyes onto the cabinet behind Dongwoon and says softly. “I don’t know, I just started liking him a whole lot more than I should.” Dongwoon didn’t say anything. Kikwang seems lost in his own world as if trying to find that one particular memory that would be able to tell him when he’s feelings changed.
He straightened up suddenly, eyes bright and mouth smiling. Dongwoon turns around and sees the object of Kikwang’s affection raiding the fridge.
“Hey baby.” He chirps.
Hyunseung shot them both a smile and continued with his raiding. Dongwoon turns back and watched his friend. It was glaringly obvious now that he knew which bags the question the singer had posed earlier. Does Doojoon like him that way?
“Honey, have you seen the banana milk I bought a few days back?” Even from the back of his head he could see the older man pouting.
“I don’t know babe, I didn’t notice. Do you want me to get it for you?” Kikwang asked eagerly.
“Nah, it’s okay.”
Dongwoon heard the other leaving and watched Kikwang’s grin softened into something sad before heaving a sigh.
“Sometimes I wished he would stop playing along. It gets my hopes up even though I know it’s hopeless.”
“You said everyone knew about how you feel but have you actually confessed?” he asked, curious about the goings on between the two.
He didn’t know if Kikwang has been clinging on more to Hyunseung or if he has been extra nice to the other because that’s just how Kikwang is, he’s naturally affectionate, he hangs on to everyone. He did however notice the way they addressed each other but didn’t put much thought to it.
“I did.”
“You did? Then what did he say?”
“He just smiled that beautiful smile of his and said he likes me too, as a friend that is.”
Dongwoon sympathizes with his friend’s plight. He thought that Hyunseung shouldn’t have played along knowing how Kikwang felt for him. “But you still like him don’t you?”
“I don’t think I can like anyone else.” He smiles gently.
“Honey,” Hyunseung pops his head into the kitchen “wanna go to the mart with me?”
“Sure.” Kikwang grinned “think about it.” He whispered before flouncing off towards the door.
He thought about it alright, didn’t and couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, following Doojoon with his eyes wherever he went in the process and getting caught staring a number of times.
Frankly, he doesn’t think Doojoon was acting any different than usual. Maybe Kikwang was just reading too much into it. Doojoon could be anything but gay, hell, not even bisexual. An attractive man like that, he could get all the girls he wants so why would he want a kid like him?
The lights went out.
“Nite guys.”
He shifted to his side, surprised to hear Doojoon’s voice beside him and found the leader plumping up Kikwang’s pillow. “Hyung, what are you doing here?”
“Hmm…” Doojoon lay on his side to face him “Just felt like it so I persuaded Kikwang to change with me.” His lips stretched into a grin.
“Persuaded? I think you’re just flaunting your authority. What if he actually minds it?”
“Why?”
“For whatever reason.” He shrugged.
“Like having a morning glory in front of Hyunseung?” Doojoon whispered.
“Hyung!” He shoves the man’s shoulder away playfully feeling bad that he finds it funny. At the other end Junhyung grunts as he stifled his laughter and he wondered if Kikwang heard what had been said. They really shouldn’t be making fun of him.
“Nite hyung.” Dongwoon says and shifted on his back.
“Do you mind me sleeping here then?” Doojoon asked quietly enough for him to hear.
“Of course not hyung.” Why should he, he thought as he stared at the roof of his bunk waiting for sleep to come long after the others drifted off.
Doojoon was still in bed when he woke up the next day. The leader was normally the one to get up first so it was obviously still early. Dongwoon didn’t move, intending to get more sleep if he could, laying still letting the sleepy world outside lull him back to sleep.
Doojoon shifted in Kikwang’s bed as he was starting to drift, opening his eyes long enough to see the leader waking before shutting his lids, his ears picking up on the sounds Doojoon made. The bed creaks a little but nothing more was heard after that. The man was probably zoning out before getting up to do whatever he does in the morning.
The edge of his mattress dipped gently. Sensing rather than seeing, he wonders what the leader is up to hovering above him like that when he felt a soft brush of what he thought would be Doojoon’s lips on his cheek, his mind going blank for that fleeting second before a slow dawning came upon him.
“You seem distracted today.” Kikwang said later that day after they got back from dance practice.
“Was I?”
Kikwang nodded. “Something wrong? Are you unwell?”
Dongwoon hesitates. He was unsure if he should confide in his friend openly in the dorm but it seems like a good time since Doojoon and Yoseob had been shipped off to record some variety show and the other two were sent to get groceries. “Doojoon hyung kissed me this morning.”
“Really? Wow, you guys are fast, I was just~”
“Not like that Kiki” He cuts him off “It was on the cheek when he thought I was asleep.”
“Oh,” Kikwang replied and asked carefully watching him close. “How do you feel?” he shrugged. He had been contemplating that question since it happened. “You don’t know? Let me help. Do you feel appalled?”
“It’s only on the cheek what’s there to be disgusted about?”
“A guy doesn’t kiss another guy not even on the cheek… well maybe playfully but definitely not secretly so tell me how you feel.” Kikwang insisted.
“I don’t know hyung. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“If it wasn’t a big deal then you wouldn’t be thinking about it the whole day.” Kikwang pointed out.
“I don’t know hyung, I’m confused.” Yes, confused as to why he didn’t react, why he didn’t feel weird out by the fact that Doojoon might have feelings for him and he himself was uncertain of how he actually felt for the leader. “How do you know you like Hyunseung hyung?”
“Hmm… for me I think it was by realizing that I watched him way too much for it to be normal and I feel strangely happy when he’s around… I don’t know, it’s hard to describe. I just knew.” Kikwang leans back into the sofa and props his legs on the coffee table.
“That’s not much help Kiki.”
“Sorry.” Kikwang pouts.
Dongwoon sighs. It doesn’t matter. He knew the singer was just trying to help. “It’s okay.”
“Well, how about this? Do you feel insanely shy or nervous at times when he’s near you or hangs onto you closer than it’s appropriate? Coz I think that’s another way of telling.”
He had to think about that for a bit because he had a lot of practice dealing with it that it’s no longer a problem. Not saying that it lessened though. “What if it’s just a sign that I’m uncomfortable with him?”
“Then chances are you don’t swing that way but are you really uncomfortable?”
“Honey!”
Kikwang jumps up and made a beeline for Hyunseung at the door to relieve the man off the bag of groceries. He sighs, deciding not to pick his brain anymore and followed his hyung to the kitchen.
“Wha-” he squinted in the dark “Hyung? What are you doing?”
“Move over woon. God, I’m so tired.”
Yoseob was already squeezing in with Kikwang. Dongwoon shifted to give the man some space preferring to get back to sleep and turned to face the wall. There was a bit of squabbling on Kikwang’s side until Doojoon told them to quiet down. They did fell silent but not without much fidgeting.
“Stop that you two.” Doojoon chided.
He heard someone got out of bed and climbed up the bunk, most probably Kikwang giving up his bed for Yoseob.
“Finally.” Doojoon said and draped his arm around him “nite babe.”
“I’m not a babe.” He mumbles nudging the man with his elbow and snuggled against his chest.
“Sure.” Doojoon mumbles as well and draws him closer.
Well this is comfy he thought and he wonders if he should even let Doojoon hold him.
Waking up in tangled limbs with Doojoon was the weirdest feeling ever, disjointed inner thoughts poking his sleepy bout as he stirs, disoriented and sluggish as Doojoon smiled lazily and presses his lips on his.
“Morning babe”
“I’m not a babe.” He murmurs against those slightly parched lips. Doojoon pulls back and eyed him. “What?”
“Nothing?” Doojoon grinned and gave him a quick peck before getting up.
Dongwoon watched the man realizing that he’ll probably let Doojoon get away with anything.
He wonders why this whole thing has to be complicated now that he understood what he felt for him. It’s just too complex and confusing for him to grasp or perhaps it’s just him over thinking because he doesn’t know if Doojoon wants more out of him since nothing had changed after that morning. Doojoon had been how he has always been. Nothing changed between them, period.
His heart aches whenever he remembers and that makes him mad. Why must he be such a kid? Getting affected with something like a kiss and it wasn’t even with tongue. Doojoon was probably playing around, teasing him like he always does.
Dongwoon attempts a smile and glances away when Doojoon winks at him from the mirror while cleaning off his make up with a wet wipe. He chats with Kikwang, forcing his attention elsewhere, forcing himself to be normal when Doojoon joins them. He’s totally fine. He had a lot of practice where Doojoon is concern and if Kikwang couldn’t pick up on his mood, then he could probably suggest to their manager to pick him for casting auditions the next time round.
He hung back a little as they headed out of the studio building to the van, cranking up his I pod and drown out his band mates chattering with angsty shit. They were talking about picking some stuff from a mart on their way home. He doesn’t see the need to participate in the discussion of what to do when the girls come to hang later. They can get excited all by themselves.
After weeks of putting up a front, he’s ready to collapse on his bed, bundle himself up and rot in the room. Definitely not the mood to entertain noisy girls besides, he sees them almost all the time in Cube building so they’ll just have to excuse him if he ends up being irate with them since he can’t chase them out. Junhyung will have his balls if he does that. The rapper had been going on and on about Hyuna ever since Change. Restraining himself from rolling his eyes, he could practically read Hyuna’s name on the rapper’s lips from the review mirror. No point getting into trouble just because he’s in emo mode.
He paid Doojoon no heed when he slid in beside him, annoying how he’s shivering inwardly when their sides touched. Why does he have to sit so near when there’s plenty of space beside Yoseob? He frowns when his earphone was plucked off.
“What do you wanna eat?”
Nothing. “Anything.” He shrugs and tried to take his earphone back. Doojoon slips it into his ear.
“Aisshh,” he flinches “you wanna go deaf? Slow it down.” Dongwoon tugs it off his ear and ignores him. The leader grabs his hand. “Now Dongwoon.”
“Fine.” He snaps. Doojoon looks taken aback and frowns at him. He jabs at the gadget doing as he was told and slid it back into his ear, beyond caring if the leader was trying to figure him out inside his head.
“Okay what’s wrong?” Doojoon pulled him aside once they reached the mart.
Dongwoon bit on his lip wanting so much to tell what’s bothering him but he just can’t bring himself to. If Doojoon doesn’t know then he might as well forget this whole thing.
“Nothing hyung. I’m just a little tired that’s all.” He gave a small smile and walks away.
He needs to get out of here before he explodes, sitting there watching Doojoon and Jiyoon impersonating Junhyung and Hyuna is making him sick, sick of seeing Doojoon all over the girl even if it’s meant to be a parody. It wasn’t remotely funny to him and it makes him feel overtly stupid and disgusted with himself he wants to hurl.
Dongwoon stood up. He doubts anyone will miss him in the ruckus and slips out of the dorm with someone else’s shoes. Blinking his burning eyes, he made his way to the elevator, not really thinking where he could go without his jacket and wallet.
He finds himself wandering at the rooftop poking around curiously at the water tanks and walking the perimeters. He approaches the edge and lean against the parapet looking out into the distance. The windy night cooled his head and he stood there a long while thinking
He doesn’t like to be upset. He doesn’t want to be upset with Doojoon at all. It’s not a good thing harboring this resentment when they’re living together. There’s really no point getting hurt over nothing and if he was sensible, he should just forget it, let it slide. No one said he should stop liking Doojoon. He just needs to stop expecting more. Everything would be just fine if he just let it be.
The jingle of his phone was loud startling him from his thoughts. He stares at Doojoon’s name flashing on its screen and sighs.
“Where are you?”
“At the rooftop.” He replied calmly.
“What are you doing there?”
“Just needed some air.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine hyung.”
“Come on down, it’s already late and the girls have already gone home.”
“I will.” He smiles softly. Doojoon fell silent.
“I’ll come and get you if you’re not here in five.”
“Okay.” He snaps his phone shut. He doesn’t feel like moving from his spot just yet, still needing to gather himself before he could face Doojoon.
“Hi”
He spun around at the familiar voice and smiles awkwardly. “Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just chilling.”
“It sure is chilly out here. Didn’t you have fun just now?”
“Sure, I especially enjoyed that Change parody you did with Jiyoon.” He couldn’t quite stop the sarcasm dripping from his voice and looks away from a grinning Doojoon. So much for resolution.
“You like it so much you left before it ends?” Doojoon teased, sauntering up to him.
“I hated it.” He gritted his teeth.
His heart sped up, blood rising to his face when Doojoon cages him and noses the line of his neck. They had never been this close and Doojoon was never like this.
“I’ll show you another parody then. Well, more like a song cover.”
“No thanks.” He doesn’t want any of Doojoon’s silly parodies. He just wants to stay like this.
“No you have to listen to this. It’s really awesome.” Doojoon backs away clearing his throat in an exaggerated fashion as Dongwoon eyes him. “Beautiful girls all over the world”
He snorts. “What’s this? A rerun? You’re just going to end up sounding like a broken record.”
“Shh… I’m not done yet.” Doojoon shushed him and starts again. “Beautiful girls all over the world I could be chasing but my time would be wasted. They got nothing on you baby ~ Nothing on you baby” his tone lowered a few notch, stepping forward to reach out for him and cups his face gently, eying him with so much affection it makes him want to swoon. “They might say hi and I might say hey but you shouldn't worry about what they say. Coz they got nothing on you ~ baby. Nothing on you baby…”
Doojoon’s voice trailed off, studying him silently with his fingers and thoughtful eyes.
“What’s awesome about that?” Dongwoon asked quietly. His eyes drawn to Doojoon’s lips which was perceptibly closer.
“Nothing.” The man whispers.
He closes the distance, dragging the tip of his tongue over Doojoon’s bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. He could feel him smiling against his lips as the man tugs him closer and reversed their position. Dongwoon clung onto him, leaning into the support of Doojoon’s arm that wraps him tight, quivering at the slide of Doojoon’s tongue in his mouth which coaxed him to open wider and he lets Doojoon take control.
It was far from the sweet innocent first kiss he expected. Doojoon kisses him like he had always wanted him. So hot and intense he couldn’t breathe. He pulls away, panting and needing to stop because he feels himself wanting and he’s not ready for that just yet.
“Hyung stop.” He pushes the man gently before he could trail further down his neck. Doojoon gazed at him questioningly and apologized.
“I’m sorry, we’ll take it slow.”
Dongwoon buries his face, smelling Doojoon’s fading cologne. “It’s okay.”
“And I’m sorry” Doojoon continues “I should have done something, clarify what I want us to be and be open about it.”
“It’s okay hyung. It doesn’t matter anymore.” He whispers. Truth be told, he would even be willing to be Doojoon’s fuck buddy if he wants it that way. But he knew Doojoon isn’t anything like that and he’s glad for that.
Kikwang raises his brows comically when he spotted their intertwined hands. Doojoon winks at him looking positively blissful while Dongwoon smiled shyly with blush staining his cheeks.
He laughs and let them through the door knowing as well that he would be sleeping in Doojoon’s bed again tonight.
Well at least someone gets their happy ending. He sighs wistfully and shuts the door.
End…
Are you saying you like me too?