(no subject)
Title: The Honourable Thing, 1/1
Author: Razzle
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Other Pairings: Scotty/Uhura past Spock/Uhura, Kirk/others)
Rating: PG
Summary: There are rules to the start and end of relationships. Well, they're more like guidelines, really.
A/N: Betad by the lovely claireyfairy1, and the first ST fanfic she's ever read!
Captain, commander, crewmate and confidante, James T Kirk was many things to many men. Each of these roles was as important as every other and, as such, was worthy of the same dedication. So, when a command decision needed to be made, he made it. When he needed to commune with his crew and share a dialogue, he welcomed the opportunity. And when one of his best friends needed him to hole up in a bar on shore leave and get drunk enough that they could spill their guts, he could be forced to tolerate that social expectation.
He tolerated his way through the best part of a bottle of something purple and viscous before he started to push his friend.
“C’mon, Scotty,” he prodded. “What crawled up your kilt and died?”
“Oh, I dinnae know, Capt’n,” Scotty replied, resting his forehead on the table with a long suffering groan. Bones smacked him on the back and got up, heading away from their table. “I need yer advice, I think,” Scotty went on, rolling his head to one side so he could acknowledge the captain without actually looking him in the eye.
“Well, come on, shoot!” Kirk implored, a little more loudly than strictly necessary. “That’s what I’m here for.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “Is it an engine problem?”
“No, Captain,” Scotty said, attempting to sound scandalised, as if nothing other than matter and anti matter… mattered. “It’s a woman problem,” he corrected.
“Right!” Kirk said. “Of course, that was going to be my second guess. Okay, it’s a woman. Well, you’ve come to the right place.”
“Aye,” Scotty said, cutting his eyes at the captain. “I’d heard you’d known one or two.” Kirk shrugged.
“Couple, yes,” he confirmed.
“Oh,” Scotty pulled his head up from the table. “So, is it true that Orion women…”
“Yes,” Jim replied.
“You dinnae know what I…” Scotty began.
“Doesn’t matter,” Kirk explained. “If you’ve heard it, it’s true. And if it isn’t, suggest it and they’ll do it.”
Scotty looked approving. The borderline awestruck expression on his face wasn’t unfamiliar to Jim Kirk.
“So, a woman,” Jim brought them back to the point.
“Aye! A woman,” Scotty agreed. “A fine lassie. And I think… well, I know,” he qualified, before his face fell, losing its confidence. “I think I know, see, I think she might be of a mind to accept an advance from me.”
“She would?” Jim asked, grinning widely. “Well, what are you doing sitting around asking for my help? You’ve got it all sewn up. Go out and get her, you big… engineering tiger!”
“Ah, yeah, but,” Scotty said, looking a tad nervous. “Trouble is, see, it isn’t long since she was spoken for. I don’t want to go shoving my way in there while she’s still smarting. Not to mention the fact that her ex is still about and if he didn’t like the look of me, he could probably rip my arms off and stuff me into a torpedo tube.”
“Okay.” Jim laughed, refilling their glasses. “So you want to know how long to leave it before you can make a move, right?”
“Aye, that’s exactly right,” Scotty said, sitting back happily in his chair. “How long does she need to be single before I can be courting her?”
“That,” Kirk said, “is a very good question with a very simple answer.” Kirk beckoned and they both leaned in, meeting in the middle of the table. “Ten percent,” Kirk told him. He sat back, content.
“Ten percent o’ what?” Scotty asked, staying where he was.
“However long she and her ex were dating. You need to wait a tenth of that time before you make a move.” Scotty still looked confused. Doctor McCoy took that moment to return to the table, bringing with him a Vulcan who was carrying a drink that contained something disturbingly similar to a decorative umbrella.
“Cocktails, Spock?” Kirk prompted as they sat down.
“Fruit juice,” McCoy supplied. “With suitable fruity decoration.”
Spock didn’t comment, but carefully removed the decoration and laid it on a napkin, pushing it away very deliberately.
“Anyway,” Kirk said, turning back to a slightly uncomfortable looking Scotty. “I’m just explaining to Mr Scott the rules of engagement as they apply to recently single ladies. Let’s say she’s seeing this guy for a month, right? Nobody needs more than a weekend to get over that. If they were dating for a year, give her a little over a month to heal. If they’re married and it’s been ten years, it’ll be a year before she’s really ready to move on to something serious. Now, I’m not suggesting that she should stay under lock and key, and she should definitely be out there having fun, if you get my meaning, but if you’re after something on the serious side, you need to wait it out. Anything before she’s ready will be written off as a rebound, she won’t be ready and you’ll never know if she’s with you for the right reasons.”
“But I think they were together for… a while,” Scotty said, looking shifty. “What if someone else gets in there while I’m being a gentleman?”
“Ah, well, that’s where you need to get devious,” Kirk said. Spock visibly relaxed, as if comforted by reaching the end of Kirk’s chivalry. “It’s perfectly okay to let her know that you’re interested. In general terms. Flirt, be sweet, offer your ear but not in a girly way!” he added. “You’ll end up being ‘the guy you can talk to about anything’ and then you’ll never see her naked. You can let her know in fairly explicit terms that you have intentions toward her, but you do not intend to address them or make a move until such time as it is fair and appropriate.”
They were all staring at the captain like they’d never seen him before; unashamedly surprised by the extraordinary perceptiveness and appreciation of emotional boundaries. In fact, they were all shocked enough that nobody said anything and Kirk was forced to go on.
“So, you see what happens? It’s a clear message and, pitifully, women love an honest man. She knows you like her, but she also knows,” he paused for effect, “that you respect her.”
“Ten percent of the relationship duration,” Spock said. “Is this an arbitrarily elected quantity?”
“I suppose,” Kirk said with a shrug. “It could equally be a little less or a little more and it might depend on the woman, or the way the relationship ended. But it’s a good rule of thumb. Long enough that you don’t look like a jerk, but not so long that she loses patience. And it helps for when you know the ex, and all, because you gotta keep honour with your mates.”
“Oh, aye, I’ll need that,” Scotty agreed.
“Logical,” Spock judged. “Flawlessly so.”
“Why, thank you, Mr Spock,” Kirk said, genuinely flattered. He lifted his glass and tilted it toward Spock’s. When Spock merely looked at it curiously, the captain reached over and picked up Spock’s hand, complete with glass, and clinked their rims together.
“The only trouble is,” Kirk continued, “after you’ve explained all that to her, you might have a bit of trouble keeping her tongue out of your throat, so be prepared for a couple of weeks of blueball. So, who’s the lucky woman?” he immediately went on, ignoring McCoy’s relieved laughter and Spock’s disapproving blink.
“Oh, it’s nobody you know,” Scotty said hurriedly. “I mean, it’s more hypothetical, really! Just making conversation. Does anyone want another drink?” He stumbled in his hurry to get to his feet, nearly taking out half of the adjacent table in an attempt to escape.
“Well, that was weird,” Kirk remarked. “I just pulled him off a block of ice six months ago, he doesn't know any other women.”
“Without wishing to speak indelicately, and understanding that I am with friends who are disinclined to gossip when a matter concerns another friend…”
“Dammit, Spock,” McCoy interrupted, good-naturedly. “What is it you know?”
“It is not a question of what I know, Doctor McCoy, it is a question of what I suspect. And I suspect that if Mr Scott has made mention of a recently unattached female, he may be referring to Lieutenant Uhura. His heart rate is invariably elevated in her presence and his speech and motor functions are frequently impaired. It is a logical conclusion.”
“Cute,” Kirk said, with Bones nodding approvingly.
“He’s a good man, she could do a lot worse,” Bones agreed. His eyes slid to Spock. “No offence meant, good sir.”
Spock looked mildly surprised.
“I had not perceived it as a slight…”
“Hey, wait, you broke up with Uhura?” Jim exclaimed.
“Jim!” McCoy exclaimed. “I make it my business to know close to nothing about the romantic entanglements on this ship and even I knew that.”
“Our relationship terminated five weeks ago. We found our expectations for the future to be incompatible,” Spock explained, without being asked. “In ways that would be almost impossible to negotiate a compromise. The logical decision was to end our romantic relationship while it remained largely amicable in hopes that we could avoid any deterioration in our working relationship and not detract from the pleasure of those experiences we had already shared.”
“Very logical, Mr Spock,” McCoy commended.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Spock replied, a touch of something akin to surprise in his words.
“About as passionate as a bucket of potato salad, but very logical,” McCoy added.
“So, wait a minute,” Jim was clearly still perturbed at being so far behind on his news. “How long were the two of you an item?”
That very much depends on how one was to define our relationship,” Spock said, clearly already calculating.
“Ball park,” Jim pressed. “From your first date to the very logical termination of relations.”
“Approximately,” Spock said, almost spitting the word in contempt for its lack of precision, “two years.”
Kirk actually winced. Spock looked away, his expression changing infinitesimally, barely enough that Kirk, a keen observer, noted it. He looked over his shoulder to where one of Spock’s harem of lab-rats was making a nuisance of himself at the other side of the bar, arguing with something twice his height and with three times as many arms.
“If you gentlemen will excuse me for a moment,” Spock said. Jim began to offer his assistance, but an incline of Spock’s head indicated there was no need. Jim was happy to entrust the little universe of the science department to Mr Spock’s capable hands. He had signed off on the requisition forms for all the assistants Spock had wanted, but that didn’t mean Jim could tell them apart yet. The Vulcan took his leave and made to diffuse the situation, while Jim turned back to Bones.
“Jees,” he said. “Poor Scotty has to wait, what, nearly three months to make his move? That’s harsh.”
“They’re your rules, Jim,” Bones pointed out, shrugging.
“And they’re good rules,” Jim agreed. “But they’re still harsh.”
“What’s it to you?” McCoy pressed. “Thinking of having a go yourself?”
“First of all, that would mean undercutting Scotty, and I’m not that big of a jerk. Secondly, Spock is one of my two best friends and I’m not that big of a jerk. And thirdly, Uhura would eat my fucking balls. And not in a fun way. So, no,” he sat back. “Truth be told, I know her too well to be able to sexualise her anymore. And you can only take so much of the dominatrix thing before it stops being provocative.”
“Okay,” Bones said, taking his point. “So what is your problem?”
“Who’s got a problem? There’s no problem,” Jim said, a little too quickly. McCoy’s face went from curious to suspicious to frightened and finally to fuming, all in less than a second.
“Oh, Jim, no, not the pointy-eared bastard.”
“Hey, why the hell not?” Jim answered defensively, when what he really should have said was ‘don’t be ridiculous, of course not’.
“Why not? Oh, well, do you want to write this down, I don’t want you to forget. Let’s see, there’s the fact that he’s a green blooded emotionless bastard who isn’t even the same species as you. There’s the fact that you’re both command crew and shacking up with him is breaking a dozen regulations. There’s the time he tried to kill you and I know you might be into some kinky shit but that’s going a bit far. What else? Oh, I’ll never be able to look at either of you without thinking about the two of you getting up to… whatever. And you’ll change, you know, because he won’t let you out with me, to get drunk and leer at ladies. Oh, no, you’ll be home at 21:00 every night for rancid tea and meditation!”
Kirk stared at him, his mouth open.
“Did a Vulcan touch you up as a child?” he asked incredulously. McCoy shot him a foul look and he slumped into his chair, sulkily. “I wasn’t planning to marry him,” he mumbled. “Just thought it might be fun.”
“Jim Kirk, if you were only looking for a fuck, you would have followed him right out of the door. If you’re planning on observing your dumb ten percent rule, you’re after something more.”
Jim sat up a little straighter.
“Fine, you got me,” he admitted. “I didn’t see it coming, myself, but if I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it properly.”
“Well, you can’t,” Bones concluded. “At all. I forbid it.”
“You forbid it?” Jim asked, his eyes wide and the hint of a smile pinching his lip. Bones nodded.
“As your friend and as your CMO, it is my duty to prevent you from making a horrible, horrible mistake that will jeopardise your career, cause damage to your already fragile mental health, let alone your physical state; do you have any idea how violent Vulcan sex can be?”
“No,” Kirk said, leaning forward in gleeful fascination. “Tell me.” Bones rolled his eyes. “Hey,” Kirk said after a moment. “I didn’t see you getting this protective over Uhura when they were dating.”
“No, but they were an item before I met either of them and besides, Lieutenant Uhura doesn’t go running headlong into things because they sound like fun this week.”
“Your faith in me is humbling,” Kirk deadpanned. “Anyway, I know what I’m doing. I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself.”
Bones looked unconvinced.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“Besides,” Jim went on, a little dejectedly. “I doubt he’d even be interested. I’m not exactly his type.”
McCoy opened his mouth to retort, before closing it grumpily as Jim shot him a look that said, very clearly, ‘quit trying to get the last word’. Whatever he was going to say was lost in a mumble into the doctor’s drink, but Jim still felt like he’d won a round.
#
It seemed to James Kirk, then, that in his attempt to pass on what was, really, very good advice, he had rather shot himself in the foot. Or, more accurately, in the balls. There was no reasonable way he could justify telling Scotty one thing and quite obviously practise another. He was bound by his own honour, not to make a play for his enigmatic friend before the quite appropriate and established timeline.
Fine, he considered, this would be an excellent time to exercise his more involved and specific seduction techniques. He hadn’t had much opportunity to stretch himself in recent times; he had never had much trouble getting laid and after the Narada attack, he had been beating the women off with a stick. Eventually, his enthusiasm had waned. As he was most certainly not growing bored with sex, he prescribed this to one or two causes.
a)Without the thrill of the pursuit, sex was a tad lacklustre.
b)He had become so focussed in a single direction that random sex no longer held the same appeal.
He probably should have found the second option frightening, but it was actually fairly calming. It was fitting that he, a perfectly illogical creature, should fall in love, fantastically illogically, with the most infuriatingly logical entity he had ever encountered. Given the complimentary effect of bringing together two contradictory elements, it was, in its own way, very logical indeed.
He had also found himself comfortable to exist in the perpetual position of friend; sexually frustrated by his inability to exorcise his most basic drives, but so content with all the other satisfactions of having Spock as his friend that the platonic nature of their relationship barely mattered.
Until, of course, he had discovered that Spock was newly single. While ignorant of the fact, he thought he could have waited forever, but now faced with the reality, he was twitching with anticipation.
He had all sorts of plans to seduce Spock, mostly based on appealing to his intellectual side and attempting to blind him with science. Unfortunately, every time he was faced with the reality of Spock in front of him, he tended to turn into a hormone-ridden, awkward teenager. The last time he had tried to strike up a conversation about the ship’s progress in hydroponics, he had only managed to contribute to the first five minutes of the exchange and spent the rest of the time ogling the Vulcan’s backside.
There was nothing else for it, he was going to have to confront his friend.
Of course, it was just typical that Spock would beat him to it. Jim was taking what Bones would describe as a ‘constitutional’ around the ship, enjoying the doctor’s company, when Spock chose his moment to approach.
“Captain Kirk,” Spock began, his hands neatly folded behind his back as he drew level with them. “I had a number of questions regarding a theory you recently posited. I hoped you might be able to impart certain clarifications.”
“Why certainly, Mr Spock,” Jim agreed, happy, as always, to spend more time with the object of his unexpected affections. “How can I help?”
Spock’s eyes flicked across to Bones, then back to the captain.
“It is a somewhat delicate matter,” he said levelly.
“Tact!” Bones declared. “Another thing Vulcans don’t do well.” He folded his hands behind his back in a mirror of Spock’s own stance. “It is time for good doctors to be in their beds,” he concluded, nodding graciously at both of them. Spock’s answering nod was respectful and indicative of how their relationship had improved massively in the last few months. While they still very much enjoyed baiting one another, it was now almost exclusively delivered in good nature. Not that either of them would admit as much. Kirk indicated the now vacant corridor and they continued to walk.
“Captain, if you would,” Spock began, “I have been ruminating on your analysis of human courtship.” Kirk’s eyes widened and Spock paused, inclining his head. “Is this a subject you are comfortable discussing?”
“Spock,” Jim said firmly, stopping in his tracks and forcing the Vulcan to turn and look at him. “For future reference, as your captain and your friend, there is no subject you should feel uncomfortable broaching with me.”
“Thank you, Jim,” Spock replied with gentle honesty. After a moment’s pause, he went on. “As regards the theories you posited, I wondered if it was applicable for those within the terminated relationship.”
“You mean you?” Kirk suggested.
“Or Lieutenant Uhura, yes,” Spock agreed. “If one of us were interested in pursuing a relationship elsewhere, is it right that we should also follow this rule?”
“Well, it’s not a rule, Spock,” he said with a grin. “Nobody has to abide by it. But, generally,” he added, before Spock could dismiss his plan altogether, “I would say, yes. If one is interested in pursuing serious relationships, it is a good idea to take sufficient time to process a previous relationship and analyse how one operates independently before entering into a new arrangement. But, really, every person is different, the number is only approximate.”
Spock nodded.
“Interesting,” he concluded.
“Why d’you ask?” Kirk asked before he could stop himself. “You got your eye on someone?”
Spock didn’t pretend that he didn’t understand the colloquialism.
“I have identified a potential new partner, yes,” he confirmed. “Despite the fact that I was not actively looking.” The bare honesty shocked Kirk into silence. “However,” Spock went on. “I believe I will observe this period of reflection out of respect for all concerned. This will also give me time to ascertain his feelings on the matter.”
James Kirk was nothing if not observant. The disappointment he had felt when Spock had mentioned another was at least partly assuaged by the identification of that person as a man. His ego suggested the possibility that, if Spock were so illogical as to have feelings and admit them and for them to be directed toward a man, it wasn’t out of the realms of possibility that Jim Kirk could be in there.
They came to a halt and Kirk looked around. Somehow they had ended up outside his quarters.
“Oh,” he said in quiet surprise. He turned to Spock and found him startlingly close.
“Is it time for good captains to be in bed, also?” Spock asked, the low timbre sending a shudder down Kirk’s spine.
“Doctor McCoy assures me that you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with Lieutenant Uhura,” Spock went on. “I was gratified to learn this.”
“I didn’t know Vulcans gossiped,” Jim said with a slightly awkward smile. “Why were you gratified?”
“She is a fine woman,” Spock was quick to point out. “But I believe she would make a most inappropriate choice for you,” Spock said, almost dispassionately. “No doubt you would find your physical relations adequately satisfying, but Nyota possesses a somewhat tempestuous nature and may have found it difficult to maintain a distinction between personal and professional interactions. Such a power struggle may be romantically stimulating but has no place on the bridge.”
“Logical,” Kirk said approvingly. “Although I think it might be difficult for most people to maintain that distance.” He very deliberately lowered his head to turn wide, innocent eyes on his first. “Can you think of anyone who would be content to serve under me?”
“Indeed,” Spock replied, his own eyes narrowing in response. “I can think of many who would be content, if not positively eager to submit to your command.”
They stared at one another for a while and it felt to Kirk as if a challenge had been laid down. Although he was screwed if he knew which of them was the challenger and how the other went about accepting it. His breaths were shallow, rocking his shoulders a little. Spock's eyes were almost black.
“I’m going to bed,” Kirk said at last.
Spock’s tongue darted out to sweep across his lips, so briefly it would have been missed by anyone more than a foot away. He tilted his head.
“Sleep well, Captain,” he said quietly, and if that wasn’t almost a purr, Captain Kirk didn’t know what else qualified.
#
“Understood, Admiral. We will be at the Starbase in thirty-six hours.”
The Admiral returned the acknowledgement and, with a nod from Kirk, Uhura cut the transmission and the captain turned back to the PADD he had been reading before the update had come through. The stars shifted before them as their helmsman engaged their new course. Other than that, everything on the bridge was quiet.
Save for a Vulcan with itchy fingers.
It didn’t take long for Spock’s fidgeting to draw the captain’s attention. Kirk turned to the disturbance and spent several seconds torn between delight and concern observing the disjointed, distracted movements of his first officer.
Finally, he opened his mouth to inquire after the Vulcan's health, but was interrupted by Spock turning toward him.
“Captain,” he said stiffly, his hands clamped behind his back. “If I might have a word?”
“Of course, Commander,” Kirk replied. “Sulu, mind the shop for five?”
“Yes, Captain,” Sulu replied, the minute straightening of his posture a familiar tattoo of the pride he felt every time Kirk entrusted The Enterprise to his command. Kirk smiled to himself and guided Spock out of the room. They stopped in the corridor outside, a few feet from the door.
“If we ever upgrade The Enterprise, I want an office off the bridge,” he said casually. “Make a note of that.”
Spock raised an eyebrow.
“The idea has merit,” he considered. “Some conversations would be better conducted in convenient privacy.”
“Quite,” Kirk agreed. “What can I do for you?”
Spock seemed to steel himself.
“I had meant to keep this conversation for a later date. However, in the light of certain recent developments, I find the topic has grown in relevance. During a conversation some days ago, Doctor McCoy mentioned that you had been a conscious participant in only two potentially serious relationships within your adult life. I now realise one of these was a reference to your slightly concerning romantic attachment to the spacecraft in which we currently reside. However, the other individual to whom he referred was a Doctor Janice Lester, in whom you had showed considerable interest while at the Academy.”
Jim was aware of how uncomfortable his body language became.
“You’ll forgive me if I fail to see your point,” he said coldly.
“Dr Janice Lester is currently stationed on Starbase 122, our current destination,” Spock supplied. “It is likely that you will encounter one another there.”
“We parted on pleasant enough terms, Spock, why should that concern you?”
Spock linked his hands behind his back and shifted his feet in a very personal tell of awkwardness.
“In the past I have calculated the likeliness of you entering a relationship with any individual at less than 17% due to our isolated circumstances and your wish to avoid compromising your professional integrity. However, now we are scheduled to spend a full ten days on a starbase with numerous individuals, one of whom shares an intimate past with you, I find the likelihood increases considerably, especially taking into account your increase in maturity since accepting command of The Enterprise.”
Kirk’s eyes widened. He didn’t know if there was room to feel flattered amongst his confused anticipation.
“The odds of you entering into a romantic arrangement have increased to almost fifty percent,” Spock went on. “And these odds are unacceptable for me to remain silent on the matter. Even if your encounter were to be of a purely transitional or physical nature, I would not be content while I knew I had refrained from comment. I wish, therefore, to inform you that I have been conscious of my own feelings for some time, and have found them both unprofessional and difficult to control. It had been my desire to respect the due period of adjustment as suggested by yourself during shore leave. However, I find that circumstances have forced my hand and I would like you to consider, before accepting any overture of courtship from any other individual, that I have made an offer that precedes them.”
Kirk blinked.
“You’re saying... that you saw me first?” he surmised slowly.
“Indeed. And although that cannot and should not be the determining factor, I would have you consider me as a potential partner against any other possibilities that may arise.” He stepped closer, crowding Jim just a little. “When it is appropriate, if I may be permitted, I can submit a lengthy explanation of my emotions, along with considerable details of the advantages I could bring to you as a long-term partner. I can detail for you my expectations of providing emotional and intellectual stimulation, as well as a detailed analysis of our probable sexual compatibility and of my evidenced skills in that area of expertise. I am already well aware of your own desirability and would require nothing more from you than your attention and the promise that you will not dismiss my advances without due consideration.”
If Kirk’s eyes got any wider, they would have fallen out of his head. Spock seemed to be done, so Jim scrambled to find his tongue.
“I will... certainly bear that in mind,” he said, although someone who had no fear for their lives might describe it as a whimper. “And I look forward to hearing a more detailed proposal.”
“Excellent, Captain,” Spock said, taking a step back. “That would be most satisfactory.”
Kirk cleared his throat and straightened his clothes redundantly.
“We should get back to the bridge,” he said, attempting to regain the composure that he wouldn't admit to having lost. Spock nodded and they made their way back through the two sets of doors.
“Thank you for your time, Captain,” Spock said, not turning to look at him as he retook his station.
“Don’t mention it,” Kirk murmured, wondering how well a blush went with command gold.
#
This was officially agony. Kirk was used to spending a lot of time thinking about Spock, but since he had made his inescapable, unquestionably genuine overture, it was the only thing on his mind.
They had arrived at the starbase on schedule and spent the next few days in boring yet essential debriefings. When they departed, they would be taking supplies to a colony near Alpha Proxima, but since there was no rush to leave The Enterprise was being treated to various tweaks and minor upgrades. Kirk didn’t miss a trick and slyly encouraged several of the engineering team to measure up and consider the alterations needed to provide him with his off-bridge private room.
One of the things that struck him, however, was the absence of Scotty in all of this. Usually, he wouldn’t be far from his precious ship for a moment while anybody was touching her. And yet, he was conspicuous by his absence.
If he didn’t know better, he would have thought Scotty was in hiding.
Evidently not from him, however, as on their third day, he was overseeing the addition of an experimental food replicator (in the hope that it would one day replace their current distributors and they could all eat fewer brightly coloured squares) when he found himself assaulted by a tired-looking engineer.
“Captain, I need your help,” Scotty said, gripping his shirt sleeve in an iron fist. “Ye have to help me!”
“Whoa, Scotty, whoa,” Kirk interjected. “Slow down, what’s wrong?” He hauled Scotty to the side, away from potentially nosy engineers.
“It’s the lassie, Sir,” Scotty said.
“Uhura? What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine! She’s better than fine, she’s lovely! She’s a beauty, all right, and she’s so bright. Did ye know how much she knows about electronics? She’s been rewiring that wee earpiece of hers on her own; it’s half as good again as when she got it in the first place...”
“Scotty, okay, she’s great, I get it. Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because I told her! I was scared she’d go off with Sulu or someone else with half a brain, so I told her I was thinking of courting her, if she’d have me. And like you said, I told her I wasn’t going to rush her, that I respected her too much.”
Kirk winced.
“Oh, right, and now she’s...”
“Insatiable!” Scotty agreed. “I cannae get rid of her. She keeps touching me and making eyes and asking when we can go out and what we’ll do when we go and telling me how noble I am for not rushing her. All the time she’s reassuring me that she’s no’ on the rebound. Captain, I cannae take much more of this!”
“Oh, Scotty, I know, man,” Kirk sympathised, securing Scotty with a supportive grip around the back of his neck. “That’s the trouble with being a gentleman, you see?”
“I know, I know,” Scotty said, sagging slightly. “What do I do, though?”
“I’ll tell you what you do,” Jim said, waving a finger in Scotty’s face. “She’s a hell of a woman and if things go right, you’ll spend the rest of your life in a furiously erotic play for power. Now, if you give in to her now, you’ll set a precedent to be her doormat for the rest of time. You stand by your guns, man, and when you’re ready, you give her what she wants and you’ll be on an even keel.”
Scotty straightened his shoulders.
“Aye, Captain, I can see ye point. I’ll stick to my guns.”
“Good man,” Kirk said approvingly, smacking him companionably on the arm.
“I’m glad I know, though,” Scotty said as he was released. “That she told me she likes me too; I’m no’ making an effort for nuthin.”
“Yeah,” Jim said thoughtfully. “Good point.” He turned to look at the still-worried Scot beside him. “Although if it helps, I don’t think you need to worry about Sulu.”
#
If there was one thing Jim enjoyed, it was letting Spock beat the crap out of him and then tell him how close he came to winning that time. The truth was, as time went on he was learning more of Spock’s moves and he could get the upper hand a few times in the hour.
Even with their relationship taking this slightly unexpected (though far from unwelcome) turn, their regular sessions were not something Kirk was willing to sacrifice, no matter how difficult it was to be sweaty and wrestling with the object of all his recent desires.
He’d have to be pretty screwed up to get hot from getting his ass kicked, anyway. As it was, Spock had him in a causal headlock and he was only sporting a semi.
Kirk breathed hard and waited for Spock to release him. After a few moments, he shifted slightly, encouraging him to get on with it and let them get back to faux fighting.
“I observed you on the observation level earlier,” Spock said nonchalantly.
“Appropriately enough,” Kirk suggested. “Could you ease up a little?” The grip on his neck loosened slightly.
“My apologies, Captain. I could not help but overhear your conversation with Dr Lester.”
“Ah,” Kirk said, shifting his feet a little wider.
“She made an offer of dinner and you declined,” Spock went on. “Can I take this to mean that you are considering my offer?”
Jim shoved back, catching Spock off guard and managing to wrestle the Vulcan onto his back.
“I never had to consider any offer, Spock,” Kirk said in a moment of completely raw honesty. “You just beat me to it.”
Spock raised an eyebrow, hands resting lightly on Kirk’s knees where they were pressed into the mat either side of him.
“So, you are amicable to my suggestions?” Spock asked, just a touch of excitement seeping into his voice.
“Very,” Jim replied. “I’d go so far as to say it’s the only thing I want.”
“This is an unexpectedly pleasurable development,” Spock mused from his vulnerable position beneath a sweating human. “I had imagined that you might need some time to completely consider my offer and its relation to any others that might also have been put forward.”
“Well,” Kirk replied, leaning back a little. “I didn’t. And even if I were inundated with similar offers, which I haven’t been, I still wouldn’t have needed to think about it.” Spock turned them easily, pressing Captain Kirk to the mat where he made an attractive huff of exertion. The Vulcan’s manner could only be considered gleeful.
“This is most gratifying, Captain,” he said. “In which case, might I extend an invitation to dinner?”
“The traditional approach,” Kirk said approvingly, although how traditional an offer could be when delivered by an alien pinning the invitee to the floor was anybody’s guess. “I’d be delighted.”
Spock practically beamed in that stoic, difficult-to-define sort of way. Spock slid his fingers through Kirk’s and pushed, guiding their hands up over Jim’s head and bringing himself closer to the other man.
“Then, if you are amenable and our shared meal has been considered a positive experience, perhaps you will join me in my cabin where I will observe the human tradition of suggesting caffeinated beverages as a euphemism for sexual congress.”
Kirk moaned at a volume that surprised even himself and thanked his own foresight for locking the training room door (something he usually did so no crewmember would happen upon them and see him getting his ass handed to him by a subordinate officer).
“Oh, yes, congress,” he whispered. He looked up at Spock, acutely aware that the flush of exercise in his cheeks had only deepened with subsequent arousal. Spock had clearly noticed and was highly receptive.
“Unprecedented,” Spock observed, his gaze fluttering between Jim’s mouth and his eyes, then back again as he swiped his tongue over his own lips. His shoulders dipped and his head lowered until his lips were a breath away from Jim’s. Kirk almost, almost leaned up to meet him.
Instead, his treacherous voice whispered, “Wait.”
“Captain?” Spock replied, a tingling breath over damp lips.
“You have to stop,” Jim’s voice, in direct argument with every other part of him, implored.
“I do not wish to,” Spock said, very honestly. “And I do not believe it is your favoured course of action, either,” he added.
“Do I need to make that an order?” Kirk asked with faint conviction.
“It may be necessary,” Spock supplied, his lower lip moving with the word to touch so briefly over Kirk’s. The Vulcan breathed out heavily and dragged himself back up to put almost a foot of space between them.
“It’s not about what I want,” Kirk said, able to think now he had some senses that weren’t full of Spock. “I can't tell my crew and my friends one thing and then practise another.”
Spock raised an eyebrow and ground his hips down, so casually it could have been accidental but firmly enough to make Kirk moan in frustrated arousal.
“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry, Spock. I have to set a good example,” Kirk went on. “I just got through telling Scotty he had to be patient and I can’t...” losing his thread a little, he tilted his head, his lips parting with a soft sound. Spock’s shoulders dipped a few inches and he licked his lips. That was it for Kirk; he really didn't have any self control left and if Spock...
“You are quite right, of course,” Spock said, getting to his feet casually and leaving his captain sprawled on the mat. “I cannot undermine your authority on this matter.”
Jim’s eyelashes fluttered for a moment.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I’m right. That’s right.” He extended a hand to be helped up, only to turn in surprise as he heard the door sliding shut behind the Vulcan.
#
“Jim, may I speak with you privately?”
Jim’s eyebrow rose. Uhura hadn’t called him ‘Captain’, which meant this wasn’t a formal request, but the phrasing itself was sufficiently proper that he knew it had to be serious. And who was he to refuse a polite request?
“Certainly, lieutenant,” he replied, indicating a quiet corner of the corridor. As soon as they were confidently out of all earshot, she turned to him.
“I know about your rules,” she said. Her expression wasn’t accusatory or angry, but Jim couldn’t help but take in a breath in anticipation of self-defence.
“Yeah...” he began. “I know it’s not...”
“No, no,” she interrupted. “I actually think it’s very admirable.”
“Oh, well, thank you,” he replied, appropriately surprised.
“I'm not sure you didn't come up with it as an elaborate plan to seduce vulnerable women, of course,” she added, and Kirk relaxed visibly; he wasn't comfortable with her thinking too highly of him. “But I approve of the theory and I had a few questions regarding the specifics.”
Jim nodded slowly.
“Well, it's not particularly specific,” he said.
“I know,” she replied, her voice cracking a little. Jim stood back a short distance and really looked at her. Her stance was stiff, almost feral in anticipation. Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated. If he had any physical or romantic intentions toward her, he would have been dangerously encouraged.
As it was, he quickly recognised the symptoms of frustrations that were not intended for him.
“Look,” she said. “I just want to know how rigid the boundaries are. Do we have to count the entirety of the relationship or is there some way in which the time can be... reduced?”
Somewhere in the middle of her question, Kirk's eyes glazed over and the mental wheels began to turn.
“That is an excellent question, Lieutenant, and one I would have to consider if I were to give you an accurate answer,” he said slowly. “I would say... it is a matter of judgement, within the general rule as... described. Excuse me,” he said vaguely, leaving her in the corridor looking faintly unsatisfied.
Kirk rounded the corner and located the closest wall-mounted comm, hailing Spock.
“Mr Spock. I want to see you in my quarters in twenty minutes.”
#
Precisely twenty minutes later, Commander Spock requested entry to the Captain's personal quarters and was duly granted admittance. He raised an eyebrow to see his Captain's academic endeavours, a large notation screen set up in the study area covered in scribbles and crossed-out calculations.
“Ah! Spock, come in, come in,” Jim said. “Look,” he said, indicating the board. “I've been trying to work this out. Now, you said Uhura and you had been together for two years. Ten percent of that time is two months and twelve days. You broke up five weeks ago, which leaves us with one month and five days. Now, when was your first date?” Spock told him a very specific stardate. “Right then,” Kirk said, turning to the board. “That means you were only seeing one another for twenty months, which is twelve days less recovery time, so we're down to 23 days.”
Kirk considered the board, tapping his stylus against his lip.
“When did you first have sex?”
Spock was visibly taken aback.
“Captain, I hardly think that is a pertinent...”
“Spock!” Kirk interrupted. “This is important. I don't want details, believe me.”
“I cannot be completely precise,” Spock admitted, which must have been difficult for him. “But approximately three months after our initial date.”
“Great, so that's another nine days from the total.”
“In addition,” Spock said, stiffly but suddenly, “we had not had sexual contact for the last month of our official relationship. I believe it could be suggested that the 'spark' had been extinguished.”
“Awesome,” Kirk replied. “Well, I mean, not awesome for you at the time but...”
“Please do not concern yourself with politeness, Jim. I am less concerned with the termination of my previous assignation than with the instigation of the subsequent.”
Jim nodded in acceptance.
“Right. Well, that brings us down to 11 days.”
There was a pause, which grew until Spock realised that Jim was just out of things to say. A drop in the captain's shoulders convinced him and suddenly, he suspected that he, the emotionless Vulcan, might have something rather useful to add.
“Captain,” he said thoughtfully. “What is the significance of 'the talk'?”
“What talk?” Kirk asked, turning to him.
“At one point in our relationship, approximately two months after our first physical encounter, Nyota suggested that we have something called 'the talk', which culminated in the declaration that we were 'exclusive'. I admit to not having been entirely conscious of the significance at the time, but I was assured it was perfunctory and would not make any difference to our situation. I therefore did not endeavour to understand it in more detail.”
“Spock, that's great!” Kirk exclaimed. “'The Talk' is a declaration of the intention to be monogamous and to dedicate oneself to a single partner.”
“Interesting,” Spock said. “I had surmised as much. However, since monogamy is a natural assumption for Vulcans, this did not cause any change in my activity or my emotions.”
“No, but you weren't official before that. Which means it doesn't count as part of the relationship! We can knock off another six days!”
“I am glad to be of service, Jim,” Spock said. “Unfortunately, this still leaves us, by your calculations, with another five days to wait.”
Kirk deflated a little, then shot Spock a hopeful smile.
“Well, it's only five days,” he said with a shrug. “I don't know about you, but I've been waiting a lot longer than that.” He met Spock's eyes, swaying closer momentarily. “Five days,” he said again, clicking his tongue against his teeth. “I think I'll go up to the bridge.”
He tore himself away from Spock's attention, finally breathing out as he broke eye contact.
“Captain,” Spock said, a moment before Kirk reached the door's sensor. He walked away, studying Kirk's board carefully. “I can find no flaw in your mathematics or your logic,” and wasn't that the compliment of the decade? “However, I am curious as regards one point.” He indicated a number, reasonably early in Kirk's working-out. The board handily highlighted it for him. “This figure being five weeks since the termination of my relationship with Lieutenant Uhura. From where did you obtain this number?”
“From you,” Kirk explained, coming to stand a foot or so behind his friend. “You told me that when we first discussed you breaking up.”
“I suspected as much,” Spock said thoughtfully. “Five weeks was, indeed, the figure I gave you.” Kirk nodded, unable to see how this could bring any comfort to their frustrating situation. Until Spock turned to him and added, “one week ago.”
Then Kirk's eyes went very wide.
“My God, you're right,” he said slowly, searching for any weakness in this new realisation. It didn't undermine his theories in any way, as far as he could tell. “Do you know what this means?”
“I believe I can determine the nature of your conclusion, as I have reached a similar one myself,” Spock replied.
“We've wasted two days!” Jim exclaimed. “For two days we've been perfectly justified in doing... anything we wanted, and we've been keeping our distance!”
He was gravitating toward Spock in a faintly magnetic fashion and was a little gratified to see that Spock was mirroring the action.
“This is true, Captain. Jim,” Spock corrected himself. “Do you suppose it would be an interesting experiment to see how long we could abstain? A test of stamina could be an interesting empirical...”
Kirk rolled his eyes and peeled off his shirt, effectively putting a stop to any train of thought the Vulcan may have been attempting, be it a tease or not. He smiled as Spock raked his eyes over his oft-imagined frame and they both took a step toward one another.
“Or now?” Kirk suggested casually.
Spock's reaction was little more than a growl, before he wrapped his hand round the back of Kirk's neck and pulled him in for a long anticipated kiss.
#
Hours later, they lay in their own filth with four orgasms apiece, approaching a point that Jim considered made up for two foolishly wasted days. Every inch of his skin was raw with sensation and each time they moved, the slight changes in contact made him gasp with pleased surprise.
Spock, head pillowed on Kirk's arm, didn't take his eyes off his captain and when Kirk could break their gaze it was only for the split seconds it took to blink around the room, refocus, and return to the stare.
Two of Spock's fingers traced shapes on Jim's neck, lazy kisses that made Jim's breath hitch and lean into the contact.
“Spock I...”
“Scott to Captain Kirk.”
Kirk rolled his eyes and huffed. Spock took pity on him and reached over his head to flick on the wall panel communicator.
“Kirk here, what is it, Mr Scott?” Kirk asked, fighting not to sound as if he were halfway between fantastically fucked and unconscious.
“Captain, about the lassie,” Scott went on, whispering rather ineffectively. Kirk grinned. “I'm sorry, Captain, I just cannae take it any more. She's so persuasive, and she had all these calculations...” Spock raised an eyebrow at his bedfellow.
“Scotty,” Kirk interrupted. “There's nothing casual about what she wants from you and I know there's nothing casual about what you want from her. I think in this instance, we can wave the time that's left without detrimental effect.”
Scotty's relief was audible.
“Thank you, Captain,” he sighed. A female voice emerged from somewhere further back in the room. Scotty hurriedly added, “Great, that's fine, thanks very much, Scott out,” and cut the connection.
“You did not tell him that according to your calculations, the required time had expired,” Spock pointed out.
“No, well,” Jim said, arching his back and shuffling for a more comfortable position. “I couldn't exactly tell him why I'd be doing those calculations.”
“Of course,” Spock said. “On the other hand, you excused him the remaining time based on the explanation that neither he nor Nyota were approaching the relationship casually. Yet you have not afforded yourself the same criteria?”
“It's easy to look at other people and know they're serious,” Kirk explained. “But in the middle of it, ones own desire can get in the way of rational analysis.”
“I find your scientific approach to the methods of relationships to be most arousing,” Spock mused. “However, for future instances, you should take into consideration that Vulcans do not do anything casually. Especially when it comes to matters of emotion.”
“Duly noted,” Kirk replied. “Although I don't know when it will become relevant again, since I don't intend on letting you go.”
“Nor I,” Spock agreed. “But there will be other stages in our relationship that must not be rushed into, especially considering the permanency of some of the more intimate psychic encounters.”
Spock settled himself into the crook of Kirk's neck and shoulder, cuddling around him in a way that he would furiously deny if accused.
“Of course, there is no need to hurry such things,” he said contentedly.
“Right,” Kirk said, his eyes wide and staring as he contemplated the enticing possibilities Spock had only barely begun to outline. There certainly was plenty of time for all of that, and he was sure there were complex Vulcan rules about waiting times.
But rules were made to be broken.
The End.
Author: Razzle
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Other Pairings: Scotty/Uhura past Spock/Uhura, Kirk/others)
Rating: PG
Summary: There are rules to the start and end of relationships. Well, they're more like guidelines, really.
A/N: Betad by the lovely claireyfairy1, and the first ST fanfic she's ever read!
Captain, commander, crewmate and confidante, James T Kirk was many things to many men. Each of these roles was as important as every other and, as such, was worthy of the same dedication. So, when a command decision needed to be made, he made it. When he needed to commune with his crew and share a dialogue, he welcomed the opportunity. And when one of his best friends needed him to hole up in a bar on shore leave and get drunk enough that they could spill their guts, he could be forced to tolerate that social expectation.
He tolerated his way through the best part of a bottle of something purple and viscous before he started to push his friend.
“C’mon, Scotty,” he prodded. “What crawled up your kilt and died?”
“Oh, I dinnae know, Capt’n,” Scotty replied, resting his forehead on the table with a long suffering groan. Bones smacked him on the back and got up, heading away from their table. “I need yer advice, I think,” Scotty went on, rolling his head to one side so he could acknowledge the captain without actually looking him in the eye.
“Well, come on, shoot!” Kirk implored, a little more loudly than strictly necessary. “That’s what I’m here for.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “Is it an engine problem?”
“No, Captain,” Scotty said, attempting to sound scandalised, as if nothing other than matter and anti matter… mattered. “It’s a woman problem,” he corrected.
“Right!” Kirk said. “Of course, that was going to be my second guess. Okay, it’s a woman. Well, you’ve come to the right place.”
“Aye,” Scotty said, cutting his eyes at the captain. “I’d heard you’d known one or two.” Kirk shrugged.
“Couple, yes,” he confirmed.
“Oh,” Scotty pulled his head up from the table. “So, is it true that Orion women…”
“Yes,” Jim replied.
“You dinnae know what I…” Scotty began.
“Doesn’t matter,” Kirk explained. “If you’ve heard it, it’s true. And if it isn’t, suggest it and they’ll do it.”
Scotty looked approving. The borderline awestruck expression on his face wasn’t unfamiliar to Jim Kirk.
“So, a woman,” Jim brought them back to the point.
“Aye! A woman,” Scotty agreed. “A fine lassie. And I think… well, I know,” he qualified, before his face fell, losing its confidence. “I think I know, see, I think she might be of a mind to accept an advance from me.”
“She would?” Jim asked, grinning widely. “Well, what are you doing sitting around asking for my help? You’ve got it all sewn up. Go out and get her, you big… engineering tiger!”
“Ah, yeah, but,” Scotty said, looking a tad nervous. “Trouble is, see, it isn’t long since she was spoken for. I don’t want to go shoving my way in there while she’s still smarting. Not to mention the fact that her ex is still about and if he didn’t like the look of me, he could probably rip my arms off and stuff me into a torpedo tube.”
“Okay.” Jim laughed, refilling their glasses. “So you want to know how long to leave it before you can make a move, right?”
“Aye, that’s exactly right,” Scotty said, sitting back happily in his chair. “How long does she need to be single before I can be courting her?”
“That,” Kirk said, “is a very good question with a very simple answer.” Kirk beckoned and they both leaned in, meeting in the middle of the table. “Ten percent,” Kirk told him. He sat back, content.
“Ten percent o’ what?” Scotty asked, staying where he was.
“However long she and her ex were dating. You need to wait a tenth of that time before you make a move.” Scotty still looked confused. Doctor McCoy took that moment to return to the table, bringing with him a Vulcan who was carrying a drink that contained something disturbingly similar to a decorative umbrella.
“Cocktails, Spock?” Kirk prompted as they sat down.
“Fruit juice,” McCoy supplied. “With suitable fruity decoration.”
Spock didn’t comment, but carefully removed the decoration and laid it on a napkin, pushing it away very deliberately.
“Anyway,” Kirk said, turning back to a slightly uncomfortable looking Scotty. “I’m just explaining to Mr Scott the rules of engagement as they apply to recently single ladies. Let’s say she’s seeing this guy for a month, right? Nobody needs more than a weekend to get over that. If they were dating for a year, give her a little over a month to heal. If they’re married and it’s been ten years, it’ll be a year before she’s really ready to move on to something serious. Now, I’m not suggesting that she should stay under lock and key, and she should definitely be out there having fun, if you get my meaning, but if you’re after something on the serious side, you need to wait it out. Anything before she’s ready will be written off as a rebound, she won’t be ready and you’ll never know if she’s with you for the right reasons.”
“But I think they were together for… a while,” Scotty said, looking shifty. “What if someone else gets in there while I’m being a gentleman?”
“Ah, well, that’s where you need to get devious,” Kirk said. Spock visibly relaxed, as if comforted by reaching the end of Kirk’s chivalry. “It’s perfectly okay to let her know that you’re interested. In general terms. Flirt, be sweet, offer your ear but not in a girly way!” he added. “You’ll end up being ‘the guy you can talk to about anything’ and then you’ll never see her naked. You can let her know in fairly explicit terms that you have intentions toward her, but you do not intend to address them or make a move until such time as it is fair and appropriate.”
They were all staring at the captain like they’d never seen him before; unashamedly surprised by the extraordinary perceptiveness and appreciation of emotional boundaries. In fact, they were all shocked enough that nobody said anything and Kirk was forced to go on.
“So, you see what happens? It’s a clear message and, pitifully, women love an honest man. She knows you like her, but she also knows,” he paused for effect, “that you respect her.”
“Ten percent of the relationship duration,” Spock said. “Is this an arbitrarily elected quantity?”
“I suppose,” Kirk said with a shrug. “It could equally be a little less or a little more and it might depend on the woman, or the way the relationship ended. But it’s a good rule of thumb. Long enough that you don’t look like a jerk, but not so long that she loses patience. And it helps for when you know the ex, and all, because you gotta keep honour with your mates.”
“Oh, aye, I’ll need that,” Scotty agreed.
“Logical,” Spock judged. “Flawlessly so.”
“Why, thank you, Mr Spock,” Kirk said, genuinely flattered. He lifted his glass and tilted it toward Spock’s. When Spock merely looked at it curiously, the captain reached over and picked up Spock’s hand, complete with glass, and clinked their rims together.
“The only trouble is,” Kirk continued, “after you’ve explained all that to her, you might have a bit of trouble keeping her tongue out of your throat, so be prepared for a couple of weeks of blueball. So, who’s the lucky woman?” he immediately went on, ignoring McCoy’s relieved laughter and Spock’s disapproving blink.
“Oh, it’s nobody you know,” Scotty said hurriedly. “I mean, it’s more hypothetical, really! Just making conversation. Does anyone want another drink?” He stumbled in his hurry to get to his feet, nearly taking out half of the adjacent table in an attempt to escape.
“Well, that was weird,” Kirk remarked. “I just pulled him off a block of ice six months ago, he doesn't know any other women.”
“Without wishing to speak indelicately, and understanding that I am with friends who are disinclined to gossip when a matter concerns another friend…”
“Dammit, Spock,” McCoy interrupted, good-naturedly. “What is it you know?”
“It is not a question of what I know, Doctor McCoy, it is a question of what I suspect. And I suspect that if Mr Scott has made mention of a recently unattached female, he may be referring to Lieutenant Uhura. His heart rate is invariably elevated in her presence and his speech and motor functions are frequently impaired. It is a logical conclusion.”
“Cute,” Kirk said, with Bones nodding approvingly.
“He’s a good man, she could do a lot worse,” Bones agreed. His eyes slid to Spock. “No offence meant, good sir.”
Spock looked mildly surprised.
“I had not perceived it as a slight…”
“Hey, wait, you broke up with Uhura?” Jim exclaimed.
“Jim!” McCoy exclaimed. “I make it my business to know close to nothing about the romantic entanglements on this ship and even I knew that.”
“Our relationship terminated five weeks ago. We found our expectations for the future to be incompatible,” Spock explained, without being asked. “In ways that would be almost impossible to negotiate a compromise. The logical decision was to end our romantic relationship while it remained largely amicable in hopes that we could avoid any deterioration in our working relationship and not detract from the pleasure of those experiences we had already shared.”
“Very logical, Mr Spock,” McCoy commended.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Spock replied, a touch of something akin to surprise in his words.
“About as passionate as a bucket of potato salad, but very logical,” McCoy added.
“So, wait a minute,” Jim was clearly still perturbed at being so far behind on his news. “How long were the two of you an item?”
That very much depends on how one was to define our relationship,” Spock said, clearly already calculating.
“Ball park,” Jim pressed. “From your first date to the very logical termination of relations.”
“Approximately,” Spock said, almost spitting the word in contempt for its lack of precision, “two years.”
Kirk actually winced. Spock looked away, his expression changing infinitesimally, barely enough that Kirk, a keen observer, noted it. He looked over his shoulder to where one of Spock’s harem of lab-rats was making a nuisance of himself at the other side of the bar, arguing with something twice his height and with three times as many arms.
“If you gentlemen will excuse me for a moment,” Spock said. Jim began to offer his assistance, but an incline of Spock’s head indicated there was no need. Jim was happy to entrust the little universe of the science department to Mr Spock’s capable hands. He had signed off on the requisition forms for all the assistants Spock had wanted, but that didn’t mean Jim could tell them apart yet. The Vulcan took his leave and made to diffuse the situation, while Jim turned back to Bones.
“Jees,” he said. “Poor Scotty has to wait, what, nearly three months to make his move? That’s harsh.”
“They’re your rules, Jim,” Bones pointed out, shrugging.
“And they’re good rules,” Jim agreed. “But they’re still harsh.”
“What’s it to you?” McCoy pressed. “Thinking of having a go yourself?”
“First of all, that would mean undercutting Scotty, and I’m not that big of a jerk. Secondly, Spock is one of my two best friends and I’m not that big of a jerk. And thirdly, Uhura would eat my fucking balls. And not in a fun way. So, no,” he sat back. “Truth be told, I know her too well to be able to sexualise her anymore. And you can only take so much of the dominatrix thing before it stops being provocative.”
“Okay,” Bones said, taking his point. “So what is your problem?”
“Who’s got a problem? There’s no problem,” Jim said, a little too quickly. McCoy’s face went from curious to suspicious to frightened and finally to fuming, all in less than a second.
“Oh, Jim, no, not the pointy-eared bastard.”
“Hey, why the hell not?” Jim answered defensively, when what he really should have said was ‘don’t be ridiculous, of course not’.
“Why not? Oh, well, do you want to write this down, I don’t want you to forget. Let’s see, there’s the fact that he’s a green blooded emotionless bastard who isn’t even the same species as you. There’s the fact that you’re both command crew and shacking up with him is breaking a dozen regulations. There’s the time he tried to kill you and I know you might be into some kinky shit but that’s going a bit far. What else? Oh, I’ll never be able to look at either of you without thinking about the two of you getting up to… whatever. And you’ll change, you know, because he won’t let you out with me, to get drunk and leer at ladies. Oh, no, you’ll be home at 21:00 every night for rancid tea and meditation!”
Kirk stared at him, his mouth open.
“Did a Vulcan touch you up as a child?” he asked incredulously. McCoy shot him a foul look and he slumped into his chair, sulkily. “I wasn’t planning to marry him,” he mumbled. “Just thought it might be fun.”
“Jim Kirk, if you were only looking for a fuck, you would have followed him right out of the door. If you’re planning on observing your dumb ten percent rule, you’re after something more.”
Jim sat up a little straighter.
“Fine, you got me,” he admitted. “I didn’t see it coming, myself, but if I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it properly.”
“Well, you can’t,” Bones concluded. “At all. I forbid it.”
“You forbid it?” Jim asked, his eyes wide and the hint of a smile pinching his lip. Bones nodded.
“As your friend and as your CMO, it is my duty to prevent you from making a horrible, horrible mistake that will jeopardise your career, cause damage to your already fragile mental health, let alone your physical state; do you have any idea how violent Vulcan sex can be?”
“No,” Kirk said, leaning forward in gleeful fascination. “Tell me.” Bones rolled his eyes. “Hey,” Kirk said after a moment. “I didn’t see you getting this protective over Uhura when they were dating.”
“No, but they were an item before I met either of them and besides, Lieutenant Uhura doesn’t go running headlong into things because they sound like fun this week.”
“Your faith in me is humbling,” Kirk deadpanned. “Anyway, I know what I’m doing. I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself.”
Bones looked unconvinced.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.”
“Besides,” Jim went on, a little dejectedly. “I doubt he’d even be interested. I’m not exactly his type.”
McCoy opened his mouth to retort, before closing it grumpily as Jim shot him a look that said, very clearly, ‘quit trying to get the last word’. Whatever he was going to say was lost in a mumble into the doctor’s drink, but Jim still felt like he’d won a round.
#
It seemed to James Kirk, then, that in his attempt to pass on what was, really, very good advice, he had rather shot himself in the foot. Or, more accurately, in the balls. There was no reasonable way he could justify telling Scotty one thing and quite obviously practise another. He was bound by his own honour, not to make a play for his enigmatic friend before the quite appropriate and established timeline.
Fine, he considered, this would be an excellent time to exercise his more involved and specific seduction techniques. He hadn’t had much opportunity to stretch himself in recent times; he had never had much trouble getting laid and after the Narada attack, he had been beating the women off with a stick. Eventually, his enthusiasm had waned. As he was most certainly not growing bored with sex, he prescribed this to one or two causes.
a)Without the thrill of the pursuit, sex was a tad lacklustre.
b)He had become so focussed in a single direction that random sex no longer held the same appeal.
He probably should have found the second option frightening, but it was actually fairly calming. It was fitting that he, a perfectly illogical creature, should fall in love, fantastically illogically, with the most infuriatingly logical entity he had ever encountered. Given the complimentary effect of bringing together two contradictory elements, it was, in its own way, very logical indeed.
He had also found himself comfortable to exist in the perpetual position of friend; sexually frustrated by his inability to exorcise his most basic drives, but so content with all the other satisfactions of having Spock as his friend that the platonic nature of their relationship barely mattered.
Until, of course, he had discovered that Spock was newly single. While ignorant of the fact, he thought he could have waited forever, but now faced with the reality, he was twitching with anticipation.
He had all sorts of plans to seduce Spock, mostly based on appealing to his intellectual side and attempting to blind him with science. Unfortunately, every time he was faced with the reality of Spock in front of him, he tended to turn into a hormone-ridden, awkward teenager. The last time he had tried to strike up a conversation about the ship’s progress in hydroponics, he had only managed to contribute to the first five minutes of the exchange and spent the rest of the time ogling the Vulcan’s backside.
There was nothing else for it, he was going to have to confront his friend.
Of course, it was just typical that Spock would beat him to it. Jim was taking what Bones would describe as a ‘constitutional’ around the ship, enjoying the doctor’s company, when Spock chose his moment to approach.
“Captain Kirk,” Spock began, his hands neatly folded behind his back as he drew level with them. “I had a number of questions regarding a theory you recently posited. I hoped you might be able to impart certain clarifications.”
“Why certainly, Mr Spock,” Jim agreed, happy, as always, to spend more time with the object of his unexpected affections. “How can I help?”
Spock’s eyes flicked across to Bones, then back to the captain.
“It is a somewhat delicate matter,” he said levelly.
“Tact!” Bones declared. “Another thing Vulcans don’t do well.” He folded his hands behind his back in a mirror of Spock’s own stance. “It is time for good doctors to be in their beds,” he concluded, nodding graciously at both of them. Spock’s answering nod was respectful and indicative of how their relationship had improved massively in the last few months. While they still very much enjoyed baiting one another, it was now almost exclusively delivered in good nature. Not that either of them would admit as much. Kirk indicated the now vacant corridor and they continued to walk.
“Captain, if you would,” Spock began, “I have been ruminating on your analysis of human courtship.” Kirk’s eyes widened and Spock paused, inclining his head. “Is this a subject you are comfortable discussing?”
“Spock,” Jim said firmly, stopping in his tracks and forcing the Vulcan to turn and look at him. “For future reference, as your captain and your friend, there is no subject you should feel uncomfortable broaching with me.”
“Thank you, Jim,” Spock replied with gentle honesty. After a moment’s pause, he went on. “As regards the theories you posited, I wondered if it was applicable for those within the terminated relationship.”
“You mean you?” Kirk suggested.
“Or Lieutenant Uhura, yes,” Spock agreed. “If one of us were interested in pursuing a relationship elsewhere, is it right that we should also follow this rule?”
“Well, it’s not a rule, Spock,” he said with a grin. “Nobody has to abide by it. But, generally,” he added, before Spock could dismiss his plan altogether, “I would say, yes. If one is interested in pursuing serious relationships, it is a good idea to take sufficient time to process a previous relationship and analyse how one operates independently before entering into a new arrangement. But, really, every person is different, the number is only approximate.”
Spock nodded.
“Interesting,” he concluded.
“Why d’you ask?” Kirk asked before he could stop himself. “You got your eye on someone?”
Spock didn’t pretend that he didn’t understand the colloquialism.
“I have identified a potential new partner, yes,” he confirmed. “Despite the fact that I was not actively looking.” The bare honesty shocked Kirk into silence. “However,” Spock went on. “I believe I will observe this period of reflection out of respect for all concerned. This will also give me time to ascertain his feelings on the matter.”
James Kirk was nothing if not observant. The disappointment he had felt when Spock had mentioned another was at least partly assuaged by the identification of that person as a man. His ego suggested the possibility that, if Spock were so illogical as to have feelings and admit them and for them to be directed toward a man, it wasn’t out of the realms of possibility that Jim Kirk could be in there.
They came to a halt and Kirk looked around. Somehow they had ended up outside his quarters.
“Oh,” he said in quiet surprise. He turned to Spock and found him startlingly close.
“Is it time for good captains to be in bed, also?” Spock asked, the low timbre sending a shudder down Kirk’s spine.
“Doctor McCoy assures me that you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with Lieutenant Uhura,” Spock went on. “I was gratified to learn this.”
“I didn’t know Vulcans gossiped,” Jim said with a slightly awkward smile. “Why were you gratified?”
“She is a fine woman,” Spock was quick to point out. “But I believe she would make a most inappropriate choice for you,” Spock said, almost dispassionately. “No doubt you would find your physical relations adequately satisfying, but Nyota possesses a somewhat tempestuous nature and may have found it difficult to maintain a distinction between personal and professional interactions. Such a power struggle may be romantically stimulating but has no place on the bridge.”
“Logical,” Kirk said approvingly. “Although I think it might be difficult for most people to maintain that distance.” He very deliberately lowered his head to turn wide, innocent eyes on his first. “Can you think of anyone who would be content to serve under me?”
“Indeed,” Spock replied, his own eyes narrowing in response. “I can think of many who would be content, if not positively eager to submit to your command.”
They stared at one another for a while and it felt to Kirk as if a challenge had been laid down. Although he was screwed if he knew which of them was the challenger and how the other went about accepting it. His breaths were shallow, rocking his shoulders a little. Spock's eyes were almost black.
“I’m going to bed,” Kirk said at last.
Spock’s tongue darted out to sweep across his lips, so briefly it would have been missed by anyone more than a foot away. He tilted his head.
“Sleep well, Captain,” he said quietly, and if that wasn’t almost a purr, Captain Kirk didn’t know what else qualified.
#
“Understood, Admiral. We will be at the Starbase in thirty-six hours.”
The Admiral returned the acknowledgement and, with a nod from Kirk, Uhura cut the transmission and the captain turned back to the PADD he had been reading before the update had come through. The stars shifted before them as their helmsman engaged their new course. Other than that, everything on the bridge was quiet.
Save for a Vulcan with itchy fingers.
It didn’t take long for Spock’s fidgeting to draw the captain’s attention. Kirk turned to the disturbance and spent several seconds torn between delight and concern observing the disjointed, distracted movements of his first officer.
Finally, he opened his mouth to inquire after the Vulcan's health, but was interrupted by Spock turning toward him.
“Captain,” he said stiffly, his hands clamped behind his back. “If I might have a word?”
“Of course, Commander,” Kirk replied. “Sulu, mind the shop for five?”
“Yes, Captain,” Sulu replied, the minute straightening of his posture a familiar tattoo of the pride he felt every time Kirk entrusted The Enterprise to his command. Kirk smiled to himself and guided Spock out of the room. They stopped in the corridor outside, a few feet from the door.
“If we ever upgrade The Enterprise, I want an office off the bridge,” he said casually. “Make a note of that.”
Spock raised an eyebrow.
“The idea has merit,” he considered. “Some conversations would be better conducted in convenient privacy.”
“Quite,” Kirk agreed. “What can I do for you?”
Spock seemed to steel himself.
“I had meant to keep this conversation for a later date. However, in the light of certain recent developments, I find the topic has grown in relevance. During a conversation some days ago, Doctor McCoy mentioned that you had been a conscious participant in only two potentially serious relationships within your adult life. I now realise one of these was a reference to your slightly concerning romantic attachment to the spacecraft in which we currently reside. However, the other individual to whom he referred was a Doctor Janice Lester, in whom you had showed considerable interest while at the Academy.”
Jim was aware of how uncomfortable his body language became.
“You’ll forgive me if I fail to see your point,” he said coldly.
“Dr Janice Lester is currently stationed on Starbase 122, our current destination,” Spock supplied. “It is likely that you will encounter one another there.”
“We parted on pleasant enough terms, Spock, why should that concern you?”
Spock linked his hands behind his back and shifted his feet in a very personal tell of awkwardness.
“In the past I have calculated the likeliness of you entering a relationship with any individual at less than 17% due to our isolated circumstances and your wish to avoid compromising your professional integrity. However, now we are scheduled to spend a full ten days on a starbase with numerous individuals, one of whom shares an intimate past with you, I find the likelihood increases considerably, especially taking into account your increase in maturity since accepting command of The Enterprise.”
Kirk’s eyes widened. He didn’t know if there was room to feel flattered amongst his confused anticipation.
“The odds of you entering into a romantic arrangement have increased to almost fifty percent,” Spock went on. “And these odds are unacceptable for me to remain silent on the matter. Even if your encounter were to be of a purely transitional or physical nature, I would not be content while I knew I had refrained from comment. I wish, therefore, to inform you that I have been conscious of my own feelings for some time, and have found them both unprofessional and difficult to control. It had been my desire to respect the due period of adjustment as suggested by yourself during shore leave. However, I find that circumstances have forced my hand and I would like you to consider, before accepting any overture of courtship from any other individual, that I have made an offer that precedes them.”
Kirk blinked.
“You’re saying... that you saw me first?” he surmised slowly.
“Indeed. And although that cannot and should not be the determining factor, I would have you consider me as a potential partner against any other possibilities that may arise.” He stepped closer, crowding Jim just a little. “When it is appropriate, if I may be permitted, I can submit a lengthy explanation of my emotions, along with considerable details of the advantages I could bring to you as a long-term partner. I can detail for you my expectations of providing emotional and intellectual stimulation, as well as a detailed analysis of our probable sexual compatibility and of my evidenced skills in that area of expertise. I am already well aware of your own desirability and would require nothing more from you than your attention and the promise that you will not dismiss my advances without due consideration.”
If Kirk’s eyes got any wider, they would have fallen out of his head. Spock seemed to be done, so Jim scrambled to find his tongue.
“I will... certainly bear that in mind,” he said, although someone who had no fear for their lives might describe it as a whimper. “And I look forward to hearing a more detailed proposal.”
“Excellent, Captain,” Spock said, taking a step back. “That would be most satisfactory.”
Kirk cleared his throat and straightened his clothes redundantly.
“We should get back to the bridge,” he said, attempting to regain the composure that he wouldn't admit to having lost. Spock nodded and they made their way back through the two sets of doors.
“Thank you for your time, Captain,” Spock said, not turning to look at him as he retook his station.
“Don’t mention it,” Kirk murmured, wondering how well a blush went with command gold.
#
This was officially agony. Kirk was used to spending a lot of time thinking about Spock, but since he had made his inescapable, unquestionably genuine overture, it was the only thing on his mind.
They had arrived at the starbase on schedule and spent the next few days in boring yet essential debriefings. When they departed, they would be taking supplies to a colony near Alpha Proxima, but since there was no rush to leave The Enterprise was being treated to various tweaks and minor upgrades. Kirk didn’t miss a trick and slyly encouraged several of the engineering team to measure up and consider the alterations needed to provide him with his off-bridge private room.
One of the things that struck him, however, was the absence of Scotty in all of this. Usually, he wouldn’t be far from his precious ship for a moment while anybody was touching her. And yet, he was conspicuous by his absence.
If he didn’t know better, he would have thought Scotty was in hiding.
Evidently not from him, however, as on their third day, he was overseeing the addition of an experimental food replicator (in the hope that it would one day replace their current distributors and they could all eat fewer brightly coloured squares) when he found himself assaulted by a tired-looking engineer.
“Captain, I need your help,” Scotty said, gripping his shirt sleeve in an iron fist. “Ye have to help me!”
“Whoa, Scotty, whoa,” Kirk interjected. “Slow down, what’s wrong?” He hauled Scotty to the side, away from potentially nosy engineers.
“It’s the lassie, Sir,” Scotty said.
“Uhura? What’s wrong with her? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine! She’s better than fine, she’s lovely! She’s a beauty, all right, and she’s so bright. Did ye know how much she knows about electronics? She’s been rewiring that wee earpiece of hers on her own; it’s half as good again as when she got it in the first place...”
“Scotty, okay, she’s great, I get it. Why is that a bad thing?”
“Because I told her! I was scared she’d go off with Sulu or someone else with half a brain, so I told her I was thinking of courting her, if she’d have me. And like you said, I told her I wasn’t going to rush her, that I respected her too much.”
Kirk winced.
“Oh, right, and now she’s...”
“Insatiable!” Scotty agreed. “I cannae get rid of her. She keeps touching me and making eyes and asking when we can go out and what we’ll do when we go and telling me how noble I am for not rushing her. All the time she’s reassuring me that she’s no’ on the rebound. Captain, I cannae take much more of this!”
“Oh, Scotty, I know, man,” Kirk sympathised, securing Scotty with a supportive grip around the back of his neck. “That’s the trouble with being a gentleman, you see?”
“I know, I know,” Scotty said, sagging slightly. “What do I do, though?”
“I’ll tell you what you do,” Jim said, waving a finger in Scotty’s face. “She’s a hell of a woman and if things go right, you’ll spend the rest of your life in a furiously erotic play for power. Now, if you give in to her now, you’ll set a precedent to be her doormat for the rest of time. You stand by your guns, man, and when you’re ready, you give her what she wants and you’ll be on an even keel.”
Scotty straightened his shoulders.
“Aye, Captain, I can see ye point. I’ll stick to my guns.”
“Good man,” Kirk said approvingly, smacking him companionably on the arm.
“I’m glad I know, though,” Scotty said as he was released. “That she told me she likes me too; I’m no’ making an effort for nuthin.”
“Yeah,” Jim said thoughtfully. “Good point.” He turned to look at the still-worried Scot beside him. “Although if it helps, I don’t think you need to worry about Sulu.”
#
If there was one thing Jim enjoyed, it was letting Spock beat the crap out of him and then tell him how close he came to winning that time. The truth was, as time went on he was learning more of Spock’s moves and he could get the upper hand a few times in the hour.
Even with their relationship taking this slightly unexpected (though far from unwelcome) turn, their regular sessions were not something Kirk was willing to sacrifice, no matter how difficult it was to be sweaty and wrestling with the object of all his recent desires.
He’d have to be pretty screwed up to get hot from getting his ass kicked, anyway. As it was, Spock had him in a causal headlock and he was only sporting a semi.
Kirk breathed hard and waited for Spock to release him. After a few moments, he shifted slightly, encouraging him to get on with it and let them get back to faux fighting.
“I observed you on the observation level earlier,” Spock said nonchalantly.
“Appropriately enough,” Kirk suggested. “Could you ease up a little?” The grip on his neck loosened slightly.
“My apologies, Captain. I could not help but overhear your conversation with Dr Lester.”
“Ah,” Kirk said, shifting his feet a little wider.
“She made an offer of dinner and you declined,” Spock went on. “Can I take this to mean that you are considering my offer?”
Jim shoved back, catching Spock off guard and managing to wrestle the Vulcan onto his back.
“I never had to consider any offer, Spock,” Kirk said in a moment of completely raw honesty. “You just beat me to it.”
Spock raised an eyebrow, hands resting lightly on Kirk’s knees where they were pressed into the mat either side of him.
“So, you are amicable to my suggestions?” Spock asked, just a touch of excitement seeping into his voice.
“Very,” Jim replied. “I’d go so far as to say it’s the only thing I want.”
“This is an unexpectedly pleasurable development,” Spock mused from his vulnerable position beneath a sweating human. “I had imagined that you might need some time to completely consider my offer and its relation to any others that might also have been put forward.”
“Well,” Kirk replied, leaning back a little. “I didn’t. And even if I were inundated with similar offers, which I haven’t been, I still wouldn’t have needed to think about it.” Spock turned them easily, pressing Captain Kirk to the mat where he made an attractive huff of exertion. The Vulcan’s manner could only be considered gleeful.
“This is most gratifying, Captain,” he said. “In which case, might I extend an invitation to dinner?”
“The traditional approach,” Kirk said approvingly, although how traditional an offer could be when delivered by an alien pinning the invitee to the floor was anybody’s guess. “I’d be delighted.”
Spock practically beamed in that stoic, difficult-to-define sort of way. Spock slid his fingers through Kirk’s and pushed, guiding their hands up over Jim’s head and bringing himself closer to the other man.
“Then, if you are amenable and our shared meal has been considered a positive experience, perhaps you will join me in my cabin where I will observe the human tradition of suggesting caffeinated beverages as a euphemism for sexual congress.”
Kirk moaned at a volume that surprised even himself and thanked his own foresight for locking the training room door (something he usually did so no crewmember would happen upon them and see him getting his ass handed to him by a subordinate officer).
“Oh, yes, congress,” he whispered. He looked up at Spock, acutely aware that the flush of exercise in his cheeks had only deepened with subsequent arousal. Spock had clearly noticed and was highly receptive.
“Unprecedented,” Spock observed, his gaze fluttering between Jim’s mouth and his eyes, then back again as he swiped his tongue over his own lips. His shoulders dipped and his head lowered until his lips were a breath away from Jim’s. Kirk almost, almost leaned up to meet him.
Instead, his treacherous voice whispered, “Wait.”
“Captain?” Spock replied, a tingling breath over damp lips.
“You have to stop,” Jim’s voice, in direct argument with every other part of him, implored.
“I do not wish to,” Spock said, very honestly. “And I do not believe it is your favoured course of action, either,” he added.
“Do I need to make that an order?” Kirk asked with faint conviction.
“It may be necessary,” Spock supplied, his lower lip moving with the word to touch so briefly over Kirk’s. The Vulcan breathed out heavily and dragged himself back up to put almost a foot of space between them.
“It’s not about what I want,” Kirk said, able to think now he had some senses that weren’t full of Spock. “I can't tell my crew and my friends one thing and then practise another.”
Spock raised an eyebrow and ground his hips down, so casually it could have been accidental but firmly enough to make Kirk moan in frustrated arousal.
“Oh, fuck! I’m sorry, Spock. I have to set a good example,” Kirk went on. “I just got through telling Scotty he had to be patient and I can’t...” losing his thread a little, he tilted his head, his lips parting with a soft sound. Spock’s shoulders dipped a few inches and he licked his lips. That was it for Kirk; he really didn't have any self control left and if Spock...
“You are quite right, of course,” Spock said, getting to his feet casually and leaving his captain sprawled on the mat. “I cannot undermine your authority on this matter.”
Jim’s eyelashes fluttered for a moment.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I’m right. That’s right.” He extended a hand to be helped up, only to turn in surprise as he heard the door sliding shut behind the Vulcan.
#
“Jim, may I speak with you privately?”
Jim’s eyebrow rose. Uhura hadn’t called him ‘Captain’, which meant this wasn’t a formal request, but the phrasing itself was sufficiently proper that he knew it had to be serious. And who was he to refuse a polite request?
“Certainly, lieutenant,” he replied, indicating a quiet corner of the corridor. As soon as they were confidently out of all earshot, she turned to him.
“I know about your rules,” she said. Her expression wasn’t accusatory or angry, but Jim couldn’t help but take in a breath in anticipation of self-defence.
“Yeah...” he began. “I know it’s not...”
“No, no,” she interrupted. “I actually think it’s very admirable.”
“Oh, well, thank you,” he replied, appropriately surprised.
“I'm not sure you didn't come up with it as an elaborate plan to seduce vulnerable women, of course,” she added, and Kirk relaxed visibly; he wasn't comfortable with her thinking too highly of him. “But I approve of the theory and I had a few questions regarding the specifics.”
Jim nodded slowly.
“Well, it's not particularly specific,” he said.
“I know,” she replied, her voice cracking a little. Jim stood back a short distance and really looked at her. Her stance was stiff, almost feral in anticipation. Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated. If he had any physical or romantic intentions toward her, he would have been dangerously encouraged.
As it was, he quickly recognised the symptoms of frustrations that were not intended for him.
“Look,” she said. “I just want to know how rigid the boundaries are. Do we have to count the entirety of the relationship or is there some way in which the time can be... reduced?”
Somewhere in the middle of her question, Kirk's eyes glazed over and the mental wheels began to turn.
“That is an excellent question, Lieutenant, and one I would have to consider if I were to give you an accurate answer,” he said slowly. “I would say... it is a matter of judgement, within the general rule as... described. Excuse me,” he said vaguely, leaving her in the corridor looking faintly unsatisfied.
Kirk rounded the corner and located the closest wall-mounted comm, hailing Spock.
“Mr Spock. I want to see you in my quarters in twenty minutes.”
#
Precisely twenty minutes later, Commander Spock requested entry to the Captain's personal quarters and was duly granted admittance. He raised an eyebrow to see his Captain's academic endeavours, a large notation screen set up in the study area covered in scribbles and crossed-out calculations.
“Ah! Spock, come in, come in,” Jim said. “Look,” he said, indicating the board. “I've been trying to work this out. Now, you said Uhura and you had been together for two years. Ten percent of that time is two months and twelve days. You broke up five weeks ago, which leaves us with one month and five days. Now, when was your first date?” Spock told him a very specific stardate. “Right then,” Kirk said, turning to the board. “That means you were only seeing one another for twenty months, which is twelve days less recovery time, so we're down to 23 days.”
Kirk considered the board, tapping his stylus against his lip.
“When did you first have sex?”
Spock was visibly taken aback.
“Captain, I hardly think that is a pertinent...”
“Spock!” Kirk interrupted. “This is important. I don't want details, believe me.”
“I cannot be completely precise,” Spock admitted, which must have been difficult for him. “But approximately three months after our initial date.”
“Great, so that's another nine days from the total.”
“In addition,” Spock said, stiffly but suddenly, “we had not had sexual contact for the last month of our official relationship. I believe it could be suggested that the 'spark' had been extinguished.”
“Awesome,” Kirk replied. “Well, I mean, not awesome for you at the time but...”
“Please do not concern yourself with politeness, Jim. I am less concerned with the termination of my previous assignation than with the instigation of the subsequent.”
Jim nodded in acceptance.
“Right. Well, that brings us down to 11 days.”
There was a pause, which grew until Spock realised that Jim was just out of things to say. A drop in the captain's shoulders convinced him and suddenly, he suspected that he, the emotionless Vulcan, might have something rather useful to add.
“Captain,” he said thoughtfully. “What is the significance of 'the talk'?”
“What talk?” Kirk asked, turning to him.
“At one point in our relationship, approximately two months after our first physical encounter, Nyota suggested that we have something called 'the talk', which culminated in the declaration that we were 'exclusive'. I admit to not having been entirely conscious of the significance at the time, but I was assured it was perfunctory and would not make any difference to our situation. I therefore did not endeavour to understand it in more detail.”
“Spock, that's great!” Kirk exclaimed. “'The Talk' is a declaration of the intention to be monogamous and to dedicate oneself to a single partner.”
“Interesting,” Spock said. “I had surmised as much. However, since monogamy is a natural assumption for Vulcans, this did not cause any change in my activity or my emotions.”
“No, but you weren't official before that. Which means it doesn't count as part of the relationship! We can knock off another six days!”
“I am glad to be of service, Jim,” Spock said. “Unfortunately, this still leaves us, by your calculations, with another five days to wait.”
Kirk deflated a little, then shot Spock a hopeful smile.
“Well, it's only five days,” he said with a shrug. “I don't know about you, but I've been waiting a lot longer than that.” He met Spock's eyes, swaying closer momentarily. “Five days,” he said again, clicking his tongue against his teeth. “I think I'll go up to the bridge.”
He tore himself away from Spock's attention, finally breathing out as he broke eye contact.
“Captain,” Spock said, a moment before Kirk reached the door's sensor. He walked away, studying Kirk's board carefully. “I can find no flaw in your mathematics or your logic,” and wasn't that the compliment of the decade? “However, I am curious as regards one point.” He indicated a number, reasonably early in Kirk's working-out. The board handily highlighted it for him. “This figure being five weeks since the termination of my relationship with Lieutenant Uhura. From where did you obtain this number?”
“From you,” Kirk explained, coming to stand a foot or so behind his friend. “You told me that when we first discussed you breaking up.”
“I suspected as much,” Spock said thoughtfully. “Five weeks was, indeed, the figure I gave you.” Kirk nodded, unable to see how this could bring any comfort to their frustrating situation. Until Spock turned to him and added, “one week ago.”
Then Kirk's eyes went very wide.
“My God, you're right,” he said slowly, searching for any weakness in this new realisation. It didn't undermine his theories in any way, as far as he could tell. “Do you know what this means?”
“I believe I can determine the nature of your conclusion, as I have reached a similar one myself,” Spock replied.
“We've wasted two days!” Jim exclaimed. “For two days we've been perfectly justified in doing... anything we wanted, and we've been keeping our distance!”
He was gravitating toward Spock in a faintly magnetic fashion and was a little gratified to see that Spock was mirroring the action.
“This is true, Captain. Jim,” Spock corrected himself. “Do you suppose it would be an interesting experiment to see how long we could abstain? A test of stamina could be an interesting empirical...”
Kirk rolled his eyes and peeled off his shirt, effectively putting a stop to any train of thought the Vulcan may have been attempting, be it a tease or not. He smiled as Spock raked his eyes over his oft-imagined frame and they both took a step toward one another.
“Or now?” Kirk suggested casually.
Spock's reaction was little more than a growl, before he wrapped his hand round the back of Kirk's neck and pulled him in for a long anticipated kiss.
#
Hours later, they lay in their own filth with four orgasms apiece, approaching a point that Jim considered made up for two foolishly wasted days. Every inch of his skin was raw with sensation and each time they moved, the slight changes in contact made him gasp with pleased surprise.
Spock, head pillowed on Kirk's arm, didn't take his eyes off his captain and when Kirk could break their gaze it was only for the split seconds it took to blink around the room, refocus, and return to the stare.
Two of Spock's fingers traced shapes on Jim's neck, lazy kisses that made Jim's breath hitch and lean into the contact.
“Spock I...”
“Scott to Captain Kirk.”
Kirk rolled his eyes and huffed. Spock took pity on him and reached over his head to flick on the wall panel communicator.
“Kirk here, what is it, Mr Scott?” Kirk asked, fighting not to sound as if he were halfway between fantastically fucked and unconscious.
“Captain, about the lassie,” Scott went on, whispering rather ineffectively. Kirk grinned. “I'm sorry, Captain, I just cannae take it any more. She's so persuasive, and she had all these calculations...” Spock raised an eyebrow at his bedfellow.
“Scotty,” Kirk interrupted. “There's nothing casual about what she wants from you and I know there's nothing casual about what you want from her. I think in this instance, we can wave the time that's left without detrimental effect.”
Scotty's relief was audible.
“Thank you, Captain,” he sighed. A female voice emerged from somewhere further back in the room. Scotty hurriedly added, “Great, that's fine, thanks very much, Scott out,” and cut the connection.
“You did not tell him that according to your calculations, the required time had expired,” Spock pointed out.
“No, well,” Jim said, arching his back and shuffling for a more comfortable position. “I couldn't exactly tell him why I'd be doing those calculations.”
“Of course,” Spock said. “On the other hand, you excused him the remaining time based on the explanation that neither he nor Nyota were approaching the relationship casually. Yet you have not afforded yourself the same criteria?”
“It's easy to look at other people and know they're serious,” Kirk explained. “But in the middle of it, ones own desire can get in the way of rational analysis.”
“I find your scientific approach to the methods of relationships to be most arousing,” Spock mused. “However, for future instances, you should take into consideration that Vulcans do not do anything casually. Especially when it comes to matters of emotion.”
“Duly noted,” Kirk replied. “Although I don't know when it will become relevant again, since I don't intend on letting you go.”
“Nor I,” Spock agreed. “But there will be other stages in our relationship that must not be rushed into, especially considering the permanency of some of the more intimate psychic encounters.”
Spock settled himself into the crook of Kirk's neck and shoulder, cuddling around him in a way that he would furiously deny if accused.
“Of course, there is no need to hurry such things,” he said contentedly.
“Right,” Kirk said, his eyes wide and staring as he contemplated the enticing possibilities Spock had only barely begun to outline. There certainly was plenty of time for all of that, and he was sure there were complex Vulcan rules about waiting times.
But rules were made to be broken.
The End.