8. Hate

[b_before_l]

(OOC: Obligatory Emo post that he 'forgets' to make private)

I hate these memories...I don't want them anymore.

I hate those candies...I wish I'd never eaten them.

I hate L...I wish I'd never grown so obsessed over him.

I hate myself...I wish I'd been more perceptive to just what was right for meI hate the happiness around me...It's always

Comments

[meticulous_grey]

...B.

That is enough. Pull yourself together!

[b_before_l]

Leave me alone. It's not like you care.

I doubt you ever truly did. I was just another possible heir, wasn't I? That's all I was. It was easy for you to kick me out. My sacrifices didn't matter.

[meticulous_grey]

This is not fair.

Your accusations are cruel and pointless. The only thing keeping you from succeeding me was your selfishness.

[b_before_l]

Selfishness? Selfishness?!

You dare to call my actions SELFISH?!

I could have been happy! I could have had a happy life if I hadn't sacrificed for you!

[bloody_aria]

Passed you BY? Have you forgotten how much singing you did?

You could try killing yourself. But if we really are all dead, where are you going to go if you actually die?

[meticulous_grey]

Stay out of this.

[bloody_aria]

Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Go wallow in your misery then.

[meticulous_grey]

I am not the miserable one, here.

[shadedmemories]

B... Have you ever heard the saying... 'if all you have room for in your heart is hate, there can be no room for love?'

It's a little sappy and a little cliche, I know, but it's true, to a point.

I think you're making yourself miserable. I'm not blaming you for doing that, because I think you're doing it on an unconscious level, but... You can be happy. Everyone has the capability. I learned that not long ago, because I was making myself miserable, too.

We're already dead, babe. It's a fact you have to accept. But you shouldn't think of it as the end of your life, but a start for a new one. Your previous life was dedicated to someone else, so you need to dedicate your afterlife to yourself. Be your own person, B. Because I want to get to know you more as your own person. I think I could really get to like you as your own person. :)

[b_before_l]

But what if that person is gone? What if he no longer exists? I can't find him, Duo... I look and I can't find him.
How can I be the person you want to see if I don't even know how to bring him here? What if he died that day? That... What if I killed him myself? Would my former person even WANT to come back?

[shadedmemories]

Then let me help you find him. I know I've seen bits and pieces of him, B. The real you is still in there somewhere. It might take some work to coax him out... but we could attempt it together, if you're willing... If you're willing to let me help you, baby.

Private to Duo and B

[b_before_l]

I feel like, if left alone...I'll do something I will regret.

Please... If I try to go near L or Alice in the near future....stop me from doing anything harmful to them....please...