Calling all aspiring voice actors!
So while I was totally not procrastinating on anything or... anything, I came up with an idea that I wanted to try for an AEM Christmas special. Sure, your ordinary fanfics have boring written holiday specials, but this is ~*~VOICE ACTED~*~. As in, I'm in the process of writing a few skits (most of which are heavily cracky), and I'm currently looking for people to voice it. Once it's pulled all together, it'll be available via SRNet and SPPf as a shiny new merry Christmas to all the readers who put up with me.
So far, the cast looks like this, in no particular order:
Bill, naturally. Main character. Usually soft-spoken, polite, kinda stick-up-the-ass sort of person. Please be able to pull off Queen's English or some semblance thereof.
Adam, same voice as Bill except toneless, creepy, or otherwise a little on the sinister side.
Lanette. Ice queen extraordinaire. Young woman, roughly late teens/early twenties. Delivers everything in a monotone voice, if not outright sarcastic or biting. Has a hint of a French accent, but the accent is not entirely necessary.
Vito, Lanette's assistant. Generic young-man-character-of-the-day voice. You know the kind.
Ellen, a Nurse Joy. Usually saccharine sweet and very feminine. Also a little on the soft-spoken side.
Veronica, an Officer Jenny. Rough voice. Usually loud and angry. Will be completely shitfaced-wasted in some skits, so please be able to pull off sounding like a burly drunk.
Domino, a sly Team Rocket member. Think of a cat purr when delivering her lines. She can also be perky and rather whiny if pushed into a corner.
Thom. Complete idiot. Young man, a lot like the stereotypical teen hero of a shounen anime. Full of energy. Easily confused.
Tate. Mossdeep gym leader, roughly Ash's age. Not creepy child a la the games but instead the easily annoyed little brother type. See anime episodes for reference.
Steven. Champion #1. Gruff voice. A little sandpapery. Commands respect. Always serious.
Wallace. Champion #2. Smoother voice than Steven's. A little on the flamboyant and extravagant side.
Hope. River Tam, aged 11.
Possible appearances include:
Professor Oak. Pretty much doesn't need a description, right?
John. Bill's father and a complete ass hole. Older man (roughly Professor Oak's age). Speaks with a thick Scottish accent. Usually drunk, energetic, and hitting on someone.
Tracey Sketchit, their assistant. Teenager. Overly excited. See anime for reference.
It's okay if you don't hit these voices spot-on, but it'd be really cool if you got close. For example, I probably won't let a girl voice Professor Oak (if he makes it), but I'd be okay if one voiced Tate and took a few liberties. You can also apply for as many roles as you'd like. All you'd need to do is comment or send me a message somehow saying you'd like to voice ____. Please include a short audition clip of yourself as that character just to give me an idea of what I'm working with. If you need help recording, look up Audacity, and if you need a place to put it, I'd highly recommend Sendspace.
That being said, this is the only piece that I've written up so far. It might be tweaked later once I figure out what's a funnier punchline, but it should give you an idea of what kinds of shenanigans to expect.
THOM
Lanette, I think the ixodida got into the egg nog!
LANETTE
Which one? The small one that won't shut up or the big one who's an idiot?
TATE
Did you just compare me to a Chihuahua?
THOM
Um, if you mean the big one who's an idiot as in Bill, then… yes.
LANETTE
For the love of-- what did he do to his leash?! Who was supposed to tie him up out back?!
THOM
Can ixodida even drink egg nog?
TATE
No, seriously, did you just compare me to a Chihuahua?
LANETTE
Vito!
VITO
Yes, Lanette?
LANETTE
Weren't you supposed to make sure Bill didn't break out? What did you use as a leash?
THOM
I mean, I guess egg is a meat, but I'm pretty sure nog isn't.
VITO
C'mon, Lanette. Don't be heartless. It's Christmas! He's not going to hurt anyone, so why not let him sit with us?
TATE
I mean, I really have no objection to comparing Bill to a St. Bernard. Or a Great Dane. Or whatever you were aiming for. But a Chihuahua? Really?
LANETTE
Because he'll get into the egg nog. Who gave him egg nog, anyway?
VERONICA (drunk)
Sorry!
LANETTE
Officer Jenny!
THOM
What is a nog, anyway?
TATE
I guess if you were comparing me to a dachshund or a cute little terrier or something, I'd think it'd be a little less insulting, but a Chihuahua? Steven? Wallace? I'm not a Chihuahua, am I?
STEVEN AND WALLACE (in unison)
No comment.
TATE
Hey!
THOM
Hey, Nurse Joy! What's a nog? Is it, like, some kinda nut?
ELLEN
Um…
VERONICA (now slurring)
Yes, Thom. That's exactly what it is. We're drinking fucking creamed nuts. It's a fucking coffee.
THOM
Sweet! Oh wait! Can Bill drink coffee? Coffee's not a meat, right?
VERONICA
The fuck?
THOM
I mean, is it considered a meat?
ELLEN
Thom, I think maybe you should sit down.
TATE
I'm not a Chihuahua, right, Hope?
LANETTE (growling)
Well, that's just great. Any moment now, we may have a violently sick ixodida. Domino! Keep an eye on him!
DOMINO
What?! Me?! Why me?!
LANETTE
Because I hate you.
HOPE
Mutt. Not Chihuahua. Mutt's more loyal. Lasts longer. Throw a mutt in the cold, takes longer to die of frostbite.
TATE
See? Hope doesn't think I'm a Chihuahua!
STEVEN
Tate, are you sure she's complimenting you?
DOMINO
How is that fair? Just because I'm the one who got him infected, the one who caught him, and maybe the one who made his life miserable, all of a sudden, I'm the one who has to make sure he doesn't puke everywhere?!
HOPE
Mange, though. Mange mutt.
TATE (plaintively)
Hey!
THOM
No, seriously, coffee. What is it?
VERONICA AND ELLEN (in unison)
Sit down, Thom!
LANETTE
Then drag him outside and tie him to a tree or something! I don't want him vomiting in here! Honestly, why would you people give the ixodida egg nog, anyway?!
(The gang break out into near incoherent shouts over each other.)
BILL
Um.
(The gang ignores him.)
BILL
Excuse me.
(Their volume increases.)
BILL (shouting)
Hey!
(Silence.)
BILL
You all realize that I've been drinking water this entire time, right?
(More silence.)
THOM
So what exactly is egg nog, anyway? I mean, are we drinking raw eggs or what?
(The gang goes back to shouting over each other. Bill sighs in exasperation.)
BILL
Happy Christmas, Adam.
ADAM
And to all, a good night.
So far, the cast looks like this, in no particular order:
Bill, naturally. Main character. Usually soft-spoken, polite, kinda stick-up-the-ass sort of person. Please be able to pull off Queen's English or some semblance thereof.
Adam, same voice as Bill except toneless, creepy, or otherwise a little on the sinister side.
Lanette. Ice queen extraordinaire. Young woman, roughly late teens/early twenties. Delivers everything in a monotone voice, if not outright sarcastic or biting. Has a hint of a French accent, but the accent is not entirely necessary.
Vito, Lanette's assistant. Generic young-man-character-of-the-day voice. You know the kind.
Ellen, a Nurse Joy. Usually saccharine sweet and very feminine. Also a little on the soft-spoken side.
Veronica, an Officer Jenny. Rough voice. Usually loud and angry. Will be completely shitfaced-wasted in some skits, so please be able to pull off sounding like a burly drunk.
Domino, a sly Team Rocket member. Think of a cat purr when delivering her lines. She can also be perky and rather whiny if pushed into a corner.
Thom. Complete idiot. Young man, a lot like the stereotypical teen hero of a shounen anime. Full of energy. Easily confused.
Tate. Mossdeep gym leader, roughly Ash's age. Not creepy child a la the games but instead the easily annoyed little brother type. See anime episodes for reference.
Steven. Champion #1. Gruff voice. A little sandpapery. Commands respect. Always serious.
Wallace. Champion #2. Smoother voice than Steven's. A little on the flamboyant and extravagant side.
Hope. River Tam, aged 11.
Possible appearances include:
Professor Oak. Pretty much doesn't need a description, right?
John. Bill's father and a complete ass hole. Older man (roughly Professor Oak's age). Speaks with a thick Scottish accent. Usually drunk, energetic, and hitting on someone.
Tracey Sketchit, their assistant. Teenager. Overly excited. See anime for reference.
It's okay if you don't hit these voices spot-on, but it'd be really cool if you got close. For example, I probably won't let a girl voice Professor Oak (if he makes it), but I'd be okay if one voiced Tate and took a few liberties. You can also apply for as many roles as you'd like. All you'd need to do is comment or send me a message somehow saying you'd like to voice ____. Please include a short audition clip of yourself as that character just to give me an idea of what I'm working with. If you need help recording, look up Audacity, and if you need a place to put it, I'd highly recommend Sendspace.
That being said, this is the only piece that I've written up so far. It might be tweaked later once I figure out what's a funnier punchline, but it should give you an idea of what kinds of shenanigans to expect.
THOM
Lanette, I think the ixodida got into the egg nog!
LANETTE
Which one? The small one that won't shut up or the big one who's an idiot?
TATE
Did you just compare me to a Chihuahua?
THOM
Um, if you mean the big one who's an idiot as in Bill, then… yes.
LANETTE
For the love of-- what did he do to his leash?! Who was supposed to tie him up out back?!
THOM
Can ixodida even drink egg nog?
TATE
No, seriously, did you just compare me to a Chihuahua?
LANETTE
Vito!
VITO
Yes, Lanette?
LANETTE
Weren't you supposed to make sure Bill didn't break out? What did you use as a leash?
THOM
I mean, I guess egg is a meat, but I'm pretty sure nog isn't.
VITO
C'mon, Lanette. Don't be heartless. It's Christmas! He's not going to hurt anyone, so why not let him sit with us?
TATE
I mean, I really have no objection to comparing Bill to a St. Bernard. Or a Great Dane. Or whatever you were aiming for. But a Chihuahua? Really?
LANETTE
Because he'll get into the egg nog. Who gave him egg nog, anyway?
VERONICA (drunk)
Sorry!
LANETTE
Officer Jenny!
THOM
What is a nog, anyway?
TATE
I guess if you were comparing me to a dachshund or a cute little terrier or something, I'd think it'd be a little less insulting, but a Chihuahua? Steven? Wallace? I'm not a Chihuahua, am I?
STEVEN AND WALLACE (in unison)
No comment.
TATE
Hey!
THOM
Hey, Nurse Joy! What's a nog? Is it, like, some kinda nut?
ELLEN
Um…
VERONICA (now slurring)
Yes, Thom. That's exactly what it is. We're drinking fucking creamed nuts. It's a fucking coffee.
THOM
Sweet! Oh wait! Can Bill drink coffee? Coffee's not a meat, right?
VERONICA
The fuck?
THOM
I mean, is it considered a meat?
ELLEN
Thom, I think maybe you should sit down.
TATE
I'm not a Chihuahua, right, Hope?
LANETTE (growling)
Well, that's just great. Any moment now, we may have a violently sick ixodida. Domino! Keep an eye on him!
DOMINO
What?! Me?! Why me?!
LANETTE
Because I hate you.
HOPE
Mutt. Not Chihuahua. Mutt's more loyal. Lasts longer. Throw a mutt in the cold, takes longer to die of frostbite.
TATE
See? Hope doesn't think I'm a Chihuahua!
STEVEN
Tate, are you sure she's complimenting you?
DOMINO
How is that fair? Just because I'm the one who got him infected, the one who caught him, and maybe the one who made his life miserable, all of a sudden, I'm the one who has to make sure he doesn't puke everywhere?!
HOPE
Mange, though. Mange mutt.
TATE (plaintively)
Hey!
THOM
No, seriously, coffee. What is it?
VERONICA AND ELLEN (in unison)
Sit down, Thom!
LANETTE
Then drag him outside and tie him to a tree or something! I don't want him vomiting in here! Honestly, why would you people give the ixodida egg nog, anyway?!
(The gang break out into near incoherent shouts over each other.)
BILL
Um.
(The gang ignores him.)
BILL
Excuse me.
(Their volume increases.)
BILL (shouting)
Hey!
(Silence.)
BILL
You all realize that I've been drinking water this entire time, right?
(More silence.)
THOM
So what exactly is egg nog, anyway? I mean, are we drinking raw eggs or what?
(The gang goes back to shouting over each other. Bill sighs in exasperation.)
BILL
Happy Christmas, Adam.
ADAM
And to all, a good night.