Comments | ayradyss: Sometimes you cry...

ayradyss

Sometimes you cry...

Jul 21, 2005 02:43

Beautiful girl, young for this to be her third baby. One of those shining pregnant girls who is only belly and cheeks and the glow of youth. Notes on the chart: baby up for adoption.
I am in the tail end of conversations, overheard whispers, words and thoughts and half-completed discussions. The adoptive parents are here, they will be at the ( Read more... )

grief, on call, adoption, ob

Comments 15

squigglz July 21 2005, 08:03:33 UTC

That just...made me cry my eyes out. Such a hard choice...such a hard job for you to do there...

She was very brave. So were you. And I hope you both know that.

ayradyss July 21 2005, 08:49:16 UTC

One little miracle at a time...

reynardo July 21 2005, 08:19:46 UTC

I think you told the truth. I think she made a brave and very hard decision, and you did what you could to make it as easy for her as possible. To decide that you know you cannot support a child and give it the best possible chances you want it to have, and that the best way is for that child to have different parents, is ... hell.

I know.

Oh do I know.

I pray that she knows in her heart that she made the right decision, and that one day she confirms that indeed she did. As I did.

reynardo July 21 2005, 08:42:29 UTC

For "right" , I mean "Best possible"

ayradyss July 21 2005, 08:48:46 UTC

*hugs*
Thanks for sharing.

reynardo July 21 2005, 09:10:00 UTC

You are most welcome. I have been lucky enough to find out that my wonderful son quatranoctal has had all the advantages and love and support I wanted him to have when I put him up for adoption when I was 19 and him 5 days. And yes, it was a hard choice. And yes, no single choice was completely the right one. But in my case it was the best one.

staralyn July 21 2005, 08:24:31 UTC

the OB later told me that her reaction was that he had seen in women whose children are born dead.

I hope that during your rotation in OB, you never have to deliver a dead baby.

ayradyss July 21 2005, 08:47:26 UTC

Your hopes are mine, in this matter.

But death happens, and I can only hope that if it happens I am prepared.

silmaril July 21 2005, 13:28:42 UTC

I can't really say anything that won't sound trite; except that I hope you won't mind that I'm linking to this from my own journal.

I ask.... alythe July 21 2005, 13:54:49 UTC

I ask you a favor, dear lady. Do not forget the joy of the parents who, for whatever reason, have decided to adopt such a tiny bit of beauty. The mother has made a tough decision, its true, but think of this:

Those parents have probably, unless they've been very lucky, waited YEARS for this moment. A chance when they could adopt a child into their loving relationship and share their lives with a new member of their family. That child, though the birth mother could not have supported him well, is still given the opportunity to grow up with loving parents who CAN support him and who wanted a child of their own badly enough to go through the process of adopting. He is not 'unwanted' or 'uncared for' now that he has joined the world. And his adoptive parents are blessed with this joy.

Do not only grieve. There is happiness here too.