[Video]

[onemanaloooone]

[Simmons is, as per usual with his video posts, in his shop. He's leaning on the counter, in a classic salesman pose.]

We got a new shipment of weird in today, kids. Hurry up and get in here before the Transtechs decide I ain't supposed to move this merchandise

Comments

[derpjet]

Gimme.

[onemanaloooone]

What? You want me t'magic 'em up outta nowhere? Gotta come get 'em before they're gone, my incredibly inept jet.

[derpjet]

Okay.

[Don't be surprised if a big derpy jet appears out of thin air~]

[onemanaloooone]

[You'd better do your teleporting outside his place. Otherwise he's suing you for damages.]

[thunder_cracked]

Is this supposed to be a joke?

[onemanaloooone]

'S it look like I am at all joking?

[thunder_cracked]

I'm worried you actually think you're being clever.

[onemanaloooone]

I'm just a perfectly normal American tryin' to make a buck. Nothin' at all clever about that.

[Video]

[cmdrstarscream]

Having a sale, are we? Laden with Energon and ulterior motives are they?

[Video]

[onemanaloooone]

I don't see no ulterior motives nowhere. 'Cept for an honest American work ethic.

[Video]

[cmdrstarscream]

Very well. Shall I request permission to enter hostile airspace?

[Video]

[onemanaloooone]

Let's get one thing very clear, Doritoscream.

You ain't shootin' at me, the kids, or their car, I ain't shootin' back. Nothin's hostile unless you make it thataway.

[Action]

[wreckerverity]

[Verity's still a bit...tipsy from her encounter with Cap'n Max and...whatever they called 'tequila' in that place. Food? Yeah, it seemed like a great idea....and a completely terrible one at the same time.

[She wobbles into Simmons's meat emporium, stares at the pile labeled 'Thunderbiscuits'.]

Cute name. Refers, I'm guessin', to the completely toxic flatulence they produce?

[Action]

[onemanaloooone]

Not in the slightest. Refers to the complex naming process by which yours truly made an homage to one of the many annoyin' jets I get zipping all over the place.

You buyin' or what, Princess?

[Action]

[wreckerverity]

Yeah, I bet you stayed up all night thinking of that one, chief. Though not sure why you'd want to name something after, you know, the slaggin' enemy? What? Like was the name Mussolini-blini already taken or something?

[Gruh. Simmons is a jerk!. And he just radiates...The Man vibes. Verity hates The Man. But...they look cheddary.......]

One of them, and something to wash it down. Got anything good for hangovers?

[You know, just askin'.]

[Action]

[onemanaloooone]

It's called catharsis. Ever heard of it? Nah--probably not. Very technical term, that is.

[He looks her up and down, before shrugging.]

Probably not. Just a bunch of bread and cheese and who the hell knows what else.

[Video]

[shinysupergirl]

What? You're not gonna use them for ammo?

[Video]

[onemanaloooone]

These look like muffins t'you?

[Video]

[shinysupergirl]

Hey; they're baked goods and are about the same size- so why not?

[Video]

[onemanaloooone]

Why not?

Why not?

Because the muffin launcher is specifically designed for the aerodynamic properties of muffins. One baked good - y'hear me? One baked good. And one alone!