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[autumns_child]

Why would he do this to me? I keep asking myself. Keep wanting to ask him. Keep seeing her tucked into my bed under my blanket, dark skin, no make up, red hair, work clothes. Finding their name badges together on the table. Her touching my dog. Saying my dog's name. Wearing his hoody. Why? How? So this is how people turn into douchebags. I'm using

Comments

[teknolovesong]

refinement, refinement, refinement. loss is so hard, especially the loss of someone you hoped to never lose, but it happens, and all you can do is take it in, accept it, swallow it whole, and make it part of you. and move on.

[autumns_child]

Do you think this is all there is to love? It just seems like a fucking trap now, or some kind of myth. I think I'm done with it for good.

[betharoonie]

you deserve better. and i'm sorry it happened this way.

[autumns_child]

You're right. This is a huge point in my life but the sadness is surprisingly not as extreme as I always feared it would be. I've had thiis fear since we even started dating because that's what happened with Mark. And I told him to please promise to let me know if he ever stopped loving me. It's just fucked what people are capable of, even seemingly nice guys. But I think he had already gotten me so used to living without him and falling asleep alone that it makes this a little easier. I miss my dog like hell though. I couldn't take him with me because I just couldn't get the image of that girl touching him and talking to him out of my head. Maybe I'll get over it soon and take him back I mean I raised him from fucking puppyhood. Anyway I know I'm going to be okay.

[betharoonie]

i know. it's fucking terrible. you don't expect it and you hope for so much so when it happens you're more shocked than anything else.
yeah you should take your dog back. it is yours, and i doubt he'll love it as much as you. or that other bitch.
it will be okay. <3

[thedreamsound]

i only come back to lj to read you and maybe like 2 other people. this sucks shit. but im glad you feel that you can move on. getting out of a relationship is tough the first month but as more time passes, you'll feel more exhilarated and you'll find a new shine to everything. promise.

[autumns_child]

Hopefully I can stay away...