Hey, hon. Speaking as someone who's been on the periphery of your life since our move I have a few comments that may or may not offend. I'm also wordy and tend to pontificate, so forgive me if this gets "preachy." To be honest I've been reading your LJ for the past few years and have been a bit worried with the drinking but for some reason felt it wasn't my place to pass judgment upon you. I mean, who am I to talk when I have my own demons to deal with? But I'll just come out and say it. I think you drink too much and you need to stop. If your close friends, as you put it, drink, then you need to get new friends. There was a time when my social life revolved around the bar scene but as I matured and began to realize I needed to focus my life on other things I made a decision to leave that “scene.” It was easier for me in that a few of my friends were in the same place and I still had a small network of friends outside of the bar scene, but many didn't and still continue to spend just about every moment outside of work at the
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Are you back in DC? I thought you were doing the Atlanta thing for now. I usually have 3 day weekends during my work week. We'll figure this out as soon as the madness of the holidays is over.
I have to agree with a lot of what Wes said. People exist as parts of a system, not as isolated islands. If your friends, and the women you date, tend to be variations on an unhappy / unhealthy theme, then maybe you should try something completely different. Try doing someting that will put you in contact with a completely different group of people, and see how you do with it. Maybe you could take a cooking class, or maybe there's an art museum that does tours regularly, or maybe you could go to swing dance classes. You may not end up finding true love, but at least you can change the scenery and improve your chances of finding something different.
And as for your negative opinion of women generally - men aren't really any different. You're just not trying to date guys, so it's less of an issue. People generally can often be manipulative bastards. The trick is to find the good ones (of whatever gender), and try to have as many of those around you as you can.
True and honest opinions are tough. My true and honest opinions change with the winds, and I suspect most people have no idea about what their own opinions are EVER. All you can ask is for people to be as authentic as they know how to be in the moment, or not to be intentionally misleading. I tend to mentally qualify some people as toddlers to prevent myself from being angry with them all the time. They're not equipped to do certain things, and so I don't ask them of them. You wouldn't ask a four-year-old how to fix a car -- unless you were looking for a cute soundbite
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I apologize if these reply seems brief, I'm at work and shouldn't linger, but I think it's all a matter of moderation. Drinking is ok, in moderation. Anger is normal and healthy, in moderation. Distrust and suspicion is a good way to guard against those looking to take advantage of you, but take it too far and you end up isolating yourself from not only potential friends or lovers, but from those who already care for you
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Get fed wholesome, if badly cooked meals. Watch obscure tv shows on DVD with me and sample Ice Wine.
The refuge is here if you ever need it.
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I usually have 3 day weekends during my work week. We'll figure this out as soon as the madness of the holidays is over.
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And as for your negative opinion of women generally - men aren't really any different. You're just not trying to date guys, so it's less of an issue. People generally can often be manipulative bastards. The trick is to find the good ones (of whatever gender), and try to have as many of those around you as you can.
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