Too tired....

[auntbijou]

I'm very tired tonight. I got over-heated taking my kids to a late afternoon soccer clinic with the local pro-team, the Austin Aztex, and came home feeling absolutely crummy. My temp was 102 when I got in, oh yay

Comments

[kathrynthegr8]

*hugs*

I'm there with you.

[auntbijou]

Thank you, kath. And I'm glad to hear your mother is doing better. Sucks when our parents don't stay immortal, doesn't it? *hugs you right back*

[iamshadow]

*hugs you tight*

Someone else on my flist went through the ordeal of nursing their mother through the final week or two of cancer a couple of months ago. She also posted about her mother refusing food, and someone said this in the comments to her, about their own experience:

The hospice people told us that refusing to eat and drink was the patient's way of deciding that they had enough and that they were at peace with moving on. Letting go of that was one of the hardest things for me. I desperately needed to make sure that she was properly fed and hydrated. But, letting go of that in the end was a blessing. It stopped making her so miserable and it was the right thing to do in her situation.

It's going to be difficult for all of you. I lost my grandmother the other year to strokes and dementia, and you always feel like you should be doing 'something' to fix it somehow. As hard as it is, there comes a time when there's nothing you can do to fix it, and in fact, trying to fix it is like trying to stop the tide. Death is the natural

[auntbijou]

You know, I knew that about the not eating, but I couldn't put it into words. Your comment helped me calm my sister down (and me, too, since I was no longer frustrated by trying to express something I didn't have words for) and get her through her panic.

He's doing a little better. Not great, but he's trying to eat again. We will just have to see where it goes from here.

Thank you so much, for everything!

This is not a joke...

[panthyr]

I know he's tired, and nauseated, and ground down. Have you suggested the possibility of medical cannabis? I know it's not anywhere close to legal in this state. He may react badly. But perhaps if just taking nourishment wasn't such a chore...

Re: This is not a joke...

[auntbijou]

That was actually one of the first things I thought of, but he won't do it. He's such a ... well, goody-two-shoes, he can't see it as anything other than illegal, even if his doctor is willing to give him a prescription for it.

Might help Mom relax a bit though...

[hedwigs_bane]

I wish I could offer more than good wishes and prayers, but since that all I've got, they are yours and your families in abundance.

[auntbijou]

Thank you, Palmer. Have I told you lately how much I love and appreciate you?

[karadin]

Aw hon, this is very hard for you, and I feel so bad on your behalf, my mother died at 60 from cancer, and then my husband's mother five years later from cancer, and they both slipped into comas near the end, I just think sometimes, it's time to let go, and if I could have allowed my mother the ease into death she wanted, I would have said, yep, choose how you want to go, you know? Keep only the good memories, cos it's been six years, but I keep remembering the awful stuff at the end, cos no one else could deal with it. In the end, you have to deal with your own method of grieving, you can't worry about your sisters, yeah?

[auntbijou]

I think it is the ultimate irony that I am the youngest (by 13 and 15 years) and I'M the one worrying about THEM!

The hardest part is having to do all this from a distance. And mostly, what I'm having to do is tell them both, "let him do this the way HE wants to. He's 85, he's tired, he's in pain, stop telling him he's got to keep fighting and hanging on."

I just want him to be comfortable and to stop worrying so much. They'll have to come to their own peace with it, I know that. The hard part is just... getting through it.