Comments | augmenti: shinee/f(x); fluently speaking.

augmenti

shinee/f(x); fluently speaking.

Aug 08, 2010 02:31

fluently speaking.
taemin and victora have a language all of their own.
→633 words. taemin/victoria; g

( if she had to pick any language to speak in for the rest of her life, she'd pick dancing. )

f: f(x), p: crossover, f: shinee, l: 100——1000 w

Comments 37

awkwardnormalcy August 8 2010, 06:52:19 UTC

...

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I have no words for the amazing-ness that is this piece. Its so unique and wonderful, I love the imagery it invoked and the feelings, I kind of want a follow-up but at the same time this is perfect just as it is. Kudos, I love this *mems*

augmenti August 8 2010, 06:54:04 UTC

kjjfj thank you so much ;__;

awkwardnormalcy August 8 2010, 06:57:15 UTC

Thank you for writing this! It's prompted me to finish my KhunToria and work on my Amber/Shisus fic(finally) <3 please write more with f(X), you wrote Toria so well~ <3

augmenti August 8 2010, 07:00:29 UTC

i honestly didn't think i did her any sort of justice at all, so thanks a ton! :D

mariandevotion August 8 2010, 07:22:38 UTC

This is lovely. :) I really like your idea of dance as a form of communication between two dancers. Your prose is clean and you have a great flow.

it's not fair, he reasons, because she's always perfect where he's always awkward and it's just not right that it be this way. she's always there though, even when he makes mistakes, gently correcting him with nothing but a smile and a repeat of whatever he'd flopped up.

I love how you portray their relationship here, with Victoria taking on a mentor's role. But at the same time, I don't feel that there's necessarily a power imbalance in the relationship despite their age difference, because as you said, they both need to connect through dance in order to complement each other's flaws and needs. Victoria, as a foreigner who is still acclimatizing to South Korean language and customs, needs someone like Taemin who understands her and shares her interests. Who can tell how she feels or what she's thinking just by the way she's dancing. :)

There were a few minor typos I found:

they's ( ... )

augmenti August 8 2010, 07:29:40 UTC

i feel like i've just been given a rare treat ;___;♥ thank you for your crit and akjkljlj going to correct the minor typos right now. i think i should invest in more good read-throughs, beta's, and less writing while watching movies with grandparents. :( ♥♥

mariandevotion August 8 2010, 07:39:46 UTC

It's my pleasure. :DD I can never resist commenting on the writing that makes me think and satisfies the desires I didn't even know I had, which this piece definitely did. ♥!!

augmenti August 8 2010, 07:48:58 UTC

sobs, i'm happy i could do that for you ;;. also, sobbing harder, but i sneaked into your journal and kjaljj your art is so fantastically beautiful, omg♥♥

stickyblocks August 8 2010, 07:28:02 UTC

omg. shinee/f(X) you rock my socks off. TT TT esp since it's taemin/victoria. you almost converted me from a khuntoria shipper. D:

augmenti August 8 2010, 07:31:23 UTC

oh no, as an avid khuntoria shipper i'm sorry ;__; please don't stop liking them and thank you for reading and commenting!

mei_zi August 8 2010, 07:29:59 UTC

Okay, how pretty was this. ♥ Taemin's feelings were potrayed beautifully. (':

augmenti August 8 2010, 07:31:46 UTC

thank you! i'm glad you liked it :D

saracupcaked August 8 2010, 08:34:17 UTC

I think the thing that stood out the most for me was how realistic it was. Taemin's crush and rationalisations of Victoria pampering him is painfully sweet and that last line? The perfect ending :')

augmenti August 8 2010, 08:37:25 UTC

to be honest it wasn't until after i was done that i realized that taemin probably wouldn't want to be pampered, lol. thank you for reading and commenting ;;!