Under the Bed

[attentionhoard]

                                                           JORDAN

Hello Dr.

DEAN

Look can we just-

JORDAN

I need help. I thought it’d do me some good. You know, talking to someone.

Comments

[drippedonpaper]

I think you've hit it on the head, that sometimes indidelity isn't about trying to hurt someone else or even honestly about loving someone else, sometimes it's mostly curiousity once people have promised to limit themselves to one

[attentionhoard]

Thank you so much for such an encouraging comment! It's definitely appreciated :D

As for your theatre appreciation class, DO let me know if you need any help, ever, I'm a big dork for all things theatre and have read pretty much all the classics and quite in-depth into the historical canon of plays. I'm here to help!

[jamais_toujours]

Ouch. I didn't see the end of that one coming. Jordan sounds like a pretty horrible person. She had an affair and hurt her husband then had the nerve to come and place all the blame on Dean. Maybe she really should see a therapist. I really enjoyed reading this :).

[attentionhoard]

Thanks for reading- glad you enjoyed!

[taste_is_sweet]

That was neat. :)

I figured pretty quickly that Jordan was having the affair with Dean, but it became very suspenseful waiting for how that would turn out. I don't think she should have blamed it on him either, but sometimes it's more important to be able to place blame than to admit the truth, eh?

[attentionhoard]

Yes, I think the clue are there early on so glad you caught on!

Thank you for reading- neat is a pretty good compliment in my book! :D

[walkertxkitty]

I've never read a screenplay format before and I liked this. I do wish you had put some more cues in about emotions because it's hard to tell from just the words what might be going on.

The subject matter is interesting food for thought. I'll bet you're right about that --- most infidelity is about curiosity or a need unfulfilled.

Clever twist at the end, though I had guessed.

[attentionhoard]

This is actually in stage play format, thus the lack of emotional direction- those are often devoid of theatrical works because of actor interpetation.

Thanks for reading!

characters in the play

[giazz_40]

Hi there,

Just a thought (and I am still new at writing, so take it as a little tidbit of info), but I had a hard time trying to figure out if Jordan was a woman or a man. Maybe do a small introduction at the top? Jordan - woman in 40s married, psyco (or whatever).

I did like this though, I thought Dean could have given more of a "psycosis evaluation" type personality, but the tie was a good prop, I did like that.

G

Re: characters in the play

[attentionhoard]

Hi there, thanks for reading! In the opening stage directions it clearly uses SHE as an article when referring to Jordan so I don't think there's much concern there- thanks for the comment though.

As for Dean's personality- that could be fun! Thanks for your suggestion! :D